Tuesday, September 30, 2008

she's been covered more than once but you cant even front on hoopz (bbotd)


the chest plate, the flat stomach, toned up arms, that "i know you see me" look in her eyes.
Then theres that backyard, dammmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnn.

what you think bill???

He cant be serious

Charles Barkley was one of the meanest cats in the NBA in his day, but this fool cannot swing a golf club to save his life. i saw this video like 2 years ago and still laugh everytime i see it. He's actually gotten a little more fluid... peep...


After watching Sir Charles hack away i was lookin to see if i could someone who was worse, alas, i found nothing. Sir Charles takes the cake.

inspiration comes from the most random places

Over the weekend, i heard that one of the homies, who shall remain nameless, got tasered up by the piggies, and since i dont have actual video footage of said homies misfortune, i went lookin on youtube and found these gems... enjoy, and be sure to have your volume up when watching...

At first it sounds like she is laughing at the cops then it turns into a muffled whine then a full on snivel "what did i did?? what did i did??" HAHAHA. then the cop comes in from stage left and yells out "taser taser taser deploy" and the other cop jumps back to avoid gettin 20,000 volts. OH MAH GAWD, this is too awesome. She turns stiff as a board and then pretends to be dead "christie, i can hear you breathing". HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Then there's this guy, who apparently was tryin to bail on that show "to catch a predator"...

Those screams are shear horror, then he runs away!!!!

One more, this is funny mostly because the heavy set blond officer eats shit when shes tryin to run up on homeboy, and the fool is just bugged out on pcp or suntin.

I've decided that tasing someone is one of the funniest things you can catch on tape and i plan on posting a weekly or bi-weekly taser video.


newsflash: sayin "no homo" does not mean you aint homo!

case and point... my man cam'ron of the mighty dipset fam (one of my personal favorites) is very, VERY suspect. i mean, peep the evidence...

Alright, fine, maybe you can chalk that up to bad style advice, or general tomfoolery, but how, and i mean HOW IN THE HELL are you going to explain this one Cam???

that shit is hella gay my dood. you have really gotta get your game up.

P.S. where has Juelz been, and why in the world is Jim Jones so mad??

eh.. Dipset Bitch!!

-Oliver for real no homo Wrist

funny photo

I know, I know, im way late on this, but for the record i've had this photo in my photobucket for like 6 years, i just never had a blog to post and share with the loyal readers.
This is easily the best sales pitch ive ever seen from a street merchant. This guy is just flat out classic. Peep the fur on homie's jacket and that "i really just dont give a fuck" smirk on that dome piece. LOL. i wish, more than anything, that i could take credit for taking this photo, i'd love to talk to ol' boy about what's really hood.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Honey is thick in all the right places

So its obvious im partial to standard things in a chick, i.e. bedroom eyes, tight backyard, thick thighs, and a functional chest plate.
That being said, i've spent a whole day of work cruisin the web to find todays bbotd. she's a little known thing thats doin work as a stripper... ahem excuse video "vixen".. i dont care what ol' girl does, long as she keeps the backyard right...

And the backshot...

By the way her name is Destiny Monique (i bet thats on the birth certificate too (see: sarcasm)... i need to find some more "back"ground on ol' girl, preferably a nice arch pose.

- oliver loves you

Weekend Sports Wrap-up:

College football was generally uninteresting for me this weekend. Alabama beat Georgia for a pretty big upset (however it was predicted right here on this site on friday, check the books suckas). Fresno State won at the Rose Bowl, against a weak ass UCLA team, but a win is a win, especially over a pac-10 opponent on the road. Ya gots tah respek (ALI G voice) Fresno State's ability to always compete.

In baseball news, CUBS are still runnin shit, Brewers make the playoffs for the first time since like '82, Phillies locked up the East, and nothin new out WEST as the Dodgers have had that locked up since early September. The National League playoffs are going to be somethin to see. my predictions...
Cubs beat the Dodgers in 4.
Phillies beat the Brewers in 5.
Cubs beat the Phillies in 7.

Newsflash: San Diego Chargers are a second half team, and lets just say they came out of the tunnel revived and ready to put the smack down (see: The Rock) on the Raiders candy asses. Rivers gift wraps a couple of interceptions, and puts one on the floor, no surprise the raiders had 15 in the first half. When play resumed in the second half, the mighty bolts came out lookin like the well oiled machine they are supposed to be. ALL YOU IDIOTS who dumped off L.T. in your fantasy leagues when he hurt his toe, look out, my dude doesnt take kindly to that shit and its about to get real shitty on opposing defenses. L.T. comin out like sho'nuff in "The Last Dragon"...
I'd say the photo speaks for itself.

R.I.P. Justin Zuk

I usually try to keep things real light and jovial here. This is somethin that hit home and i couldnt not say anything. A long time friend Justin Zuk, was stabbed and died early saturday morning in Santa Cruz, CA. Anyone who knew Zuk, knew that he was kind of a wierd cat, but always down for his homie's, a generally good guy to have on your team. This news is just flat out shocking.
Sorry to the family and all of his friends. No matter what happened in the past, I will always consider Z one of the homies, and wish i could have the last 6 months back to enjoy mah dudes company.

So it goes homie, So it goes...

R.I.P. Boss Hoggy

Friday, September 26, 2008

bringin the heat: bbotd


What else is there to say?? star of heroes hayden panetierre is just doing things. peep those catty eyes, the nice arch, good skin tone, nice hair. shawwty is workin with somethin no questions.

This is great. Thanks youtube


good ol' fashioned adult humor. i died at the spot where chick is "playin the harmonica". the soundtrack is flawless.

i told ya'll ta quit fukkin wit' me!

BWWWWWWWWWWWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! "Yo son peep your little videos, blah blah" Smack! Homie straight stole on dood. too funny. peep the way dude that made the video breaks it down. Homeboy's corny ass fedora (see: hat) goes sailin', the shades are M.I.A. and neck just flat out yells "WHIPLASH". oh my god. i could watch this shit daily. On some real shit dood, the name of the show is "From G's to Gent's" being as how only one person can win the show, doesnt that mean the rest of you bums are still supposed to be G's?? E6 gets flatlined by little ass Kesan??? Kesan, you mean the same little ass dude that took off runnin down the street cryin cause "he couldnt be held responsible for what he does to these cats"?? AAHHHNNNNNTTTT (sound of the buzzer on jeopardy) E6 lost every bit of street cred he may have had, i mean farildo homie, this shit got like a million hits on youtube the day it happened, you really gonna let it slide and think that peeps are gonna forget about it? eh-uh, aint hattnin. try again when you ditch them beat ass corn rolls, naddagoodlook ya dig??

Australia's got their game tight

I stumbled onto this t.v. show last night after "The Office" was over. I'm sure that i'm late on this, but give me a break, i started this blog less than 24 hours ago. Anywho, the show is called "Manswers". The basic idea is debunking myths, giving random facts that only nerdy warcraft geeks and level 64 warlocks could possibly care about (one of the answers is "the most common way to die having sex", listen zelda, you're gonna actually have to crawl out of your dungeon and slay that dragon (see: social anxiety) to ever get laid anyways), so why would you care enough to tune in and keep this bullshit on the G4 network. The host is Gawd awful and says ridiculous shit like "bodacious bazonkas" when referin to a ho's chest piece. Get the fuck outta here with that ish. The show is a general wasting of 30 minutes of my valuable t.v. watching time.

They did break off this little morsel of goodness though...

The Royal Australian Navy breaks off every new female recruit with a brand new set of "bodacious bazonkas".
Yeah, thats right, fake chest plates for every new female that joins the Navy.
Why? you might ask.. well according to "The London Telegraph", a print newspaper, The new chest piece inspires confidence, which in turn creates a better soldier. I LOVE IT!!!
America is full on slackin' in their mackin'. Although i'm not the biggest fan of silicone enhanced chesticles, given the bully ass bitches that join our military stateside, this could definitely be a good look, maybe give em some inspiration to get that grill dialed in, cause you know the army's got them thighs and backyards fitted up.

Jus thinkin outloud

- Oliver Wrist

"The best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be"

Ok, so to say i was a wrestling fan in the early 90's is a complete and total understatement. I was reallllllllly into this shit. I went to like 10 different events over the course of my 4-5 year run with the WWF, not, mind you, NOT the WWE (Fuck is that about??)
With that said, I want to take a minute to let all you muhfucka's know what time it is, so go on with that ol' ultimate warrior, Hulk Hogan is the best bullshit...
How can you front on the guy who coined the phrase "the best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be"... I mean farildo, look at those glasses, that pink and black spandex joint, and the greatest finishing move ever, THE SHARPSHOOTER. Dood was bout it, no question, no flexin, but when his brother threw down a triple lindy (see Rodney Dangerfield in "Back To School") and plummeted to his death, Bret got tah steppin' quick. Bret, this sport thanks you for allowing your legions of fans to watch you fall off the face of the Earth and do as so many have done before you, Stay Broke!! I loved this cat when i was a kid, but when i got a little older i realized that while Bret was easily the best wrassler, he couldnt even fuck with mah dude the ravishing one, when it came to character.
Ravishing Rick Rude was the iceyist pimp to ever set foot in the squared circle. I mean, say that name outloud, the alliteration, the gangster ass twang, the hip swervin pimperish shit this muhfucka got away with just blew me away.
I seem to remember this other cat that came on the scene years after ricky rude had bailed out to no doubt go home and get his ike turner (see: the definition of pimpin) on.. His name was Val Venus a.k.a. The Big Valbowski. This dude was just flat terrible, tryin to bite off a piece of the elements that made up the ravishing one, 2 rules, no snitchin', and no bitin'.
Tell em what you think ike...
"Beeeeyyyyyiiiiiitttttttccccchhhh, get off dick and get on your own".

Don't let me forget about my man Ric Flair. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! When it comes to pimpin this fool is no slouch either, check the boa, that icey ass coat, and the leather skin, dudes face looks like a catcher's mit from 1936 (prolly around the time he was born) cause you know mah main man ricky is pushin 70, but still layin that pimp slap on a suckas chest (those that know, know my man aint no slouch) so you know this fool goes hard on his hoes, and i guarandamntee hes got a flock... hit em with that ice grill ric..

Give me back wrasslin when that shit wasnt strictly a soap opera, back in my day, they used to really get on a muhfucka for gettin outta line...

Respek (Ali G voice)

-Allofher Wrist

USC Vs. Oregon State: spoiler alert, USC no longer #1

BWWWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Just as soon as i start to believe USC really is the best team in the country they run right out the next week and show everyone why not only is the PAC-10 just as weak as the BIG-10, but why the SEC is clearly without question the BCS powerhouse it has and always will be.
So pete, your'e a 25 point favorite over the weaker of the oregon teams (state) but somehow you guys run out there on the field and completely shit the bed, how do you feel???

That look on his face is priceless.

Now my only question is what the hell will happen to the rankings?... Ohio State playing weak ass non-conference football after not even showing up for the USC game, USC losing to a pac-10 (non)rival, and Alabama vs. Georgia is gonna leave one of those teams lookin stupid. Imma go with my cutty Shiest on this one and watch 'bama put it down, and not because they are a namesake..

P.S. Pete Carroll damn homey, in 06 you was the man homey, Fuck happened to you??...

- Oliver Wrister, the sinister mister...

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Jenny Chu: bad bitch of the day

in all seriousness, i gotsta be at least 2 years late on this bird, but on the reals, she is realll nice. i first spotted her in the video for "Rubberband Banks" by young DRO, who, by the way is an ice cold pimp (see: neon gators in every video). Gotta give it up to mah girl here.
To quote my man david krumholtz in Harold and Kumar go to white castle "... Are you kidding me, I got the YELLOW PLAGUE!!"
And a backshot just for good measure:

Obviously this bbotd (see: bad bitch of the day) is workin with some backyard too. Surely a rare thing in the asian community. keep it funky and stay tuned for updates on this and other new improved versions of this surefire staple category of npb (see: nickelplatedbama).
regards- Oliver Wrist

My name is Joe Rogan and i'm the biggest fuckin tool on the planet!


I swear to god, he is personally responsible for my disliking of UFC. Just look at this fool, the fashionable 2 day beard (that this fuckin gorilla prolly grew in 6 hours), and for christs sake look at that shirt... extra smedium when he clearly needs minimum XL, the perpetual black eye (seems the swelling has faded in this photo), see below:


not to mention the fact that he is lovin that white (see cocaine) and drinks more than tucker max (see tuckermax.com).
It really upsets me that they allow this jerkoff loser on television. He has a voice that makes Fran Drescher (see "the nanny") sound like Phil Collins. His constant babble and slobbering on the mic ranks him #1 on my list of people who should be thrown from an airplane without a chute.

Dear Joe Rogan, put yourself in a rear naked choke and have the willpower to not tapout.

END RANT for now... more to come as my blood cools back down from 175* to the standard 98.6*.


day 1.
My only goals here are to illustrate daily things that:
A) Frustrate me
B) Allow me to laugh at other people's misfortunes via video/photo
C) Highlight the amazingness that is the female anatomy (namely video ho's, thick white chicks, etc.)
D) Let muhfucka's know how i feel about the ridiculous shit celebrities and general everyday idiots get away with.
E) Put muhfucka's onto whats on the plates (records on the turntables)
F) Explain why Joe Rogan is the world's biggest waste of space/time/energy
G) Give my colorful insight on movies new and old (will create the list of the 100 movies everyman should not only see, but also own in their personal library)
H) Keep muhfucka's fresh on the latest gear/kicks
I) Give explicit opinions on the current state of American politics
J)Keep muhfucka's informed on sports (namely teams i care about, i.e. Chicago Cubs, San Diego Chargers)

In summation, i fully intend to provide a good source of daily laughter by jackin shit from everybody else's websites (see: youtube) and posting it here with witty and overly opinionated commentary from a biased, utterly self absorbed, anti-social asshole with a real big chip on his shoulder for all things idiotic.