Friday, October 31, 2008

A milestone on the BAMA!!!!

This is officially the 100th post on NICKELPLATEDBAMA and i couldnt be happier about the topic.

It has been rumored for a while now, but it became official yesterday that two of my favorite things are coming together.

Samuel L. Jackson has been cast as Sho'nuff in the remake of Barry Gordy's "The Last Dragon". If you're not familiar with my affection for the movie you can get caught up by CLICKING HERE.

Thats right folks this bad muhfucka right here:

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will be havin bitches "kiss his converse" and generally ackin real ign'ant as this icey bastard rite chea:

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I can't think of a better casting than Samuel L. Jackson here. He has that really aggressive speech pattern and overly loud speaking voice. With Sam dipped in red fur and donning that crazy ass wig piece, He is going to absolutely kill it as Sho'nuff.

I personally cannot wait. Word hasn't hit the skreets saying who will play Bruce Leroy or the role of "Vanity" in the flick. Trust in your boy Ollie, as soon as i know, you will know.

-Ollie the centennial post!!

Happy Halloween

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Gratuitous shot of the definition of white girl thickness. I know, I know, Kimmy K is enhanced with silicone and suspected of juicin up that backyard and she's not actually a "white" girl, but who really cares with curves like that.

Anywho, Happy Halloween readers.

Get Educated

As a blogger, it is my job to keep the people up to date on shit that matters to me. I was reading through one of my favorite blogs thegluttony.com and got this breakdown of all of the California Props. Read up, get informed, and go vote next Tuesday. Unless of course you're a boss like me and have already cast your vote via absentee.

The list of props will give you a basic rundown of the proposition, one pro and one con to passing it.

Prop #1: build a new high speed railroad between San Francisco and Los Angeles
Pro: faster than traveling by car
Con: It costs 9.95 billion dollars and 100% of the cost comes from taxes

Prop#2: Improve overall conditions and treatment of farm animals
Pro: its humane and improves food safety and cleanliness
Con: minimally raise costs for farmers

Prop #3: 980,000,000 towards the construction and remodeling of children’s hospitals
Pro: improves quality of life for patients and does not raise taxes
Con: its an expensive state expense

Prop #4: amends california constitution to require a 48 hr parental notification prior to a minor’s abortion
Pro: Its only a notification, parental permission is not required, does not apply in the cases of a medical emergency
Con: parent has a chance to stop the abortion

Prop#5: improve drug treatment programs and more opportunity for non-violent drug abusers to attend rehab instead of prison. Lessens penalty for small marijuana possession from a misdemeanor to an infraction.
Pro: decreased prison overcrowding, healthier and more thorough treatment for non violent drug abusers
Con: More leniency for drug abusers

Prop #6: more money towards law enforcement and higher penalties for crimes related to abuse of firearms and gang involvement
Pro: less gang and gun violence
Con: expensive for the state, costing almost 1 billion dollars. Prisons are already overcrowded and this will only increase that.

Prop #7: requires 20% of electricity to come from renewable energy by 2010, 40% by 2020 and 50% 2025
Pro: better for environment and depleting natural resources, costs less for energy users in the long term
Con: will force smaller companies out of the market

Prop #8: Amend california constitution to prohibit gay marriage
Pro: helps conservative control freaks sleep better at night
Con: Discriminatory, unnecessary and invasive

Prop #9 Increases crime victim’s rights in relation to parole hearings and criminal justice process
Pro: rights are broadened and more clearly outlines
Con: Unnecessary and could cost billions of dollars in a time of budget constraint

Prop #10 5 billion dollars towards alternative energy research and hybrid car incentives
Pro: Cleaner environment and decreased depletion of natural resources
Con: Arbitrary shelling out of money to people who already own hybrid cars, so it is not much of an incentive but more like a reward. California budget crisis!

Prop #11: Puts redistricting process in the hands of a 14-member non-partisan commission instead of elected politicians
Pro: Process becomes more fair and neutral because the 14-member commission does not have a hidden agenda
Con: complete reformation of original process

Prop #12: 900,000,000 towards loans for veterans to put towards purchase of homes
Pro: could drastically decrease homelessness
Con: Expensive for the state


Let me say this, You cannot consider yourself a pimp/gangster/hustler/social icon if you do not vote in this election.

McCain doesnt stand a chance in California, but he got my vote.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

question: Is Kat Deluna a candidate for bbotd??

i know what youre thinkin, who?? yeah, i know, shes a horrible R&B/Pop singer thats signed to Konvikt Music (Akon's label). To be honest, up until 2 minutes prior to writing this post i had never even heard her sing a note. I youtubed her, and my suspicions quickly became reality as i found out just how bad (and thats bad meaning bad, not bad meaning good) she really is.

In this day and age, it makes ZERO difference whether you can/can't sing, its all a matter of good looks and your marketability, so i ask you folks...

Is Kat Deluna worthy of bbotd (bad bitch of the day) title??

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Im likin what i see in that thigh game, thats a definite. She's dominican so you know she got it from her mama, and there is no doubt she works hard to keep it tight, cause a couple cheeseburgers and a winter layoff will have ol' girl on the shelf permanently.

Lets have a look at that backyard:

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Im not quite sold here. I understand that Kat is a small girl, but with thickness of the thighs in the picture above, i was hopin to see a little more hook and arch.

***for those that arent familiar with the term "hook and arch" let me explain. the arch is where the lower back meets the top of the tail, in a quality backyard it should have a nice slope, somewhere around 45 degrees works (haha) and the hook is where the tail ends and hooks back into the upper thigh. think Jessica Biel.***

Im likin that side boob angle, shes workin it well. lets get angle 3 please:

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Ok this is the deal breaker for me. Normally i think the chubby cheeks on a small girl is cute (Jessica Alba exemplifies this), but on her it just isnt working for me. Maybe its that hideous make up job, the overly arched eyebrows or the lack of passion in the eyes, but Kat Deluna layed an egg with this last photo.

Overall im gonna give her a rating of (on a scale from 1-10):

hook/tail/arch/thigh = 7
chest plate = 8
face = 7

Overall, thats not a bad score, but the jury is in and Kat Deluna did not make the grade to be a bbotd. Couple that bad make-up game with her turrible ass sangin', and she's nothin more than an average hoodrat from the block. Sorry hunny, but at least we got your picture up and talked about you, which is more than i can say your label is doing for you currently.

-Ollie the magnificent

Lil Wayne's baby momma

Looks like ol' girl is gonna cash in on being the oven that baked up Weezy's latest creation.

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Looks like Weezy got a little of that yellow fever too. I aint mad at that, but isnt Weezy supposedly engaged to this broad:

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who is that?? Thats Lauren London (new-new from ATL). Heres the problem, homegirl has NO ASS whatsoever:

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And when your fuckin wit weezy that backyard's gotta be right, i mean he used to hit this:

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Thats mah girl Trina (the baddest bitch).

When i think about it, isn't weezy supposed to be fuckin superhead too? Damn, homie's hard on em. Do you Weezy, but stop that singin vocoder bullshit. Thanks.

-Dolliemite

New Rule

If you are under the age of 20 and claim to be a fan of KRS-ONE, you are a liar.

Why? you might ask... its simple, KRS is a staple in hip hop, and new jack backpackers think they need to have KRS in the catalog to keep them relevant and "up on hip hop knowledge". eh-uh, I aint havin it. 90% of you people heard of KRS-ONE from Sublime. Dont bullshit.

I am not a fan of KRS, never have been, never will be, even if that means my hip hop pass gets revoked. But seriously kids, stop foolin yourselves, its just not possible to be a KRS fan if you were born in '88.

I cant front, I own Criminal Minded on vinyl, on vinyl , not on my ipod, but thats strictly for nostalgic reasons and has nothing to do with being a fan of the music. I think KRS is the perpetual underground starving MC that gets credit for longevity but really lacks the essentials (see: grimey beats). Granted, KRS is a very socially relevant pro hip hop movement inspirational rapper, but that means completely NOTHING to me.

One positive for KRS though, i've seen him perform live and he really throws it down, one of the livest shows ive been to, but i just cant get down with the music.

So KRS, you get the gas face... and oh yeah, how wide is this fools nose? seriously?

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haha, and did anyone else ever notice that KRS's "dreads" have been the same length for the past 5 or so years? Im sayin...

-Oliver Wrister your girls favorite Mister

Brandy is back

and she walking a very thin line between star and has been. Ive never been a Brandy fan, but I gotta admit, after Ray J went hard on ol' Kimmy K, Brandy suddenly became relevant again.

I just want to make a quick comparison here:

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Am i the only that thinks Brandy has aged terrible and her head/teeth get bigger by the minute??


Brandy, my dear, i think its time to throw in the towel and live off that Moesha money.

-Ollie the hateful

More reason to love the game of GOLF.

Look, i like to golf, in fact id go so far as to say i love it. Its the only "sport" i know that i can play while drinkin beers and cursing like a sailor on port. That being said, i want to get this out of the way, Fuck Tiger, Im a John Daly fan.

Look, homie is a straight up menace to the game. He's weighing in at 300 pounds, smokes cigarettes on the course, drinks during matches and goes hard on the hoes.

Lets run some of that evidence right now:

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This is how i like my sports idols to be. A real man of the people. Although i am now smoke free (approx. 3 months cold turkey) i was an avid smoker for 10+ years.

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This is just great. but it gets better...

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Niether of those is his wife, and as you can see, if he's not on the course, the shirt is completely optional.

Now that we've gotten the build up out of the way, lets get to the news story.

Apparently last night (wednesday) John Daly was gettin his hooters on:

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and after having about 10 too many of these:

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John Daly falls down drunk outside the door of hooters and gets arrested!!! This guy is the best man, the polar opposite of any role model youd ever want your child to have. Hes got a great mugshot too:

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looks like homie has been cuttin his own hair! haha.

The entire story can be found by CLICKING HERE

Moral of this story, John Daly is an icey muhfucka with no self control or ability to decipher socially acceptable behavoir. He is a self indulgent son of a bitch, and for that the BAMA loves him. DO YOU JOHNNY BOY!!!

-Oliver Daly

Throwback broad of the day

Daisy Fuentes. She used to host "The Grind" on MTV with that worthless no talent hack eric nies. Memba him??

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HAHAHA. he was just turrible.

Moving on to the good stuff. Daisy Fuentes is pushin 40+ and still holdin it together very well. Typically (and im not being racist in any way) latina women get worse with age, its just a fact, but Daisy is the exception to that rule. Im 100% positive that chest plate has been enhanced, but i aint mad at her for that.

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And angle 2, that backyard is.. well... just have a look.

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DAYUM!! Airbrushed or not, you can tell honey dip is workin the lunges and squats. Let this be a lesson to you ladies lettin yourself go at 25... Daisy is 40+ and still as tight as ever. All it takes is some effort!!

-Ollie in lust

Gangster Tigers

I think this is a bit from a Katt Williams stand up and somebody put together the cartoon for it. Its worth a watch but definitely not Katt's best cartoon performance.



Anybody watch the boondocks?? Katt Williams killed it as "A Pimp Named Slickback".



The whole bit is funny, but the best part is at the 5:00 minute mark. God damn thats Dolemite hard on a hoe.

-Ollie the kid

Throwback Thursday : joint of the day

Smif-n-wessun - BUCKTOWN off of their certified classic album "dah shinin". This is some '95 shit, and its good to listen to when the world of hip hop is being flooded with concerns of swagger, and "the best rappers in the game" singin through a vocoder on every fuckin track. This is hip hop. This is what i miss. Thank you Smif-n-wessun for keepin it certified gutter from start to finish.



God i love this joint.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Real Chance of Love recap.

Oh boy! Yes, these guys have their own show now.

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Aside from the fact that this show is ridiculously scripted, overly acted, and a complete carbon copy of Flavor of Love, I love New York, and Rock of Love, I still can't get enough. Maybe it's Real's Weave or Chance's over-the-top asshole behavoir, but this show really is captivating.

So, in week one, the guys were given 17 girls to choose from (a breakdown of all the hoes..errr... contestants can be found by CLICKING HERE).

The guys ended up X-ing out:

1. Stalker - she was wild yo, for real CLICK HERE to see some of the videos of her wild'n out on youtube.

2. Isha - she was cute, but her real name is willesha, as in her parents though it was going to be a boy and had their hearts set on william. But ol' girl never gave herself a chance. She played the background and didn't step to either one of these cat-ass fools. The funniest thing was that she started crying hysterically when she wasnt picked after only knowing these cats for like 3 hours.

3. Harmony - Basically Chance called her a skunk because homegirls breath was kickin, unfortunate cause i saw her being a potential catalyst for lunacy in the house.

The way it breaks down is Chance gets to pick 7 hoes for his stable, and Real gets to pick 7 hoes for his stable.

side note: each of the brothers has a catch phrase... "Are you ready to keep it real with me" and "Are you willing to take a chance on a guy like me" respectively.

Episode 1 highlights.

-"Lusty" proves herself to be a complete psychopath by constantly talking to herself.
-"Stalker" acks a fool and gives Chance a "flavor of love" clock, Chance goes hard.
-"So hood" is a straight freak, no question. We've already seen the panties.
-"Bubbles" is a dead ringer for Rosie Perez with her high pitched terribly fake accent.
-"KO" (see: the one who looks pregnant) is a female boxer.
-"MILF" is a 40 year old mother and a straight freak.

Episode 2 recap.

The guys put on a corny ass "Stallionaire town fair" in which each girl has to man a booth and charge tickets for whatever it is they are selling (see: that ass). The two girls who get the most tickets from Chance/Real get to go on a special date with the fellas (a trip to the recording studio). When it comes down to elimination, all girls are up for grabs again (basically the guys can trade hoes, I LOVE THIS CONCEPT).

highlights:

-Chance lets it be known he isnt feelin "Meatball" when he throws her tickets on the ground during the carnival. So, so icey.
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-Real cock blocks Chance and steals "Promo" (who believe it or not is packin a little heat in the backyard.
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-Chance tries to block Real, but "Sexy Legs" doesnt bite, so Chance fully lies and says that the bitch came in his room and layed out "spread eagle" for him. THIS MUHFUCKA!!!
-Chance tries to steal Milf, she refuses to join his team. HAHA.
-Cali strips down to lingerie and is surprisingly well put together.
-Sexy Legs gets the axe.
-We get introduced to the third Stallionaire "Micah", the youngest of the 3 brothers. Fool looks exactly like chance, but has a god awful weave on top.

Can I also say this, the brother's stylist is god awful. Real is constantly rockin these red boots, and the dudes stay dipped in leather with corny ass "LL Cool J's Exclusive sears line" t-shirts and all-over print hoodies and skull/bones trucker caps.

My early prediction is that Rabbit, Corn Fed, So Hood, and KiKi are the final 4. We'll see how the show plays out.

mama said retire already

Apparently LL Cool J has decided to follow in the footsteps of basically every other rapper in the game and launch his own line of clothing. HAHA, this is great. Even better than LL having his own clothing line is the fact that it is available EXCLUSIVELY at Sears. Sears??? Who the fuck shops at sears for anything other than lawnmowers and garden equipment??

As the story goes on, the line jumped off earlier this year (2008) and everything in the line is already discounted 40% to move the product. It is god awful and about 2 years late.

Think Ed Hardy meets Pelle Pelle.

And if that wasnt enough, here is one more rapper Jim Jones can claim stole his swagger, peep LL's get up:

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Aggressively tight extra smedium all over foil print shirt? check.
Pre-distressed skinny jeans with whiskers (see: "sun wrinkles")? check.
Multi color studded belt? check.
Fashionable chain (wallet) with skull charms? check.

We cant see the shoes in the photo but you've gotta assume they are steel toed timberlands. The only thing missing is the Louie Vuitton Scarf/head wrap.

All due respect to LL, i mean the guy basically started Def Jam with Russell and Rick, but isnt it about time to take a step back and live off that movie career dough?

Im jus sayin'.

-Ollie

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Biggavelli's back and mo' ign'ant than ever!



Just press play and listen to this fool get wild. Aside from constantly showing the money (thats a hoe trait fo real), Max B cracks me up. Listen to that laugh of his!! HAHA.

Back tomorrow.

-Ollie the kid

Further proof Americans have lost their minds

Before i get back to bashing this damn list of influential men (that has become the bane of my existence, because i really dont want to look at the list again) i would like to take the time out to give you a couple of definitions.

1. Influential- 1. The Power to affect others. 2. Power to produce effects because of wealth, position, ability, etc.

2. Popularity- 1. Liked by many people.

Now my question... Is this list A) the most influential OR the most popular??

My vote is popular. There is no question in my mind that 40 percent of this list is here strictly because they are media friendly/relevant. I know im not reaching the vastest market in the world, but i like to feel that im more influential than Lewis Hamilton. WHO??? the formula one race car driver...

Back to the verbal lashings...

#24 Lakshmi Mittal

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The look on his face tells his story. This guy took his grandfathers steel business and turned it into a billion dollar industry. This muhfucka right here is the definition of TYCOON. Take notice. This is what every person on Earth should be striving for, a REAL rags to riches story, not a fabrication like 90% of rappers these days.

#23 Johnathan Ive

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This cat is responsible for some of the best techno-toys on the market in the last 5 years. He is the driving force behind everything "I", Iphone, Ipod, Imac, etc. This fool is beastin up and makin Mac that LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG cheese. No issues with him on the list, just his placement.

#22 George Clooney

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Oh hell yeah! Sure, George is a phenomenal actor (i love his character in the Ocean's Eleven series) but more than that he is EASILY the biggest pimp on this list. Unless i missed it somewhere, this guy has been voted sexiest man alive more than once, hes almost 50 years old and STILL unmarried. Thats whats up George. No rings = cuttin up any trick you want to, and believe me George does his share of cuttin. This guy is building a new hotel on the vegas strip, no big deal right? He made it MANDATORY for a stripper pole in every room, as well as a fully stocked bar! This fool loves to party, and that my friends, is the reason i am down with Clooney!!

#21 Usain Bolt

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Are you fucking kidding me?? Be real, had anyone in the world (outside of track runners, but they dont count anyway) ever heard of this cat prior to the summer olympics?? Im being dead serious here. ALL he does is run fast. Sure, he broke some world records, but who gives a shit, hes a runner!! A RUNNER!!! plus now the word on the skreets is that homie is gettin hymned up for his extracurricular activities (see: puff puff no pass). He will no longer be relevant in 6 months. I aint mad at him for makin the list, im mad at the makers of the list.

#20 Lebron James

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Nope. Cant get behind this. He plays ball. He is not a fashion icon. He's the father of something like 4 kids and hes not even 25 yet. He's got more money than he knows what to do with, but somehow cant pay for condoms. Havin kids is gonna get expensive King James, especially when you get up into those Flava Flav numbers (that fools got like 11 kids, no wonder hes pimpin himself out to VH1). No question Lebron is top 5 in the NBA talent wise, but that doesnt get you a write in as one of the most influential men in America. I think you should actually have to have some sort of influence on people's lives to get that branding. I just dont see it, especially to be in the 20 spot. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

#19 Ben Bernanke

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"[Ben Bernanke] is the man smack in the middle of the U.S. economic collapse, and was a major proponent of a bailout of private financial institutions by the United States government -- a controversial move for a Republican government that is usually staunchly in favor of the free market. Ironically, one of Ben Bernanke’s main focuses over the course of his economic career has been the Great Depression, which some of the more extreme news pundits have suggested could be beginning again. His decisions in his role as chairman of the Federal Reserve during this tumultuous time have had an enormous impact on all our lives." - Askmen.com

Basically he's catchin the blame for the economic crisis the U.S. is facing. Understand this, just because he is the chairman does not mean he calls the shots, in fact its very similar to the presidency of the U.S.A. He gets checked and balanced just like the president, but when the shit hits the fan, he takes the heat.

With the U.S. in its toughest economic state in decades, would it be safe to say that if Bernanke is, in fact, responsible for the current state of our economy he is a little bit more influential in this world than say... DANA WHITE!!!! (yeah, the president of UFC) who got ranked #14 on this list. WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with you people.

#18 Kobe Bryant

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Holy lord. Kobe?? The "leave yo ass fo' a white girl whether she wants it or not" Kobe? yeah, him. Look, Kobe is hands down the best ball player in the NBA, no arguement, dont even bother, but thats it. Lets not give him any more undue credit, he plays ball, but nothing else. Get him off the list, immediately.

#17 Kanye West

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America, please stop taking your fashion tips from Yeezy, he is a confused, heartbroken narcissist that thinks no matter what he does, the people are gonna follow, and to be honest, thus far he's been right. Lets put an end to this. As much of a Kanye fan as i have been since his debut, it almost saddens me to say that i will be pushing for a boycot on the purchase of his latest album, strictly for his benefit and not my own. Kanye needs to understand what made him great. That bragadocious overly egotistical flat-out asshole approach to rhyming. No one wants the king of all egos singin heartbreak songs through a vocoder. Please Kanye get it together, youre ruining hip hop and making it ok for idiots like T-Pain to remain relevant in the music industry. As a man of the people, you have to take it upon yourself to shape the future of hip hop, and this current route is just not the way to go. Get back to your roots and stay in your lane.

#16 Thom Yorke

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Frontman for the band Radiohead. Ive never been a fan to be completely honest, but from a strictly musical standpoint he is really creative. Im not mad at him being on this list, so long as he continues to a be a drugged out musical genius because lets face it, the only creative people around anymore are drug-addicts or insane or both. I like where he went with this challenge to the music industry and friends alike when he made this statement:

"What is music worth?"....Allowing fans to pay whatever they wanted for the download, including the option of paying nothing at all, posing an ethical dilemma to both a public that rampantly pirates music and an industry that constantly overprices.

I aint mad at you for that Thom.

#15 John Stewart

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The ultra left wing Comedy Central news mogul. Listen, John Stewart has been great since he asked us all "have you ever seen the back of a $20 dollar bill....... ON WEED??" Now as the host of "The Daily Show" he gives ridiculously biased coverage of the news everyday influences millions of viewers to feel the way he and his writing staff feel. Cant be mad at that, I wish i had that power (i will someday real soon if you lovely people keep reading religiously). John also gave the world Stephen Colbert, so we gotta be thankful.

#14 Dana White

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If you dont know who Dana is, slap yo'self. This guy single handedly brought the UFC out of the shadow of WWF and boxing and made it the premier stage for hand to hand battle. Now im not a big fan of the UFC, mainly because i absolutely hate Joe Rogan (if youre not familiar with my distaste for Joe Rogan you can read about it HERE), but outside of Rogan the UFC is the home to the best fighters in the world, no question. Dana White keeps it gangster too by not having female fights, which i completely agree with, although Gina Carano is a bad bitch and she squabs like a dude. Get that paper Dana!

That does it for today. Check back tomorrow for #'s 13-1, and the list of people that didnt make it, that i believe should have.

-Ollie the don

Everytime i see/hear this...



I want to jam sharp objects in my ears. I swear on everything i care about (which isnt much, but you get the seriousness of the matter) that i saw this commercial NO LESS than 30 times on sunday while getting my NFL on. Every commercial break started with that god awful intro "SAAAAVVVEEEDDDD BY ZEEEERRRRROOOO". UGH.

Fuck toyota, im buying ford now.

-Ollie the annoyed

Monday, October 27, 2008

As promised: More tomfoolery

Now, I know that most people revel in the fact that athletes, musicians, and celebrities are shaping our world and being added to lists of influential people, but can we please get real here?? I started this rant last week, but due to a severe sinus infection, i was unwilling to add any more pressure to my head by continuing with the list of "the worlds top 49 most influential men in the world" as compiled by Askmen.com until i was physically capable of accepting the head trauma that stems from the rage i feel when reviewing this list.

I digress. #'s 49-39 have already been bashed and can be found HERE

#38 Jacquez Herzog

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Aside from the fact that he looks like a definite candidate for AIDS, i got no problem with his spot on the list. He's some Euro architect, and makes pretty dope buildings from what ive seen. Google him and see for yourself... If you care..

#37 J.J. Abrams

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Is it just me or is this guy a cross between this guy:
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Johnny Galecki (pussy ass David, Darlene's boyfriend on Roseanne) and this guy:
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(that annoying Verizon Wireless guy)..
Anyways, aside from his uncanny resemblance to these two annoying Z-listers I aint mad at J.J. for making this list. He is changing up T.V. as the creator of LOST, a show I admit I have never watched, but have heard nothing but good things. In my defense, I watch way too much celebreality/sportscenter to be able to add LOST to my must-see list.

#36 Andrew Farrah

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WHO?? exactly, but he's a really big deal. This is the guy behind the development of Chevrolet's new plug in electric car slated for release sometime in 2010. I'm down with this pick but seriously, Developing a fully electric vehicle should win Nobel prizes but he gets the #36 spot on influential men's listing, sharing the 30's with Rafael Nadal and David Beckham... ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING...

#35 Sam Houser

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Yeah, he's the developer of the video game series Rock Band. Video Games are a big deal to alot of people, but i seriously have no use for any video game outside of Madden 2006 period. This series of games allows the less-than-musically-inclined crowd a chance to be the rockstar they always wanted to be in the comfort of their own home, further helping the cause of social phobia. Jeezus Christ.

#34 Tiesto

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With a name like Tiesto and a gaze like that you gotta know homie is playin for the pink team despite the fact that he's engaged to this fine piece:

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So, basically he's a really huge DJ over in Europe known for his 4 hour spin sessions. Who gives a fuck?? Granted, thats a long time to spin for anyone, but when you're ridin the white horse and Etarded, the time just flys. As for me, I have never been into house/trip hop/rave/techno/acid jazz or any other form of that garbage ass music hes spinning, but its big in the gamer world, so i guess those internet nerds are the majority of voters for this list.

#33 Brad Pitt

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Exactly why is he on this list?? 5 years ago he was the man. Why you ask? He was ice cold on Aniston (who is completely looney since he left, a definite sign of his ice cold pimperishness), He wasn't a philanthropic environmentally adopt-happy hot mess of celebrity. I'll tell you this, Angelina Jolie was bad about 8-10 years ago (see: Gia) and she could have called the shots in the relationship with anyone then, but now she is straight used up. Need I remind you 'dis bitch used to wear a vile of Billy Bob Thornton's blood around her neck? Damn Brad, you gotta step yo game up homie. You're Brad Pitt, you could literally put the screws to ANY woman on the planet and you want to take looney ass Angelina? Well anyways i guess he makes the list because he does so much good for this world... HAHAHA. Truly believing in a cause and being led around by the nose are 2 completely different things and Brad, im sorry to report, is a subject of the latter.

#32 Harvey Levin

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No doubt this guy influences pop culture and is highly deserving of his spot on the list. He is the developer of TMZ.com and TMZ tv. If you arent familiar with TMZ, you must have been been in a coma for the last several years. TMZ is basically the biggest collection of paparazzi's on the planet and they are in full effect everyday. They really work hard to bring us our celebrity news.

#31 Judd Apatow

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Judd is the prducer/director of some of the funniest movies in the last 4 years. His catalog includes 40 year old virgin, Superbad, Knocked Up, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and PLENTY of other great raunchy comedies. He is personally responsible for making Seth Rogan relevant (thank you for that by the way, Seth is funny as hell).

#30 Rafael Nadal

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WHAT?!? Dude plays tennis, THATS IT! OK, hes really dominant in tennis, he basically owns Roger Federer, but other than that, I cant even say that ive ever even heard him speak. How in the fuck is he on this list, and not only that but higher on the list than Andrew Farrah (for those of you who are prone to use of the greenery thus forgetful, he's the developer of Chevy's electric vehicle). Dude constantly rocks a bandana, has greeeeeezy ass hurr (see: hair) and wheres ultra long shorts in a sport that requires complete mobility of the legs. I dunno about you, but this sickens me.

#29 Junot Diaz

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WHO?? yeah, my sentiments exactly. He's an author with a New York Times' bestseller. Great. The majority of people in this new techno-crazed world do their reading online now, so you have to sell something like 10,000 copies to become a bestseller. That shits weak


#28 Arnold Schwarzenegger

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Really? why? Lets get this straight right now, Arnold does NOTHING as the governor of California. NOTHING. he is told by advisors and economy experts and speech writers what to do, say, make, think, etc. Im not entirely convince Arnie isn't a robot. I mean, peep that speech patern.. Ya'll saw Terminator right?? LOL. jokes.

#27 Liu Peng

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Liu was/is the chairman of the 2008 Olympic games in Beijing. I aint mad at this pick and don't have much to say about it except that he allowed those 12 year old chinese girls to compete and ruled there wasn't sufficient evidence that they were too young (see: not 16) to participate. Whatever though, the chinese had the gymnastics sewn up anyways.

#26 Jimmy Kimmel

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You mean the less funny/unoriginal partner to Adam Corrola (who didn't make this list, more on that later)? You mean the guy that every comedian in the world takes a shot at for having no talent and somehow managing to maintain a spot on late night television with top shelf guests? You mean the guy whos girlfriend (see: Sarah Silverman) makes her living making dick and fart jokes? Yup, thats him. Congrats Jimmy, you have given the rest of the comedic world more reason to resent you for being places you dont deserve to be.

#25 David Beckham

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Whew. Look, in general im a fan of Beckham. The guy is ice cold. He's not half the soccer player he was...even...3 years ago, but somehow manages to trick every soccer team in the world into having a bidding war for his services. He straight pimped L.A. when they signed him for like 60 million and he didnt even play the first 5 or 6 games. HAHA. I love that type of iceyness, but other than that, the fact that he is a master of marketing himself, he doesnt do much for me. He's married to Posh, who i'll admit is fly, but Dog, your David Beckham, you're on that Brad Pitt fix (see: can have any bitch in the world). And can i please address the faux hawk. We all know my feelings on the faux hawk, and if you dont just click HERE and get caught up.

Im gonna stop here for now, but have no fear, im back on the warpath tomorrow.