Fucking White People...

I'm taking the rest of the week off. Enjoy the holidays you gluttonous fucks.

-Ollie

Impromptu Photo Shoot

Last friday I was sittin' at the office staring out the window when I spotted this:



Let's zoom in for a closer look:



In honor of Reez at thegluttony.com I asked myself "Dead or Asleep". In fact, I sent the photos over to Reez to be featured on the site but he didn't post 'em or get back to me so, snooze ya lose, now I'm gonna throw em up here. I digress...

Apparently, the fire department and some concerned citizens decided to ask themselves the same question as they approached homegirl to find out if she was still alive...



After approx. 10 minutes of kicking and nudging her, they finally got some signs of life as ol' girl stirred herself:



The firemen left:



So she went back to sleep:



Classic. I love my job for reasons like this. Working downtown I get to see all kinds of wild ass people doing wild ass shit in the streets.

-Olls

The biggest little city in the world

Lots of stories, waiting for photos to be uploaded (cant find my usb cord), will definitely have a full recap of the Reno adventure as soon as the photos are ready.

Some quick highlights:

Ollie throws 38 cents at punk ass go-go dancer.

Ollie runs $40 bones up to $350 in a matter of minutes in a craps game only to lose it all back in record time.

Ollie convinces security guard that he's famous and gets photo op.

Ollie goes 0 for 5 on NFL picks with one push.

Santa Clause(s) run wild in Reno, I dont have my camera and miss what was probably one of the best photo opportunities of all time.

10 hour drive home through snow, ice, sleet, rain, hail, and even a little bit of fog. Seriously, I cant script this shit.

On a different note, my chick is flyer than your chick.

-Ollie the world renowned traveler

UFC has become predictable and Joe Rogan still sucks

Despite my passionate and well-documented hatred for Joe Rogan, (CLICK HERE if you are not familiar) like most of America I was unable to avoid watching the Randy Couture VS. Brock Lesnar fight on Saturday night.

Now granted, I was way too drunk for my own, or anyone elses for that matter's safety, but i chose to make the journey over to the homie's house to watch this fight, in hopes that:

A) Joe Rogan had contracted West Nile Virus and was dying a slow painful death on fight night so i would be able to watch the fight without hearing his slobbery drunk/coked the fuck out annoying ass voice...

and B) The fight wouldnt be another Kimbo sham and the better/more experienced fighter would win the fight.

Complete and utter disappoint struck me when neither of the above stated scenarios played out, add to that that i had been drinking hard for about 6 hours straight and maybe now you can guess why my chick slapped me...

Moving on, everyone i know thought that Couture was gonna mop up big Brock and that was gonna be that and on paper, thats about how it should have went.

Can we please get this shit straight right now, Brock Lesnar walks around every day of the year (except for weigh-ins) at easily 285+, he had to cut something like 30 pounds to make weight for this fight and looks like this:



Hes matched up against the more experienced fighter in Randy Couture:



Randy is givin up close to 60 pounds, 6-8 inches, and 14 years in age, I think it was safe to say that experience would not trump size, ability, and youth in this fight.

So after Randy woke up from the slumber that he was put into in the second round, did anyone else notice that the ref let Brock pummel Randy's head an inordinate amount of time longer than anyone else has ever been beat on? if you didnt here's the full fight in its entirety:



Now to the point of the title, the predictabilty of the UFC. Brock Lesnar has had what, 4 professional UFC fights and is now the heavyweight champion?? Isnt that just about the exact same thing that happened when he came into the WWE?? He's this huge intimidating overly-dominant specimen that MUST be the face of the WWE/UFC... I can think of like 4 other heavyweights off the top of my head (and im not even a fan of UFC) that were more deserving of a title shot... And dont, for one second, think that Dana White didn't set this fight up as a means to embarass Randy Couture. Randy is 45 and past his prime, it was time for the belt to change hands so they put him up against a guy that would either A) pummel his ass (see: thats what happened) or B) make him (Randy Couture) look like the baddest man on the planet when he beat him and allow for Randy to retire and give up the belt either way...

It sucks for Randy that it was the latter scenario because him, Ken Shamrock, and Chuck Liddel built the UFC and now they are all has-been's that shouldnt, but probably will, fight again.

Oh yeah, Joe Rogan, don't think i didnt notice that you've been up for the last 3 days on a coke binge... Vegas is your town homie, and once again you proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are indeed the biggest fuckin tool on the planet.

-Ollie the macho man Savage

Nahbutfarildo...

The extremely overhyped fight between Kimbo and Ken Shamrock goes down in flames as EliteXC basically lost any chance they had at rivaling UFC. This sucks for me because in general i like fights.

Early 90's pre-WWE, WWF wrestling, check.
UFC without Joe Rogan, check. (sidenote, if you havent yet, you should prolly read my post on why i hate Joe Rogan.)
Boxing, before the death of the heavyweight bout, check...
videos of Kimbo beating the livin shit outta brothas on the block on youtube, check.

So when eliteXC comes out and is toutin Kimbo as there mainliner, i was reaaaaaalll excited. Kimbo is just a mean muhfucka out there in the streets, but the cold hard truth of the matter is just that, hes mean in the streets.

So after watching my CUBS get bitch-slapped for the second straight post-season sweep against the NL west, i needed to see Kimbo beat up on someone.

The channel gets changed and we see that not only is Ken Shamrock unable to fight, but this guy:

yeah that guy, is going to be his stand-in. Even better, i think. Now Kimbo is really just gonna punch this dudes head right off of his shoulders.

Ding Ding... 14 seconds later Kimbo is layed out like he just got tased up, screamin bout how the party's still poppin.

OH HELL NAH!!! Kimbo, you supposed to be the baddest muhfucka out chea, and you get slept by a ultimate fighter contestant. Say it aint so. I guess its back to UFC on mute cause Joe Rogan is that bad.

- Ollie