Friday, November 6, 2009

Photo dump

I've been on my job takin flicks pretty hard in these streets the last month or so. These are a bunch of flicks I snapped. Enjoy...

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Almost caused a wreck to get this. Ol boy was slumpin hard on his 16" cruiser.

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Slow down and let the golddiggers count my spokes...

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Carnivore.

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Jheri curls are makin power moves amongst the tweens.

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Catering to the tastes of the border brothers.

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His homies were holdin him up. I've never seen jelly legs like this in my life.

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Horse race hat?

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Mustache rides are different in spanish.

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That facial hair tells me that homie aint to be trifled with.

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I asked if he was holdin it for his girl.. "Nah".

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Gassed on the bud light chick.

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She's like a 6.8

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I like this flick.

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As always, if you have a beard, youre good with me.

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R.I.P. Think Skateboards.

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Did you see that pony tail coming? Cause I sure as hell didn't.

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Yep.

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Twizted holmes.

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Maybe better than above moustache.

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Pooka shells and thriller jacket. nice moves.

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Lay it out there.

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My form is flawless.

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Ran out 3 racks, hung the last ball. 15 beers deep at the fair. Those games are rigged, but i'm nice with the cue stick.

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Odelay!

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Young Noah, the protege.

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Gettin hassled by the piggies.

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Latin heat.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Halloween 2009.

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Leeloo.

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"What are you supposed to be?"... "Bad fucking ass."

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These boots are major. Heavy in the streets.

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This photo is official.

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Sesame Street. Heavy in the streets like the seven series beemer mayne...

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Magnum P.I.

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Surprisingly, the only M.J. I saw all night.

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I can't call it.

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Even a broken hand aint slowin him down.

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A chola chick, that'll shank ya dick...

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Funky chicken?

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Rad.

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After about 20 drinks, I was convinced this was John Gosselin.

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"Who the fuck pushed me down?"

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yessir.

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Red haired girls rule.

Thats it for now. I should really put my game face on and post the rest of the flicks from Venice.

-Ollirazzi

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Yankees Win!!!

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Big fuckin deal. Let the bandwagon riding "I've always been a fan" bitchassness begin. Seriously, how are the Yankees not gonna win? Wasn't like 75% of their roster on the AL all-star team this year? The fuck outta here dude. It was set in stone. I don't like to buy into baseball conspiracy (it's too great of a game), but the Yankees win the World Series, at home in the NEW 80 bazillion dollar replica of former Yankee stadium, first year it's operational? Seems fishy. Farildo. Yankees had this shit wrapped up in Philly more than once, but dump the game(s) to take it home, stretch the series for them commercial dollars, and lock it in AT HOME.

Think about it. How much loot is lost when a series is a 4 game sweep? That air time during the world series doesn't come cheap, and Fox knows this. Especially when you got 2 East Coast teams dueling for the championship. So when the series goes 6, Fox is cleaning up.

For the record, I watched a total of 35 minutes of playoff/world series baseball this year. As soon as the Cubbies mailed it in right around August, baseball lost it's flavor with the quickness. I mean, seriously, all this means to me is that I have to burn yet another cubbies hat and add another year to the neverending story that is "the lovable losers from Chi-town".

Just cause it makes me laugh, I'm gonna run this joint again...

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I will not front on A-Rod's ability to change a game with the glove OR the bat at any given time, but my man really needs to tighten up that belt and quit exhibiting so many feminine qualities.

Highlights in your wig piece? Check.

Eyes closed in extasy while a grown ass Asian DUDE is caressing your bare chest? CHIZECK!

Why does this photo exist? I mean really, in what situation did A-Rod's manager/agent/wife/someone who cares allow this to happen? Why is this acceptable behavior? And more importantly, why is this the only photo from the photoshoot? What happened to the rest of the series? What lines were crossed?

Nevermind. Don't answer that.

-O-Rod

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

I'm Going to Harvard

Traditionally, Harvard has been known as the upper tier temple of higher learning. Whether it be law, medical, etc. Harvard has had the game in a yoke for a minute. Sorry Brock and Lake at Us versus Them, I know ya'll are big Duke fans and everything... but yo, back to the point..

Other than academics, Harvard is straight pussy. I mean in every single other facet of life. A safe haven for middle and upper class white yuppies to go get a degree to hang on their wall and never use, because daddy's money will hold 'em over 'til he eventually kicks the proverbial bucket and that nice little inheritance kicks in.

You know I'm only half serious of course, generalizing an entire establishment such as Harvard as a collection of self entitled rich suburban kids is just ridiculous, because of this announcement that just came off the line...

Harvard is now offering a new course based exclusively on HBO’s hit T.V. show “The Wire”.

Yeah I said it. Click that link to get schooled up.

So obviously I have put in my bid to be accepted to Harvard based solely on my knowledge of "The Wire".

Cat's don't know... Let me learn ya. The Wire is without a doubt, the most gangster television show in the history of TV. Yes, better than "The Sopranos", even better than "Sons of Anarchy" (and that hurts me to say cause that show is truly BFA and better than anything else on right now).

Let's catch up a bit...



Now, moving on, Harvard (yes that Harvard) voted via a panel of teachers, students, elites, etc. and gave the green light to use this show as a means to educate students on the rough state of urban society. As Profesor William J. Wilson said:

"I do not hesitate to say that it has done more to enhance our understanding of the challenges of urban life and the problems of urban inequality, more than any other media event or scholarly publication," Wilson told the audience before poking fun at himself, "including studies by social scientitsts."

Now I have a few questions:

1. Will there be character breakdowns and debates as to who was the hardest of hard out there in those Baltimore streets?

Let's examine the characters:

First up we got Avon Barksdale...

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I mean, what is there to say about this cat? Avon ruled with an iron fist, stackin loot taller than Manut Bull and still had the stones to body fools himself.

Next, we got Omar...

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Yo, for real, this cat was so hard that the dope-spot stash houses would just throw the g-packs from 2 floors up out of fear that he would kill everyone. Oh, and did I mention he had this much street cred while being a blatant homosexual? You gotta respect that..

Now we come to Marlo Stanfield...

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No words, Im'ma let this video do the talkin...



"My NAME WAS IN THE STREETS!!?"

Man, Marlo was easily the most ice cold, heartless, kill his momma for $2 dollars type a cat, quietly, the little young'n Michael was the hardest out.

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First body before he could drive? CHECK. Took out Snoop? CHECK. Stepped to Marlo? CHIZECK.

matter of fact, lets run some clips...



Now I know that whole bit about "never was one of us" might throw some folks but just know, Michael intended it to be that way. Playin it separate, askin questions, makin himself look soft, all that did was make his game that much tighter.

I give up. I can't call it. I have even forgotten the rest of my questions relating to this shit cause i'm stuck on youtube watchin clip after clip of The Wire.

Get you some.

-Ollie Stanfield

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Hollywood part 1

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True dat.

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Fuck the Joker, look at the cut on homeboy's head!

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"You got any tips for me?" Get a real job.

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Hand stitched.

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Polar Bear Club. Face melters.

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So I went to a punk rock show... Fuck you.

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jailbait.

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my dude right here.

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What up tho... Told you I'd put you up.

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The new age Zach De la Rocha.

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This place was trill.

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Moshpits. Really? Were still doin that?

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This kid was hyped the fuck up. I remember him being the only one dancin around. reminded me of that scene in "Nick and Norah's Infinite playlist" where the little asian kid is all hype on the dance floor dolo breakdancin for that band "R U Randy" or whatever. Don't judge me. I'm a sucker for teen angst..

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yeaaaaahhhh...

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New fam.

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Over it.

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I'm about 90% sure these girls never went into the show. Just col' lampin...

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This picture speaks volumes.

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cool goat Anthrax guy.

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If you got a beard, you're cool with me.

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Thicky thickerson stage right. That was an accidental photo, but then i noticed that ol' girl was workin with some thighs but i couldn't flip it in time to peep the tail... Next time, I won't miss.

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Life.

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Iceberg... I think that's what he told me his name was. Peep stage left tho, homegirl's arm is livin large.

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Just creeped on these cats mashin the streets with what i presume to be stolen carved pumpkins. They thought I was paparazzi, Told 'em to kick back, I was on the same team.

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They put me on as an honorary star for my visit. You know what it is.

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Cool cats. I tried to convince em I could bust a kickflip first try. Yeah right. By this point I had to have crushed 12 heinekens...

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Walked into this bar for a piss. The bathroom was down 2 flights of stairs, when i came back up, my man was doin a serious MJ impression.

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One for the money.

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Quietly, this bird was kinda fly.

The rest of the pictures are cued up and loading into photobucket. If I get the inspiration to do so, I'll hit you off with another set of flicks this afternoon.

As for the rest of the night, Went to the divest bar we could find, vodka tonics and jager?? Fuck. Rolled out as the boys from Polar Bear Club were rollin in. Homie gave me the "where you goin" look, but I ain't no groupie, so we were out.

Part 2 later.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Man Laws:

1. If you can grow a beard, grow a fucking beard. PERIOD.

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2. After the age of 12, any physical pain you suffer shall not result in tears. I don't care if you've compound fractured your femur, suck that shit up and rub some dirt on it.

3. After you have experienced your first heartbreak, crying over a woman is a waste of valuable time that could be better spent chopping down trees and enjoying that massive beard you have grown since that bitch left.

4. It is completely acceptable to cry during the movies "Fried Green Tomatoes" and "Old Yeller".

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5. When given the option to fuck or have your laundry done... Get the laundry done. If she was willing to fuck you before doing the laundry, she will be willing to fuck you after the laundry is done. That laundry ain't gonna do itself.

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6. Never leave the fo' sho' pussy fo some mo' pussy.

7. With the exception of your's truly, YOU are NOT getting any better looking with age.

8. You married your high school sweetheart? Congratulations DICK. You never get to see another stitch of tail for the rest of your life.

9. Drinking on your lunch break is completely acceptable, so long as it is a light beer. Save the leaded for after work.

10. If you can't change a tire, kill yourself RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

11. There is no such thing as "the right one", there's the one you want, the one you got, the one you could never have, and the one you wished you never met. In no particular order, of course.

12. If you have won every fight you've ever been in, you haven't been in enough fights.

13. You don't pay the hooker to fuck you, you pay her to leave.

14. If the restaurant does not have a minimum of 3 DIFFERENT cuts of red meat, walk the fuck out.

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15. Mother comes before all other females.

16. Happiness, for the most part, is completely fabricated. The only truly happy people in the world are the people who, in all sincerity, do not give a FUCK.

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17. The number of true friends you have in this world can be measured on one hand, anything beyond that, you don't comprehend TRUE friends.

18. If you are still currently backing Obama's health care initiative, your balls are gone.

19. Respect is earned, never given.

20. Silence is golden.

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21. If your girl has more guy friends than girl friends, she's cheating on you.

22. All women are sisters and would rather eat your heart than give birth to your spawn.

23. If you've never caught a fish... I don't even have to finish.

More on this later...

-Ollie