NICKELPLATEDBAMA: March 2012

Monday, March 26, 2012

Action Bronson: Stamp of Approval

I know I've been gone a while, but don't let that lead you to think that I've been sleepin' on what's really hood... Speakin' of hood, I need to direct your attention to my dude Action Bronson who is really doin things...

Anyone who knows me, knows 2 things as the absolute gospel of pope truth about me... #1. I am a self loathing asshole w/ a silver tongue and a knack for general "notgivafuckness" and #2. I very rarely will even listen to, let alone give a stamp of approval to, ANYONE in the hip hop game that wasn't doin' the damn thing prior to, let's say........... 2004, give or take a year... Save for a few very select individuals, my personal opinion is that hip hop has done nothing but go downhill since right around 2004... New jack rappers, auto-tuned bullshit, and an overall lack of talent have been ABUNDANT since I gave up on hip hop music. Thus the reason "Throwback Thursday's" came about. Hip hop music has been vital to my upbringing. It groomed me into the man I am today. So I hold the torch, with the sincerest conviction for those that really knew what it took to craft quality music back when quality music was being put out, and more importantly, back when it mattered... Nowadays, in order to be successful in the hip hop world all you need to do is write a hook teaching me how to do some bootsy ass dance, or flood the airwaves with "songs" about lovin' a woman (cough..DRAKE..cough). Long gone are the days of grimey high hats, hard snares, and diggin' for old jazz records to find samples to produce a beat... The internet has made making beats and recording tracks easier than scoopin' your mom dukes for a one night stand after 2 appletini's at happy hour, which has led to a shameless oversaturation of garbage rap music gettin passed onto the people as quality hip hop music. WRONG. The shit is soft. Hip hop is too nice these days. FUCK that. I want cocaine raps, I want diss tracks, I want "I want to kill you" music.

BUT, I did say above "save for a few very select individuals"... Enter my man Action Bronson. He is the perfect mix of ghostface killah (Wu-Tang) with a sprinkle of Ill Bill of Non-Phixion fame. My man AB is bringin' back that good ol' fashioned agressive delivery/gritty beats/grimey persona that blend so well together you can't help but nod your head and want to punch people in the face. Long live hip hop music...

And one more for the road...

-Ollie da Don

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Damn Son, like... Where you been Ollie??

Hey, hello, how are ya? to all my loyal subjects both; young and old, skinny and fat, male and female alike... It has been an ungodly amount of time since I last posted on the world's most self interested and insanely sexist blog... Now I know you all want to know where I've been, and what the hell could have causes such a monumental fall off such as this, but trust in one thing if you've never trusted in me about anything else at all (yeah right, you take my words as gospel): I am coming back. HARD. With a serious vengeance. I have a newly recharged battery, and I am going to be melting faces and blowing minds like never before... I am working out some small little details with domain issues, and blogger publishing malfunctions, but do believe that young Ollie da Don will be back in full force by Monday March 26th, at the absolute LATEST. (But if I was you, I'd check back every day until then, you never know when I might sneak a post up) You can take that statement to the bank... In the meantime, do yourselves a favor and make your way over to the newly formed:

Instagram: nickelplatedbama

Twitter: @OliverWrist

Facebook: Oliver Wrist

Facebook Fan Page: via Oliver Wrist facebook you can find the link to the nickelplatedbama fan page: Nickel Plated Bama

Tumblr: http://www.nickelplatedbama.tumblr.com

I will come back later to make all of the above links clickable hyperlinks for all you lazy bastards that won't do the work for yourselves...

And whatever you do, if you really want to see this page up and rollin again, go join all the new pages if you arent already members for some dumb ass reason...

Ollie loves the kids (and sometimes even you idiots)...

-Sir Oliver Wrist

First Time Here?

If this is your first time stopping by NickelPlatedBama, I would suggest getting a feel for the blog by going through the archives. There have been too many classic posts to count. If you disagree with an opinion here on the site, make it public. The writer of this blog suffers from a rare condition that allows him to feel absolutely zero remorse when attacking a person's character or, in most cases, lack there of. Please feel free to enjoy, hate, participate, tell a friend to tell 2 friends, but always, ALWAYS stop back here again tomorrow, as you never know what this looney bastard might say next...

Directly below this box you will find an interview with Oliver Wrist by Oliver Wrist that should serve as an FAQ. Anything else you want to know, Oliver will literally answer any and all questions you may have, so don't be shy, shoot an email to Oliver Wrist at: nickelplatedbamadotcom@gmail.com

Nickel Plated Bama: Who? What? When? Where? Why? and How?

Who writes NickelPlatedBama?

Oliver Wrist writes, edits, designs, takes photos, and publishes NickelPlatedBama personally Monday-Friday. Oliver Wrist is an alter ego that I created as a means of getting things off of my chest. Ollie is irrational and flagrant. Once boos are introduced, the hillarity ensues. Rather than feel bad, Oliver chooses to embrace his lunacy and use his shamelessness for a greater good. Oliver's travels and opinions are documented on an almost daily basis. I say almost daily because I don't work on weekends.

What is NickelPlatedBama? What is A Nickel Plated Bama?

Nickelplatedbama is a face-melting social commentary blog written from the perspective of a self absorbed asshole with no shame or morals to speak of. If you're into hip hop music, silky smooth breezys, absurdly opinionated witty banter and reading the rants of an anti-social, overly confident, self absorbed "writer" (for lack of a better word) please continue. NickelPlatedBama is a source for venting and bashing, hating and thrashing, shitting and blasting on everything from bad food to bad music and everything in between. I don't hate everything however. NickelPlatedBama and more importantly Oliver Wrist praise iconic figures such as the ever elusive white girl thickness, mid-'90's hip hop, fashion, graffiti, art, ice cold behavior, celebreality t.v., Chicago Cubs baseball, San Diego Chargers football, College Basketball, Early '90's WWF wrestling, laughing at other peoples misfortunes, and generally acting like a complete type-a sociopath.

Nickel Plated Bama is extra gutter street slang for a nickel (the precious metal) plated hand cannon. You know, a burner, a strap, a gat, a tre pound, a whistle, or for the uninitiated a gun.

When did NickelPlatedBama get started?

Oliver Wrist has been the other half of my split personality for years. It originally started as my DJ'ing name. My career as a DJ lasted only about as long as it took me to write this BIO. As it turns out, I am an awful DJ. Not because I play bad records, but because I butcher the scratches. My brother, Young Smalls, a.k.a. DJ Fuzzy Badfeet, has taken over the reigns and is now my own personal DJ. Although Smalls refuses to accept the things I have taught him since birth as doctrine, he still gets the Oliver Wrist stamp of approval as a purveyor of all things mixed well. He uses my turntables, my mixer, and my records to do his thug-thizzle, but he is a much better DJ than I could ever be, so I just give him enough shit to remain enthusiastic. Being that my foray into the DJ world went south, I decided to use writing as a tool to express myself creatively. Thus far it has proven somewhat successful. How do I know? Well, you're reading this aren't you?

Where did you come up with NickelPlatedBama?

I have spent so much of my valuable time force-feeding the readers of this blog my personal musical preferences (Read: mid-'90's new york hip hop, ign'ant pimp shit, '90's bay area movement, etc.) and blasting all these idiots that set themselves up for utter failure everytime they open their mouth, or press record on the video camera over the last few months, that I forgot to ever place the credit where the credit was due. Nickel Plated Bama is a reference to a line in a song from the 808 King himself (No not you Kanye). I'm talking about The RZA. a.k.a. Bobby Digital. a.k.a. Bobby Boulders. a.k.a. The Abbot. a.k.a. The head of the Wu-Tang dynasty. When I came up with the idea to start writing a blog, I wanted to name it something that most people wouldn't understand right out of the gate, creating a buzz as a result of the inherent curiousity of the average internet lurker. The result was a line from a Bobby Digital album where RZA says "my head is a like a Nickel Plated Bamma". I guess I should just go ahead and spell it out for you. Instead of using an obvious title such as "The Smoking Gun" (besides, it was already taken) for a blog name, I decided to get creative. So, with this blog title, I pay homage to one of my favorite, not only rappers, but creator of things, and still stay sharper than a sword with the usage of metaphor in describing the gun (my keyboard) i use to roast those i deem indesirable.

See above question titled "What is a Nickel Plated Bama".

Why?

Why not is a better question. I hate alot of shit. I want people to know that I hate aforementioned "shit". This was covered in the above section titled "Who writes Nickel Plated Bama".

How do you pronounce the "BAMA"?

It recently came to my attention while I was in the streets passing out stickers and shamelessly promoting this blog that alot of people were mispronouncing the "BAMA". I will make it very easy for you all.

Think Alabama. Don't think Obama. Are we clear now? I really hope so.

Disclaimer:

While most opinions on this site are based in fact, they are merely that, opinions. If you take this shit seriously OR anything that Oliver Wrist has to say personally, than it was definitely directed at you. If you are easily offended, read on, YOU are the target audience. And ladies, Oliver Wrist is the Asshole your mother warned you about. Oliver Wrist is extremely self absorbed and could not care less if your feelings get hurt. If you disagree with anything Oliver Wrist has to say, please make it public, so that Oliver Wrist may be able to roast you publicly.

Sincerely,

The Management

Nickelplatedbama 2008-2009