A Few Quick Updates:

Remember back in January I told everyone I would not be apologizing for anything else in 2009?

Well, that was only like 90% true.

Here's the scoop:

Yesterday I lost my job, and since I have limited publishing ability outside of my office, the updates are going to be taking place later in the day.

The good news is, this is only going to be an issue for about a week or so. I got the laptop being worked on as we speak and should have it back at fighting weight by the first of next week.

So, I am going to take the leap to try and monetize the site to see if I can't make some money from this stupid blogger gig.

I feel like I get enough people telling me how funny my shit is, but ultimately, this blog remains pretty local.

So what I am asking the readers of the site to do is simple. TELL SOME MOTHERFUCKERS TO CHECK THIS SHIT OUT 10 TIMES A DAY EVERYDAY.

If I can somehow parlay my smooth tongue into reasonable income I won't be seeking employment.

If I can't draw a check from this blog, then I will probably just have to axe the idea of daily updates and go the route of so many other blogs out there and just fade away.

That would be a shame considering the amount of work and time I've put in to this thing. The money I've invested in stickers, and logo designs that will ultimately turn into t-shirts.

The plan of attack for the next 6 weeks:

-Paint, ALOT. Then sale said paintings. Got some pretty hard shit I've been working on and will post some photos and prices soon.

-Monetize the site. As much as I would like to keep the blog ad free, it's just not an option. The kid's gotta eat.

-Print the NickelPlatedBama t-shirts. Going to do a limited run, and depending on the cost to produce, they should resell for no more than 18 bones. Prolly more like 15 though. If you definitely want a shirt, shoot a comment or an e-mail and let me know.

-Do alot of drugs/drink in excess.

-Take a lot of photos.

-Get started on the mixtape series I've been promising since day one.

It's a good thing TBC loves me and has a good job, otherwise I don't know how I would support all of my horrible habits.

Still have videos/photos from the Draft Klick show. I'll do my best to have some new posts up this afternoon.

Check back, all day, every day. Tell 2 friends to tell 2 friends to tell 2 friends.

The BAMA needs your help.

P.S. To everyone who is friends with Ollie or NPB on myspace that didn't repost the bulletin I asked you to repost. Go Fuck Yourself.

Big shout out to the young homie Noah for being official. The kid's got a firm grasp on the world at age 18. I wish I had my head on my shoulders the way he does at 18.

Back later (if i can find a computer).

-Ollie

Valentine's Day: Why?

Being the ice-cold, self-absorbed sonofabitch that I am, it would be reasonable to assume that I am not a fan of this made-up ass holiday.



I don't hate it for the same reasons that most of the bloggers out there do. What reason is that?

They are fucking dorks with no social or romantic life to speak of. Of course they hate the day "for lovers".

I hate it because I have to do something I wouldn't normally do, i.e. be greatful for having a chick and do nice shit for TBC all day.

HAHA, no I'm kidding. TBC knows where she stands with me (10 feet behind me at all times).

This is the day that dudes dread. I mean, if you have a chick and have had her crowned for a while then you're already beatin the skins, and you have gotten comfortable enough with your girl that you don't feel you should have to "do something amazing" in order to keep her locked up. WRONG.

If your chick tells you "it's not a big deal" you are FUCKED.

Heart shaped pizza, a little cut-up, and some LOST sounds great to me. BUT NO, I have to make dinner reservations, then I have to get a card expressing romantic sentiment, then there's the chocolate, and the flowers, and all that other horse shit.

Aren't we in a recession?

Be happy with what you get. AND THAT GOES OUT TO ALL THE FEMALES IN THE WORLD.

TBC, my little peach, always remember:


(For the record, thats not my nutbag...)

Fuck this holiday. I am starting a petition for "National Guy's Day Off". More on that mission later.

New Years Resolution... Only 5 Days Late

First of all, let me make my last apology for 2009 right now. Yeah I said it, I will not apologize again to anyone for the rest of this year. Why you might ask? Well, to be completely honest, I dont feel that I will be wrong about anything, and secondly, if I am wrong, I don't care enough about you to apologize for it.

Back to the apology, Why? Well, when the holidays rolled around I really got lazy. I was not puttin in work the way I had promised you folks early on in the career of young Ollie. That shit is over with now. I am 100% back on my grind. I will be a posting machine, I will make the mixtape i promised, I will clown on more idiots than ever before, I will take more pictures to document the adventures of Ollie, I will post more bad bitches, and I will cheer for my teams like never before. That my friends, is a new years resolution. None of this "I will lose 10 pounds", or "I'll quit smoking" (already did that by the way) bombaclot bullshit, NickelPlatedBama is doing it bigger than cigarettes in 2009. Get down with the get down.

Speaking of cheering for my teams... The mighty Lightning Bolts (or as you may know them, the Chargers) took the M.V.P. havin ass Colts right out the playoffs.



The score, 23-17 (overtime finish) is very, VERY misleading. Lets get it straight right now, the Chargers absolutely stomped the Colts. The defense was SHUT DOWN. Punting... well lets just say Mike Scifres earned an M.V.P. vote from me for his SPECTACULAR display of punting prowess on Saturday. Dude had like 5 punts that pinned the Colts inside their own 5 yard line. Do you realize how ill that is? The Chargers held the M.V.P. scoreless, and to less than 100 yards in the second half. Hell, if it wasnt for the one big pass to Reggie Wayne in the first half, the Colts wouldnt have scored more than 10 points all game.

Darren Sproles, the other M.V.P. of Saturday night's game walked all over the Colts defense...




Bob Sanders was seein a whole lot of the back of Big D's jersey that night.

Phillip Rivers showed up and played a mediocre game, but showed some serious heart when he tucked the ball for a run on a long 3rd and 9...



In fact, this game never should have went to overtime. If it wasn't for a goal line fumble by game M.V.P. Darren Sproles, the Lightning Bolt Hopeful wouldn't have had a worry in the world.

Moral of the story? The Chargers are, without a doubt, the hottest team in the NFL right now. The defense is coming on strong, the running game with Sproles, Hester, and occasionally Tomlinson is stronger than ever. We have the ability to run the table here. Next stop, Pittsburgh. Big Ben is gonna get what hes got coming and things are only lookin up from here.

In other NFL news I was 3/4 on my picks this weekend. I thought Atlanta should have creamed Arizona, but what can I say? Rookie quarterback meet Veteran.

Predictions for divisional round playoffs...

Arizona loses to Carolina.

The Eagles get mopped by a resurging New York Giants team.

The Chargers do what they do and whoop that ass in Pittsburgh.

Baltimore pulls out an upset against the Titans.

-Ollie is back

Allow me to (re)introduce myself:

Oliver Wrist interviews Oliver Wrist part 1:

(OW) Whats your name??

(OW) -My name is Oliver Wrist a.k.a. Ollie the kid, Ollie the dondada, Allover Wrist, Allofher Wrist, Ollie the Maverick, Ollie the Don King of Blogging, etc. etc. I am also one half of the world's greatest (or worst?) dj duo "the fingersmiths" with my partner/brother Fuzzy Badfeet a.k.a. Young Smalls.

What do you do?

-Im just a regular guy with irregular skill.

What are your "skills"?

-google search ninja, pointing out peoples inherent flaws, bad jokes, incredible timing, creative wordplay, non-conformist, self appointed critic of all things wordly, ice cold chauvinism, beer consumption, tomfoolery, general asshole behavior, etc.

What seperates you from other bloggers??

-This blog revolves around me and my take on the world. I spend countless hours searching the internet to bring the loyal readers (all 6 of you) the best/most useless stuff out there on the web. I dont fill any niche's in the blog world, because my topics range from early '90's bay area rap, to why John McCain was my choice for President, to WWF wrestling, to videos of people actin a fool, to critiquing other websites, to shameless self promotion, to why i hate Joe Rogan, and beyond! This blog is/should be everyone's source for daily news because i only report things that are truly important (in my opinion anyway, which we all know is the only opinion that matters) to me.

Why are you so great?

-I have an overwhelming amount of self confidence. I am never under any deadlines so what i write about comes off relaxed. I have a day job so this blog doesnt make or break me...

Coke or Pepsi?

-Coke normally, but now im off the caffeine so im drinkin caffeine free pepsi.

Whats for dinner?

-Steak and Potatos if i have my choice.

Why the Cubs?

-Its a long story. I'll sum it up. My uncle + WGN + my whole life = Cubs fan. If you dont understand, let me put it another way. When i was young and would stay over at my cousins crib, my uncle would always watch the Cubs games. I asked why? one time and he said that it was either the Cubs (WGN) or the Braves (TBS) being televised. You could always see the Cubs on TV, so ive been ridin ever since.

Does everyone think youre an asshole?

-My mom doesn't, she knows. LOL.

Did you ever think you would be a blogger/why did you start blogging??

-No...I work a desk job and spend about 70% of my day cruisin the interweb. I started reading some other folks' blogs and realized that what they were doin wasnt hard. So, with my effortless delivery of words, and my well-etched brand of humor i thought i could easily develop a following, create a market for myself and start getting paid to do what i would normally be doing anyways (i.e. makin fun of folks, watching youtube videos, finding funny news stories, scopin bad bitches, etc.)

Are you making any money yet?

-Well that all depends on how you look at it.. I get paid an hourly wage to be at this desk, but while at this desk i create/update/maintain this blog, so i guess you could say im getting paid to blog. LOL.
Nah but seriously though, if you people would get more involved and interact (see: leave comments) and stop by 10-20 times a day i could prolly parlay this blog into some cash to buy my chick some furs and myself some gators. Help a player out and support your boy!!!

Whats in store for the future?

-I'd like to press on with the BAMA, expand the content, include some new/other contributors, campaign for world domination, maybe some t-shirts for any fans out there..

Where else can people find you?

- NICKELPLATEDBAMA is on myspace Just click and add NPB on myspace, and if youre lucky i'll add you to my personal page Ollie da don.

Any shoutouts?

Yeah, big shouts to all the bad females that have been featured here as BBOTD, shout to my chick for puttin up with all of my bullshit everyday, AN EXTRA LARGE shout out to ANYONE that does stupid shit and has the good sense to film it and post it up for my viewing pleasure, my brother, my peoples, and the legions of fans (all 8 of you).. Kyle, Brandon, i see you muhfuckas. Quit lurkin and start participating.

-Ollie the journalist

Election Day: get your game face on

Tomorrow is it folks. The end of the line for this almost 2 year long battle for the white house. If the polls are any indication, Barack has already won before any votes are even counted. Don't let that stop you from getting out there to vote though. I can personally name 10 CLOSE FRIENDS that arent even registered to vote and who honestly dont give a shit one way or another. On top of that, i have a couple other heavily opinionated friends (on both sides of this political coin) who wont be casting a vote either. This is sickening. All i can say is this, DO NOT MAKE A SINGLE COMPLAINT ABOUT THE WAR, ECONOMY, THE PRESIDENT, THE TAXES, THE LACK OF JOBS, OR THIS COUNTRY BECOMING SOCIALIST if you didnt cast a vote.

Besides alllllladat, there are several props that are VERY important for California voters that you punks need to vote on as well.

Every day of my life, i find myself becoming more and more liberal and it's driving me nuts. It's not my fault though, the Republican agenda has become one of ultra conservative christian values that i for one do not share with my party.

Take abortion for instance, in this day and age, Abortion as an option is a must. PERIOD. There are far too many tweenage mothers (i saw 2 15 year old or younger mothers in the doctors office last time i was there), NO 15 year old needs to be having a child, they cant even vote, buy cigarettes, gamble, or even get married...

Which leads me to my next point, I am furious with the stance ultra right wing conservatives have taken on prop 8.

"Restore Traditional Marriage"! Are you serious? At what point was traditional marriage ever broken down that it would now require restoration?? Who cares if gay folks want to be married? I couldnt care less if the gays want to get married, why shouldnt they have the right to SUFFER (haha) through the trials and tribulations of marriage like the rest of the straight world? And as for that whole "teaching marriage in school" rhetoric, PLEASE STOP IT. I went to school, Kindergarten through 12, even some college, and i dont remember it ever being a staple of ANY curriculum to teach children about marriage. The only thing i can think of is the push for marriage between 2 people who love eachother and want to spend their lives together.

For a christian based party whose founding principals are forgiveness and acceptance, (see: accept Jesus, and he will forgive you) you sure are a judgemental and unforgiving group of people with alot of concern for other peoples choice of lifestyle.

As for the rest of the props, they are important but not enough for me to go through them again, but if you want a run down you can always go ahead and CLICK HERE.

Please believe the rhetoric being spouted about this being "THE MOST IMPORTANT ELECTION OF OUR LIVES". It is very true for BOTH political parties.

As a conservative voter, concerned with self preservation, and a FIRM BELIEVER in SELF SUFFICIENCY, i really do not want to be held responsible for keepin the slackers and non contributing members of our society supplied with food. Look, ive been broke, but i never went to the government lookin for handouts, i know folks on Welfare, and they arent abusing the system, they are working and contributing to the welfare system they are drawing from.

Think of it like this, would you expect to recieve social security if you had never put a dime into the social security system??? If you would, then thats where you and I will differ.

To each their own, but just remember, if you vote for Obama you have to see this everyday:



God, my hatred for him just grows everytime i see that smug ass face of his.

GO VOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Ollie the maverick radical

Since I only worked half a day today

youre only getting half a day's worth of blogging, but do not fret, i will be back tomorrow with LOTS of new stuff that is sure to keep you clickin that down arrow. BE SURE to stop by...

In other news, i will be launching a myspace for the site in the next few days, ill post a link and ADD EVERYONE, so be sure to get up on that.

-Oliver the great

hate hatin is a habit get like me!

With all the hating ive been doing lately i decided it was time to get back to the roots of this blog and bless the readers with a refresher course on the "BBOTD".





















Just a little love for the fellas on a friday afternoon. Your favorite blogger is hittin the road, catch all ya'll back here on Monday.

Lets get a Chargers win this weekend so i have something happy to write about on Monday.

-Ollie in a class of his own.

PSA: Stop lurking and start participating

Lurker (as defined by Oliver Wrist): Someone who consistently takes the time out to read this (or any other) blog everyday yet never has 30 seconds to throw down a comment and let your boy know if youre feelin the site.

Look, anyone who knows me knows 2 things for certain, 1) im a straight up asshole and 2) i require attention constantly.

So heres where im going with this, im fairly certain that there is a pretty solid base of daily readers and if im ever going to get anything more than personal satisfaction (see: money) from this site you people are gonna have to start lending a hand...

In simple terms, advertisers pay by # of daily hits or feedback from readers... So please, take a second, write some kind words, argue with me, write a funny post and join the nickelplatedbama team, whatever it is that floats your boat but participate god damnit.

I need you folks to comment so i can know how im doing in the daily view statistics. Get on the bus, help your favorite blogger out, and do whats right, STOP being lazy.

I DO THIS FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, so do this for me. Thanks.

P.S. if you tried to comment before and were unable to due to the fact that you werent a google account holder, that problem has been remedied. Start talking..

P.S.S.--
Oliver may be lookin for some guest bloggers to start writing text and pushing this site forward to become more than just a couple of laughs a day... in other words i need an unpaid intern to write funny shit for me and allow me to take credit, feel free to apply via comment on this or any other post.

-Ollie needs that guap

MISSION STATEMENT

day 1.
My only goals here are to illustrate daily things that:
A) Frustrate me
B) Allow me to laugh at other people's misfortunes via video/photo
C) Highlight the amazingness that is the female anatomy (namely video ho's, thick white chicks, etc.)
D) Let muhfucka's know how i feel about the ridiculous shit celebrities and general everyday idiots get away with.
E) Put muhfucka's onto whats on the plates (records on the turntables)
F) Explain why Joe Rogan is the world's biggest waste of space/time/energy
G) Give my colorful insight on movies new and old (will create the list of the 100 movies everyman should not only see, but also own in their personal library)
H) Keep muhfucka's fresh on the latest gear/kicks
I) Give explicit opinions on the current state of American politics
J)Keep muhfucka's informed on sports (namely teams i care about, i.e. Chicago Cubs, San Diego Chargers)

In summation, i fully intend to provide a good source of daily laughter by jackin shit from everybody else's websites (see: youtube) and posting it here with witty and overly opinionated commentary from a biased, utterly self absorbed, anti-social asshole with a real big chip on his shoulder for all things idiotic.

....enjoy...