Damn Son, like... Where you been Ollie??

Hey, hello, how are ya? to all my loyal subjects both; young and old, skinny and fat, male and female alike... It has been an ungodly amount of time since I last posted on the world's most self interested and insanely sexist blog... Now I know you all want to know where I've been, and what the hell could have causes such a monumental fall off such as this, but trust in one thing if you've never trusted in me about anything else at all (yeah right, you take my words as gospel): I am coming back. HARD. With a serious vengeance. I have a newly recharged battery, and I am going to be melting faces and blowing minds like never before... I am working out some small little details with domain issues, and blogger publishing malfunctions, but do believe that young Ollie da Don will be back in full force by Monday March 26th, at the absolute LATEST. (But if I was you, I'd check back every day until then, you never know when I might sneak a post up) You can take that statement to the bank... In the meantime, do yourselves a favor and make your way over to the newly formed:

Instagram: nickelplatedbama

Twitter: @OliverWrist

Facebook: Oliver Wrist

Facebook Fan Page: via Oliver Wrist facebook you can find the link to the nickelplatedbama fan page: Nickel Plated Bama

Tumblr: http://www.nickelplatedbama.tumblr.com

I will come back later to make all of the above links clickable hyperlinks for all you lazy bastards that won't do the work for yourselves...

And whatever you do, if you really want to see this page up and rollin again, go join all the new pages if you arent already members for some dumb ass reason...

Ollie loves the kids (and sometimes even you idiots)...

-Sir Oliver Wrist

NickelPlatedBama.com

It is official, your mother's least favorite blog is now a dot com.

We have arrived.

Sorry for the lack of updates, it's been more than a hectic week. Just trust in your boy, shit will be back and badder than ever come monday.

In the meantime, change all your favorites, change the links in your blogrolls, cause this shit is only getting bigger from here.

I hadn't mentioned yet, I will be back at AGENDA next week for round 2 with the streetwear fags.

Makeshift is performing at the JSLV party, and in case you were wondering, YES, he still is the hottest dude doin it right now (no homo).

You already know what it is, but Imma tell you one mo' time again...

NickelPlatedBama.com you filthy animals.

-Ollie "the animal" Steele

New Look

Yup, changed up the layout again. I think it looks better in black. Just need to stretch the header, add better borders, and then we'll be straight.

I'm serious this time, what do the readers think?

If there are no responses this time, I'm gonna boycott.

-Olls

Michael Jackson Died:

My man Bill (what up Bill?), loyal BAMA reader #9 (I think) out in Colorado hit me with an e-mail stating his disappointment with the lack of content concerning the tragic death of Michael Jackson...

In all seriousness, I had planned on just moving forward and letting the rest of the world pine over this "loss" and never saying a word about it.

However, since I was specifically asked for my take on the situation, here are my sentiments regarding the untimely death of Michael Jackson:

First of all, death sucks. No matter who has died, someone is hurt by their passing. As a result, I will try and sugar coat this to spare feelings for the time being.

Suffice it to say that I was shocked. With Farrah Fawcett dying just hours before M.J. it didn't seem real to me.

With all of that said, I don't really care that Michael Jackson is dead.

I didn't look up to him.

He wasn't a big influence on my life.

Sure, he gave us mad classics in his day, but in all honestly "his day" was well before I was old enough to care about what was/wasn't classic.

By the time I was old enough to concern myself with Michael Jackson, the only tangible things for me to associate with him were his wild ass antics:





***Side Note*** My homie Sherman that lives down south once told me about how he went to Neverland Ranch as a school field trip. Now I'm not saying Sherman got touched, but he is definitely a wierd cat and took the loss of MJ harder than the rest of us. HAHA.



So for me to sit here and say that I am going to miss him, or that I am saddened by his death in any way would be a lie.

I mean, in reality, I don't care becuase I'm a heartless bastard, but more importantly I don't care because it does not effect me personally AT ALL.

Everything good Michael had to offer us musically had already been recorded and released, so the loss of him as an "artist" is unrealistic. The cold truth of the matter is that he was an old man, past his prime, and the stigma of his legal battles would outshine him for the rest of his career.

Furthermore, I want to discuss the general public's reactions to this death.

There seems to be two accepted responses to the death of Michael Jackson.

1. "Fuck him. He was a child molesting sociopath and will be burning in hell."

OR...

2. "Michael was a huge influence on my life. The most important person ever. I don't know how I am going to live without Michael being alive."

Wah-Wah-Waaaaahhhh.

Both of those opinions are stupid and contrived.

#1. FACT: MJ never touched you or anyone you know. He was never convicted. Shit, in all seriousness, he honestly didn't see anything wrong with letting a child sleep in his bed. Now, that may be creepy, but it isn't technically illegal. I wouldn't let my kids sleep with MJ, but that doesn't mean I want him to burn in hell. He was a victim of circumstance. Dude had ZERO childhood. His father was an abusive lunatic. He seriously thought there was nothing wrong with hangin out with a chimpanzee and playing house/doctor with children. Dude was unstable to say the least, but I am not completely convinced that he was the monster that the extremists make him out to be. Don't get it twisted, I am not condoning ANY of Michael's escapades, just saying, for the sake of argument, maybe he wasn't as bad as people made him out to be.

#2. All these "Michael was such an inspiration in my life..." bullshitters. FUCK YOU.

To anyone under the age of say, I'ontknow, 25 (and thats being generous), that says Michael was the reason you were in show business and that you wouldn't be here without him and alladat bullshit, SHUT...THE...FUCK...UP. No one cares. Seriously.

And the white people. Punk rockers. folk singers. etc...



(Yeah I'm talking to/about you John Mayer. You fucking dork.)

you just sound dumb. MJ didn't do anything for you personally. He didn't care if you were alive or dead. Why the fuck do you feel so special or entitled?

What it all boils down to is this:

If you didn't know M.J. personally, you shouldn't be grieving his death. It makes you look like a dick.

Let's let the man die and remember the cool things he gave to us:

The moonwalk was fucking awesome and groudbreaking in it's day:



and these L.A. Gear's were the business. I bet they are fetching a pretty penny on ebay right now.



That is all I have to say regarding this topic and am now closing the vault. I hope that is sufficient.

-Ollie the Heartless

New Look

Slowly making the changes for the new look and layout of the blog.

It looks like shit right now, but we will get it together.

What do you think of the new header aside from the fact that it doesn't quite fit properly?

Hit me with a comment.

-Olls

Fuck Me Running...

The cold hard fact of the matter is this:

I.Am.LAZY.

Mix that with the fact that I actually had to do real work at the office today and you can begin to see why there were no updates on the blog today.

Never fear. I got a whole stack of shit to write about tomorrow and I promise to do just that.

5 new posts tomorrow or my name isn't Oliver Wrist.

-Hollllliver

Interview With Makeshift by Yours Truly!

Yep, you read that title correct.

Oliver Wrist Interviews Makeshift.

Click the link. Support your favorite blogger and his favorite rapper!!

The original interview was prolly closer to like 25 pages and read more like a conversation amongst friends than an actual interview so it got cut down to size.

Peace to (in no particular order):

Dustin Noden, the photos and layout are ill player!

Makeshift. Your talent is unmatched right now homeboy. Go download the "No Doze mixtape" RIGHT NOW. CLICK HERE to download.

Curiculum Magazine Thanks for hosting the interview!

Sk8mafia Fam. What you got on my skateboard?

Crem De La Crem. Peep the line. Buy some gear.

Piff (California) Herrera. Realer than real.

And most importantly, shouts to TBC for being the inspiration behind me and keeping it funky when I get out of line. LOVE.

-Olls

Yes, I Do Realize The Blog Sucks Lately

Look, the sad truth of the matter is that I haven't really been putting in much of an effort to bring the people the heat they are used to from this blog.

I don't have an excuse, all I can say is, I'm lazy and haven't cared much.

On the other hand, I have been trying to build the new site, create a new layout, get everything set up to move over to wordpress for hosting and redirecting the URL so the readers can just type nickelplatedbama.com rather than .blogspot.com or .wordpress.com.

I am working hard, but hardly working all at the same time.

Some good news though:

I got word from Makeshift today that the "No Doze" mixtape should be in mp3 format by the weekend, meaning it will be available for download through this site sometime next week (fingers crossed).

And just because you people have been so loyal, here is a video of pregnant teenagers dancing...



Fucking white people...

Shout to Ignored Prayers for being one of the best blogs on the net.

-Olls

Sorry Kiddies

Internet connection is wack, keep losing my posts.

Uncle Ollie is taking care of the sick nephew.

My knee is REEEEALLLY fucked up right now. Doctor recommended an X-Ray, but the paper is low, hopefully this isn't permanent. I've got some photos of the injury to post later.

It's been slow going, all apologies buckaroos. I will get my shit together and rock some new hot shit tomorrow.

NPB is the new AA. Just keep coming back... HAHA.

-Olllllls

Weekly Recap:

Fmylife.com has taken over my life.

As much as I wanted Duke to win, Nova blew em out the building.

My bracket is toast after that ass tapping Memphis took last night at the hands of Missouri.

My drug habit has come to a grinding hault. Fuck this recession. LOL.

I'm hungover.

Makeshift is my favorite rapper.

Your mother thinks I'm handsome, and I don't blame her.

Updates tomorrow.

-Ollie

Misery Loves Company:

The last 4 days of my life have been pretty brutal...

St. Paddy's was awful. I started throwin back beers at like 9 a.m. and ended up at Froggies around 11:00. We strong armed Becks for the better part of 5 hours and I decided to go eat at Long John Silvers. WORST.DECISION.EVER. 20 minutes later, CODE 2. If you aren't familiar, that's a sudden, unsettling need to shit. So i head home, handle my B.I. and then end up throwing up for the next 2 hours. Bedridden at 5:30 p.m. on the day of the drink. What a failure.

I have been sleeping on the couch (well, more like rolling around trying to find a few minutes of shut eye like a crack head) so as to not disturb TBC while she gets her beauty rest.

I have been sick, but more importantly, my Dr. refused to refill my "medication".

Just know this, everything I write on this blog is tamed down with xanax, you don't want to know me on a 3 day withdrawl.

I finally got into the Dr. yesterday, layed the smack down on his candy ass (yes that is a reference to Dwayne "the rock" Johnson), and got STOCKED THE FUCK UP.

I'm back in good shape so things are looking up.

I've been hittin the twitter HARD.

follow me: Ollie on Twitter.

Also, show some love to the folks in my blogroll...

Big ups to Lake and Brock over at uvtblog.com for showin some love and joining the NPB march madness challenge.

Big shouts to JonnyD, Royal, ElCapitan, and Drama from code2ave.

Big shouts to the new homie/twitter follower/fashion blogger Cliff from Anatomy blog.

New throwback Thursday joints will be up later. I'm locked into the ncaa tourney right now and Memphis is down 6 to fucking Northridge. Talk about a bracket buster.

-Ollie

So I Said Simple And Plain: Let's Battle.

Here's the scoop:

I challenge every reader of the blog as well as anyone else in the world who thinks they can beat my bracket.

The rules are simple.

Every person is allowed one entry into the group.

CLICK HERE to create an ESPN account.

After you've created you're account, you will want to "find group".

Group name: nickelplatedbama

password: bama4life

Enter your best bracket and ESPN does the rest of the work.

If you can beat me, I'll give you a t-shirt.

If you have any problems, holler at me in the comments section or on gmail. nickelplatedbama@gmail.com.

May the best man (or woman) win.

GAME UP BITCH!

-Ollie

March Madness: Teaser

I hinted at it last week, but I just wanted to refresh everybody's taste buds.

IF YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT ME IN MY BRACKET, I WILL GIVE YOU A T-SHIRT!

Details coming Monday or Tuesday (tourney starts Thursday), so that will give you plenty of time to set up your brackets.

I will have a "private" group called "NickelPlatedBama" on espn bracket busters challenge. Everyone who wants to play will get anywhere from 1-3 brackets to fill out.

If you think you got what it takes, come get supper puppy.

-Oliver Wrist

Im On Twitter:

Oliver Wrist is now available to follow all day long on Twitter.

Follow Me Hoe!

On another note, this is officially the 300th post. Shame this landmark is wasted telling you to follow my stupid twitter account.

Blah. Got some other goodies for that ass later this afternoon.

But seriously,

Follow Me Hoe!
Follow Me Hoe!
Follow Me Hoe!
Follow Me Hoe!
Follow Me Hoe!

Tomorrow's Itinerary:

1. Angelina Jolie sucks and she isn't hot, I have every intention of illustrating why.

2. How I like my porn.

3. Spotlight on Cornhole, and I ain't talkin anal sex.

4. Everything else in the world that matters to me and doesn't matter to you.

-Ollie

To The Anonymous Commenter:

Dear BAMA nation,

I officially have my first "hater".

So let me address this situation, to the anonymous commenter on the "workings of the female mind" post:

It is written very plainly on the right hand side of the blog, but I will spell it out for you once again:

"If this is your first time stopping by NickelPlatedBama, I would suggest getting a feel for the blog by going through the archives. There have been too many classic posts to count. If you disagree with an opinion here on the site, make it public. The writer of this blog suffers from a rare condition that allows him to feel absolutely zero remorse when attacking a person's character, or, lack there of. Please feel free to enjoy, hate, participate, tell a friend, but always, always stop back by tomorrow."

What I failed to mention is that if you do choose to "hate", at least have the balls to do so openly so that I may address you personally.

But since you wish to remain anonymous, I'm quite sorry you find the blog boring. Fortunately for me, there are about 100 daily readers who feel the complete opposite.

I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to tell me how boring my blog is though. Now I have inspiration to step my game up. I've been slackin a little lately anyways.

To the rest of you people who read this blog everyday and don't like it, well, all I can say is; thanks for adding to my hit count.

LOVE,

-Ollie

Saturday Morning: My Life

I don't know if it is possible to be this happy about losing a job, but I am literally cheesin' ear to ear about not having to go to work on Monday. But more importantly Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.

I got alot of paint, and alot of canvas. I got enough "medicine" to get through the next 8 days or so. It's wierd, when I'm doped out of my mind, my creative brain really starts to click.

I got some action this morning...

UConn +4 vs. Pittsburgh. I got UConn and I parlayed it with Miami +9.5 vs. Cleveland.

My gambling/drug consumption/womanizing gets to an all time high when I'm unemployed.

The blog will be poppin a lot harder in the weeks to come.

Just want to address some shit real quick...

My commenters have seized to comment, and I haven't had any feedback in the past 10 posts. Get back on your game people, or I will punish you by not publishing for the next 5 days. Nobody wants that.

I cannot consider myself a man today because I watched the movie "Fried Green Tomatoes" first thing this morning. Before checkin sportscenter, before checkin' the morning betting lines, just layed out and watched one of the chickiest chick flicks of all time.

I am so happy to have my laptop back in good working order. I can now post from home.

I got some new irons in the fire. For the time being, they will remain under wraps, but soon enough you will all know about my new money earning schemes.

I hate how companies are jumping on the "green" bandwagon. Just because your new compact car gets 2 more miles per gallon doesn't entitle you to stamp "greenest vehicle on earth" and add 5 grand to the price tag.

There will be a freely downloadable mixtape courtesy of my current favorite rapper Makeshift available (somewhat) exclusively on the BAMA in the weeks to come.

March Madness has set in. I will be covering the entire tournament and giving advice leading up to selection sunday. The NFL may have kicked my ass this year, but I've been cleaning up in college basketball. I fancy myself quite the authority on NCAA basketball.

The "no weekend posts" schtick has officially ended with this post. There will be updates every day as I deem them neccessary.

UCONN is down 10 right now. FUCK. Time to slow this game down and start passing the ball instead of jackin up 3's.

-Ollie

New Rule: Organic Is Out:

I hate the word "organic".

I hate that people think they are superior to others for eating/drinking "organic".

I hate that an "organic" tomato costs more than a non-"organic" tomato.

I hate that people think that if they do what they should do, they are living an "organic" life.

I hate the idea of being "organic".

What does that even mean? Seriously? CLICK HERE for the Wikipedia definition.

I'll tell you what it means... Its a bunch of blow-hard naturalists and environmentalists filling up the common man's head with this "go green" mentality. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the preservation of our planet, but I will not blindly follow these tree huggin leftist nut jobs off the cliff that they are so willfully pushing the collective heard of sheep known as the human race off of.

Someone has to take a stand. Let that man be me...

Fuck organic. And fuck the people who think that because they "live organically" they are somewhat better than me.

I'll tell you something I know for fact. I had never even heard of "organic" until I got involved in the drug trade. And to all those people who claim to taste the chemicals in the herb, Fuck you, you are full of shit. I have personally handed some extra chemed out tree to the snobbiest of pot snobs and told him it was "organic". He fired up, and without hesitation proceeded to tell me how great "organic" herb tastes.

Moral of the story... the "organic" mindset exists exclusively in your head. If you never heard the term, you would never have been concerned.

When I was a kid, I drank the same milk as I do now. Fuck you tryin to bump the price 2 dollars more a gallon because the shit is "organic". Last I checked we are in a recession.

In fact, I think the "organic" phenomenon is indirectly responsible for this down-trodden economy.

Not really, but you get the point.

I close with this, if you step to me to tell me something is good because it is organic, 1, if not both of the following 2 things is going to happen...

A) You will be laughed at and ridiculed.

B) You will be slapped, then laughed at, then ridiculed.

Fuck Organic, live savagely.

-Ollie the Conqueror

I Have Zero Drive:

Whether you know it or not, I am not satisfied with writing this blog for no pay. Don't get me wrong, I love to write, I just want to be getting paid for it as well. Considering I am currently employed and my job affords me the free time to be able to write this smut on a daily basis, I don't feel that it is fair for me to complain about not drawing a wage. However, the day is going to come when I have to make a life decision...

What is that you wonder?

Well, am I going to be content with working at a dead end 9-5 making just enough money to pay bills, OR would I be happier writing, painting, and living life as a vagbond with no ties to any ONE thing in particular.

As of right now, I feel the need to make money far exceeds my desire to roam, but don't get it twisted, when that feeling changes, I will be gone. No warning shots will be fired. No white flags raised.

So while sitting around and depressing myself with the thought of having to work for a living, I have decided to write a book. Or maybe a collection of short stories. Maybe a children's book. Maybe a photo-journal of nude women. I'm not quite sure what it is going to be about, where it will take place, or when I will begin, but just know that eventually, at some point in time, I will have written and published a book that you will all have the opportunity to read and subsequently hate.

It will happen as soon as I find the drive to quit taking all these pills, treating people like shit, and being completely consumed with myself.

Like anyone cares anyways. HAHA.

-Ollie

BASTARD!

This is basically the reaction of any girl who has ever crossed paths with Ollie off that Vodka or 'Tron.



HAHA. annnnnnnnnnndd SCENE!

-Ollie