New Year's Eve Report

So I had originally planned on heading my way on up to San Francisco for the night's festivities, but plans fell thru do to some unforeseen circumstances. Instead, just chose to get extremely drunk in a medium sized gathering of friends and family.

Anybody who was been reading this blog for the last year, or who saw last year's new years post, knows that I typically just take a shit load of pictures, post em, and crack jokes on folks. Unfortunately, that will not be the case this year as I do believe I was the only joke at the party. What can I say, I was playing beer pong, drinking moonshine, and gave my camera to my 14 year old cousin to snap photos which mostly ended up just being photos of his mother. haha.

Rang in the new year right, but didn't get any of that sweet lovin I was prowlin' for, but that's better anyways. I'm off to NYC to find my girl Lindsey (Lohan) in 2 weeks anyways, plenty of time for photos and jokes then.

There are a few funny photos from the night, but I didn't bring the camera with me today, so uploads won't be until tomorrow.

Highlights:

- "Youre a Monster". Some little kid told me that when i knocked his little brother down. ACCIDENTLY.

- Challenging 15 year olds to do impossible tricks on their skateboards for small sums of money.

- Kissed Nasty Nate on the lips (might be a lowlight actually). Love my cousin. Only male I've ever kissed in my life... what can I say.. The boy is damn near as charming as I am.

- Decided to make the 6+ mile walk home to my house in the fog at around 4 a.m. after a shitload of moonshine. Made it about 3/4 of a block before falling in a bush. Luckily the fam came cruisin on the prowl for me and saved me from my bush.

- Steve Kerr'd those muhfuckas in beer pong. El Draino son..

- My wild ass cousin hittin on me, then getting her mouth taped shut, and taped to a chair. (Whoever taped her to the chair, you fuckin rule). **EDIT** Credit to my 16 year old nephew for that idea. You definitely rule.

And I'd say that about covers it.

Back to Lindsey Lohan if I may, I caught this picture on one of the celebrity gossip blogs, and despite the wild ass bruise (looks suspiciously like a thumbprint from a firm ass slap), who knew Lindsey was draggin a wagon? I thought she was all tits...



Say what you want, but the girl continues to defy standards. She can't be more than 95 pounds with ankle weights on, but 26% of that total weight is pure tits and ass. Lindsey, I love you, if you're in NYC, holler at a young boss.

-Olls