Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Is Tupac Still Alive??

These photos recently hit the blogosphere via TMZ and, well...





Is Tupac still roamin' the streets incognito? The thing that's gettin' me is that no one else in the room is buggin' out on Tupac just kickin' it at the bar when he has been dead for like 13 years.

What does the BAMA faithful think? Is that Tupac?

Guess That Rack Vol. 2

Last week's installment of "Guess That Rack" seemed to be a bit of a success so we'll follow up with another round of great tits for the fellas (and ladies if you freak like that) to make educated guesses about.

The rules are simple.

Leave a comment with your answers.

Don't cheat.

Winner this week will get a prize to be determined later.

So without further ado, let's get into the titties.











Let the answers fly. There are no "easy" answers this week.


Monday, April 27, 2009

West Coast Champs Mixtape Vol. 1



Peace to my girl Dauche over at The Blurbs for the info and link. Good Looks!!

Download the West Coast Champs Mixtape Vol. 1 for free Right Here.

Straight heaters. Big ups to my dudes wreckin shit on the mixtape.



And watch out for Piff (California) Herrera on Vol. 2 coming soon!!

Do yourself a favor and download this mixtape. It's a banger.


Do The "Mr. Hit Dat Hoe"

Oh boy. This is that joint right now. The song that inspired the dance.

"Mr. Hit That Hoe".

Fuck Jerkin son, do the "Mr. Hit Dat Hoe"...

"SWWWWWWAGGGGGED UP". Man, these cats right here are with that shit.

The "Ricky Bobby"? check.

The "Bobby B"? check.

How hood is this video tho for real? The trucks rollin through. Straight rope tow cable. Then there is the '96 Dodge Ram all chromed out (you thought i missed that) mashin' through.

Hood livin' at it's finest.

What's up with homie in the blue polo joint tho? He can't gig so he just stands in the back mean muggin'? Haaaa.

And your boy with the Cowboys joint... How bout that Kanye West shag cut?

Mr. Hit Dat Hoe. I should have thought of that alias a looooooong time ago.


Bea Arthur Passes Away


Saturday April 25, 2009 marked a sad day in the world of comedy. Actress/comedian Bea Arthur passed away at the ripe old age of 86 from cancer.

The world will remember her dry wit and sarcasm. She was great. I still watch "The Golden Girls" from time to time and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

CLICK HERE to see Bea Arthur naked. C'mon I know you want to.

R.I.P. ol' girl.


Friday, April 24, 2009

Quick Update

Sorry for the lack of updates today.

I spent the majority of the day interviewing Makeshift. For what it's worth, the interview came out solid.

Should be up by the middle/end of next week, but won't be sure until after the weekend.

Thanks to the few of you who have remained loyal readers while I go through the trials of switching servers, developing the new layout, and buying the domain name, etc.

To the rest of you who haven't been checkin, FUCK YOU.

Yeah I said it.


Thursday, April 23, 2009

Sorry Kiddies

Internet connection is wack, keep losing my posts.

Uncle Ollie is taking care of the sick nephew.

My knee is REEEEALLLY fucked up right now. Doctor recommended an X-Ray, but the paper is low, hopefully this isn't permanent. I've got some photos of the injury to post later.

It's been slow going, all apologies buckaroos. I will get my shit together and rock some new hot shit tomorrow.

NPB is the new AA. Just keep coming back... HAHA.


Tuesday, April 21, 2009

WOW: Best (Worst?) T.V. Edit Ever

Caught this over at Film Drunk, and well, just press play.

"I am so sick and tired of these monkey fighting snakes on this monday to friday plane"...

Wow. I am... just... wow.


That says it all.

For the record, the t.v. editors at U.S.A. are better.


P.S. Sam Jackson is a serious Bad Ass Mother Fucker.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Twitter As A Status Symbol

This will be a quick post.

I think it's funny that people are seriously concerned with their following/follower ratios.

I follow at least 1,000 more people than follow me.

It matters so little to me that I honestly can't believe I am making this post.

Incidentally, if you would like to follow me and read my rants in real time, you can by Clicking Here.


Vodka Soaked Tampons: WTF

Ok, so the story goes like this...

TBC (the ball and chain for the new readers) comes home raving about this wild ass story her boss was telling her about over hearing these kids out in the desert shoving vodka soaked tampons up there yams and backs.

I couldn't fuckin' believe it.

Apparently this shit is big in the streets. I had to do a little research and, well, just watch...

Yes. This is real. This is a legitimate phenomenon taking place right here in our country. Young girls have taken to shoving vodka soaked tampons in their most sacred of places to catch a buzz.

Rumor has it, these kids are ingesting booze via their twats and assholes to be able to pass breathalyzers. HAHAHA.

It's these same mouth breathing morons that came up with these ideas of shoving beer bongs in their assholes, and booze drenched tampons in their 'ginas, that would think it would keep them out of hand cuffs when taking a breathalyzer test. As most normal functioning people that have ever had to take a breathalizer would know; breathalyzers don't measure the amount of alcohol on your breath. Rather, they approximate the amount of alcohol flowing through your blood that is passed through the lungs and expelled IN your breath.

For more info, Click Here To Find Out How Stuff Works.

More importantly, I want to address the fact that DUDES ARE STRAIGHT STICKING BEER BONG TUBES UP THERE ASSHOLES. Are you kidding me? Who/What/Where/When/Why/How the fuck was this decision made?

Where was the straight man in this decision making process?

Dude, I can't play along with this anymore. This has got to end. RIGHT FUCKING NOW.


Four Twenty: Another Excuse To Do Nothing

For the squares of the world that aren't familiar with the significance of the date 4/20, it's supposedly a reference to the penal code for a smokeout in progress, or what I like to call "Stoner bashin' time".

In reality, it's just another excuse for the potheads of the world to get stewy blazed and loaf around for a while.

As you may have guessed by now, I do not partake in the use of the herbals personally, which prolly comes as a shock to anyone who doesn't know me personally because I am so fitting of the profile. The harsch reality of the situation is simple, I can't smoke. I have a mental block that causes severe heartburn and panic attacks that make me feel like I am having a heart attack.

It's a pretty big deal to most of my homies when I do decide to indulge (which is a very, VERY rare occurence). I mean, people really go all out to get me involved in a sesh, because when I get to laughing, there is no stopping me. I'm a jolly sonofabitch of that tree.

My feelings on reefer are pretty simple. Smoking trees does not cause violence. It is not a gateway drug. It is completely recreational. In fact, I think that everyone should smoke (except for me of course, for the reasons stated above).

In fact, my only real issue with the cheebah is that it makes it ok to be doing nothing. I always used this example when explaining my feelings on this particular subject:

A couple of dudes could be sitting around on the floor indian style staring blankly into space, no t.v., no dialogue, no nothing, and the only justification they would need is "hey, at least were stoned". haha.

So to all my friends out there that partake in the delights of the greenery, get yourself a nice satchel of this:


put that shit in your pipe...


and smoke it...

Jah bless. haaaa.

-Ollie the Kingpin

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Guess That Rack: Answers

#1 Salma Hayek


#2 Kim Kardashian


#3 Halle Berry


#4 Gemma Atkinson


Gemma Atkinson was a wild card cause she isn't that big of a celebrity, but what she lacks in fame, she more than makes up for in cup size. Pure brilliance.

Back on Wednesday with part 2 of "Guess That Rack".


New Makeshift Ft. O-Phrap - Champion Music

Another certified knocker from the BAMA's favorite rapper, Makeshift off the upcoming "West Coast Champs Mixtape Vol. 1".

Makeshift Ft. O-Phrap – Champion Music.

Incidentally the West Coast Champs Mixtape release party is this Friday, April 17, 2009 in L.A.


Be on the lookout for the Makeshift interview, "No Doze" mixtape release (available exclusively on the BAMA for free download), and much, MUCH more from this up and coming artist who is sure to be the leader of the new class of emcees.

Yo Makeshift, you got love for the BAMA??


(Yeah that's Larelle Gray from Sk8Mafia fame reppin the BAMA)

Be sure to check for:

Makeshift on myspace.


O-Phrap on myspace.

Do not sleep on these cats. They are the real deal.


Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Guess That Rack Pt. 1

This is a new segment I am gonna run. Not sure if it will be weekly, monthly, yearly, etc. but if there is a good response and some participation, then obviously it will be more frequent. The way it will work is simple. I will post cropped photos of some celebrities chest piece and the readers will make guesses in the comments section. I will reveal the faces of the celebrities on the next posting day.

Enough with the explanation, on with the tits!!









Take your best guess and post em in the comments section, don't cheat you worthless bastards.


What The Funk?

Seriously, don't ask how or why I came across this, just know that I did.

How fuckin' wild does this cat look? I don't want to go to hard on homie's pigment (or lack thereof), but let me just say that my dude's sangin' career is going about as far as he is without any sun tan lotion on, which is, to state the obvious, not very far.

Am I the only one who thinks this dude has a striking resemblance to fairly well known underground rapper Krondon??


Yikes. Krondon is straight viscious. Dude scares me. Seriously.


Draft Klick - Get On Draft Video

My initial reaction?? Wow. Scoob Blue is a fucking pervert yo. Straight up. HAHA. Is that milk dripping all over his body?? Your god damn right it is. You don't think Scoob is a pervert?? Well, let me learn ya...


I think that picture explains it all... HAHA. You know it's all love Scoob.

As for my man Shamrock, (Sam from mega uber gangster props on that human pores animation. That shit is hype.

When we asked Sam how he felt about his dance maneuvers, his only response was...


"Fucking White People". We are coining this as THE phrase for 2009.

I have a few more gems from the Draft Klick show back in February, what better time than now to post em up...

Meet Peaches:


That's Steve Macmen's grandmother and she is one helluva lady.

Yo Mac, how do you feel about the BAMA??


Is that a good thing??


Good, I thought so.

Moral of the story??

Draft Klick is with the shit. They make straight drug induced, party anthems. And that, my friends, is something I can get behind (no homo).


Sunday, April 12, 2009

The King Has Returned

It's been a long, LONG weekend.

All apologies for the lack of posts. In all honesty, i've enjoyed the layoff.

Got some great new stuff for the boys and girls tomorrow.

It's hot in the valley. The master's is gonna be won by some nobody.

Cubs tonight at 5:00 against the arch rival Brewers.

The Cavs put the severe ass slappin on the Celtics, and I have severe mixed emotions about the situation.

On one hand, I love to see the Celtics lose. On the other hand, I bet the Celtics +8.5 and, well... you know the rest.

My gambling habit has taken over my life and I'm a wreck. I need to find a new means of turning a profit because this is just not working out.

The norco refill came in today, so I'll be a happy camper for the next 10-12 days.


Thursday, April 9, 2009

Throwback Thursday: Orange English

These are step by step instructions on how to create/enjoy one of the hood's favorite drinks; Orange English provided by NPB's favorite rapper Makeshift.


Step 1:


"Drink that Old E down to the cone quickfast."


"Like a G..."

Step 2:


"Pour orange juice to the brim (minute maid is the best)."

Step 3:


"Tip that mug upside down to get the butta flow mixture."

Step 4:


"Take it to the dome."

Step 5:



Thanks to Makeshift for puttin me onto this shit.

Personally, I've never consumed Orange English. When I was a younger lad, we used to get down extra thorough with the "Project Punch".

I don't have step by step (picture) instructions, so you'll just have to read a little bit here.

Step 1: Get your "cool" uncle to buy you some boos. You'll need 1 (per person):

40 oz. of King Cobra:


and 1 bottle of Night Train wine:


After that, it's basically the same idea as the Orange English, probably about a 70/30 (beer/wine) mixture.

***Side note***

Night Train wine is vinted and bottle approx. 100 miles from my home in the lovely town of Modesto, CA by E&J Gallo winery.

Trust in this, Night train is all business when it pulls into the station, and when you mix it with the King Cobra 40 oz, even the most hardened drinkers out there will be feelin' the effects.

If you are unable to locate Night Train at your local liqua sto', you can subtitute with any of the following:



Mad Dog 20/20:


Wild Irish Rose (a little harder to come by):


And for the less rugged drinker (read: bitch ass motherfuckers) you can always go with the old stand by...

St. Ides (special brew):


Enjoy the concoctions of my youth.


Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Limited Updates Today:

Updates will be spread out throughout the day as my mind seems to be working in 7 second delay.

Cubs lost last night. 1-1 in the first 2 games. Hopefully they can bounce back tonight to win the series at 2-1.

Otherwise, I have every intention of painting today.

Got some ideas I've been scratchin out on paper, and now I think it's time to make the transfer to canvas.

check back later for updates about Lindsey Lohan doin porn.


Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Self Realization:

For all you skinny jean rockin cats, with your EXTRA LARGE shoes, this is what you look like:



Just a piece of friendly advice from one of the least friendly sources around.


The Tournament Is Finally Over:

All congratulations due and payable to my little cousin, "The Bracketologist" for dominating the first annual NickelPlatedBama March Madness Bracket Challenge (it's a working title). What can I say? The kid's got game and handled bitness with several upsets that no one else saw coming. Big ups Kris. Keep it funky. You'll be getting your shirt very soon.

Big ups to Knowledge from the ANATOMY BLOG for holding it down and coming in second, just 30 points behind the winner.

Drama the Koofie Smacker from came correct and held down the 3 spot coming in 100 points behind the winner.

I never mentioned whether or not there would be prizes for second and third place.

2nd place will get one week of praise here on the BAMA and will have their blog linked to, no less than 20 times.

3rd place will get a hand written letter that says "better luck next time" (haha) and a handfull of NPB stickers. Drama, hit me an email with your address (

Thank you everyone who participated. (US versus Them)


B the Heat Spitta

To those who were out of the tournament before the elite 8 (like myself) better luck next year.

Maybe now I can finally stop losing so much money betting against North Carolina.

While I'm at it I would like to address the absolutely AWFUL play on both sides of the ball by Michigan State.

I just want to point out a few key points that basically ensured UNC's domination over Michigan State.

1. Michigan State had more turnovers than field goals made.

2. When a team is down 20+ points, one would imagine the sense of urgency to play defense would kick in sometime before the last 4 minutes left in the game. I was completely blown away at how lazy and inefficient Michigan State played last night.

3. I still hate Tyler Hansbrough more than any other college player in the history of the sport, but, on this site, credit is given when it is due. Psycho T put in work. He flopped/flailed/and morphed his body into ridiculous contortionist positions to make every shot look deserving of sportscenter's top 10 plays, when in reality all he did was make a copule of layups.

4. Michigan State was flat out matched and got outplayed. Congrats to UNC, Ty Lawson in particular. Dude is a beast, and a definite first rounder in this years NBA draft. As for Tyler Hansbrough, he will go down as one of the best NCAA basketball players of all time, unfortuantely for him, he doesn't stand a chance in the NBA. It's just the sad truth of the matter.

The NBA playoffs kick off next week. I got alot of work to do to unfuck myself for all of those bets against UNC.

-Ollie the Defeated

Monday, April 6, 2009

Myspace Of The Day: Jamie O'brien

Cruisin' around on myspace and stumbled onto this chick:


OK, do I have your attention now?

Miss O'brien here is "not a model" she is a "singer". I don't care what she calls herself. She's a slim irish chick (O'brien) and is packin some heat in that backyard.


That's some serious hook and arch game for how slim homegirl is.

I guess it runs in the family:


For someone who isn't a "model" she sure poses alot eh?


Whew. She's doin some work, and thats a work ethic I could get behind.

Meet Jamie O'brien HERE.


Cooking With Ollie:

This is a new segment I have been thinking about and finally decided to go ahead and do a post.

I want to give a shout out to the homie Reez from, because this meal is extra glutt.

Today's subject: Bacon/Cheddar Waffle with Eggs over easy.


Farmer John bacon, I prefer Kirkland brand from Costco, but hey, it was here.


Tip: To keep your bacon flat, put the bacon in the pan cold with the burners off.


To get the best possible bacon, ALWAYS pull the bacon out of the pan before it is completely cooked. Remember, bacon still cooks (the grease is still hot) when it is removed from the pan.


Tillamook medium cheddar.


Follow directions for waffle batter on the box. I prefer to use Bisquick. Notice the little air bubbles? The more bubbles, the lighter/fluffier your waffles will be.


Chop up the bacon using your trusty Cutco butcher's knife.



Add the bacon to the batter...


Add the cheese...




Make sure to use alot of pan spray to avoid sticking. Pour batter (with bacon and cheese) into waffle maker. Let it cook.


Use butter instead of oil for better taste when frying your eggs.


Turn off the burners right before you flip your eggs, to make sure they stay over easy. You want the eggs very runny, but not quite sunny side up.


Pull your waffle out of the waffle iron. Throw it on a plate, cover in butter...


Put your eggs (hopefully over easy) directly on top of the waffles. Drench with syrup.


Make sure you pop the egg to release the yolk, when it blends with the syrup it creates one of the best tastes on the planet. Consume and enjoy.


Serve with an extra large glass of chocolate milk.

-Ollie the Chef