Sunday, May 31, 2009

Makeshift - No Doze

The wait is finally over. The day is upon us. After months of build up and hype, NickelPlatedBama is very pleased to present:


Thats right folks. It is here. The "No Doze" mixtape is available for your listening pleasure.


24 tracks of pure fire from the BAMA's current favorite emcee: Makeshift.

You can download the whole mixtape, free of charge, right now!

Makeshift – No Doze for PC

Makeshift – No Doze for Mac

Do Not Sleep.


Wednesday, May 27, 2009

It's Down To The Conference Finals:

And still, I am not all that intrigued by the NBA playoffs. Granted, these playoffs have shaped up to be a bit more compelling than previous years, but nonetheless, the wrong teams are winning.

I think it is fair to assume that 90% of the world (the other 10% are Nuggets or Magic fans) wants to see a Lebron James vs. Kobe Bryant final. I know I do. So with the Cavs currently down 3-1 in their showdown with the Magic, and the Lakers knotted up at 2-2 against the Nuggets, the world is starting to worry about not getting what they want.

Here is a brief recap of the Cleveland/Orlando series in picture form...



Lebron, you need to be doing alot more of this...


and alot less of this...


Meanwhile, this guy...


has been doing nothing but this...



and the rest of the Cavaliers squad has been gettin served by a cat that looks like this...


HAHA. Flat out unacceptable. All I can say about this series is that Cleveland's running over of those weak ass 7/8 seeds in the first 2 rounds proves one thing...

Man, that shit is classic. Pure. Raw. Emotion.

Now to the Lakers/Nuggets series. I can't figure this shit out. Trying to bet this series has been nothing but pain for me, so I am going to take a different route to find out who ultimately will be the winner of this series.

Lets take it to the stars of their respective teams and their wives.

First up we have power couple (barf) Carmelo Anthony and Lala Vasquez (of MTV fame?).


Why does Carmelo insist on wearing those god awful bucket caps?


I can't front, Carmelo has been a straight up beast in these playoffs and continually taken it to Kobe every chance he gets.



Those bucket caps are really quite faggy, so several points get deducted right out the gate for wardrobe choices.

Now we get to young 'Melo's piece, the lovely miss LaLa...


Silky smooth skin tone. Chest plate on blast. That "good" hair. Thicker than a snicker, and then you get to the tail piece and it's just.. "eh"...


you see what I'm sayin...


Carmelo gets redemption tho because rumor has it that he was gettin some side cut with one the BAMA's current favorites, ms. Meagan Good.




Go 'head girl...

Everyone knows Kobe's wife is a rider. She took the hit when Kobe caught that rape charge, and she looks good for a mother of 2(?)...


lets see the summertime 2 piece...


I aint mad at that Vanessa.

I think Kobe wins the battle of the wives, but unfortunately I found this photo:


and we asked Lebron what he thought:


Yeah, my sentiments exactly.

Now I know I called the Lakers to win the Western Conference and I'm gonna stick with 'em, but just know that I won't be surprised in the slightest if these Nuggets pull it off.

-Ollie the analyst

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I'm Back:

I had a realllllly long weekend up in the sticks.

I know I haven't updated in like 5 days. Like I said, I was in the sticks with limited internet and to be perfectly honest, i needed the time away.

I fished every day and finally got that skunk monkey off of my back. A couple fun little bass got reeled in then released cause I'm a good person like that (FUCK PETA).

I got some good stuff to post on this week, so be patient and like Alcoholics Anonymous "keep coming back".

In hip hop news, Makeshift has officially wrapped on the No Doze mixtape but for some reason hasn't got the links over to me for the download (yeah, if you read this Shift, I'm talkin to you player.) HAHA.

I've been in contact with my old homie Pete Nelson. First person to tell me how the world should/would know Pete in the comments section, gets something real special from this site.


Thursday, May 21, 2009

Throwback Thursday: The Way Of The Gun

This movie is in my top 5 most bad ass flicks of all time. It is this movie and this movie alone that has given Ryan Phillippe a lifetime pass on any and everything he ever does. EVER. This guy could open mouth kiss Adam Lambert (American Idol) on live television and I would never question his absolute sheer fucking manliness.

This is the trailer for the movie to give you an idea of the basic synopsis...

Got your attention? Well, if I didn't, SERIOUSLY DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND CLICK HERE

The reason you have to click rather than being able to watch it right here is because EVERY COPY on youtube has had the embedding disabled. What a bunch of GEE AYE WHY cat ass bullshit.

That is without a doubt one of the best scenes from any movie at any point in time in the history of the world. And, just for the record, that is THE OPENING SCENE IN THE MOVIE!!

I love that he just decides to beat the shit out of Sarah Silverman and accept the ass whoopin he's got coming.

Benicio is pretty awesome too:

LOL. This is a true gem, cult classic. Right up there with Usual Suspects and The Boondock Saints.

-For the record I'll call myself Mr. Wrist

American Idol Recap:

So last night was the season finale of American Idol season 8 and I honestly couldn't give a fuck less. A few highlights of the show:

1. Bikini Girl Showed up with fake tits to extend her 15 minutes of fame. Not to be outdone, Kara Diogurdia (however the fuck you spell it) gave the world a little flash...


Nice smooth stomach goin on right there Kara, I ain't mad atcha.


New joints (tits) look aight, she looks alot thicker now too as compared to then...


I can't call it.

2. Bo Bice looks like he should be an extra on fuckin Twilight or True Blood or any other vampire spin off bullshit show/movie. (Side Note: I actually liked Twilight, does that make me Gee Aye Why?)


I really dislike that guy. I mean, REALLY fuckin' hate him.

3. This isn't a highlight, but the Spencer Pratt with dark hair guy, a.k.a. Kris Allen won the season...


"Hi, I am literally the plainest contestant this show has ever seen."

The general consensus seems to be that Adam Lambert should have won if you judge on pure talent, but as everyone knows, American Idol cannot get behind (no homo) an openly gay individual such as Adam. I mean, peep some evidence of this dudes cat ass behavior...


Dude looks like Posh Spice. Straight up. Anyways, with photos like that floating around the web, there was no way American Idol was crowning this dude as an "American Idol". That is just way too liberal for the conservative network.

Damn yo, I need to bounce back after that Rocky Horror Picture Show...


While "Bikini Girl" may not be my particular brand, at least she's got tits and a vagina (I assume).

Can't wait for next season (yes, the sarcasm is there and it's REAL).

-Awful Ollie the Hater

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Naked Guy on a Cross

Listen to that commentary.

"naked guy on cross" "naked guy deficates on cross". HAHA.

The real news video footage...

LMAO at him wiping the shit all over the cross. Now that my friends, is sacrelige.


Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Whooty Who? Laura Dore is a Worker

I know what you're thinking, who? Let me learn ya...


BAM! She is showin it all right out the gate. You see that thin waste that Bruce Leroy jump kicks right into that unreal hip game. I mean god damn, whats that ratio? 24/36? Whew.

Thats a good start, but we need to take a peak at that backyard to see where she makes the money...


And there it is! Holy mother of all things holy, my girl is a hard, HARD worker.

Now that we've established homegirl's credentials, lets just jump head first into the rest of the gratuitous extra curiculur multi-angle photos...


That stomach is just... whew. Yeah, thats the word.


Great arch... but is there more??


That is without a doubt my favorite. I can't explain why, but the glasses are doin it for me. GOOD LAWD.


And one more for good measure...


I see you girl and I'm lovin' that "over the shoulder, peepin my own tail cause it's so crazy" gaze you're throwin at me.

And you know with a name like Laura Dore, you can run with the whole "white girl with a booty" idea.

The airbrushers did my girl some serious justice, but until I see proof otherwise, I am going to assume that she is ab-so-fuckin-lutely flawless.

-Uncle Ollie

Make It Rain On You Hoes

Oh my GOD. If this is real (i.e. not a joke/spoof) this could possibly be the best youtube video to date.

If you punished yourself and didn't watch the video all the way through, go back up and click play. Then go ahead and fast forward to about the 2:27 mark.

ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND CUT! We got it. No more takes. You completely nailed it that time.

You're welcome.


Monday, May 18, 2009

Awkward Moments: Chris Webber vs. Kenny Smith

I've been noticing this since the beginning of the playoffs but never really decided to mention it until now.

I have come to the conclusion that:

A. Chris Webber does not like Kenny Smith.

B. Chris Webber would put the O.G. official ass whoopin on ol' Ken-dog.

Peep some video evidence of CWebb's thoroughness right here...

Every time Cwebb hits him with the "c'mon man" you can see it in Kenny's eyes. Kenny doesn't know what my man Webber's gonna do. Is he fittin' to ack-a-fool, or is he gonna keep his composure for the sake of television? Cwebb is the wild card. HAHA.

The boys at Us Versus Them get credit for the photo, but here is the patended Chris Webber, "C'mon man" look...


I think Kenny Smith knows that Cwebb is a street cat on some Steve Harvey "don't let the suit fool you, i'm from the projects" type shit. I mean, Cwebb spent MAD years in the bay area gettin hyphy with the likes of Yukmouth and the Luniz.



And while this may very well be the most cat-ass smile I have ever seen, you can still see a glimmer of that crazy eye that Cwebb stays showin cats.

While I'm on the subject Chris Webber and Kenny Smith, what the fuck is up with that new telestrator bullshit toy TNT's got him (Kenny Smith) playin' with. That shit is wack. Biggest waste of time in the history of televised sports analysis.

I just spent 20 minutes lookin' for video of that stupid machine he's using and came up completely dry. If anyone finds it, give me a shout.

Bottom line: Chris Webber is from the "Charles Barkley, hold no punches, kick 'em when they're down" school of philosophy and I can get behind that (no homo).

-Ollie the Analyst

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Craigslist To Remove Erotic Services

This is a terrible shame. You can read the whole story HERE, but a brief summary goes a little somethin' like this:

The erotic personal services section of has collapsed under the pressure of the "ultra conservative life ruining anti-gay fuckin' loons" on the far right and decided to no longer allow for online solicitation of prostitutes.

well Shit. Where else am I supposed to find such beauties as these:


Her information can be found HERE.

OR how about this bruiser HERE...


Or my personal favorite:



Man, I am really going to miss browsing the erotic personals (strictly for material, never for business). HAHA.

Everyone remembers this gem right??


Product of

What a shame. R.I.P. online prostitution. Well, not exactly, you can always fuck with THIS GUY if you're in the Florida, Georgia, Dirty South area. Peep the talent he's workin with...






Risky business right there. A hooker with a gun? (wiping my brow) Whew!

E-Mann is reallllly pimpin' right there. Keep your game tight Peeimp.

-Uncle Ollie da Don