My Favorite Kid Ever:

How pumped is he right now?

I've seen these pics, as I'm sure the rest of you have and homegirl is straight up AVERAGE at best. If she wasn't a "celebrity", no one would even be trippin. Seen alot of girls naked in my time, and trust in your boy, she ain't even top 20.

With all that said, my little asian homie is officially NPB icicle status. Keep grindin'...

-Olls

Awwww Damn...

Wow. Just, Wow.

Hold Me Closer Tiny Dancer

Is this who Elton John was talking about in the classic '70's love ballad "Tiny Dancer" that was made famous by everyone's favorite awful movie "Almost Famous"?? Man that movie sucks. It just kills me you know it? I watch it every time it is on the tube and always end up asking myself, Why? Why Olls did you subject yourself to this train wreck. There was a time when I used to think that Kate Hudson was the business back in my younger years, well before I learned about the benefits of the thick white chick and the power moves they were making to take over the internet, er WORLD!!

Anyways, Sorry. This post has nothing to do with "Almost Famous", but I got a little sidetracked. I just hate the fact that that movie has the power to suck me in the way it does. I'll prolly end up watching it this weekend now, because for some strange, unexplainable reason, I do indeed own that piece of shit on DVD and VHS...

Moving on, peace to Brock and Lake over at Us Versus Them for gettin' the drop on this amazing little piece of video magic...



Wow. Just, WOW player.

Did you watch that? Please tell me you did and didn't just skip over for the commentary...

A few quick thoughts...

She has to be aware of the irony of the song she chose right? I mean, I really don't want to have to explain the hillarity of "Shorty gettin low", cause she is damn near sweepin' the flo' wit' it just by dippin'... HA.

Why in god's name is this video 4 minutes long? I mean, I appreciate the effort, 4 minutes of steady cuttin rug is tiring, but on the reals, homegirl was only really workin with about 3 actual moves that just got looped and interwoven in different combinations to create this cinematic masterpiece.

I KNOW I'm a pervert now (whereas before I just kind of assumed it), it's official, because the whole time she was dancin' all I could think was, "Damn, she's got the fat ass"... HAHA. Savage.

I really want a little person as my sidekick. Preferably an aggressive alcohol abuser with no morals or shame to compliment my oh-so-endearing "i hate everyone" approach to life.

Get it low "Shawwwwwty"... We ain't mad.

-Uncle Ollie

Keep That Pussy On A Leash

Yep, those are real, and you can Buy Em Right Here.

HAHA.

Peace to Ignored Prayers for being the coolest blog on the planet. EVER.

And while I'm feelin extra perverted, What number do you prefer??



Stay classy internet. Stay classy.

-Uncle Ollie strikes again

Don't Piss There!!

I love .gif's.

You take some random video footage of a girl pissin' in the streets and an old man kickin her hard as fuck in the ass, and loop that shit to come up with this awesome little rectangle of joy.

And peace to that old man son, that kick and grill was icier than Ike Turner and Bobby Brown put together.

Go hard.

I really love the internet.

-Olls

R.I.P. Billy Mays

Peace to Ignored Prayers for the flick.

-Ollser

Fred Works Out

Damn son. TBC was bullshittin on youtube on Saturday morning and found this video.

Holy smokes. The view count on this video is over 1.2 million in 3 days.

I don't know what the fuck the world sees in this kid but damn if he isn't winning in the views department.

Some of his other videos have over 6 million views.

Really humbles me. I mean, here I am writing this amazing blog, giving the world every bit of news they could EVER possibly need and my total views doesnt touch single hour's worth of hits for this little maggot Fred.

Bitter hatred. Fred must die.

-Sourpuss Ollie

The Kids Reactions

I have watched this video 37 times now. That ramp is crazy sturdy!!

-Olls

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Damn, homey got so played out. He's straight sleepin son.

P.S. did you hear all those bones break? My God.

-Ollie

The Verdict on Drake:

Let me start by saying that I STILL watch the television show Degrassi, so when I heard that little wheelchair Jimmy Brooks was the hottest thing buzzin on the net, you can imagine my skepticism.



All I wanted was to know that this cat Drake was all hype. I wanted him to be mediocre at best with a buzz because of his ties to Young Money and Lil Weezy.

I mean, anyone with any common sense would assume that just because this kid:



updated his look to this:



it doesnt mean that he is worth a shit right?

I mean seriously, NO FUCKING WAY is "Jimmy Brooks" that muufucka out here.

There is no way possible right? RIGHT?

Wrong. I heard this...


(DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND STOP THE TRACK AT ABOUT 2:38 BECAUSE IT IS COMPLETELY RUINED BY WEEZY'S RIDICULOUSLY ANNOYING GIGGLE-RIDDEN STUTTERED OUT BULLSHIT RAP)

...and I am convinced. This kid has something. I don't know if it is Drake that is ghostwriting for Weezy or vice-versa, but I do know that something is fishy here. These cats are far too similar in delivery, flow, wordplay etc. to not be writing for one another.

I am not going to co-sign Drake entirely, but if this kid's album is even half as good as the streets (internet) are claiming, the kid has a bright future.

Here's the drawback on Drake tho...

He has absolutely ZERO street cred and as we all know, the hip hop industry is completely fueled by a rapper's ties to the streets.

Young Drake here is straight out the mean streets of the Toronto suburbs. He has been swimming in white girls since he was like 12 at Degrassi High School. He got shot on the show by the biggest dork ever cast on television...


(Fuckin Rick the girlfriend beater and high school shooter) LOL...

So I'm sayin this and moving on, as long as Drake stays in his lane and continues being a good rapper/singer and stays out of the trafficing of the white girl (no Degrassi) I think he'll be fine.

He's got a bright future from where I'm sittin'.

-Olls

Photobombing:

One of the BAMA's informants hipped me to this website this morning. Low brow laughing at other peoples misfortunes.

Peep some gems I picked off from the site:



Peep the gay gangsters. HAHA.



What the hell is that 3 year old doing in Fredrick's of Hollywood?



That guy...

thisisphotobomb.com Check it out. Pretty good stuff over there.

-Olls