And your boy Ollie is very, very excited. Why? Well, aside from the fact that I am a HUGE reality t.v. junkie, I absolutely love the first 2-3 weeks of Americal Idol. People makin a damn fool of themselves, arguin with judges, and just generally gettin out of pocket thinkin their punk ass can sang.
I cant wait to see this type'a tomfoolery this year...
HAHAHA. Can we please address each of these performances individually.
#5 Melissa Hoover
I love how her hillbilly deluxe mama is responsible for this lunacy. "She's basically got the whole package". Right. I almost feel bad, but as you all know, I lack emotion so that feeling quickly escapes me. In fact, I feel bad that I dont feel bad, does that make sense? Back to Melissa, how in the fuck are you going to show up to an Americal Idol audition and completely freestyle a combination of like 6 songs? Did anyone catch that? she was hittin' the judges with 6 takes at once, and I for one find that genius, it's just too bad she was completely tone deaf.
#4 The Derrick
Alright seriously, this cat gets a little bit of props. Why? Well, have you ever tried to pop, lock, and moonwalk all over the place while singin' accapella? Me neither, but I can imagine that it's quite tough. I can't get over how much dude looks like Jamie Kennedy's character "B-Rad" in Malibu's Most Wanted. The singing, it doesn't require a response from me. It's just bad.
#3 Siyahlent Night
Schnap. That 'fro is not helpin homie at all, and neither is that dish rag he calls a shirt. LOL at the remix. "Siyahlent night, I said'a siyahlent night" with absolutely no emotion. This is one of my favorites of all time cause I can only assume this cat goes extra hard on his hoe. I dont know why I know that, but I just do.
#2 Julie
Bad thicknes + Opera-pop crossover voice + Flower print shirt + tone deaf + wrong words = Compete and utter failure. The judges were completely speechless and you could see the terror growin in ol' girls face as she waited for a response. They cut off Simon's response, but you know he encouraged homegirl to off herself immediately. Again, I am forced to ask this question, Who is tellin these people they can sang?
#1 Jennifer
First of all, can we please take away Jennifer's sharpie? That eyebrow game is just turrible. I love how she really stuck the landing there at the end though with that killer pose-off. I don't think she is the worst this show has ever seen, in fact, I think she could easily trade places with #2 on this list.
It is easy to see why American Idol is one of my favorite reality shows right now. Mainly because it is actual reality and not scripted. On top of that, Simon is a completely shameless Dick, Randy is still searchin for street cred, Paula is out of her damn mind, and they are adding a new broad this year. This should be a very good season.
P.S. Remember when Paula was still bad?
That pompadour is fierce.
-Ollie
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Headline of the day: Man Sells Daughter for Beer
The story from Yahoo! News...
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GREENFIELD, Calif. – Police have arrested a Greenfield man for allegedly arranging to sell his 14-year-old daughter into marriage in exchange for $16,000, 100 cases of beer and several cases of meat.
Police said they only learned of the deal after the 36-year-old man went to them to get his daughter back because payment wasn't made as promised. The man was arrested Sunday on suspicion of human trafficking.
Officers also arrested an 18-year-old man on suspicion of statutory rape. Investigators believe the girl went willingly with the man, but she's under California's legal age of consent and can't legally marry.
Police say arranged marriages involving underage girls have become a problem in this small Central Coast farming community.
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Holy Smokes! I gotta ask, Where did they come up with those specific numbers? I mean, how did they decide on 16 g's, 100 cases of beer (is that 12, 20, or 24 packs?) and some meat. This guy is the ultimate Man in my book. He would rather have a little cash, some brews, and some steaks instead of a daughter. Also, this happened in California. The best part is, he's going to jail for accidently snitchin' on himself. GONG!! I dont care how small the town is, California is still one of the most socially and culturally advanced states in the nation. I could take this story a little more easily if this happened in say, I'ontknow, Indiana. But California? C'mon now.
-Ollie with the sales pitch
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GREENFIELD, Calif. – Police have arrested a Greenfield man for allegedly arranging to sell his 14-year-old daughter into marriage in exchange for $16,000, 100 cases of beer and several cases of meat.
Police said they only learned of the deal after the 36-year-old man went to them to get his daughter back because payment wasn't made as promised. The man was arrested Sunday on suspicion of human trafficking.
Officers also arrested an 18-year-old man on suspicion of statutory rape. Investigators believe the girl went willingly with the man, but she's under California's legal age of consent and can't legally marry.
Police say arranged marriages involving underage girls have become a problem in this small Central Coast farming community.
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Holy Smokes! I gotta ask, Where did they come up with those specific numbers? I mean, how did they decide on 16 g's, 100 cases of beer (is that 12, 20, or 24 packs?) and some meat. This guy is the ultimate Man in my book. He would rather have a little cash, some brews, and some steaks instead of a daughter. Also, this happened in California. The best part is, he's going to jail for accidently snitchin' on himself. GONG!! I dont care how small the town is, California is still one of the most socially and culturally advanced states in the nation. I could take this story a little more easily if this happened in say, I'ontknow, Indiana. But California? C'mon now.
-Ollie with the sales pitch
Instant Classic: Dirt Nasty
Anyone who reads this site knows that my favorite thing in this world outside of the thick white woman is ice cold extra pimperish super ign'ant behavoir. I can't explain why I love outlandish behavoir so much, maybe its a reflection of my wild days as a young buck on the come-up, maybe its because I listened to so much early '90's Bay Area rap music, or maybe its just because wild muhfuckas make me laugh. Whatever the reason, just know, if you go hard on your hoe, clown stupid folks to their face, or just generally act like a dick at all times, you are definitely cool in my book.
Now that we've gotten the new readers up to speed (Ollie has been shamelessly self promoting via myspace and facebook), let's get into today's first post.
Dirt Nasty is straight up cold. Like dry ice, burn your fingers cause it's so damn cold, COLD. I absolutely love this cat. I remember hearin some of his joints a couple years back, but I hadn't thought about him since. Yesterday I was cruisin one of the homie's myspace pages and saw a couple videos from Dirt Nasty posted on his page.
Matter of fact, lets get into those right now...
This first joint is called "droppin names". He basically just calls out anyone with any sort of celebrity and goes really hard on these punk ass tricks that run around Hollywood acting like they're owed somethin. Roll that shit...
HAHA. Is it obvious yet why I like this cat so much? This fool is O.J. Simpson official pimpin slappin hoes and doin it extra MAGNUM. HAHA.
Some of you might be thinking, why do I recognize him? It's really a simple answer... His name is Simon Rex and he is an actor/model. He was in the "Scary Movie" series along with a bunch of other t.v. shows and whatnot. The truth is, Dirt Nasty is his alter ego, and being that I have a ridiculous amount of alter egos, my affection for what this fool is doin just grows.
Here's another joint called 1980...
I love how he makes fun of the super educated, AP english, listened to too much Wu-Tang and tryin to align your rhymes with the planets, doesn't make a bit of sense but the backpackers follow it, typical, run of the mill, everyday white kid rap. He even has a backpack on. This fool is too damn much. Watch out for a cameo from Schwayze(those jerk-offs from the MTV show Buzzin') and Evidence from Dilated Peoples fame.
One more video for good measure cause I'm feelin so agressively ice cold right now...
This one is called "Cracker Ass Fantastic"...
HAHA. Nothin more to say other than "Classic". This cat inspires me to rap, no joke. I think imma hafta drop an album this year. Yeah Right.
-Young Ollie da Don
Now that we've gotten the new readers up to speed (Ollie has been shamelessly self promoting via myspace and facebook), let's get into today's first post.
Dirt Nasty is straight up cold. Like dry ice, burn your fingers cause it's so damn cold, COLD. I absolutely love this cat. I remember hearin some of his joints a couple years back, but I hadn't thought about him since. Yesterday I was cruisin one of the homie's myspace pages and saw a couple videos from Dirt Nasty posted on his page.
Matter of fact, lets get into those right now...
This first joint is called "droppin names". He basically just calls out anyone with any sort of celebrity and goes really hard on these punk ass tricks that run around Hollywood acting like they're owed somethin. Roll that shit...
HAHA. Is it obvious yet why I like this cat so much? This fool is O.J. Simpson official pimpin slappin hoes and doin it extra MAGNUM. HAHA.
Some of you might be thinking, why do I recognize him? It's really a simple answer... His name is Simon Rex and he is an actor/model. He was in the "Scary Movie" series along with a bunch of other t.v. shows and whatnot. The truth is, Dirt Nasty is his alter ego, and being that I have a ridiculous amount of alter egos, my affection for what this fool is doin just grows.
Here's another joint called 1980...
I love how he makes fun of the super educated, AP english, listened to too much Wu-Tang and tryin to align your rhymes with the planets, doesn't make a bit of sense but the backpackers follow it, typical, run of the mill, everyday white kid rap. He even has a backpack on. This fool is too damn much. Watch out for a cameo from Schwayze(those jerk-offs from the MTV show Buzzin') and Evidence from Dilated Peoples fame.
One more video for good measure cause I'm feelin so agressively ice cold right now...
This one is called "Cracker Ass Fantastic"...
HAHA. Nothin more to say other than "Classic". This cat inspires me to rap, no joke. I think imma hafta drop an album this year. Yeah Right.
-Young Ollie da Don
Monday, January 12, 2009
I Always Wanted To Fly
Has anybody seen this video yet? Shit is absolutely ridiculous. These cats are actually flying son.
wingsuit base jumping from Ali on Vimeo.
That is some of the dopest footage I've seen in a long, LONG time. Shouts to the homie "T" for linkin' the video.
Seriously though, if you skipped that video, go back. It will reintroduce you to all of your childhood fantasies.
Thegluttony.com
-Ollie the Dreamer
wingsuit base jumping from Ali on Vimeo.
That is some of the dopest footage I've seen in a long, LONG time. Shouts to the homie "T" for linkin' the video.
Seriously though, if you skipped that video, go back. It will reintroduce you to all of your childhood fantasies.
Thegluttony.com
-Ollie the Dreamer
A Picture is Worth 1,000 Words
HAHAHA. Look at the look on both of these goons face's.
Kanye = Gay
50 = Homothug.
In other news, my favorite website on the net outside of the BAMA is now officially:
Thegluttony.com
Thegluttony.com
Thegluttony.com
Thegluttony.com
Thegluttony.com
Click the links, read the homies blog. Its good stuff.
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