Monday, July 26, 2010

Big Shit Poppin', Little Shit Stoppin':

Why in the Fuck is T.I. still getting movie roles? More importantly, How is this dude sharing the same on-screen time as Stringer Bell? With a muhfuckin' british accent? Stringer Bell for president, for real. I swear, I damn near, wait, scratch that, I did tear up when they waxed Stringer on The Wire. I mean, dude was cold, calculated, pure business and grime, with no emotions whatsoever... but ultimately, The boss has got to remain the boss, and Stringer had to go. He will go down as my third favorite character from the Wire, behind Michael. and Marlo Stanfield. Which brings me to my point, didn't mean to run off a recap of why The Wire was so dope (read: IT WAS THE GREATEST CRIME SAGA EVER) but how is it that this skinny lil dude right here:

gets more street credit in a suit than this muhfucka right here:

Wait, you might be wondering where this is all coming from. I promise I have a point. This new movie is coming out. It's called Takers, and here's the trailer:

I'm gonna see it. Call me easily entertained, but give me Paul Walker, Stringer Bell (Idris Elba, but will always be Stringer in my mind) in a british accent, and mr. "whoop that trick" himself C.Breezy and Imma watch it. Sprinkle in some Hayden Christensen (I know, he's awful, but Im nostalgic and I loved Star Wars despite how terrible it was) and a plot about a bank heist with the female lead being Zoe Saldana, you've got a hot ticket...

That is until you cast T.I. as the villain. I mean, really dog? who is Jamie Hector's (Marlo Stanfield) agent? This dude needs more work. I want him on the screen all the time. I have a role saved for him when and if I do ever finish writing my masterpiece (read: he plays Oliver Wrist, as Marlo Stanfield, never breaking character ever, haha)... I mean really tho, was there ever any harder bosses' talk than this:

"My name was in the STREETS?!?!"


Man I miss The Wire, somebody needs to get it together and write this show another 5 seasons. I need to stop here, otherwise I'll go all damn day.

-Ollie da Don


Yeah I know Stringer is british, he just does the "not british" role so well that when he goes back to the accent, its like he's discovered a whole new role and an untapped market as the master of british brothas or some wild shit. I'ont'know mayne. Just, you be cool like how you be cool, aight? I aint seent you and you aint seen me? aight.. WATER.

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