Holy Lord: PtheG - Cheeseburger

Man, Fresno...



Get in the k"no"w already. HAHAHA.

-Olls back with a vengeance.

In Your Face Like A Buck Fitty Wit a Razor

Pure. Raw. Classic.

OC - Far From Yours. On my '97 shit yet again. Man I miss the days...

-Ollie

New Makeshift Leak: NPB Exclusive

Been slackin on that j.o. last few days. Shoulda never left you, but I'm here, and I come bearing gifts.

Talkin to the homie Shift this morning and he blessed me with a new joint.

"You be puffin Stress"...



According to my dude, the BAMA is the first blog to get this up, so enjoy.

And because I'm such a good cat, here's a link to download the track and have it for your ipod. I know, I know, I'm too good to the streets.

Download Here

Hold The Fuckin' Phone: Shyne is Out?!?!

This day has seriously been on my mind for years now. The release of Jamal Barrow a.k.a. Shyne Po of the once infamous, now debunkt Bad Boy family. Oh you didn't hear? Combat Jack put the people up on what was really poppin' behind the scenes at Bad Boy over on his blog, Daily-Math.com. The Reader's Digest version goes like this... Diddy tried to strongarm Interscope records, frontin' like he was still top billin' for the heavy loot cakes, Interscope responded with, what now looks to me, like a straight hostile takeover and sat Diddy's punk ass down with the quickness. Bad Boy headquarters is now officially closed down, and Bad Boy records as a label, as a movement, as the epicenter for some of the most classic hip hop tracks ever created, will now be manned from a corner office at Interscope records, withOUT Diddy pullin the strings.

Wait... Seriously? Bad Boy with no Diddy? I'm gonna go on record now and say that Bad Boy will never officially release another GOLD album for the rest of it's existence. The wheels have fallen off. The dynasty is finished. Like so many before it (read: Roc-A-Fella, Death Row, Loud, etc.), Bad Boy has gone the way of the Buffalo. Has the last great piece of Hip Hop history fallen at our feet? The signs of Armageddon are real people. Let's read thru Nostradomus' works and cross reference the words Diddy/Bad Boy/End of Times, I'm sure Science can figure out a way to Blame Puff for ending the world. I mean, he did end Shyne's life...

Or did he...?

I'm not sure if it is neccessary or not to give the back story as to what happened that cold New York City night that ended with Shyne takin' the hit for the squad (like a true soldier), but I have to assume that all the minions and followers are not quite "up on shit".

The story that I believe most, (again, no one but J.Lo, Puff, Shyne, and a few other select individuals truly know what popped), is that Puff got yoked, decided to flex his bitchassness and pop a few shots at some cats to impress J.Lo, then threw the gun in Shyne's lap and said: "Do you want your record to come out? Take the heat".

Shyne, at this time was still a 21 year old goon straight out of the gutters of NY's mean streets, thuggin is in his blood, and at this time in the world of hip hop, what Puff said, was gospel.

Fast forward 3+ months, Shyne is facing 10 years for attempted murder, amongst other things. The verdict is read. Guilty.



The man who was supposed to bring Bad Boy back to the spot they so desperately sought after the loss of Biggie, is now takin' that trip up North for what, on paper, was reading as 10 full years.

Shyne goes up, and Diddy does as he promised and releases Shyne's first solo album to critical acclaim.

Pause... Some posts require some background music, and this, my dear friends, is one of them.



Press play before you move any further.

Shyne is the definition of Bad Boy. At the time of his arrest, Shyne had quite literally been, quote, unquote, "fuckin with" Puff for no more than a few months, but still sacked up and took the heat for Diddy's bitch ass to prove himself worthy of the throne that Biggie had left vacant some 2 years prior.

I'm gonna say this now and stand by it 'til the day I die, Shyne had the potential to be, excuse me for this, "That Nigga". I mean for real, for real. Shyne had it.

So now Shyne is hemmed up, troopin the bid like a loyal soldier.

The paparazzi caught Puff after the sentencing and asked him how he felt about the verdict...



Me too Puff, me fucking too.

This was all in 2000. In the years to follow, Shyne would remain silent behind the walls, never speakin out about the night in question, never givin up Puff and fingering him (no homo) as the man responsible, and how does Puff repay that debt?



naddagoodlook Puff...



The legacy that once housed the likes of Craig Mack, Black Rob, Notorious B.I.Fuckin G., The Lox, Junior Mafia, Lil Kim, etc. is now home to wack ass bullshit artists and cat-like motherfuckers like Que?

Oh hell nah Puff. Biggie is rollin in his grave every time Making The Band hits the airwaves.

Oh, and let's not forget the fact that Puff actually turned this hoe out:



(Quietly, on the low, yes I would.)

Where was I?

Oh right... Diddy is out here doin the Harlem Shuffle and building an empire all on the back and shoulders of Shyne's word as a man. It's the code of the street, it's the world I live in, "Snitches get Stitches", and Shyne never snitched. Not a word.



Let's just say, Shyne is out, and EVERY record label in the world better be offering up MILLIONS to my man.

I also firmly believe that Puffy needs to catch that realll ass whoopin' immediately. You can't pay back 10 years of someone's life, but you damn well better be comin correct with those "thanks for not snitchin" checks. I mean, I know Puff goes hard and strong arms these featherweight new-jack Making the Band types, but let me see you try that shit with Shyne Po. I'd give anything in the world to be in the building first time Shyne locks eyes with Diddy.

Don't think for one second that Shyne's rap game slacked at all, HELL NAH. If anything, my man is sharper than ever, I mean, bein locked up for 10 years with nothing but hatred in your heart and a brain full of thoughts, a man is bound and destined to produce one of the greatest albums Hip Hop has ever heard. Be checkin for that new Shyne album, whenever it drops.

Big ups to Shyne for being one of the last real soldiers in this bitch-ass infested world of hip hop.

Chuuurch.

-Ollie da Don

Big Hardcore Mean Azz Wyte Boi

Meet Young Cohod.



I recently got a friend request from your boi on myspace and I am quite literally blown away by this cat.

From Young Cohod’s "about me" section:

"I GREW UP IN HALEYVILLE ALABAMA LIVED HERE MOST OF MY LIFE. JUST A SOUTHERN ARTIST ON DA MOVE BOUNCING TO DA NEW GROVE IF YOU FEEL ME LET ME KNOW IF YOU DON'T I WILL HELP PUT U IN THE HOLE, WIT DA REST OF THEM HATERS!!!!!!!!!!"

Yep. That's the real deal right there. I do appreciate that he sites my main man Haystack as one of his biggest influences. If you aren't familiar with the greatness that is Haystack, let Ollie learn ya:



Yessir! Haystack turned his wedding video into a music video for his "hit single" "Bonnie & Clyde".

Enough about Haystack, back to Young Cohod. I can't find any embed or html codes to put his music up directly so do yourself a favor and go peep his Myspace Page RIGHT HERE. This kid is the definition of Hillbilly, country as all hell, inbred white-boy rap. It is so bad it almost feels like it's supposed to be comedy. I mean, this shit is just pure trash.

Do your thing Young Cohod, and please, for the love of all things holy, don't ever stop makin' these hits and "puttin these haters in a hole".

Ign'ant..

-Ollie the Scholar

Average Joe Hits the Jackpot

Look, I don't care who you are, there is no denying that my girl Kourtney Kardashian is the baddest of the Kardashian girls.



Or so was the case up until last week when it was revealed that the little sister to everyone's favorite backyard (that's Kim for the uninformed) went ahead and let some fuckin' nobody shoot an 8 roper** up in that womb and basically secure his personal financial stability for the next... oh I'ontknow, 18+ years.

**Shooting an 8 roper: Refering to the amount of ropes or ejaculatory "beads" one would be releasing from the sheer excitement of gettin to go raw in any, scratch that, either of the two HOT Kardashian sisters. Khloe, I see you girl, you're tryin, but doctors can't fix big. HAHA.**

So, just who is this average Joe to pull a Federline*?

** A Federline: I shouldn't have to explain this, but I will for the sake of literature. A.K.A. "The Come-up". Blast off in a super hot, ridiculously wealthy celeb and watch your bank account blow the fuck up. Man, on the low, I respect my man K-Fed's hustle more than anyone knows.

Let me introduce you to... (Record Scratch), We still don't even know dude's name?


("Yeah, she's with me.")

Are you kidding me? This fuckin' schlub ass darrel gets to go bareback?

Let me tell you another thing, judging by this picture:



If my man, we'll call him K-Federal 2.0, can hit Kourtney, All of us had a chance.

Another one bites the dust. But I will say this, if Momma Kardashian is any indication of these girl's ability to bounce back, I give a 48.7% chance that Kourtney will parlay that baby fat into a whole new world of thickness.

Why does Kourtney look so much more, how would I say this... "ethnic" than the other two??



Mailman's baby. You know momma was gettin her some cut on the sneaks. Papa Kardashian wasn't hittin that right, and I will guarandamntee you that ol' Brucey boy ain't diggin that out.

P.S. Khloe is a beast in these streets son. And not in the good way. She needs to invest in some flats and quit rockin them 6" stilletos, my girl is already duckin thru doorways in the club. HA.

-Olls

Danny Devito is a Menace

Am I the only person that watches "Always Sunny in Philadelphia"? I must be. Every time I mention it to someone there like "what the fuck are you talking about"?

I have to explain how genius Danny Devito's character is. As it turns out, it's not an act. This guy is the real deal mess he portrays on t.v.



Drinking beer at 8:00 a.m.? CHECK.

It's hard to make Charlie Day and Rob McElhenny uncomfortable, but Danny pulls it off flawlessly live on television.

Sir Devito just moved up 3 spots on my favorite people in the world list.

-Olls

Ninjas Killed My Family:

Yes, this photo is like 8 years old, I realize that. Yes, it was funny back then, but NO, that is not the reason I am posting it.

I was peeping The Arab Parrot this morning (as I typically do on Mondays) when I saw this:



I know what you're thinking: "That's the same guy"!

And I do believe you are correct.

The Parrot is in NYC and happened to catch a follow up of the "ninjas killed my family" guy and his new street hustle without even knowing it.

Man, this guy is a marketing genius. He's got fucking websites on his cardboard now.

I need to contact this dude and get some BAMA stickers on his signs. Maybe then I could get the reader count up from 6-8 to 11 or 12. HAHA.

I am straight blown away that my man is still hustling this hard in the streets on NYC.

-Ollie

Photobombing:

One of the BAMA's informants hipped me to this website this morning. Low brow laughing at other peoples misfortunes.

Peep some gems I picked off from the site:



Peep the gay gangsters. HAHA.



What the hell is that 3 year old doing in Fredrick's of Hollywood?



That guy...

thisisphotobomb.com Check it out. Pretty good stuff over there.

-Olls

Butteryass Mondays

I stumbled onto this video series on youtube last week. I have seriously watched at least 30 of the videos and have absolutely ZERO intention of stopping. My man "Butteryass Donovan" (Donovan Strain) is pure comedy on that hustle tip.

Peep game.







I really hope you did yourself a favor and watched all 3 of those videos. If you didnt get enough, go hit up homie's youtube channel HERE.

-Olls

Make It Rain On You Hoes

Oh my GOD. If this is real (i.e. not a joke/spoof) this could possibly be the best youtube video to date.

If you punished yourself and didn't watch the video all the way through, go back up and click play. Then go ahead and fast forward to about the 2:27 mark.


ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND CUT! We got it. No more takes. You completely nailed it that time.

You're welcome.

-Ollie

Awkward Moments: Chris Webber vs. Kenny Smith

I've been noticing this since the beginning of the playoffs but never really decided to mention it until now.

I have come to the conclusion that:

A. Chris Webber does not like Kenny Smith.

B. Chris Webber would put the O.G. official ass whoopin on ol' Ken-dog.

Peep some video evidence of CWebb's thoroughness right here...



Every time Cwebb hits him with the "c'mon man" you can see it in Kenny's eyes. Kenny doesn't know what my man Webber's gonna do. Is he fittin' to ack-a-fool, or is he gonna keep his composure for the sake of television? Cwebb is the wild card. HAHA.

The boys at Us Versus Them get credit for the photo, but here is the patended Chris Webber, "C'mon man" look...

.

I think Kenny Smith knows that Cwebb is a street cat on some Steve Harvey "don't let the suit fool you, i'm from the projects" type shit. I mean, Cwebb spent MAD years in the bay area gettin hyphy with the likes of Yukmouth and the Luniz.





And while this may very well be the most cat-ass smile I have ever seen, you can still see a glimmer of that crazy eye that Cwebb stays showin cats.

While I'm on the subject Chris Webber and Kenny Smith, what the fuck is up with that new telestrator bullshit toy TNT's got him (Kenny Smith) playin' with. That shit is wack. Biggest waste of time in the history of televised sports analysis.

I just spent 20 minutes lookin' for video of that stupid machine he's using and came up completely dry. If anyone finds it, give me a shout. nickelplatedbama@gmail.com.

Bottom line: Chris Webber is from the "Charles Barkley, hold no punches, kick 'em when they're down" school of philosophy and I can get behind that (no homo).

-Ollie the Analyst

New Makeshift Ft. Piff Herrera - Fresh Kut

Makeshift Ft. Piff Herrera – Fresh Kut

Click that shit to download.

Knock Knock son. Makeshift strikes again.

I sure hope the rest of the rap world catches up at some point.

-Ollie

Is Tupac Still Alive??

These photos recently hit the blogosphere via TMZ and, well...









Is Tupac still roamin' the streets incognito? The thing that's gettin' me is that no one else in the room is buggin' out on Tupac just kickin' it at the bar when he has been dead for like 13 years.

What does the BAMA faithful think? Is that Tupac?

WOW: Best (Worst?) T.V. Edit Ever

Caught this over at Film Drunk, and well, just press play.



"I am so sick and tired of these monkey fighting snakes on this monday to friday plane"...

Wow. I am... just... wow.



That says it all.

For the record, the t.v. editors at U.S.A. are better.

-Ollie

P.S. Sam Jackson is a serious Bad Ass Mother Fucker.

New Makeshift: The No Doze Mixtape

Seriously, is there any wonder why this cat is my favorite rapper doin' it right now? Straight killin' em.

The No Doze Mixtape will be available exclusively on nickelplatedbama sometime in the next few weeks for COMPLETELY FREE download.

I will say this now, and every day until the mixtape drops: DO NOT SLEEP!!!!

Makeshift is killin you fools.

Catch Makeshift Here
Catch Makeshift Here
Catch Makeshift Here

-Ollie

Track Chad:

Meet my cousin/personal bodyguard Chad.



Chad is an on air radio personality for a locally broadcasted country music station.

The basic story goes like this:

February 1, 2009 Chad weighed in at 346 pounds.

He was challenged by the radio station to lose 60 pounds in 6 months. The station provided him with a personal trainer, nutritionist, gym membership, etc.

As of today, March 20, 2009 Chad has lost an amazing 29 pounds in a little more than 6 weeks.

I am very, VERY proud of my man for steppin up to the plate and making the commitment to get healthy and get right for the summer.

Go check his blog and show some support to my cousin for what he's tryin to do.

Track Chad Here

Big ups Chaddy. DO WORK SON!!

-Ollie

The Greatest Rapper Of All Time Died On March 9th?

I don't neccessarily agree with the general concensus that Biggie was the greatest rapper of all time, but he definitely did his thing. It was 12 years ago today that Biggie Smalls, a.k.a. The Notorious B.I.G., a.k.a. The Black Frank White, a.k.a. Big Poppa, etc. was gunned down in cold blood.

To this day, the murder remains unsolved. This little fact always urked me a little. Biggie and Tupac were both murdered within a year of each other and both murders are still open investigations.

Conspiracy? I am a big conspiracy buff. And I've watched the documentaries about both of these cats' murders. I'll say this: personally I can see where people would get the idea that these homicides remain unsolved for reasons other than a lack of evidence. These are two crimes that will never be solved because the people behind the curtains pullin' the strings don't want them to be solved.

Whatever it is, R.I.P. Biggie Smalls. May 21, 1972 – March 9, 1997.



-Ollie

Ric Flair Turns 60!

Talk about Throwin' it back. Yesterday (February 25, 2009) was Ric Flair's 60th birthday.

How classic is this guy? Last week I was on the Mr. Perfect kick, but I gotta admit, Ric Flair is as, if not more important to wrestling than Hulk Hogan (who I was never really a fan of, for the record). Seriously, this guy started his career sometime in the early 70's and was still wrestling as recently as 2008. This guy is as classic as you can get.

And what about the rhetoric he was kickin?



HAHAHAHA! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Can anyone deny the parallels between wrestling and hip hop? Flair was kickin' that "custom shoes, money, cars, hoes" shit back before Sugar Hill Gang ever thought about droppin' "Rapper's Delight" and paving the way for today's money-crazed emcee. Think about it, Ric Flair created your favorite rapper's "swagger".



That may very well be the greatest interview ever conducted in the history of wrestling. EVER. How many woooo's did he hit there? Jesus.

I'm gonna stop here because I could literally write all day about how dope the Nature Boy Ric Flair was/is.

-Ollie

Throwback Thursday: Mr. Perfect

You know how some things just require background music? Well this is one of those times. Press play before reading on...



Fact: I was obsessed with WWF wrestling from 1989-1993 and then for a little while roundabout 1996 when the N.W.O. angle kicked in.

Fact: I have gone on record on more than one occasion and claimed Bret "The Hitman" Hart as my all time favorite wrestler in the history of the WWF. That is 100% true. I will never deny that. EVER.

Fact: Except for a select few, I almost always root for the bad guy. The villain. The guy that sticks his hand out for you to slap and then pulls the "too slow" move on you. The dick. The heel.

Fact: Mr. Perfect was the all time greatest "bad guy" in WWF history.

Lets run down the credentials...

The "Perfect" entrance music? Check.

Swagger? Check.

Bravado? Check.

Best name ever? Check.

Ties to goons and "bad" guys? Check.

Intercontinental champion? Check.

Coached by Bobby "The Brain" Heenan? Check.

Awesome finishing move? Check.

This guy had some of the best rhetoric of all time. I have spent half of my day looking for classic Mr. Perfect moment's on youtube and can't seem to locate the stuff I wanted to show. But I did find this video from like '99 where he cheats at chess. Just classic asshole behavior from THE classic asshole.



Man this guy was a goon. I just love how everything he did was "perfect". He did that ill entrance move where he threw the towel behind his back and caught it. He would spit his gum in the air and then slap it into the crowd (SO ICEY). I wonder if he ever even considered that the gum could get stuck in someones hair? Or for that matter if he even cared enough to wonder? I am convinced, to this day, that Mr. Perfect was the exact same person out of the ring as in, just a straight up, good old fashioned asshole.

He was great. R.I.P. Mr. Perfect

-Ollie