This blog is still the greatest blog on the planet.
Oliver Wrist is still your favorite asshole.
My game is still tighter than yours.
My life is still better than yours.
Your mother still loves me more than you, and so does your girl.
I still have overly opinionated witty banter to spew at you insignificant fucks, I just haven't had the time or patience, OR desire for that matter, to do so.
I will be back with a vengeance starting next Monday, April 19, 2010. Mark that shit on your calendars.
Oh yeah, if you did me wrong in any way in the last, i dunno, sayyyyyyy 6-8 months, watch the fuck out, cause you will be getting blasted by name until such time as I feel that you have repayed your debt to society (or in this case, ME).
Oliver loves you, except for you, you, you, and you. YOU know who you are, you simple minded fucks.
All the love,
-Olls the menace
Showing posts with label The Scoop. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Scoop. Show all posts
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Monday, August 10, 2009
The World According to Ollie:
Fair warning: This post will not consist of many photos. In fact, there probably won't be any at all. To tell the truth, this is going to be a long, drawn out series of words strung together with no real direction or general theme. Things on my mind, shit i hate, where I've been, why I haven't been posting, all of that will be discussed...
Now.
1. Where have you been?
There is no real answer to that question. I've been in one of the following three places:
1. My bed. Tempurpedic mattress top is better than sex. I've been logging some serious hours in my bed. More than I ever have previously in my life. The dungeon that I dwell in is now more affectionately being refered to as simply, "The Cave". But why young Ollie da boss tycoon? Why have you been spending so much time in your beloved bed? Because, fuck it, that's why.
** Side note ** After heavy deliberation and discussion with the few people in the world whose opinion's matter to me, I have decided to be fully open and honest about my current status in the world. TBC and YBO (that's "your boy ollie" for the uninitiated) decided to take some time off. Most of my drive to write came from the overwhelming confidence I drew from being in a monogomous relationship, but once that got cashed in, I've kinda been a little less driven to write, and even less egotistical than normal... That's all I am going to say about that...
2. Work. I am here roughly 10% more than I am in my bed. This is a great job, but in all seriousness, I really just want to fuckin hate it. It's mundane. It's repetitive. It's boring and unfulfilling. But it's awesome. What other job in the world would allow me as much internet time as I get, and pay me a decent wage, keep the A/C at a very unreasonable 70 degrees all day, and kick down with health insurance and not drug test? Answer: Very few. So as much as I want to just up and walk out of this place just to stir some shit up and break up the day a bit, I don't cause I would be a fucking moron to leave this gig. Seriously.
3. Lurking at your favorite girl's pad. Self explanatory and completely fabricated, but to say that I have been spending all of my time in bed or at work would be too depressing, even for the most bitter of haters.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shit I hate: Fucking Everything.
Yep. I still fucking hate everything. Anything that brings you joy, brings me down. I want to punch your stupid child in the face. I want to step on your kittens. I want to snatch the life right out of your self entitled body..
I still love puppies tho..
Back to the hate...
1. I FUCKING HATE drunk people when I'm not drinking. Man, there is literally NOTHING worse than slobbering idiots hangin and drooling all over me when I haven't had any libations and you motherfuckers want to carry on some sort of intelligent conversation with me. Let's get real, you are stupid to begin with, the booze does not help this. In fact, it makes you even less my equal. I already dislike you, don't force me to punch you in the nose to prove my point. Back the fuck up. What part of the brain sends out the message to your body that requires you to be 7 times louder than normal, and 10 times closer to me to talk? BACK THE FUCK UP. I can't take this shit.
2. I hate starting shit and not finishing it. I currently have at least 3 paintings "in the works", but I haven't touched a single one of them in over a month. They sit in the corner of my room collecting dust mocking me, acting as a constant reminder of my incredible lack of drive. It's pathetic. Get your shit together.
**Side Note** Any interest in original works on canvas from yours truly? trades welcome. Willing to consider most negotiable things of value, including, but not limited to: fishing tackle, 12" vinyl, 8-track players and tapes, Boomboxes (working or not), stuffed animal carcasses, bear rugs and other forms of animal home decor, WWF wrestling videos (VHS or DVD), a motorolla brick (as you guppies might call it, "the zach morris cell phone"), ninja weapons, drugs, cash, phone cards, human souls, even large quantities of grape soda. Holler at your boy on the low, nickelplatedbama@gmail.com.
***EXTRA SPECIAL OFFER. ONE TIME ONLY.*** Anyone willing to burn their Raiders or St. Louis Cardinals jerseys can have their pick of anything I have painted to date...
All of the above offers are of course only valid if I ever actually finish a fucking painting.
3. Obama. Look, I didn't like him before his presidency started. I felt like he was really pulling the wool over the American people's eyes and putting on this facade like he was a man of the people but behind closed doors he was really just the purest form of asshole on the planet. Just a real "my shit don't stink" type of cat. Now, I feel like every day in office he gets one step closer to showing his true colors and revealing just how pompous and self-involved he really is. He's got most of the world fooled, but not me. I know he's a prick and it won't be long now until someone catches him slippin and he really fumbles that ball on a public stage and starts goin ICICLE on some unsuspecting white house intern. In fact, if/when that day comes, I can honestly say that I will have a whole new respect and appreciation for all things Obama, cause at least I will know what he's about. We all know how much I love ice cold behavior. I know, I know. But Ollie, you are such a friend to the brothas, how can you hate on Obama so much? Because I don't look at Obama as a brotha. I see him as the president of our country and he needs to be spending more time handling business, and less time guzzling brews on the white house lawn. Of course I like that my president is a smoothed out, beer drinkin', everyday man's man (ahhhnnnt!). What I don't like is that he spends more time being a regular ol' plumber Joe in his jeans and t-shirts than he does governing the United States of America. The solution to the "race war" going on in Boston over a cop arresting a brotha for attempting to break into his own home (which I admit is wiggity wack), is to invite the arresting officer and the "assaulted" man to sit down for a lecture over beers? Come on Obama, you didn't even need to be involved in that. AT ALL. The only reason you got involved is because of the race card that was being played. Eh, I can go on and on about this shit, but when the day ends, Obama is my president, and I respect the man's hustle, but I want to see a little more business and a little less tomfoolery out there in the streets.
4. Lady Gaga is a man? The boys at Eat Me California (a really cool food blog based in Southern California if I'm not mistaken) hipped me to this shit way back when I made the post about how Lady Gaga had the fat ass, but I just dismissed it as another run of the mill Hollywood rumor. But no. This shit is getting real, fast. Apparently Mister Gaga came out on her/his blog saying that it was born as a hermaphrodite and has a small penis and a full on vagina. Are you kidding me yo? Get that shit hacked off and move on. No wonder she dresses like a short bus rider.
5. John Hughes died. That sucks, but he really hasn't done anything impactful in this decade, shit, in this millenium to be perfectly honest so I ain't in tears about it. Big ups to "The Breakfast Club"... "Judd Nelson, he was fucking HARSH". First person to tell me where that quote is from gets a prize.
6. I hate this idiot John Gosselin. He always has the stupidest looks on his face. I ain't gonna front on homie's pimp game tho. He's goin hard on these hoes right out the gate, but I guess when you've been married to easily the biggest bitch in the world of c-list celebrities, you really gotta get out there and put your best pimp foot forward. But yo, on the rizlas player, please stop rockin all that tuurrrrrribble ass Ed Hardy gear. I mean, that shit just makes you look like the world's biggest booger eater. Seriously. No self respecting man on this planet can wear Ed Hardy anymore. That's the rules.
7. After eleven months and 10 days I have started smoking again. This really makes me mad, but fuck it. Everyone's got their vices right?
There's alot more shit that I am hating right now, but my blood is already boiling and I fear that if I continue, I may end up punching right thru my monitor.
So that's that. I feel like I got a lot off my chest, and am now ready to get back on my grind. Sorry again for leaving all you guys hanging for so long. I got my shit back in blog mode and will be working harder than ever to produce quality, original content for the loyal fan base.
-Ollie the Chronic Underachiever
Now.
1. Where have you been?
There is no real answer to that question. I've been in one of the following three places:
1. My bed. Tempurpedic mattress top is better than sex. I've been logging some serious hours in my bed. More than I ever have previously in my life. The dungeon that I dwell in is now more affectionately being refered to as simply, "The Cave". But why young Ollie da boss tycoon? Why have you been spending so much time in your beloved bed? Because, fuck it, that's why.
** Side note ** After heavy deliberation and discussion with the few people in the world whose opinion's matter to me, I have decided to be fully open and honest about my current status in the world. TBC and YBO (that's "your boy ollie" for the uninitiated) decided to take some time off. Most of my drive to write came from the overwhelming confidence I drew from being in a monogomous relationship, but once that got cashed in, I've kinda been a little less driven to write, and even less egotistical than normal... That's all I am going to say about that...
2. Work. I am here roughly 10% more than I am in my bed. This is a great job, but in all seriousness, I really just want to fuckin hate it. It's mundane. It's repetitive. It's boring and unfulfilling. But it's awesome. What other job in the world would allow me as much internet time as I get, and pay me a decent wage, keep the A/C at a very unreasonable 70 degrees all day, and kick down with health insurance and not drug test? Answer: Very few. So as much as I want to just up and walk out of this place just to stir some shit up and break up the day a bit, I don't cause I would be a fucking moron to leave this gig. Seriously.
3. Lurking at your favorite girl's pad. Self explanatory and completely fabricated, but to say that I have been spending all of my time in bed or at work would be too depressing, even for the most bitter of haters.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shit I hate: Fucking Everything.
Yep. I still fucking hate everything. Anything that brings you joy, brings me down. I want to punch your stupid child in the face. I want to step on your kittens. I want to snatch the life right out of your self entitled body..
I still love puppies tho..
Back to the hate...
1. I FUCKING HATE drunk people when I'm not drinking. Man, there is literally NOTHING worse than slobbering idiots hangin and drooling all over me when I haven't had any libations and you motherfuckers want to carry on some sort of intelligent conversation with me. Let's get real, you are stupid to begin with, the booze does not help this. In fact, it makes you even less my equal. I already dislike you, don't force me to punch you in the nose to prove my point. Back the fuck up. What part of the brain sends out the message to your body that requires you to be 7 times louder than normal, and 10 times closer to me to talk? BACK THE FUCK UP. I can't take this shit.
2. I hate starting shit and not finishing it. I currently have at least 3 paintings "in the works", but I haven't touched a single one of them in over a month. They sit in the corner of my room collecting dust mocking me, acting as a constant reminder of my incredible lack of drive. It's pathetic. Get your shit together.
**Side Note** Any interest in original works on canvas from yours truly? trades welcome. Willing to consider most negotiable things of value, including, but not limited to: fishing tackle, 12" vinyl, 8-track players and tapes, Boomboxes (working or not), stuffed animal carcasses, bear rugs and other forms of animal home decor, WWF wrestling videos (VHS or DVD), a motorolla brick (as you guppies might call it, "the zach morris cell phone"), ninja weapons, drugs, cash, phone cards, human souls, even large quantities of grape soda. Holler at your boy on the low, nickelplatedbama@gmail.com.
***EXTRA SPECIAL OFFER. ONE TIME ONLY.*** Anyone willing to burn their Raiders or St. Louis Cardinals jerseys can have their pick of anything I have painted to date...
All of the above offers are of course only valid if I ever actually finish a fucking painting.
3. Obama. Look, I didn't like him before his presidency started. I felt like he was really pulling the wool over the American people's eyes and putting on this facade like he was a man of the people but behind closed doors he was really just the purest form of asshole on the planet. Just a real "my shit don't stink" type of cat. Now, I feel like every day in office he gets one step closer to showing his true colors and revealing just how pompous and self-involved he really is. He's got most of the world fooled, but not me. I know he's a prick and it won't be long now until someone catches him slippin and he really fumbles that ball on a public stage and starts goin ICICLE on some unsuspecting white house intern. In fact, if/when that day comes, I can honestly say that I will have a whole new respect and appreciation for all things Obama, cause at least I will know what he's about. We all know how much I love ice cold behavior. I know, I know. But Ollie, you are such a friend to the brothas, how can you hate on Obama so much? Because I don't look at Obama as a brotha. I see him as the president of our country and he needs to be spending more time handling business, and less time guzzling brews on the white house lawn. Of course I like that my president is a smoothed out, beer drinkin', everyday man's man (ahhhnnnt!). What I don't like is that he spends more time being a regular ol' plumber Joe in his jeans and t-shirts than he does governing the United States of America. The solution to the "race war" going on in Boston over a cop arresting a brotha for attempting to break into his own home (which I admit is wiggity wack), is to invite the arresting officer and the "assaulted" man to sit down for a lecture over beers? Come on Obama, you didn't even need to be involved in that. AT ALL. The only reason you got involved is because of the race card that was being played. Eh, I can go on and on about this shit, but when the day ends, Obama is my president, and I respect the man's hustle, but I want to see a little more business and a little less tomfoolery out there in the streets.
4. Lady Gaga is a man? The boys at Eat Me California (a really cool food blog based in Southern California if I'm not mistaken) hipped me to this shit way back when I made the post about how Lady Gaga had the fat ass, but I just dismissed it as another run of the mill Hollywood rumor. But no. This shit is getting real, fast. Apparently Mister Gaga came out on her/his blog saying that it was born as a hermaphrodite and has a small penis and a full on vagina. Are you kidding me yo? Get that shit hacked off and move on. No wonder she dresses like a short bus rider.
5. John Hughes died. That sucks, but he really hasn't done anything impactful in this decade, shit, in this millenium to be perfectly honest so I ain't in tears about it. Big ups to "The Breakfast Club"... "Judd Nelson, he was fucking HARSH". First person to tell me where that quote is from gets a prize.
6. I hate this idiot John Gosselin. He always has the stupidest looks on his face. I ain't gonna front on homie's pimp game tho. He's goin hard on these hoes right out the gate, but I guess when you've been married to easily the biggest bitch in the world of c-list celebrities, you really gotta get out there and put your best pimp foot forward. But yo, on the rizlas player, please stop rockin all that tuurrrrrribble ass Ed Hardy gear. I mean, that shit just makes you look like the world's biggest booger eater. Seriously. No self respecting man on this planet can wear Ed Hardy anymore. That's the rules.
7. After eleven months and 10 days I have started smoking again. This really makes me mad, but fuck it. Everyone's got their vices right?
There's alot more shit that I am hating right now, but my blood is already boiling and I fear that if I continue, I may end up punching right thru my monitor.
So that's that. I feel like I got a lot off my chest, and am now ready to get back on my grind. Sorry again for leaving all you guys hanging for so long. I got my shit back in blog mode and will be working harder than ever to produce quality, original content for the loyal fan base.
-Ollie the Chronic Underachiever
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Not To Get All Sentimental and Shit but:
My very best friend in the whole world welcomed his brand new daughter Ashlynn into the world on Friday, May 22, 2009.
Your boy Uncle Ollie gets the Godfather duties.
Welcome to the world beautiful little lady, can't wait to meet you!
-Uncle Ollie
Your boy Uncle Ollie gets the Godfather duties.
Welcome to the world beautiful little lady, can't wait to meet you!
-Uncle Ollie
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Yes, I Do Realize The Blog Sucks Lately
Look, the sad truth of the matter is that I haven't really been putting in much of an effort to bring the people the heat they are used to from this blog.
I don't have an excuse, all I can say is, I'm lazy and haven't cared much.
On the other hand, I have been trying to build the new site, create a new layout, get everything set up to move over to wordpress for hosting and redirecting the URL so the readers can just type nickelplatedbama.com rather than .blogspot.com or .wordpress.com.
I am working hard, but hardly working all at the same time.
Some good news though:
I got word from Makeshift today that the "No Doze" mixtape should be in mp3 format by the weekend, meaning it will be available for download through this site sometime next week (fingers crossed).
And just because you people have been so loyal, here is a video of pregnant teenagers dancing...
Fucking white people...
Shout to Ignored Prayers for being one of the best blogs on the net.
-Olls
I don't have an excuse, all I can say is, I'm lazy and haven't cared much.
On the other hand, I have been trying to build the new site, create a new layout, get everything set up to move over to wordpress for hosting and redirecting the URL so the readers can just type nickelplatedbama.com rather than .blogspot.com or .wordpress.com.
I am working hard, but hardly working all at the same time.
Some good news though:
I got word from Makeshift today that the "No Doze" mixtape should be in mp3 format by the weekend, meaning it will be available for download through this site sometime next week (fingers crossed).
And just because you people have been so loyal, here is a video of pregnant teenagers dancing...
Fucking white people...
Shout to Ignored Prayers for being one of the best blogs on the net.
-Olls
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Weakend Recap
Because I love you all so much, here's a little Beyonce camel action.
I know I've been gone for a while, and I have no real excuse other than my lack of drive and work ethic.
I've been recovering from the weekend for 2 days now and I still aint right. The Dr. denied my refill so I've been a real mess as of late.
So basically what I'm saying is; I'm sorry for slackin' but fuck you. Why don't you try writing a blog. Not everyone can do this ya'know. It's hard to be consistently funny and fresh.
Sure, anyone could make some posts every day, but to keep it funky on a regular basis requires alot of personal time, and considering I just got my job back, the personal time graph is looking a little lopsided.
On to the weekend...
Saturday: We had a Luau (lou wow) for my niece out at my mom's crib and I was surrounded by a gang of 10 and under's from about 9:30 a.m. til about 8:30 p.m. (when I passed out). Between those hours I managed to consume a pretty hefty amount of beers and played a shit load of cornhole (no homo).
In celebrity news:
Not to be outdone by Cassie who released several NSFW pics available HERE, HERE, and HERE (yowsers), Rihanna, errr, Chris Brown, or a combination of the two released several NSFW photos of little miss RiRi gettin it right for the summer.
What is up with that ridiculously high waisted 80's thong piece? haaa.
Rihanna lets em know once and for all that all that speculation as to whether or not she's workin' with some tail was nonsense. That's a nice handful, and those titties are right.
If you want to see the rest of the series of NSFW flicks, they are available for you right over HERE, including one of Chris Brown with panties on his head.
Sunday: Every year for the last, I'ontknow 20 or so Young Smalls (my brother) and I attend the Woodlake Rodeo with my mom for Mother's Day. It's what she wants, so we do what is asked of us. In recent years, basically since we've been of legal drinking age it has become a tradition to bring the homies along as well. This year was no different. Knowing damn well how hard I was going to drink, I chose to leave the camera in the car so I only have the following photo(s) from the day, but they capture the essence of how I was feeling quite well if I do say so myself...
With photos like these floatin around on the web, I am bound to be famous by closing time Friday.
I am officially back, and am going to work harder than ever for all of you folks.
Big shouts to everyone who drank with me Saturday or Sunday.
Big shout to Mom Dukes for being the illest giver of life to ever give life to the illest blogger to ever blog.
Now that you're caught up to speed, on to the next post(s).
-Ollie
I know I've been gone for a while, and I have no real excuse other than my lack of drive and work ethic.
I've been recovering from the weekend for 2 days now and I still aint right. The Dr. denied my refill so I've been a real mess as of late.
So basically what I'm saying is; I'm sorry for slackin' but fuck you. Why don't you try writing a blog. Not everyone can do this ya'know. It's hard to be consistently funny and fresh.
Sure, anyone could make some posts every day, but to keep it funky on a regular basis requires alot of personal time, and considering I just got my job back, the personal time graph is looking a little lopsided.
On to the weekend...
Saturday: We had a Luau (lou wow) for my niece out at my mom's crib and I was surrounded by a gang of 10 and under's from about 9:30 a.m. til about 8:30 p.m. (when I passed out). Between those hours I managed to consume a pretty hefty amount of beers and played a shit load of cornhole (no homo).
In celebrity news:
Not to be outdone by Cassie who released several NSFW pics available HERE, HERE, and HERE (yowsers), Rihanna, errr, Chris Brown, or a combination of the two released several NSFW photos of little miss RiRi gettin it right for the summer.
What is up with that ridiculously high waisted 80's thong piece? haaa.
Rihanna lets em know once and for all that all that speculation as to whether or not she's workin' with some tail was nonsense. That's a nice handful, and those titties are right.
If you want to see the rest of the series of NSFW flicks, they are available for you right over HERE, including one of Chris Brown with panties on his head.
Sunday: Every year for the last, I'ontknow 20 or so Young Smalls (my brother) and I attend the Woodlake Rodeo with my mom for Mother's Day. It's what she wants, so we do what is asked of us. In recent years, basically since we've been of legal drinking age it has become a tradition to bring the homies along as well. This year was no different. Knowing damn well how hard I was going to drink, I chose to leave the camera in the car so I only have the following photo(s) from the day, but they capture the essence of how I was feeling quite well if I do say so myself...
With photos like these floatin around on the web, I am bound to be famous by closing time Friday.
I am officially back, and am going to work harder than ever for all of you folks.
Big shouts to everyone who drank with me Saturday or Sunday.
Big shout to Mom Dukes for being the illest giver of life to ever give life to the illest blogger to ever blog.
Now that you're caught up to speed, on to the next post(s).
-Ollie
Friday, May 1, 2009
Friday Net Lag
Started back at the old job today. Lots of stuff to write about, but very little blogging time. Going to have to make it all up this weekend.
This day has sucked something serious.
Computer tech guy in the office at MY DESK all day setting up the network system and all of that bullshit for work I won't be doing. Oh well. I have literally done nothing today. Checked my email a few times and took a long lunch.
Answers for Wednesday's "Guess That Rack" are as follows.
#1 Keeley Hazel
#2 Holly Weber
#3 Scarlett Johansson
#4 Danielle Lloyd
#5 is slipping my mind. HAHA. It's the bad chick from the new Star Trek movie set to release later this month. Daria something.
Oh well. I am a slacker. I am a terrible host and even worse blogger.
I'll put the pictures up along with links to all the nudies of all these birds when I get home to the trusty laptop.
My guess is that I will be doing all my writing in the evening now and posting first thing in the morning for the avid readers.
I will be back.
I did purchase the domain name for nickelplatedbama.com and the new site should be fully operational in the next 10 days or so depending on my work ethic.
-Ollie
This day has sucked something serious.
Computer tech guy in the office at MY DESK all day setting up the network system and all of that bullshit for work I won't be doing. Oh well. I have literally done nothing today. Checked my email a few times and took a long lunch.
Answers for Wednesday's "Guess That Rack" are as follows.
#1 Keeley Hazel
#2 Holly Weber
#3 Scarlett Johansson
#4 Danielle Lloyd
#5 is slipping my mind. HAHA. It's the bad chick from the new Star Trek movie set to release later this month. Daria something.
Oh well. I am a slacker. I am a terrible host and even worse blogger.
I'll put the pictures up along with links to all the nudies of all these birds when I get home to the trusty laptop.
My guess is that I will be doing all my writing in the evening now and posting first thing in the morning for the avid readers.
I will be back.
I did purchase the domain name for nickelplatedbama.com and the new site should be fully operational in the next 10 days or so depending on my work ethic.
-Ollie
Friday, April 24, 2009
Quick Update
Sorry for the lack of updates today.
I spent the majority of the day interviewing Makeshift. For what it's worth, the interview came out solid.
Should be up by the middle/end of next week, but won't be sure until after the weekend.
Thanks to the few of you who have remained loyal readers while I go through the trials of switching servers, developing the new layout, and buying the domain name, etc.
To the rest of you who haven't been checkin, FUCK YOU.
Yeah I said it.
-Olls
I spent the majority of the day interviewing Makeshift. For what it's worth, the interview came out solid.
Should be up by the middle/end of next week, but won't be sure until after the weekend.
Thanks to the few of you who have remained loyal readers while I go through the trials of switching servers, developing the new layout, and buying the domain name, etc.
To the rest of you who haven't been checkin, FUCK YOU.
Yeah I said it.
-Olls
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Sorry Kiddies
Internet connection is wack, keep losing my posts.
Uncle Ollie is taking care of the sick nephew.
My knee is REEEEALLLY fucked up right now. Doctor recommended an X-Ray, but the paper is low, hopefully this isn't permanent. I've got some photos of the injury to post later.
It's been slow going, all apologies buckaroos. I will get my shit together and rock some new hot shit tomorrow.
NPB is the new AA. Just keep coming back... HAHA.
-Olllllls
Uncle Ollie is taking care of the sick nephew.
My knee is REEEEALLLY fucked up right now. Doctor recommended an X-Ray, but the paper is low, hopefully this isn't permanent. I've got some photos of the injury to post later.
It's been slow going, all apologies buckaroos. I will get my shit together and rock some new hot shit tomorrow.
NPB is the new AA. Just keep coming back... HAHA.
-Olllllls
Monday, April 20, 2009
Vodka Soaked Tampons: WTF
Ok, so the story goes like this...
TBC (the ball and chain for the new readers) comes home raving about this wild ass story her boss was telling her about over hearing these kids out in the desert shoving vodka soaked tampons up there yams and backs.
I couldn't fuckin' believe it.
Apparently this shit is big in the streets. I had to do a little research and, well, just watch...
Yes. This is real. This is a legitimate phenomenon taking place right here in our country. Young girls have taken to shoving vodka soaked tampons in their most sacred of places to catch a buzz.
Rumor has it, these kids are ingesting booze via their twats and assholes to be able to pass breathalyzers. HAHAHA.
It's these same mouth breathing morons that came up with these ideas of shoving beer bongs in their assholes, and booze drenched tampons in their 'ginas, that would think it would keep them out of hand cuffs when taking a breathalyzer test. As most normal functioning people that have ever had to take a breathalizer would know; breathalyzers don't measure the amount of alcohol on your breath. Rather, they approximate the amount of alcohol flowing through your blood that is passed through the lungs and expelled IN your breath.
For more info, Click Here To Find Out How Stuff Works.
More importantly, I want to address the fact that DUDES ARE STRAIGHT STICKING BEER BONG TUBES UP THERE ASSHOLES. Are you kidding me? Who/What/Where/When/Why/How the fuck was this decision made?
Where was the straight man in this decision making process?
Dude, I can't play along with this anymore. This has got to end. RIGHT FUCKING NOW.
-Ollie
TBC (the ball and chain for the new readers) comes home raving about this wild ass story her boss was telling her about over hearing these kids out in the desert shoving vodka soaked tampons up there yams and backs.
I couldn't fuckin' believe it.
Apparently this shit is big in the streets. I had to do a little research and, well, just watch...
Yes. This is real. This is a legitimate phenomenon taking place right here in our country. Young girls have taken to shoving vodka soaked tampons in their most sacred of places to catch a buzz.
Rumor has it, these kids are ingesting booze via their twats and assholes to be able to pass breathalyzers. HAHAHA.
It's these same mouth breathing morons that came up with these ideas of shoving beer bongs in their assholes, and booze drenched tampons in their 'ginas, that would think it would keep them out of hand cuffs when taking a breathalyzer test. As most normal functioning people that have ever had to take a breathalizer would know; breathalyzers don't measure the amount of alcohol on your breath. Rather, they approximate the amount of alcohol flowing through your blood that is passed through the lungs and expelled IN your breath.
For more info, Click Here To Find Out How Stuff Works.
More importantly, I want to address the fact that DUDES ARE STRAIGHT STICKING BEER BONG TUBES UP THERE ASSHOLES. Are you kidding me? Who/What/Where/When/Why/How the fuck was this decision made?
Where was the straight man in this decision making process?
Dude, I can't play along with this anymore. This has got to end. RIGHT FUCKING NOW.
-Ollie
Sunday, April 12, 2009
The King Has Returned
It's been a long, LONG weekend.
All apologies for the lack of posts. In all honesty, i've enjoyed the layoff.
Got some great new stuff for the boys and girls tomorrow.
It's hot in the valley. The master's is gonna be won by some nobody.
Cubs tonight at 5:00 against the arch rival Brewers.
The Cavs put the severe ass slappin on the Celtics, and I have severe mixed emotions about the situation.
On one hand, I love to see the Celtics lose. On the other hand, I bet the Celtics +8.5 and, well... you know the rest.
My gambling habit has taken over my life and I'm a wreck. I need to find a new means of turning a profit because this is just not working out.
The norco refill came in today, so I'll be a happy camper for the next 10-12 days.
-Ollie
All apologies for the lack of posts. In all honesty, i've enjoyed the layoff.
Got some great new stuff for the boys and girls tomorrow.
It's hot in the valley. The master's is gonna be won by some nobody.
Cubs tonight at 5:00 against the arch rival Brewers.
The Cavs put the severe ass slappin on the Celtics, and I have severe mixed emotions about the situation.
On one hand, I love to see the Celtics lose. On the other hand, I bet the Celtics +8.5 and, well... you know the rest.
My gambling habit has taken over my life and I'm a wreck. I need to find a new means of turning a profit because this is just not working out.
The norco refill came in today, so I'll be a happy camper for the next 10-12 days.
-Ollie
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Limited Updates Today:
Updates will be spread out throughout the day as my mind seems to be working in 7 second delay.
Cubs lost last night. 1-1 in the first 2 games. Hopefully they can bounce back tonight to win the series at 2-1.
Otherwise, I have every intention of painting today.
Got some ideas I've been scratchin out on paper, and now I think it's time to make the transfer to canvas.
check back later for updates about Lindsey Lohan doin porn.
-Ollie
Cubs lost last night. 1-1 in the first 2 games. Hopefully they can bounce back tonight to win the series at 2-1.
Otherwise, I have every intention of painting today.
Got some ideas I've been scratchin out on paper, and now I think it's time to make the transfer to canvas.
check back later for updates about Lindsey Lohan doin porn.
-Ollie
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
The Tournament Is Finally Over:
All congratulations due and payable to my little cousin, "The Bracketologist" for dominating the first annual NickelPlatedBama March Madness Bracket Challenge (it's a working title). What can I say? The kid's got game and handled bitness with several upsets that no one else saw coming. Big ups Kris. Keep it funky. You'll be getting your shirt very soon.
Big ups to Knowledge from the ANATOMY BLOG for holding it down and coming in second, just 30 points behind the winner.
Drama the Koofie Smacker from Code2Ave.com came correct and held down the 3 spot coming in 100 points behind the winner.
I never mentioned whether or not there would be prizes for second and third place.
2nd place will get one week of praise here on the BAMA and will have their blog linked to, no less than 20 times.
3rd place will get a hand written letter that says "better luck next time" (haha) and a handfull of NPB stickers. Drama, hit me an email with your address (nickelplatedbama@gmail.com).
Thank you everyone who participated.
Code2Ave.com
UVTblog.com (US versus Them)
ANATOMY BLOG
eatmecalifornia.com
B the Heat Spitta
To those who were out of the tournament before the elite 8 (like myself) better luck next year.
Maybe now I can finally stop losing so much money betting against North Carolina.
While I'm at it I would like to address the absolutely AWFUL play on both sides of the ball by Michigan State.
I just want to point out a few key points that basically ensured UNC's domination over Michigan State.
1. Michigan State had more turnovers than field goals made.
2. When a team is down 20+ points, one would imagine the sense of urgency to play defense would kick in sometime before the last 4 minutes left in the game. I was completely blown away at how lazy and inefficient Michigan State played last night.
3. I still hate Tyler Hansbrough more than any other college player in the history of the sport, but, on this site, credit is given when it is due. Psycho T put in work. He flopped/flailed/and morphed his body into ridiculous contortionist positions to make every shot look deserving of sportscenter's top 10 plays, when in reality all he did was make a copule of layups.
4. Michigan State was flat out matched and got outplayed. Congrats to UNC, Ty Lawson in particular. Dude is a beast, and a definite first rounder in this years NBA draft. As for Tyler Hansbrough, he will go down as one of the best NCAA basketball players of all time, unfortuantely for him, he doesn't stand a chance in the NBA. It's just the sad truth of the matter.
The NBA playoffs kick off next week. I got alot of work to do to unfuck myself for all of those bets against UNC.
-Ollie the Defeated
Big ups to Knowledge from the ANATOMY BLOG for holding it down and coming in second, just 30 points behind the winner.
Drama the Koofie Smacker from Code2Ave.com came correct and held down the 3 spot coming in 100 points behind the winner.
I never mentioned whether or not there would be prizes for second and third place.
2nd place will get one week of praise here on the BAMA and will have their blog linked to, no less than 20 times.
3rd place will get a hand written letter that says "better luck next time" (haha) and a handfull of NPB stickers. Drama, hit me an email with your address (nickelplatedbama@gmail.com).
Thank you everyone who participated.
Code2Ave.com
UVTblog.com (US versus Them)
ANATOMY BLOG
eatmecalifornia.com
B the Heat Spitta
To those who were out of the tournament before the elite 8 (like myself) better luck next year.
Maybe now I can finally stop losing so much money betting against North Carolina.
While I'm at it I would like to address the absolutely AWFUL play on both sides of the ball by Michigan State.
I just want to point out a few key points that basically ensured UNC's domination over Michigan State.
1. Michigan State had more turnovers than field goals made.
2. When a team is down 20+ points, one would imagine the sense of urgency to play defense would kick in sometime before the last 4 minutes left in the game. I was completely blown away at how lazy and inefficient Michigan State played last night.
3. I still hate Tyler Hansbrough more than any other college player in the history of the sport, but, on this site, credit is given when it is due. Psycho T put in work. He flopped/flailed/and morphed his body into ridiculous contortionist positions to make every shot look deserving of sportscenter's top 10 plays, when in reality all he did was make a copule of layups.
4. Michigan State was flat out matched and got outplayed. Congrats to UNC, Ty Lawson in particular. Dude is a beast, and a definite first rounder in this years NBA draft. As for Tyler Hansbrough, he will go down as one of the best NCAA basketball players of all time, unfortuantely for him, he doesn't stand a chance in the NBA. It's just the sad truth of the matter.
The NBA playoffs kick off next week. I got alot of work to do to unfuck myself for all of those bets against UNC.
-Ollie the Defeated
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Final Four:
This will be my only post today as there really isn't anything of grand importance going on in the world.
I just wanted to ask a quick question...
Is it just me, or is the N.I.T. final four looking more interesting than the NCAA final four?
I mean seriously...
Catch me rootin hard for Michigan State and Villanova in the finals.
Sorry for the lack of updates today, I've been workin on gettin a bunch of other stuff done for the site.
NickelPlatedBama will soon be the proud owner of it's own personal domain, so the readers and fans will no longer be required to type in the .blogspot.com.
A new, improved interview with Makeshift will be up along with the "No Doze" mixtape available for free download exclusively on the BAMA.
I got alot of shit on my plate right now, but I'm keeping it under wraps for the time being.
I plan on going fishing in the morning, so if that happens, don't expect any updates unless I somehow manage to catch some fish.
I'm going to get shitty drunk right now for no good reason.
Enjoy your evening and fuck off.
-Ollie
I just wanted to ask a quick question...
Is it just me, or is the N.I.T. final four looking more interesting than the NCAA final four?
I mean seriously...
Catch me rootin hard for Michigan State and Villanova in the finals.
Sorry for the lack of updates today, I've been workin on gettin a bunch of other stuff done for the site.
NickelPlatedBama will soon be the proud owner of it's own personal domain, so the readers and fans will no longer be required to type in the .blogspot.com.
A new, improved interview with Makeshift will be up along with the "No Doze" mixtape available for free download exclusively on the BAMA.
I got alot of shit on my plate right now, but I'm keeping it under wraps for the time being.
I plan on going fishing in the morning, so if that happens, don't expect any updates unless I somehow manage to catch some fish.
I'm going to get shitty drunk right now for no good reason.
Enjoy your evening and fuck off.
-Ollie
Monday, March 30, 2009
Album Cover Of The Day:
While cruising the local flea market a couple Subdays back I stumbled across this gem in a stack of mariachi and techno records.
As of yet, I haven't listened to it (my turntables currently reside at Young Smalls' house) but, in my mind, judging by the cover alone, this HAS to be a classic.
Seriously, have you seen a better play on words in photo form in your life? I think not.
It was a fairly uneventful weekend.
Posts will be short and limited this week. There are HUGE thangs poppin. Currently, I can't go into detail, but just know, power moves are in the works.
On top of that, there is a cornhole tournament this coming Sunday (April 5, 2009) and I gotta get into fightin' shape, I need the scratch after Oklahoma shit the fuckin bed and cost me the rent money.
People always ask me, "how can you handle the stress of gambling for your income?" My response is simple, ice water in the veins.
-Ollie
Friday, March 27, 2009
Weekly Recap:
Fmylife.com has taken over my life.
As much as I wanted Duke to win, Nova blew em out the building.
My bracket is toast after that ass tapping Memphis took last night at the hands of Missouri.
My drug habit has come to a grinding hault. Fuck this recession. LOL.
I'm hungover.
Makeshift is my favorite rapper.
Your mother thinks I'm handsome, and I don't blame her.
Updates tomorrow.
-Ollie
As much as I wanted Duke to win, Nova blew em out the building.
My bracket is toast after that ass tapping Memphis took last night at the hands of Missouri.
My drug habit has come to a grinding hault. Fuck this recession. LOL.
I'm hungover.
Makeshift is my favorite rapper.
Your mother thinks I'm handsome, and I don't blame her.
Updates tomorrow.
-Ollie
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Twitter Quote Of The Day:
"I hope you tight jean wearin kats try to run some where and catch fire from the friction".
Courtesy of BigVon on Twitter.
HAHAHAHA!
Check the homie at BigVon.com Coming Soon.
On another note, I'm watching the PGA tour right now and some idiot in the gala (audience for you non golfing creightons) got his skull tattooed courtesy of a shanked tee shot from Retief Goosen. LOL.
Arnold Palmer's response: "tsst. Oh my goodness gracious".
I am still laughing out loud.
Other people's misfortune = My bread and butter.
OH YEAH can I just send a HUGE shout out to the homie Knowledge from ANATOMY BLOG. Dude is nice with the words and holding the BAMA down realllll firm. Big things to come with the Ollie/Knowledge Collabo.
Watch out.
***Update on dude who got smashed by the golf ball***
Huge fuckin lump on his temple. Retief Goosen shook his hand and walked away. Fuckin' icicle. LOL.
I'd be like "Thanks alot for fuckin up my shot jerk off".
-Ollie
Courtesy of BigVon on Twitter.
HAHAHAHA!
Check the homie at BigVon.com Coming Soon.
On another note, I'm watching the PGA tour right now and some idiot in the gala (audience for you non golfing creightons) got his skull tattooed courtesy of a shanked tee shot from Retief Goosen. LOL.
Arnold Palmer's response: "tsst. Oh my goodness gracious".
I am still laughing out loud.
Other people's misfortune = My bread and butter.
OH YEAH can I just send a HUGE shout out to the homie Knowledge from ANATOMY BLOG. Dude is nice with the words and holding the BAMA down realllll firm. Big things to come with the Ollie/Knowledge Collabo.
Watch out.
***Update on dude who got smashed by the golf ball***
Huge fuckin lump on his temple. Retief Goosen shook his hand and walked away. Fuckin' icicle. LOL.
I'd be like "Thanks alot for fuckin up my shot jerk off".
-Ollie
Monday, March 23, 2009
Interview With Larry Luk Co-Founder Of PROCESS Clothing
In the weeks leading up to my little excursion down to San Diego for the ASR and AGENDA trade shows, I reached out to several companies that were supposed to be attending the shows. One of the only other companies (besides the dbags from Cardboard Robot) that took the time to get back to me was PROCESS. More importantly, the man behind the line, Larry Luk. Larry informed me that the line wasn't quite ready for the January trade shows but kindly agreed to do an interview with me. After several weeks of e-mail correspondence we got it knocked out...
Here's the interview:
Oliver Wrist: For the people that didn’t catch the interview in Esper-Magazine, lets get the basics out of the way..
Your name, is it pronounced Larry Luck or Luke? My money is on Luke for the record…
Larry Luke: Yea, it's pronounced Luke... just without the "e"
OW: Age?
LL:28 years young.
OW: Company?
LL: Our design company is called Epidemik Coalition (EC). Our house brand and clothing line is called PROCESS. We're launching the line on 03.06.09 in some boutiques and online at wearetheprocess.com.
OW: Whose Involved?
LL: There are a lot of us involved with both EC and PROCESS. First of all, we're a group of graphic designers, web developers, photographers, musicians, DJ's and illustrators. We all contribute to each other's projects in different combinations all the time. We host events around Atlanta and we all come together for PROCESS.
OW: How did it start?
LL: PROCESS came naturally from our passion for design. We started printing our own graphic tees as we honed our design skills while in school. With each creative effort came a graphic tee. It was a good medium to experiment and learn on. As we made the decision to take the industry a little more seriously, it was time to rebrand from Epidemik Coalition to PROCESS.
OW: Where did it start?
LL: In the basement of a little graphic design school in Atlanta called Portfolio Center.
OW: Is this the only project you’re involved in?
LL: Not at all. Like I mentioned earlier, Epidemik Coalition is our creative agency. We do work for all types of clients that need design in their lives. The solutions and deliverables are all different, depending on the clients' needs. Designer and Production Manager for PROCESS are just a few of the hats I wear on a daily basis.
OW: How would you describe process?
LL: We're a group of graphic designers, photographers, branding experts, boutique owners, musicians, web-developers, and bloggers, that are all invested into this big idea at different levels. On top of that, everyone has their own main gig, and Process is an organic offspring of everyone's creative energies combined. I guess you could say that movers and shakers in Atlanta are down with the Process.
OW: Most people associate ATL with the “Dirty South Crunk” stigma rather than streetwear. Where would you say you developed your sense of boutique-oriented fashion?
LL: We're proud of the Dirty South reputation. We bring it as hard as we can with every effort. I think our line speaks to both the "exclusive products" oriented person as well as the creative/artist/designer person. Being boutique-goers ourselves, we quickly realized that there wasn't a brand from our area that we wanted to wear. So we decided to start one ourselves.
OW: As a company, you guys are staying rooted in ATL, how do you market yourself to the hipster scene of New York or the backpacking skinny jean crowd out in L.A.?
LL: We're proud of where we're from and we aren't looking to market ourselves specifically to anyone other than the folks that "get us". If you hate our part of the country, or if you have preconceived prejudices of Atlanta, then you probably won't want to rep PROCESS. With that being said, we wouldn't want you to either.
OW: To me it seems like there is literally a new “streetwear” company popping up daily, what separates PROCESS from the rest?
LL: I think the difference between PROCESS and many other brands it the fact that our designs and our line all come from a real place where concept and design play a major role in what we do. Our brand has a sense of aesthetic and ideals that we will not vary from. And lastly, we don't run down the street shouting ignorantly about our line.
OW: How do you feel about the term “streetwear”? (I’m not a fan).
LL: I'm not really sure where it came from and I don't care for it. But I will say that we're not trying to be a streetwear brand. Who knows, we might start making silk-scarves, eyeglasses, and perfumes some day. The sky is the limit. Who knows.
OW: Then who would you consider your target consumer?
LL: Like I said before, our target consumer is anyone that "gets us" from a creative standpoint. We're not looking to blanket the world ala Ed Hardy. We are simply putting ourselves out there as genuinely as possible. We feel that's the best way to get people on board with our brand.
OW: Tell us more about the “noncepts” phrase you coined in the esper interview…
LL: If there's no concept, it's a "noncept". Life's too short to waste your ideas on something half-baked. Design has consequences so your products need to have meaning. Take a look at 90% of the lines out there and you'll see their lack for concept. It's actually really lame to slap a photo of a sneaker on a shirt with a slogan that states your baller status. Weak sauce.
OW: The thing I like most about the Process brand is that it isn’t overtly hip hop in its roots, nor is it decidedly punk, or hipster, or scene, its just… well, I’ll let you put the word on it…
LL: It's all of that. If you came by our studio and looked at our mood boards, you'd see it all there. But it's all carefully translated into our version of that. Our crew grew up in different parts of the country and we converged on Atlanta and have made it our home base. We've got hip-hop heads, punk rockers, skaters, bikers, etc. We take our influences and distill them down to unique creative efforts. Hence, "WE are the PROCESS".
OW: Where do you want to see Process in the next 5 years? I mean, is it a line you want distributed at ZUMIES, or do you want to keep it more limited and “local” so to speak?
LL: We're taking everything one step at a time. First we need to set it off with our launch on March the 6th (03.06.09). (Editor's note, the line has since launched and it seems that things are going smoothly). After that, we'll see what happens. We're looking forward to expanding into stores by building solid relationships.
OW: That's about it as far as my questions go. So let me just say thanks for doin the interview Larry. Are they're any people you want to bless with a shout out? I mean, you know this blog is reaching world wide now (LOL)…
LL: Shouts to the rest of the PROCESS/EC crew, Georgios, Jorge & Jessica, Ted, Ross, & Erin. Farshad & Sandy with Standard. My family & my girl Lacey. Joe "Focus" Martinez, the next American Idol. Cory, Ryan & Tim with StreetLocal. Aaron Martell & The Joneses. Decatur Dan, The whole El Bar crew, Rob Wonder, Rosa, Colleen, Lord, Cristo, Slugger, Henry, Sumner, Zach Wolfe. Senor Kaos and thekaoseffect.com, Dosa, Prince Presto. Nikki Reid, "The Party Wolf". QC peeps, Josh, Myk, AC, Radar, and Bobby. Rehab family, Demun, Danny, Hano, Foz, Mike, Hood, Lamar, & Crisis. Farshid & Neda, Thoughtmarker blog (Mike Germon), Beep Beep Gallery (James), Mint Gallery (Erica), Sopo Bikes (Rachael), Gail Turner, Ryan James, John Henderson, Nick Cooper, Dr. Finck, Meesh, VS in MIA, King Screen (Dave & Scott), Octane, JDC, Armchair Media, Wade Thompson, Megan Huntz Dresses, the good folks at MODA, Dylan at Edmond, Iris, Kerri Boles, Criminal Records, the Local, Steven Dixey, and anyone else I forgot.
Bubba Sparxx reps the PROCESS, you should too!
wearetheprocess.com
-Ollie
Here's the interview:
Oliver Wrist: For the people that didn’t catch the interview in Esper-Magazine, lets get the basics out of the way..
Your name, is it pronounced Larry Luck or Luke? My money is on Luke for the record…
Larry Luke: Yea, it's pronounced Luke... just without the "e"
OW: Age?
LL:28 years young.
OW: Company?
LL: Our design company is called Epidemik Coalition (EC). Our house brand and clothing line is called PROCESS. We're launching the line on 03.06.09 in some boutiques and online at wearetheprocess.com.
OW: Whose Involved?
LL: There are a lot of us involved with both EC and PROCESS. First of all, we're a group of graphic designers, web developers, photographers, musicians, DJ's and illustrators. We all contribute to each other's projects in different combinations all the time. We host events around Atlanta and we all come together for PROCESS.
OW: How did it start?
LL: PROCESS came naturally from our passion for design. We started printing our own graphic tees as we honed our design skills while in school. With each creative effort came a graphic tee. It was a good medium to experiment and learn on. As we made the decision to take the industry a little more seriously, it was time to rebrand from Epidemik Coalition to PROCESS.
OW: Where did it start?
LL: In the basement of a little graphic design school in Atlanta called Portfolio Center.
OW: Is this the only project you’re involved in?
LL: Not at all. Like I mentioned earlier, Epidemik Coalition is our creative agency. We do work for all types of clients that need design in their lives. The solutions and deliverables are all different, depending on the clients' needs. Designer and Production Manager for PROCESS are just a few of the hats I wear on a daily basis.
OW: How would you describe process?
LL: We're a group of graphic designers, photographers, branding experts, boutique owners, musicians, web-developers, and bloggers, that are all invested into this big idea at different levels. On top of that, everyone has their own main gig, and Process is an organic offspring of everyone's creative energies combined. I guess you could say that movers and shakers in Atlanta are down with the Process.
OW: Most people associate ATL with the “Dirty South Crunk” stigma rather than streetwear. Where would you say you developed your sense of boutique-oriented fashion?
LL: We're proud of the Dirty South reputation. We bring it as hard as we can with every effort. I think our line speaks to both the "exclusive products" oriented person as well as the creative/artist/designer person. Being boutique-goers ourselves, we quickly realized that there wasn't a brand from our area that we wanted to wear. So we decided to start one ourselves.
OW: As a company, you guys are staying rooted in ATL, how do you market yourself to the hipster scene of New York or the backpacking skinny jean crowd out in L.A.?
LL: We're proud of where we're from and we aren't looking to market ourselves specifically to anyone other than the folks that "get us". If you hate our part of the country, or if you have preconceived prejudices of Atlanta, then you probably won't want to rep PROCESS. With that being said, we wouldn't want you to either.
OW: To me it seems like there is literally a new “streetwear” company popping up daily, what separates PROCESS from the rest?
LL: I think the difference between PROCESS and many other brands it the fact that our designs and our line all come from a real place where concept and design play a major role in what we do. Our brand has a sense of aesthetic and ideals that we will not vary from. And lastly, we don't run down the street shouting ignorantly about our line.
OW: How do you feel about the term “streetwear”? (I’m not a fan).
LL: I'm not really sure where it came from and I don't care for it. But I will say that we're not trying to be a streetwear brand. Who knows, we might start making silk-scarves, eyeglasses, and perfumes some day. The sky is the limit. Who knows.
OW: Then who would you consider your target consumer?
LL: Like I said before, our target consumer is anyone that "gets us" from a creative standpoint. We're not looking to blanket the world ala Ed Hardy. We are simply putting ourselves out there as genuinely as possible. We feel that's the best way to get people on board with our brand.
OW: Tell us more about the “noncepts” phrase you coined in the esper interview…
LL: If there's no concept, it's a "noncept". Life's too short to waste your ideas on something half-baked. Design has consequences so your products need to have meaning. Take a look at 90% of the lines out there and you'll see their lack for concept. It's actually really lame to slap a photo of a sneaker on a shirt with a slogan that states your baller status. Weak sauce.
OW: The thing I like most about the Process brand is that it isn’t overtly hip hop in its roots, nor is it decidedly punk, or hipster, or scene, its just… well, I’ll let you put the word on it…
LL: It's all of that. If you came by our studio and looked at our mood boards, you'd see it all there. But it's all carefully translated into our version of that. Our crew grew up in different parts of the country and we converged on Atlanta and have made it our home base. We've got hip-hop heads, punk rockers, skaters, bikers, etc. We take our influences and distill them down to unique creative efforts. Hence, "WE are the PROCESS".
OW: Where do you want to see Process in the next 5 years? I mean, is it a line you want distributed at ZUMIES, or do you want to keep it more limited and “local” so to speak?
LL: We're taking everything one step at a time. First we need to set it off with our launch on March the 6th (03.06.09). (Editor's note, the line has since launched and it seems that things are going smoothly). After that, we'll see what happens. We're looking forward to expanding into stores by building solid relationships.
OW: That's about it as far as my questions go. So let me just say thanks for doin the interview Larry. Are they're any people you want to bless with a shout out? I mean, you know this blog is reaching world wide now (LOL)…
LL: Shouts to the rest of the PROCESS/EC crew, Georgios, Jorge & Jessica, Ted, Ross, & Erin. Farshad & Sandy with Standard. My family & my girl Lacey. Joe "Focus" Martinez, the next American Idol. Cory, Ryan & Tim with StreetLocal. Aaron Martell & The Joneses. Decatur Dan, The whole El Bar crew, Rob Wonder, Rosa, Colleen, Lord, Cristo, Slugger, Henry, Sumner, Zach Wolfe. Senor Kaos and thekaoseffect.com, Dosa, Prince Presto. Nikki Reid, "The Party Wolf". QC peeps, Josh, Myk, AC, Radar, and Bobby. Rehab family, Demun, Danny, Hano, Foz, Mike, Hood, Lamar, & Crisis. Farshid & Neda, Thoughtmarker blog (Mike Germon), Beep Beep Gallery (James), Mint Gallery (Erica), Sopo Bikes (Rachael), Gail Turner, Ryan James, John Henderson, Nick Cooper, Dr. Finck, Meesh, VS in MIA, King Screen (Dave & Scott), Octane, JDC, Armchair Media, Wade Thompson, Megan Huntz Dresses, the good folks at MODA, Dylan at Edmond, Iris, Kerri Boles, Criminal Records, the Local, Steven Dixey, and anyone else I forgot.
Bubba Sparxx reps the PROCESS, you should too!
wearetheprocess.com
-Ollie
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Misery Loves Company:
The last 4 days of my life have been pretty brutal...
St. Paddy's was awful. I started throwin back beers at like 9 a.m. and ended up at Froggies around 11:00. We strong armed Becks for the better part of 5 hours and I decided to go eat at Long John Silvers. WORST.DECISION.EVER. 20 minutes later, CODE 2. If you aren't familiar, that's a sudden, unsettling need to shit. So i head home, handle my B.I. and then end up throwing up for the next 2 hours. Bedridden at 5:30 p.m. on the day of the drink. What a failure.
I have been sleeping on the couch (well, more like rolling around trying to find a few minutes of shut eye like a crack head) so as to not disturb TBC while she gets her beauty rest.
I have been sick, but more importantly, my Dr. refused to refill my "medication".
Just know this, everything I write on this blog is tamed down with xanax, you don't want to know me on a 3 day withdrawl.
I finally got into the Dr. yesterday, layed the smack down on his candy ass (yes that is a reference to Dwayne "the rock" Johnson), and got STOCKED THE FUCK UP.
I'm back in good shape so things are looking up.
I've been hittin the twitter HARD.
follow me: Ollie on Twitter.
Also, show some love to the folks in my blogroll...
Big ups to Lake and Brock over at uvtblog.com for showin some love and joining the NPB march madness challenge.
Big shouts to JonnyD, Royal, ElCapitan, and Drama from code2ave.
Big shouts to the new homie/twitter follower/fashion blogger Cliff from Anatomy blog.
New throwback Thursday joints will be up later. I'm locked into the ncaa tourney right now and Memphis is down 6 to fucking Northridge. Talk about a bracket buster.
-Ollie
St. Paddy's was awful. I started throwin back beers at like 9 a.m. and ended up at Froggies around 11:00. We strong armed Becks for the better part of 5 hours and I decided to go eat at Long John Silvers. WORST.DECISION.EVER. 20 minutes later, CODE 2. If you aren't familiar, that's a sudden, unsettling need to shit. So i head home, handle my B.I. and then end up throwing up for the next 2 hours. Bedridden at 5:30 p.m. on the day of the drink. What a failure.
I have been sleeping on the couch (well, more like rolling around trying to find a few minutes of shut eye like a crack head) so as to not disturb TBC while she gets her beauty rest.
I have been sick, but more importantly, my Dr. refused to refill my "medication".
Just know this, everything I write on this blog is tamed down with xanax, you don't want to know me on a 3 day withdrawl.
I finally got into the Dr. yesterday, layed the smack down on his candy ass (yes that is a reference to Dwayne "the rock" Johnson), and got STOCKED THE FUCK UP.
I'm back in good shape so things are looking up.
I've been hittin the twitter HARD.
follow me: Ollie on Twitter.
Also, show some love to the folks in my blogroll...
Big ups to Lake and Brock over at uvtblog.com for showin some love and joining the NPB march madness challenge.
Big shouts to JonnyD, Royal, ElCapitan, and Drama from code2ave.
Big shouts to the new homie/twitter follower/fashion blogger Cliff from Anatomy blog.
New throwback Thursday joints will be up later. I'm locked into the ncaa tourney right now and Memphis is down 6 to fucking Northridge. Talk about a bracket buster.
-Ollie
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Im On Twitter:
Oliver Wrist is now available to follow all day long on Twitter.
Follow Me Hoe!
On another note, this is officially the 300th post. Shame this landmark is wasted telling you to follow my stupid twitter account.
Blah. Got some other goodies for that ass later this afternoon.
But seriously,
Follow Me Hoe!
Follow Me Hoe!
Follow Me Hoe!
Follow Me Hoe!
Follow Me Hoe!
Follow Me Hoe!
On another note, this is officially the 300th post. Shame this landmark is wasted telling you to follow my stupid twitter account.
Blah. Got some other goodies for that ass later this afternoon.
But seriously,
Follow Me Hoe!
Follow Me Hoe!
Follow Me Hoe!
Follow Me Hoe!
Follow Me Hoe!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Who The Fuck Cares??
I was clickin around the internets and stumbled over to one of my many sources for celebrity rumors and gossip. It's not what the tabloids were saying today that bothered me, it was the list of the top 10 celebrity searches on their site...
#10 Miley Cyrus
Every Pedophiles nightmare (i.e. tall, awkward, and most likely already broken in). I can see the tweeny boppers goin' ape shit for this little twit, but grown ass motherfuckers that are logging onto celebuzz.com are searching for Miley Cyrus? As the great uncle that I am, I have literally sat through hours of this mind numbing torture that Disney has been subjecting our youth to for the last several years. I just don't see what all the fuss is about. She talks like a dude. She overacts everything. She has HUGE feet. She can't sing. She DEFINITELY can't dance, but somehow the youth of America is still hysterical over Miley Cyrus.
Fuck Miley Cyrus.
#9 Megan Fox
I get it. She's hot. But this dumb trick is/was dating fucking Brian Austin Green. Yeah, that guy. From Beverly Hills 90210? Yep. How fuckin' "awesome" is this chick if she lets the likes of B.A.G. hit? (I tried to ignore it, but I have to speak on it. The guy's initials spell bag. That lends itself to far too many jokes.) All bullshitting aside, she is one of Hollywood's hottest chicks right now. The tattoo's, the attitude, the J's, errrrrrythang. She's got it. How the fuck is she #9? You wanna know who is above her on the most searched celebrity list?
#8 Suri Cruise
HAHAHAHA. Yes. That ugly little offspring of Satan and Katie Holmes. I'm not gonna go in on Suri anymore than that because she is going to have a really fucked up life with Tom Cruise playin daddy and forcing that scientology bullshit on her. What I want to address is why the fuck people are searching the web for Suri Cruise? The little snot is not even 2 years old and is more downloaded that Megan FUCKING Fox?
(Pulls out finger gun, points at head, pulls trigger)
#7 Taylor Lautner
Wait WHO???
Exactly. Some little twirp villian from Twilight. I'm so fucking glad I didn't see that shitbag movie. He is the top result returned when you type "worst fucking hair ever" into google search.
#6 Kendra Wilkinson
First off, big ups to Kendra for keepin it extra funky in that L.T. jersey. But that's where the praise stops. Now normally I like slutty girls with daddy issues, that drink too much and constantly seek approval by taking off all of their clothes. Kendra though, this bitch looks like a horse. Turrble skin. Awful hair/weave. BIG ASS TEETH that look like piano keys. Shes just wack, straight up. Hugh gives this tramp the boot and it looks like the world is finally rid of her and her stupid bullshit, but E! shits on all my hopes and dreams and gives this horse face her OWN spin off from the girls next door. GOOD LAWD!
#5 Kristen Stewart
A.K.A. Fuckin' Permastoned. I honestly don't give half of a rat's dick about whether or not this girl smokes tree. However, the rest of the world obviously does therefore you can't see a picture where she doesn't have her eyes slammed. I think it's a front. I think this bitch has a slight case of downs syndrome and uses the "pothead" card as a pass. Real "stoners" for lack of a better word, don't broadcast to the world that they are high all the time. they don't need the attention. Bitch, we get it, you're "hip". Fuck You.
#4 Britney Spears
Too bad Britney hasn't looked like that since I graduated high school. By the way, there's a video floating around on youtube (that I don't care enough to find) of Britney saying something like "Oh my god, my whole pussy is hanging out" during one of her recent performances. Soooo, tell us something we don't know Britney. You literally have the ugliest pussy of all time. Bar none.
#3 Chris Brown
Mr. Ike Turner Jr. This cat is taking his fashion cues from Kanye/Pharrel circa 2004. Someone needs to tell your boy that terrorist scarves, pink BAPE hoodies, and 3/4 cocked backwards fitteds are fuckin OUT. (no Kenny Powers. If you don't get that joke, FUCK YOU.) The ass whoopin's aside, this dude is just plain awful. I haven't liked a single thing he has put out since the beginning of his illustrious career. Oh whats that you say? He's only 19 and hasn't done shit for music? You're right. Guess what? Fuck Chris Brown.
#2 Rihanna
Remember when I called this shit a little over a month ago? Chris Brown and Rihanna's careers were gonna reach all new heights? Let that be a lesson to you young ladies tryin to break into pop music. Just get out of pocket with your man, let him lump your head and split your lip and watch those record sales sky rocket. Oh yeah, Fuck Rihanna and her stupid music.
#1 Robert Pattinson
Remember when this kid was cedric Diggory in the Harry Potter flicks? Now he's a fuckin heartthrob supposedly fuckin #9 Megan Fox? Are you kidding me. Ladies of the BAMA, please weigh in on this. Is this cat good looking? He literally looks like #5 Kristen Stewart's retarded stunt double.
In closing, Fuck celebrities. That is, until I become one, at which time you can all be thankful for ever having the chance to buy me a drink.
Speaking of which, anyone interested in buying me some beers? I'm broke.
-Ollie the Hateful
#10 Miley Cyrus
Every Pedophiles nightmare (i.e. tall, awkward, and most likely already broken in). I can see the tweeny boppers goin' ape shit for this little twit, but grown ass motherfuckers that are logging onto celebuzz.com are searching for Miley Cyrus? As the great uncle that I am, I have literally sat through hours of this mind numbing torture that Disney has been subjecting our youth to for the last several years. I just don't see what all the fuss is about. She talks like a dude. She overacts everything. She has HUGE feet. She can't sing. She DEFINITELY can't dance, but somehow the youth of America is still hysterical over Miley Cyrus.
Fuck Miley Cyrus.
#9 Megan Fox
I get it. She's hot. But this dumb trick is/was dating fucking Brian Austin Green. Yeah, that guy. From Beverly Hills 90210? Yep. How fuckin' "awesome" is this chick if she lets the likes of B.A.G. hit? (I tried to ignore it, but I have to speak on it. The guy's initials spell bag. That lends itself to far too many jokes.) All bullshitting aside, she is one of Hollywood's hottest chicks right now. The tattoo's, the attitude, the J's, errrrrrythang. She's got it. How the fuck is she #9? You wanna know who is above her on the most searched celebrity list?
#8 Suri Cruise
HAHAHAHA. Yes. That ugly little offspring of Satan and Katie Holmes. I'm not gonna go in on Suri anymore than that because she is going to have a really fucked up life with Tom Cruise playin daddy and forcing that scientology bullshit on her. What I want to address is why the fuck people are searching the web for Suri Cruise? The little snot is not even 2 years old and is more downloaded that Megan FUCKING Fox?
(Pulls out finger gun, points at head, pulls trigger)
#7 Taylor Lautner
Wait WHO???
Exactly. Some little twirp villian from Twilight. I'm so fucking glad I didn't see that shitbag movie. He is the top result returned when you type "worst fucking hair ever" into google search.
#6 Kendra Wilkinson
First off, big ups to Kendra for keepin it extra funky in that L.T. jersey. But that's where the praise stops. Now normally I like slutty girls with daddy issues, that drink too much and constantly seek approval by taking off all of their clothes. Kendra though, this bitch looks like a horse. Turrble skin. Awful hair/weave. BIG ASS TEETH that look like piano keys. Shes just wack, straight up. Hugh gives this tramp the boot and it looks like the world is finally rid of her and her stupid bullshit, but E! shits on all my hopes and dreams and gives this horse face her OWN spin off from the girls next door. GOOD LAWD!
#5 Kristen Stewart
A.K.A. Fuckin' Permastoned. I honestly don't give half of a rat's dick about whether or not this girl smokes tree. However, the rest of the world obviously does therefore you can't see a picture where she doesn't have her eyes slammed. I think it's a front. I think this bitch has a slight case of downs syndrome and uses the "pothead" card as a pass. Real "stoners" for lack of a better word, don't broadcast to the world that they are high all the time. they don't need the attention. Bitch, we get it, you're "hip". Fuck You.
#4 Britney Spears
Too bad Britney hasn't looked like that since I graduated high school. By the way, there's a video floating around on youtube (that I don't care enough to find) of Britney saying something like "Oh my god, my whole pussy is hanging out" during one of her recent performances. Soooo, tell us something we don't know Britney. You literally have the ugliest pussy of all time. Bar none.
#3 Chris Brown
Mr. Ike Turner Jr. This cat is taking his fashion cues from Kanye/Pharrel circa 2004. Someone needs to tell your boy that terrorist scarves, pink BAPE hoodies, and 3/4 cocked backwards fitteds are fuckin OUT. (no Kenny Powers. If you don't get that joke, FUCK YOU.) The ass whoopin's aside, this dude is just plain awful. I haven't liked a single thing he has put out since the beginning of his illustrious career. Oh whats that you say? He's only 19 and hasn't done shit for music? You're right. Guess what? Fuck Chris Brown.
#2 Rihanna
Remember when I called this shit a little over a month ago? Chris Brown and Rihanna's careers were gonna reach all new heights? Let that be a lesson to you young ladies tryin to break into pop music. Just get out of pocket with your man, let him lump your head and split your lip and watch those record sales sky rocket. Oh yeah, Fuck Rihanna and her stupid music.
#1 Robert Pattinson
Remember when this kid was cedric Diggory in the Harry Potter flicks? Now he's a fuckin heartthrob supposedly fuckin #9 Megan Fox? Are you kidding me. Ladies of the BAMA, please weigh in on this. Is this cat good looking? He literally looks like #5 Kristen Stewart's retarded stunt double.
In closing, Fuck celebrities. That is, until I become one, at which time you can all be thankful for ever having the chance to buy me a drink.
Speaking of which, anyone interested in buying me some beers? I'm broke.
-Ollie the Hateful
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