Friday, September 26, 2008

"The best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be"

Ok, so to say i was a wrestling fan in the early 90's is a complete and total understatement. I was reallllllllly into this shit. I went to like 10 different events over the course of my 4-5 year run with the WWF, not, mind you, NOT the WWE (Fuck is that about??)
With that said, I want to take a minute to let all you muhfucka's know what time it is, so go on with that ol' ultimate warrior, Hulk Hogan is the best bullshit...
How can you front on the guy who coined the phrase "the best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be"... I mean farildo, look at those glasses, that pink and black spandex joint, and the greatest finishing move ever, THE SHARPSHOOTER. Dood was bout it, no question, no flexin, but when his brother threw down a triple lindy (see Rodney Dangerfield in "Back To School") and plummeted to his death, Bret got tah steppin' quick. Bret, this sport thanks you for allowing your legions of fans to watch you fall off the face of the Earth and do as so many have done before you, Stay Broke!! I loved this cat when i was a kid, but when i got a little older i realized that while Bret was easily the best wrassler, he couldnt even fuck with mah dude the ravishing one, when it came to character.
Ravishing Rick Rude was the iceyist pimp to ever set foot in the squared circle. I mean, say that name outloud, the alliteration, the gangster ass twang, the hip swervin pimperish shit this muhfucka got away with just blew me away.
I seem to remember this other cat that came on the scene years after ricky rude had bailed out to no doubt go home and get his ike turner (see: the definition of pimpin) on.. His name was Val Venus a.k.a. The Big Valbowski. This dude was just flat terrible, tryin to bite off a piece of the elements that made up the ravishing one, 2 rules, no snitchin', and no bitin'.
Tell em what you think ike...
"Beeeeyyyyyiiiiiitttttttccccchhhh, get off dick and get on your own".

Don't let me forget about my man Ric Flair. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! When it comes to pimpin this fool is no slouch either, check the boa, that icey ass coat, and the leather skin, dudes face looks like a catcher's mit from 1936 (prolly around the time he was born) cause you know mah main man ricky is pushin 70, but still layin that pimp slap on a suckas chest (those that know, know my man aint no slouch) so you know this fool goes hard on his hoes, and i guarandamntee hes got a flock... hit em with that ice grill ric..

Give me back wrasslin when that shit wasnt strictly a soap opera, back in my day, they used to really get on a muhfucka for gettin outta line...

Respek (Ali G voice)

-Allofher Wrist

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