Wednesday, November 26, 2008

illegal photographers!

I have no idea why or how this started but watch how furious this bitch is...



"1. trespassing
2. illegal photographing
3. you're not allowed
4. youve been yelled at!!!"

HAHAHA this bitch seriously went bananas on these dudes. LOL at the homie who says "why dont you grow up and then talk to us"...

-Ollie the entertainer

Go put on your play clothes

Remember when you were a kid and you had your school clothes and your play clothes, at least the rest of you did, i was poppin tags at 6... LOL. Anyways, this is a new joint from The Clipse...



Man, does Pusha T outdo himself on this one. And, im not sure if its just me but i cant figure out if he's takin shots at Jigga or givin him props.

Pusha goes ahead and takes a shot at Weezy too, peep: "To he who claims to be the heir/How dare Pusha naysay it/Them niggas hear me and they mayday it/So i could care less if Jay say it"

Whew, get em Terrance. For the uninformed Jay-Z gave Lil Wayne the title of heir to his thrown as the Greatest rappers in the game. Apparently Pusha disagrees, and you all know how i feel about the Clipse.

Anyways, for anyone who is a fan of ice cold bravado and tales of crack sales, this new clipse joint is sure not to disappoint.

It's so cold in the "D"

Damn son, i swear i've seen some ign'ant shit in my life, but this is quite possibly the worst rap song ive ever heard in my entire life. You know what that means though, if its the worst song ever, the video is going to be the best ever...

Allow me to introduce you (if you havent already gotten down) to T-Baby. I wont even bother setting this up anymore, just press play and prepare yourself for the shear ignorance of this video.



Yeah, go ahead and run that back for a second viewing, cause if youre anything like me, you were in such shock during the first take that you didnt have a chance to process everything that was going on here. Take your time, I'll wait................

HAHAHA!! Ready? Oh my lord. Start to finish this is the worst video for quite possibly the worst song ever made. I originally thought it was a freesyle cause i saw this video first:



LOL at the crew of the radio show singin' along and encouraging this tone-deaf bitch to keep singing. On a side note, is it just me or does she have a striking resemblance to Soulja Girl (crazy bitch on the bus).. Need a refresher? CLICK HERE

Getting back to the subject, you can imagine my surprise when i found out that not only was this song written by T-Baby, but she actually put together a video for it. I am so happy that someone took the time out of their day to decipher what she was saying and put it in lyric form on the video...

"Its so cold in the "D", how the fuck do we post a make peace?" HAHA! For all you non ebonics speakin folks (a.k.a. white folks) she is not refering to the temperature when shes says its so cold in the "D". She's talkin bout how heartless these muhfuckas on her block are.

Did you catch the scene where they were pourin out a lil liqua for the homies thats gone? "All we did was just kick it and shit". HAHA. There are so many gems goin on here I cant decide which part is the best (or would that be worst?)... I caught myself staring at the other girls in the video who were doing everything in their power to keep from laughing. You wanna know the worst part though?? This video has gotten like a million + hits on youtube and T-Baby is a legitimate internet celebrity these days.

Back to how awful the song is. Aside from the fact that ol' girl is basically illiterate, did anybody else catch the fact that there is no format to this song whatsoever? It started out with the hook, went to like a 14 bar verse where 8 of the lines finished with "and shit", another hook, then like another 18 bars that cuts to the hook before the last line even finishes. Genius!! T-Baby is single handedly changin the game back from "ringtone rap" to the tales of "harsch realities in the skreets".

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Thank you T-Baby.

-Ollie keeps it so cold in the "V"

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Aint no future in yo' frontin

And MC Breed knew it. The Flint, Michigan native passed away over the weekend due to Kidney failure. Breed was a legend early in the game.He hit the folks with one of the most identifiable beats in hip hop history.

MC Breed - Aint no future in yo' frontin'



MC Breed ft. Tupac - Gotta get mine



MC Breed - Just Kickin' It



R.I.P. Big homie.

-Oliver Wrist

WEAKend Wrapup (Football rant)

Where do I even begin?

I guess my best bet is to just jump head first into the bed shitting that took place on Saturday. Im not going to mince words here. 8, yes thats right 8 of the top 25 ranked teams took L's this weekend. Of those 8 top 25 teams to get beat, 4 of them got beat by unranked opponents. Lets get right into it...

Instead of breaking down the games like i normally would, i decided to go a different route today. I'm going to match up the cheerleaders (head to head) from each school to decide who should have won based solely on the looks of their respective cheering sections.

Lets get down to business:

#23 Miami (FL) Hurricanes: 23
Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets: 41

Miami:
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Im just not seein anything here to get excited about. The girls are very average. If this was my cheering squad i prolly wouldn't be bustin my ass for a W either. Second right however does look to have a little hook goin on, and that thigh looks right...

Georgia Tech:
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I wasn't very successful in my quest to find Georgia Tech cheerleader photos... I imagine I know the reason why, this crazy eyed broad showed up pretty regularly during every search. So, if she's their baddest bitch, I cant believe this squad ever wins a game. I dont know how Georgia was able to whoop ass on Miami the way they did, but i know it has nothing to do with how (not) hot their cheerleaders are.

#2 Texas Tech Red Raiders: 21
#5 Oklahoma Sooners: 65

Texas Tech:
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God damn son, this squad is really bringin some heat... I'm gonna go out on a limb and say these girls rival USC for the best lookin cheerleaders in the nation. In all fairness, the second photo is of the 2004 swim team, but who really cares, it just goes to illustrate my point of how bad this school and their girls are. Im lookin, and can't find one bad lookin hoe. How in the fizzuck does Texas Tech ever lose a game?

Oklahoma:
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OK, so these girls dont rival Texas Tech in the slightest, but I aint mad at em. Smooth stomachs, cute faces, nice smiles, etc.. but there is a severe lack of thickness going on here. I see now how the boys at Oklahoma were able to put up 65 points against Texas Tech... they were scopin the other teams cheerleaders!!

#14 BYU: 24
#7 Utah: 48

BYU:
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Lots of blondes. Thats standard for Utah based schools, they're all mormon. So, while they're all moderately to great looking, i'd say that approx. 65% of these birds are either married or engaged, and that, as we all know, brings a chicks hotness down several notches.

Utah:
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yuck. These chicks are bringin' ZERO heat to the cheerleading game, but somehow Utah is undefeated and ranked #6 in the nation. If their cheerleaders are any indication of the talent they have faced, Utah is gonna get to' up when they go against a real football team (see: S.E.C.).

#15 Michigan State: 18
#8 Penn State: 49

Michigan State:
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Ok, the girls are cute, and i'd say they earned more than 18 points from the #15 ranked team in the nation. But, thats just me.

#8 Penn State:
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Whoa! This is the #8 team in the nation? Every girl on the right end is just homely. The looks of these broads did not warrant 49 points. There's a couple of cuties but the majority of the team is pretty rough (and thats putting it politely). Memo to Penn State, if you want to be the #8 team in the nation, this group of girls had better damn well be your D-squad.

Mississippi: 31
#18 LSU: 13

Mississippi:
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These are just some random Ole Miss hoes cause finding a good team photo of the cheerleaders proved quite difficult. But, if these girls are any indication (except for 2nd left, those eyes are talkin to a player for some strange reason) the Mississippi cheerleaders would be the C-squad for Texas Tech or USC.

LSU:
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This squad is called "the golden girls", and i think i know why. Every one of these tricks looks like she is 30+, and i cant for the life og me figure out if that is because of all the makeup these hoes is rockin or those god-awful hair-do's. The really tall bird with the glasses in the back row is kinda killin it for me. Bottom right however has what looks to be the start of a realllll nice thigh, hook, and arch game. See that front crease, thats tellin you everything you need to know. Overall, id say that LSU should have definitely whooped Mississippi ass.

#20 Pittsburgh: 21
#19 Cincinnati: 28

Pittsburgh:
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WHOA!! At first i thought this picture was a joke, so i did a secondary search and BAM! got the same results. The combined weight of these 9 girls is more than the total weight of the entire "golden girls" (LSU) squad combined. OK, thats a stretch, but the point is made, if this is the kind of talent your bringin' to the table, its a miracle your football team has won a game.

Cincinnati:
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This is a wild ass bunch, and I hate everything about this photo. The crooked visors (that shit is SOO fuckin corny), the halter tops, the red slacks, the looks on these hoes faces, and that dance routine they are doing looks like it was just awful as well. With all that said, the ugliest chick in this group is badder than the baddest bird from the pitt squad, so there's really no question how Cincinnati pulled out this W.

NC (North Carolina) State: 41
#22 North Carolina: 10

NC State:
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These girls are breaking one of the cardinal rules of this blog... NO DIRTY WHITE KICKS!!! Look at this shit, everyone of these hoes' kicks are straight filthy (sorry, the photo is a little small) Gag. That shit makes me sick. I swear on urrrrythang i love, if Beyonce strolled up on me and said "Yo Ollie, you got the juice now, come hit this" and i looked down to see kicks like these (pick any of the girls in the above photo) i'd have to pass. STRAIGHT UP!

...Ok, thats a lie lol, but dont think you can get away with filthy kicks around me. Take some bleach and a toothbrush to those muhfuckas and get right!

North Carolina:
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What an ugly group of girls. Except for second left, these girls should be playin men's lacrosse and cheerleading for Pittsburgh's heavyweights. Even though the NC State hoes are rockin filthy ass kicks, they are leaps and bounds above these bitches. Man, have a look at far right... high waisted skirt? check. Teeth like Barraca from street fighter? check. Lazy eye? check. Dude, this chick is prolly the biggest hoe on that campus too. You know how the ugly chicks give up way more ass than the bad bitches.

Florida State: 37
#25 Maryland: 3

Florida State:
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Not bad, definitely doing some things right, but then you get to these birds who aren't even cheerleaders, they're just fans!!!

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Is there any wonder how Florida State destroyed Maryland? Side note, the chick in the cowboy hat has some nekkid photos floatin around the web from a playboy shoot. Her name is Jenn Sterger (don't say i never gave you anything).

Maryland:
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Yeah, id be standin around pissed off too if i looked like this and had to go up against Sterger and co.

Honorable mention to the girls from Arizona State University and UCLA for bringin that white girl thickness to the mainstream...

ASU:
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Damn, even the skinny chick (second from my right) has a nice little hook and arch game.

UCLA:
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That thigh work is the stuff of legends. Thanks for keepin it tight baby.

In other football news, The Tennessee Titans got handed their first L by the mighty Bretts, ahem, Jets. The Chargers lose again thanks to awful play calling from that jerk-off Norv Turner. **Side Note** the Chargers have now lost 4 games this season while being tied or having the lead with less than 24 seconds left in the game. EXTRA LARGE STEP YO GAME UP to the Chargers Defense. Good god fellas, we could easily be 8-3 and runnin the AFC west, instead we are in second place, and in danger of falling to 3rd behind an up and coming Raiders squad. Man I'm Sick...

A couple more of Jenn Sterger and Co. to bring me back from the edge...

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Normally i dont praise the non thick white chick, cause ass will ALWAYS take precedent over titties, but theres somethin about the look in this girls eyes...

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Or is it that enhanced chest plate?? I'ont know.

-Ollie the Don King of blogging

Monday, November 24, 2008

Modern fashion: naddagoodlook version 3.0

Some people just let the fact that they are celebrities go straight to their heads. I'm talking more about awful fashion statements folks try to make to somehow set themselves apart from the rest of the sheep, ahem, people that they most likely stole the original idea from. There is ZERO originality in the fashion game anymore. Instead, people are recycling ideas that were bad during their original tenure, and, to be blunt, have only gotten shittier with age.

Exhibit one: Beyonce

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Oh man... What do you call these? Chandelier shades? Are these the next step up from that awful shutter shades debacle reminiscent of Kanye? Look, i have honestly been crushin on Beyonce since the "pay my bills" days. There was a point in my life where she could absolutely do no wrong, but lets face it, her auto-pass has been revoked. She wifed up with my main man Jigga, and she has lost 90% of her sex appeal. These glasses right here are just horrible. I dont think you can even see out of them. So, tell me this, when did everyday necessities (i.e. sunglasses) become nothing more than overpriced, completely impractical props for modern fashion?

Exhibit 2: John Legend

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John Legend has taken a page out of Big Boi's (Outkast) book of what not to wear. Remember when Big Boi decided to rock the skinny jeans tucked into the rain boots to the B.E.T. music awards? Well, John Legend has taken it a step further. This fit right here seriously looks like he just stepped off the gay cowboy edition Starship Enterprise (Star Trek) with that shiny suit (that he must have borrowed from the Jonas Brothers), the overly aggressive exposed neckline, and those god awful moon (cowboy) boots. I mean, are we seriously buying this as a good look? His stylist should be shot (not to mention fired)...

I've already smashed on Kanye's wardrobe mistakes, so he wont get anymore shine today. More fashion mistakes will be posted as they are located, In the meantime, lets take it back to white tee's (not 5XL X-Tall) crispy denim, and clean sneakers with a fitted cap. Accessories are for girls (yeah im talkin to you Kanye) keep your ass out of Claire's boutiques.

-Ollie the fashion icon

Kanye is back and more wild than ever...

I have spent countless hours of my days, as your favorite blogger, covering all of the hard stories, and really working hard to keep the folks entertained. Of those previously mentioned hours, approximately 15% has been spent bashing Kanye West's new adventures in music. In a recent interview Kanye decided to let the folks know, once again, how much more advanced he is than the rest of you hip hop scum...

And I quote:

“I don’t even listen to rap. My apartment is too nice to listen to rap in. I have to be in a way more grimey environment to turn any rap music on” - Kanye West

This is BIG! The current savior and supposed future of hip-hop is sooo much better than the rest of us hip hop pee-ons that he has decided to part ways with rap music... Apparently he is too suffistocated to listen to the music he exploited to get himself to his current position in life. Good call Kanye, quit listening to rap and hit us off with stellar performances like these:



HAHA! This guy! There are sooo many things wrong with this performance. I'm gonna just focus on the fashion here...

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Is this muhfucka wearing a fox tail?? Yes, he really is. He compliments it nicely with those skinny jeans and what appear to be Sperry top sider deck shoes. Add alladat to that awful Pastelle (Kanye's new clothing line) jacket and his trademarked (or is that swagger jacked??) sunglasses and that overgrown, part high-top fade, part caesar, part jerry curl and what have you got?

The definition of fashion victim. Poor Kanye is just lost folks. His chick did a real number on him. Most of us just get drunk and cut with anything that walks when we get our hearts broken. Nah, this fool stepped way the fuck outta his lane and has proceeded to make a mockery of not only himself, but of the fans (myself included) that once praised this guy's musical genius.

Mr. West needs to fall out the limelight and go into hibernation for about 8 months to a year, come back and bless the people with the things they deserve from a Kanye West album.

Do I even need to remind you people that Kanye was recently voted the #17 most influntial man in the world? PLEASE DO NOT TAKE YOUR CUES FROM KANYE WEST!!

Another highlight of the American Music Awards last night was Kanye's acceptance speech when he won for best Male Rap/Hip Hop Musician of the Year...

He said "This is (Lil)Wayne's award. Last year it was Kanye's, this year it's (Lil) Wayne's." HAHAHAHA.

Jimmy Kimmel hit him and the audience with this gem "Last year he was throwin fits cause he didnt win, now he does win and he wants to give the award away, I dont get this guy". Our sentiments exactly Mr. Kimmel.

-Ollie the savior

Friday, November 21, 2008

Dont get caught slippin!!

Below is a list of 30 companies/stores set to close or declare bankruptcy after the holidays. Your boy Ollie is doin his part to keep the readers informed. Dont buy ANY gift cards this holiday season, and if you have any gift cards be sure to use them before Christmas... This recession is actually real folks so get used to stackin your own chips and be about your paper. If youre a certified baller like me (jokes) then you aint got shit to worry about, for the rest of the pee-ons, get your money right.


Ann Taylor closing 117 stores nationwide. A company spokeswoman said the company hasn’t revealed which stores will be shuttered. It will let the stores that will close this fiscal year know over the next month

Mervyns- Bankruptcy all stores to close after holiday!!

Circuit City - Bankruptcy all stores to close.

Shoe Pavilion-Bankruptcy all stores to close

Room Source- Bankruptcy all stores to close

Eddie Bauer to close more stores. Eddie Bauer has already closed 27 shops in the first quarter and plans to close up to two more outlet stores by the end of the year.
Cache closing stores. Women’s retailer Cache announced that it is closing 20 to 23 stores this year.

Lane Bryant, Fashion Bug, Catherines closing 150 stores nationwide. The owner of retailers Lane Bryant , Fashion Bug , Catherine’s Plus Sizes will close about 150 under performing stores this year. The company hasn’t provided a list of specific store closures and can’t say when it will offer that info, spokeswoman Brooke Perry said today.

Talbots, J. Jill closing stores. About a month ago, Talbot’s announced that it will be shuttering all 78 of its kids and men’s stores. Now the company says it will close another 22 under performing stores.. The 22 stores will be a mix of Talbot’s women’s and J. Jill , another chain it owns. The closures will occur this fiscal year, according to a company press release.

Gap Inc. closing 85 stores. In addition to its namesake chain, Gap also owns Old Navy and Banana Republic . The company said the closures - all planned for fiscal 2008 - will be weighted toward the Gap brand.

Foot Locker to close 140 stores. In the company press release and during its conference call with analysts today, it did not specify where the future store closures - all planned in fiscal 2008 - will be. The company could not be immediately reached for comment.

Wickes is going out of business. Wickes Furniture is going out of business and closing all of its stores, Wickes, a 37-year-old retailer that targets middle-income customers, filed for bankruptcy protection last month.

Goodbye Levitz / BOMBAY - closed already. The furniture retailer, which is going out of business. Levitz first announced it was going out of business and closing all 76 of its stores in December. The retailer dates back to 1910 when Richard Levitz opened his first furniture store in Lebanon , PA. In the 1960’s, the warehouse/showroom concept brought Levitz to the forefront of the furniture industry. The local Levitz closures will follow the shutdown of Bombay ..

Zales, Piercing Pagoda closing stores. The owner of Zales and Piercing Pagoda previously said it plans to close 82 stores by July 31. Today, it announced that it is closing another 23 under performing stores. The company said it’s not providing a list of specific store closures. Of the 105 locations planned for closure, 50 are kiosks and 55 are stores.

Disney Store owner has the right to close 98 stores. The Walt Disney Company announced it acquired about 220 Disney Stores from subsidiaries of The Children’s Place Retail Stores. The exact number of stores acquired will depend on negotiations with landlords. Those subsidiaries of Children’s Place filed for bankruptcy protection in late March. Walt Disney, in the news release, said it has also obtained the right to close about 98 Disney Stores in the U.S. The press release didn’t list those stores.

Home Depot store closings. (E. Brunswick, Rt 18 just put up their closing sign) ATLANTA - Nearly 7+ months after its chief executive said there were no plans to cut the number of its core retail stores, The Home Depot Inc. announced Thursday that it is shuttering 15 of them amid a slumping U.S. economy and housing market. The move will affect 1,300 employees. It is the first time the world’s largest home improvement store chain has ever closed a flagship store for performance reasons. Its shares rose almost 5 percent. The Atlanta-based company said the under performing U.S. stores being closed represents less than 1 percent of its existing stores. They will be shuttered within the next two months.

CompUSA (CLOSED) clarifies details on store closings. Any extended warranties purchased for products through CompUSA will be honored by a third-party provider, Assurant Solutions. Gift cards, rain checks, and rebates purchased prior to December 12 can be redeemed at any time during the final sale. For those who have a gadget currently in for service with CompUSA, the repair will be completed and the gadget will be returned to owners.

Macy’s - 9 stores

Pacific Sunwear - 153 Demo stores

Pep Boys - 33 stores

Sprint Nextel - 125 retail locations. New Sprint Nextel CEO Dan Hesse appears to have inherited a company bleeding subscribers by the thousands, and will now officially be dropping the ax on 4,000 employees and 125 retail locations. Amid the loss of 639,000 postpaid customers in the fourth quarter, Sprint will be cutting a total of 6.7% of its work force (following the 5,000 layoffs last year) and 8% of company-owned brick-and-mortar stores, while remaining mute on other rumors that it will consolidate its headquarters in Kansas . Sprint Nextel shares are down $2.89, or nearly 25%, at the time of this writing.

J. C. Penney, Lowe’s and Office Depot are scaling back

Ethan Allen Interiors: The company announced plans to close
12 of 300+ stores in an effort to cut costs.

Wilsons the Leather Experts - 158 stores

Pacific Sunwear will close its 154 Demo stores after a review of strategic alternatives for the urban-apparel brand. Seventy-four under performing Demo stores closed last May.

Sharper Image: The company recently filed for bankruptcy protection and announced that 90 of its 184 stores are closing. The retailer will still operate 94 stores to pay off debts, but 90 of these stores have performed poorly and also may close..

Bombay Company: The company unveiled plans to close all 384 U.S.-based Bombay Company stores. The company’s online storefront has discontinued operations.

KB Toys posted a list of 356 stores that it is closing around the United States as part of its bankruptcy reorganization. To see the list of store closings, go to the KB Toys Information web site, and click on Press Information

Dillard’s to Close More Stores. Dillard’s Inc. said it will continue to focus on closing under performing stores, reducing expenses and improving its merchandise in 2008. At the company’s annual shareholder meeting, CEO William Dillard II said the company will close another six under performing stores this year

***Deezam homie, this shit aint no joke.

-Young Ollie the ratings booster

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*****UPDATE*****

I got a message in the comment section from Rudy saying:

"Your article is inaccurate. Movie Gallery is not planning to close any stores at this time. Please find an official statement from the company here: http://www.moviegallery.com/company/blog.aspx. Please remove the paragraph about Movie Gallery from your article at your earliest convenience. Thank you.

November 21, 2008 12:21 PM "

Whew, those cats at Movie Gallery want everyone to think that nothing is wrong. Sorry Rudy! The section that said:

"Movie Gallery - 160 stores as part of reorganization plan to exit bankruptcy. The video rental company plans to close 400 of 3,500 Movie Gallery and Hollywood Video stores in addition to the 520 locations the video rental chain closed last fall."

has been removed by request.

-Ollie the kid

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Nicole Eggert was showing me things way back when...

Remember this bird??

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She was Jamie Powell on Charles in Charge and the subject of every teen male's (and some females) fantasies for several years. I used to peep her tough back when i was like 8-9 years old (i started scopin chicks early) then continued pervin out on her well into my teens thanks to tv syndication.

At the ripe old age of 36 ol' girl is still keepin it tight:

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Angle 2 please:

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Like i said before, when i was young i wasnt checkin for backyards. The chest plate, blonde hair, and cute face were all that mattered. Boy, am i glad i grew the fuck up, cause homegirl is sufferin from a severe case of the assatalls... You know, when you have no ass at all...

Nicole Eggert was/is bad... She even got down in the red bathing suit for a couple seasons of Baywatch, thanks trick!

-Allofher Wrist

Salute your shorts, remember that show?

Growin up, this was one of my favorite shows ever. Who didnt want to go to Camp Anawanna??

Budnick and Donkey Lips... what a great cast. Remember this fool:

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The definition of the red-headed stepchild you just wanted to beat on. He showed up for a little cameo as a bad-ass in T2: Judgement Day as John Connor's little partner in crime.

Then there was the king of all nicknames, Donkey Lips:

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Oh man, when him and Budnick got together it was pure comedy. Good to see him still gettin his actor on as a grown up. Remember seein him jump start the Ford Focus with his nipples in that AMP energy drink commercial during the Super Bowl last year? HAHA. Ultimate classic.

I tried to find some full episodes to post then realized that as much time as you spend reading this blog (all 8 of you) you wouldnt want to waste 25 minutes watching a video. So i present for your viewing pleasure, the trailer for Salute Your Shorts.



Awwwww, nostalgia!

-Ollie

Throwback Thursday joint of the day:

First off, sorry im so late today. It was a big morning for the BAMA. Dont want to spoil anything just yet, but definitely be sure to check up tomorrow and Monday for some big new thangs!!

Camp Lo- Luchini (This Is It)



Certified classic. Loved this beat. Unfortunately it was 1 of only like 3 singles these cats ever had that were worth a shit. Rumors are swirlin that they are reuniting to put out a new album sometime in early '09. I hope they drop the same day as 50 (Cent) and outsell his hatin' ass (not likely, but we can hope).

-Ollie the quarter century phenom!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

For your viewing pleasure

Several people have told me that i need to get back to the roots of this blog and post up more videos of people getting played out. I really don't want to turn this into a collegehumor.com or a failblog.org, but when i find funny shit its goin down.



Damage! You can here your boys head hit the ground!!



This is a compilation someone made of tons of people gettin played out. I laughed super hard when i saw the fat girl on the motorcycle about half way through!!



LOL at how homie plays it off like he didnt just scrape the metal with his teeth. "Oh i didnt have it completely locked in, its really safe!" HAHAHA.

Back tomorrow with great throwback stuff. ill miss you all, will you miss me?

-Young Ollie da Don

The Great (self) Debate

About 2 weeks ago, I hinted at the fact that i was workin on some big posts. One of which i already hit you with, that was the list of things/people I hate, and that can be found RIGHT HERE, the other was the "great self debate" where i was going to unwaveringly break down the top 5 duos in hip hop history. As it turns out, this was not an easy task to undertake.

First let me break down what i mean by duo. The group can consist of no more than 2 people, i.e. Dilated Peoples would not be eligible because they are 2 emcees and a dj. Pretty simple, but it turned out to be a little tougher than one might think. Alot of "duos" in hip hop always had a DJ, or an in house producer that would take them out of the running and keep them off this list.

Moving on... Several questions had to be asked in order to make this decision and ultimately narrow the broad field of greats down to the top 5 to ever do it.

What defines a great duo?

Is it based on personal preference?

Is the number of hit singles as important as dues paid?

Are the number of albums put out as important as the sales of that particular album, and for that matter, does mainstream crossover success supersede respect from other artists?

Does the groups longevity play a roll in their ranking?

What about geographical location? Do East Coast based duos get more points for being more widely accepted earlier than say, Southern based groups?

Is credibility more important than group chemistry?

These questions cannot be answered with a simple "yes" or "no", in fact they cant really be answered at all. I have spent the last 2 weeks arranging, scratching out, and rearranging this list. Ultimately it comes down to the opinion of the listener(and we all know my opinion is the only opinion that matters anyway).

So, without any further ado, I give you the top 5 greatest duos in the history of hip hop..

#5 UGK

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The group comprised of Pimp C and Bun B. The definition of that slow southern drawl, ice cold bravado, and a great partnership. Being as how they were formed in 1987, and stayed together until Pimp C died in 2007 (R.I.P. big homie), Id say that what they may have lacked in fans outside of Texas is more than made up for with their longevity in the game. These cats ruled the Texas rap scene with an iron fist for close to 20 years. They put out a slew of albums, at least 2 of them are considered to be certified classics, one of which was featured right here on this blog for a Throwback Thursday dedication. Overall, this duos longevity, combined with thier classic material, respect in the game, record sales, and classic albums more than guarantees them their spot as the #5 greatest duo in the history of hip hop.

#4 Eric B. and Rakim

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What can you really say about these two that hasnt already been said? Rakim is the godfather of modern day rhyme schemes, this cat was using metaphors and internal rhymes when everyone else was still doin this:



And Eric B. (although not always responsible for the production) created a dark sample based sound that cats are still tryin to mimic today.

No defense is neccessary to secure these two their spot on the list, in fact the argument could be made that they deserve to be higher up on the list. Please keep in mind that this list, while based in fact, still ultimately comes down to the discretion of the writers affection for a particular group. So let me say this, Eric B. and Rakim fathered the style of prolly 60% of current East Coast rappers, but when these cats were in their prime, I was only about 6 years old, and when i got to the age to care about hip hop history, thats all they were to me, HISTORY. In fact, the only reason they are on the list is out of respect for what they gave hip hop.
NEXT!!

#3 Gangstarr

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Combine arguably the greatest producer of all time (DJ Premier) with the baritone smoothness of GURU and what have you got? You've got the #3 greatest duo in the history of hip hop. DJ Premier is world renowned for his completely scratched hooks, smooth bass kicks, and extremely jazzy samples. Despite the fact that his flow is fairly simple and he is sometimes too conscious for me (i like them ign'ant raps), GURU is the perfect match for Primo's beats. The chemistry between these two is undeniable. Although reports and interviews have claimed the group is no longer, no one can deny what they did to form the sound of hip hop, not only in New York, but the world over. I sill buy Gangstarr albums and Primo instrumentals on wax any time i find em. Not only are they deserving of this spot, they are without a doubt, one of my favorite groups in the history of hip hop.

#2 Mobb Deep

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Yeah I said it bitch, now what you gon' do? Havoc and Prodigy are the definition of longevity and chemistry. These cats dropped their first album in the early 90's at the tender age of 17, followed up with album after album, one of which is the certified classic "The Infamous", and who, whether you're a fan of hip hop or not, hasn't heard "Shook Ones Pt. II"? Eminem made that shit famous in 8 Mile. As for record sales, the duo has always been a little on the light side of platinum, but don't let that fool you, these cats bring heat everytime out. Even their stint with G-Unit did nothing for their sales. Some things will always just be the way they are. The sky is blue, the grass is green, Havoc is a better emcee than Prodigy, Prodigy will always take top billing, and the duo Mobb Deep will always have sub-par soundscan.

And now the moment you've all been waiting for, the #1 greatest duo of all time is none other than:

Outkast

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Thats right folks, Big Boi and Andre 3000 come together to form the greatest duo in the history of hip hop. Lets start with the classics... oh thats right every album they released up until 2003's Speakerboxx/The Love Below has been certified classic. Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik, ATLiens, Aquemini have all been certified heaters. It took me close to 10 years to finally accept how great Outkast really is. What they've done to expand hip hop is incomparable. When Andre 3000 lost his damn mind and started dressin like Sho'nuff from the Last Dragon...
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Everybody thought his career was over, he started singin and makin crazy ass music (Are we seeing the similarities between Andre 3000 and Kanye yet?) all while managing to stay relevant and solidifying his role as one of the top emcees in the game. Classic albums, relevance, respect from peers, longevity, chemistry, creativity, all of the elements that make up the greatest duo in hip hop history.

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Now before you start spouting off other classic duos and waxin' intellectual tryna pretend like you're "up on hip hop" i created a post section that i have aptly titled:

Honorable Mention

Some groups that didnt make the cut but were considered for the list.

-Reflection Eternal (Talib Kweli and Dj Hi-Tek). Why? its simple, they made one album, and Talib Kweli NEEDS Mos Def to keep him from getting boring and becoming monotonous.

-Showbiz & A.G. Why? Never had the sales for any sort of mainstream success and while they remain one of my personal favorites, they will only ever crack the top 15. No disrespect, its just the way it is.

-DJ Polo and Kool G. Rap. Kool G. Rap is one of the nastiest lyricists of all time. The lispy delivery, the punchlines, the wicked flow, the content, all of it put together makes him a definite contender for top 5 emcees, but he alone doesnt make up a duo and DJ Polo just never really did much.

-Beatnuts. Big JU and Psycho Les make some certified knockers, but their production always outshines their rhymes. End of story.

-Smiff N' Wessun. Tek and Steele a.k.a. The Cocoa Brovaz have produced some of my youths all time favorite tracks, but they havent ever really shined outside of loyalist hardcore east coast hip hop circles, and unfortunately prolly never will.

-EPMD. Unfortunately EPMD couldnt make the list because of that Dilated Peoples scenario. 2 dope emcees, but they always had a DJ, thus negating any chance of ever touchin the top 5.

-Clipse. Pusha T and Malice are hands down my favorite duo to ever do it, and about 5 years from now will be on this list without question, but with only 2 mediocre releases (sales wise) and only like 6 years in the game they are still a little too young (musically) to get top billin just yet.

-Pete Rock and C.L. Smooth. Pete Rock is a legend in the world of production, unfortunately the same cannot be said about C.L.'s rhymes. Sure he gets respect for bein early in the game but it was obvious who the bread winner was in this group.

-Organized Konfusion. Prolly a little less known to new jack hip hop kids, but this was the realest shit out in the early 90's. Prince Po and Pharoahe Monch were one of the most respected duos of all time, however Monch's solo career, lackluster as it is, has been more successful than the groups.

-Snoop & Dre. The only reason these guys arent on the list is because they were never officially a duo. They did alot of work together but nothin was ever official between em.

-Nas/AZ. If the day ever came that these guys sat down and actually made an album it would have the potential to be one of the best (lyrically speaking) albums ever. Why you might ask? Because Nas and AZ would push eachother to be the greatest they have ever been.

There are plenty of other groups i didnt mention and for good reason. Im happy to have this list completed as it has been weighin on the brain for far too long.

Any objections??

-Ollie the hip hop scholar

Your daily dose of wild

Holy lord, this one takes the cake:



First off, we gotta give homie an A for effort.

Second, I got some questions. i gotta know A) what bet he lost or how much he got paid for this, cause there is no way anyone (no matter how delusional) could ever think this is a good look. B) Where did he find that outfit in his size?? C) Did anyone else notice that there is like 4 seperate takes edited together to make this video? Why? I imagine he was running out of breath. It takes alot of effort to move that much weight around...

At the 28 second mark, watch homie get that neck a-twirkin!! LOL. Then, watch how violently the camera starts shakin around the 32 second mark. Are those foot stomps causing that? I cant imagine anyone else is in that room filming this hot mess, and if it was someone else filming they must have been laughing hysterically!

Thank you Beyonce for causing all of this wildness.

-Ollie's back

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**Update** the video is loading slow and sometimes not at all. I havent found a better host so just keep tryin to reload the page, until i can find better means for your viewing pleasure.

-Ollie

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The drought is finally over

After a 3 year hiatus from the winner's circle your favorite blogger, Young Ollie Da Don, finally won the football pool ive been participating in for the last 5 years.

Big ups to Phil Dawson for bangin home that career long 56 yard field goal to put the browns up 2 with under 2 minutes left in the 4th quarter. Yo Phil how did you feel after you punished that football for the 5th time tonight??

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I can only imagine Phil...

On the flip side of that coin, Rian Lindell (the Buffalo Bills place-kicker)was not available for questioning after missin the 47 yard-into-the-wind field goal reminiscent of the WIDE RIGHT incident in the 1991 super bowl by now infamous place kicker Scott Norwood.

As for Brady Quinn, aside from being incredibly suspect: (please refer to photo below)

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We've all been waiting to see him get some starts and prove once and for all that he is actually a worthy QB. He showed some metal last night in only his second start against a tough, albeit struggling as of late, Buffalo Bills squad. Im not gonna jump on the bandwagon just yet, but the Browns could play a spoiler roll in the AFC north.

In other football news, im calling for the head of Norv Turner. He made some absolutely awful coaching decisions on Sunday and allowed the once heavily favored (to win the Super Bowl) Chargers to fall to a sub-par 4-6 while Denver jumped up to 6-4 with a hard earned victory in Atlanta. If San Diego wins outright they will still turn in their worst record since 2004, and I for one dont get it. Marty Shottenheimer wins 14 games and gets released, only to be replaced by the notoriously bad head coach Norv Turner?? He still has a job when hes lead the Chargers to back-to-back seasons where they started out 3-5 and 4-6 respectively?? I just dont get it.

Chargers, Norv Turner, L.T., and Phillip Rivers especially, you need to step yo' fuckin game up!

Honorable mention to the Eagles and Bengals for puttin up the first tie in 6 years, and an extra special shout out to Donavan McNabb for not knowing that ties were possible...



HAHAHA. this muhfucka!

-Ollie

the best backyard in the world belongs to a white girl??

Just press play...



First off, sorry fellas for that brotha showin up in the middle of what should be the greatest video ever made, "the worlds best ass" contest.

Now i know its not completely true that the best ass belongs to a white girl, cause she is obviously brazilian, but she is definitely pigmently challenged, more European than anything.

I cant even front, that ass is proper, great shape, good hook and arch game, silky smoove and alladat, but the best in the world??

I-ont know bout dat. I think a little more meat should be required to get blessed with the title of "best backyard in the world" but thats just me...

Fellas, is this the best rump you ever laid eyes on??

-Ollie in translation

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**EDIT** ol' girl's last name is Fronckowiak, so yes, she is definitely a white girl. BIG UPS!!!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Things that kill me

This is going to be an ongoing rant/list of things/people that piss me off. I'll just start and keep going. I will include pictures when needed.


1. Joe Rogan.

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2. Matching 6 colors on your shirt to 6 colors on your shoes and 6 colors on your hat (you know who you are).

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3. The fact that they have made every comic book/cartoon into a movie except for the ones i care about. i.e. Thundercats and G.I. Joe. Seriously.

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4. People who make one blog post a day and get 1,000 comments, but I work extra hard to drop (on average) 4 posts a day and only get 1 fuckin’ comment.

5. On the subject of bloggers, I hate that these fakers are getting’ paid.

6. People who make money doing what I do.

7. Kanye West thinkin’ he can sang. Hell Kanye West in general circa 2008 and his awful sunglass collection.

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8. All white air force ones costing 85 bones.

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9. Fat chicks with tongue rings.

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10. K-swiss sneakers (especially in the all white variety).

11. Every person having their own clothing line. I just want to print shirts for advertisement.

12. 250 styles of L.A. Dodgers/Atlanta Braves New Eras and 6 styles of Chicago Cubs.

13. People who owe me money and don’t pay up.

14. Awful colorways of my favorite shoe styles.

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15. Waking up at 6:30 on a Saturday.

16. People that throw snowballs.

17. Girls with no ass tryin’ to poke it out.

18. Girls that think coke skinny is sexy.

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19. Falling down when im drunk and tearing my ACL.

20. 8 dollar beers.

21. Everyone on Earth owning at least 5 “tapout” shirts.

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22. Any clothing company that still incorporates skulls into their designs.

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23. Brass Knuckles as a staple of “streetwear” culture.

24. Streetwear being a culture.

25. Tattooed sleeves as a status symbol.

26. Spiked hair.

27. Having to shave.

28. People with 10,000+ friends on myspace.

29. People who think facebook is better than myspace, I cant even figure out how to use facebook.

30. Norv Turner. In fact, the entire San Diego Chargers management. BRING BACK MARTY!!!

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31. Body odor. Worse than that the people who don’t realize they smell.

32. Jealousy.

33. Not being able to drink caffeine.

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34. Anxiety. Social or other.

35. My chick never being on time.

36. People that smoke cigarettes to be part of the crowd.

37. Girls that wear spandex pants with ultra short dresses, that shit looks awful.

38. Paying for water.

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39. People who tell me what I should write about on MY blog without solicitation.

40. Having to work.

41. People who are content with being worthless.

42. Ringtone rap.

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(If you dont recognize these maggots they are the shop boyz and are responsible for that god awful joint "party like a rockstar" and are actually perpetrating approx 6 of the things on this list.)

43. People who don’t allow embedding of youtube videos.

44. Perez Hilton.

45. Faux Hawks.

46. Skinny jeans.

47. Flannel makin’ a comeback. That shit is for lumberjacks and pajamas. Period.

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48. Akon.

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49. T-Pain.

50. Joe Biden.

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51. Bitches with 8 kids receiving welfare. Get a job and get fixed you dumb hoe!

52. Soulja Boy.

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53. 1 in every 10 people being a rapper and thinking that is a viable source of income.

54. Britney Spears letting herself go. She basically started the thick white chick movement.

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55. Fat girls that wear belly shirts.

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56. Dumb ass loud bitches tryin to fight dudes.

57. My brother thinkin’ that he owns my turntables.

58. Not being able to slap bitches that deserve it.

59. Chicks that look dead.

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60. People that post more than 2 bulletins a day on myspace.

61. Silver spoon little maggots who have never had to work a day in their life and drive around in BMW’s and own the entire LRG fall line, FUCK YOU.

62. Mac Dre fans circa 2006. You weren’t knockin’ that shit in ’98 don’t act like your up on game now.

63. The shit that gets accepted as art these days. My 4 year old nephew could paint that.

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64. People who wear sunglasses at night.

65. Extra long “nightgown” white t’s.

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66. Dirty white kicks.

67. Pregnant bitches thinking its cute to walk around in a bikini top.

This is just a start, i will be adding more as they come to me.

Is there anything that just drives you fuckin bananas?? Hit up the comment board and tell ol' Ollie about it.

-Ollie's off that haterade today!