Just a Quick Heads Up:

This blog is still the greatest blog on the planet.

Oliver Wrist is still your favorite asshole.

My game is still tighter than yours.

My life is still better than yours.

Your mother still loves me more than you, and so does your girl.

I still have overly opinionated witty banter to spew at you insignificant fucks, I just haven't had the time or patience, OR desire for that matter, to do so.

I will be back with a vengeance starting next Monday, April 19, 2010. Mark that shit on your calendars.

Oh yeah, if you did me wrong in any way in the last, i dunno, sayyyyyyy 6-8 months, watch the fuck out, cause you will be getting blasted by name until such time as I feel that you have repayed your debt to society (or in this case, ME).

Oliver loves you, except for you, you, you, and you. YOU know who you are, you simple minded fucks.

All the love,

-Olls the menace

Hold The Fuckin' Phone: Shyne is Out?!?!

This day has seriously been on my mind for years now. The release of Jamal Barrow a.k.a. Shyne Po of the once infamous, now debunkt Bad Boy family. Oh you didn't hear? Combat Jack put the people up on what was really poppin' behind the scenes at Bad Boy over on his blog, Daily-Math.com. The Reader's Digest version goes like this... Diddy tried to strongarm Interscope records, frontin' like he was still top billin' for the heavy loot cakes, Interscope responded with, what now looks to me, like a straight hostile takeover and sat Diddy's punk ass down with the quickness. Bad Boy headquarters is now officially closed down, and Bad Boy records as a label, as a movement, as the epicenter for some of the most classic hip hop tracks ever created, will now be manned from a corner office at Interscope records, withOUT Diddy pullin the strings.

Wait... Seriously? Bad Boy with no Diddy? I'm gonna go on record now and say that Bad Boy will never officially release another GOLD album for the rest of it's existence. The wheels have fallen off. The dynasty is finished. Like so many before it (read: Roc-A-Fella, Death Row, Loud, etc.), Bad Boy has gone the way of the Buffalo. Has the last great piece of Hip Hop history fallen at our feet? The signs of Armageddon are real people. Let's read thru Nostradomus' works and cross reference the words Diddy/Bad Boy/End of Times, I'm sure Science can figure out a way to Blame Puff for ending the world. I mean, he did end Shyne's life...

Or did he...?

I'm not sure if it is neccessary or not to give the back story as to what happened that cold New York City night that ended with Shyne takin' the hit for the squad (like a true soldier), but I have to assume that all the minions and followers are not quite "up on shit".

The story that I believe most, (again, no one but J.Lo, Puff, Shyne, and a few other select individuals truly know what popped), is that Puff got yoked, decided to flex his bitchassness and pop a few shots at some cats to impress J.Lo, then threw the gun in Shyne's lap and said: "Do you want your record to come out? Take the heat".

Shyne, at this time was still a 21 year old goon straight out of the gutters of NY's mean streets, thuggin is in his blood, and at this time in the world of hip hop, what Puff said, was gospel.

Fast forward 3+ months, Shyne is facing 10 years for attempted murder, amongst other things. The verdict is read. Guilty.



The man who was supposed to bring Bad Boy back to the spot they so desperately sought after the loss of Biggie, is now takin' that trip up North for what, on paper, was reading as 10 full years.

Shyne goes up, and Diddy does as he promised and releases Shyne's first solo album to critical acclaim.

Pause... Some posts require some background music, and this, my dear friends, is one of them.



Press play before you move any further.

Shyne is the definition of Bad Boy. At the time of his arrest, Shyne had quite literally been, quote, unquote, "fuckin with" Puff for no more than a few months, but still sacked up and took the heat for Diddy's bitch ass to prove himself worthy of the throne that Biggie had left vacant some 2 years prior.

I'm gonna say this now and stand by it 'til the day I die, Shyne had the potential to be, excuse me for this, "That Nigga". I mean for real, for real. Shyne had it.

So now Shyne is hemmed up, troopin the bid like a loyal soldier.

The paparazzi caught Puff after the sentencing and asked him how he felt about the verdict...



Me too Puff, me fucking too.

This was all in 2000. In the years to follow, Shyne would remain silent behind the walls, never speakin out about the night in question, never givin up Puff and fingering him (no homo) as the man responsible, and how does Puff repay that debt?



naddagoodlook Puff...



The legacy that once housed the likes of Craig Mack, Black Rob, Notorious B.I.Fuckin G., The Lox, Junior Mafia, Lil Kim, etc. is now home to wack ass bullshit artists and cat-like motherfuckers like Que?

Oh hell nah Puff. Biggie is rollin in his grave every time Making The Band hits the airwaves.

Oh, and let's not forget the fact that Puff actually turned this hoe out:



(Quietly, on the low, yes I would.)

Where was I?

Oh right... Diddy is out here doin the Harlem Shuffle and building an empire all on the back and shoulders of Shyne's word as a man. It's the code of the street, it's the world I live in, "Snitches get Stitches", and Shyne never snitched. Not a word.



Let's just say, Shyne is out, and EVERY record label in the world better be offering up MILLIONS to my man.

I also firmly believe that Puffy needs to catch that realll ass whoopin' immediately. You can't pay back 10 years of someone's life, but you damn well better be comin correct with those "thanks for not snitchin" checks. I mean, I know Puff goes hard and strong arms these featherweight new-jack Making the Band types, but let me see you try that shit with Shyne Po. I'd give anything in the world to be in the building first time Shyne locks eyes with Diddy.

Don't think for one second that Shyne's rap game slacked at all, HELL NAH. If anything, my man is sharper than ever, I mean, bein locked up for 10 years with nothing but hatred in your heart and a brain full of thoughts, a man is bound and destined to produce one of the greatest albums Hip Hop has ever heard. Be checkin for that new Shyne album, whenever it drops.

Big ups to Shyne for being one of the last real soldiers in this bitch-ass infested world of hip hop.

Chuuurch.

-Ollie da Don

A Message to the Self Entitled Jerk-Off Pharmacist at Rite-Aid:

I have no fucking idea why you think that your punk ass degree is more valuable than the degree my doctor achieved to practice medicine, but you do, and I hate everything about you. I am so tired of you putting your fat foreign nose in my business every fucking time I try to get a refill. My doctor has no issues with my medications, but somehow your community college certificate of completion gives you the power/right to override my dr.'s reccomendations. Trying to flex the small bit of power you have over me does nothing but make me want to severely hurt you. I swear on everything I find holy (i.e. TBC, thick white women, Cubs' baseball, etc.) if I ever see you in the streets, you are getting destroyed. I am so mad right now I could spit nails, and you best believe I will be carrying this grudge around with me until such time as the problem is solved.

I am fucking livid and it's all your fault.

Now to the back story...

Last Thursday I visited with the dr. and got a bump in my prescriptions. Being as I am a cash patient and had limited funds I asked the pharmacist to give me a chunk of the script now and I would come back in on Tuesday when I got my paycheck.

So I go in last night to get the remainder of my prescription and this fucking piece of shit camel fucker (no racism) decides that because I am "back too soon" he is not going to give me what is rightfully mine.

I ask, very calmly at first, "what right do you have to tell me when I can and cannot pick up a prescription that was written for me" followed by "the dr. wrote the prescription for a specific amount, please explain to me how me picking them up 5 days apart and all at one time are different".

Fucking jack off pharmacist "sir, I don't care if the dr. wrote the prescription for 2,000 tablets, it is my discretion"...

To which I respond "how does that make sense to you? If I had enough cash on me to get the ENTIRE prescription last Thursday, you would have released the full prescription to me correct? Then why in the fuck would it matter that I had to wait until I got my paycheck to pick up the remainder?"

Jack-off (dumb fucking look on his face) "ummm sir, you'll need to lower your voice".

Ollie: "I am going to beat the shit out of you if I ever see you in the streets"

Jack-off "you're going to need to have your prescriptions transfered out of this pharmacy and stop threatening me"

Ollie: "It's not a threat. FUCK YOU."

Cut to Wednesday afternoon when I call to get my scripts transfered to a different pharmacy and this fucking P.O.S. has the audacity to add a note to to the fax that says "do not release until July 6, 2009.

You just punched your own ticket habib.

I am so fucking angry right now.

-Olls

Perz Hilton vs. Will.I.am: Who Gives A Shit?

Aight so, I am sure by now that all 7 of the readers of this blog (I think we lost Kristen to the small pox or something) have heard about this story being spun in the media concerning Perez Hilton getting lumped up by Will.I.Am's tour manager.

A quick breakdown of the scenario plays like this:

This fat, obnoxious tub-o-lard:



called this "leader of the macho movement" a fucking faggot:



The nerve of some people... HAHA.

I mean, for real tho, will.i.am has never been accused of being the most masculine of men, but nonetheless, if Perez Hilton, the self proclaimed "Queen of all media" (barf) calls you a "fucking faggot", you literally have no choice but to lump his skull up with zero regard for the consequences.

So after will.i.am's manager stepped up and delivered the ass whoopin to end all ass whoopin's...



Wait... Seriously? The scratch under your eye is the aftermath of that severe smackdown homeboy allegedly layed on your candy ass Perez?

GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE SON!!!

I have had worse paper cuts than that...

Of course the only logical solution to this fisticuffs you were involved in is to make a series of videos and release them to the internets for all the world to see and begin to take sides...

This is a good little sum-up video of both participants going at it. The original Perez video was 12 minutes of his blubbery ass crying like a little girl with a scraped knee. Yo, gay or not, you are a grown man son. Act your age and gender fareal.



I was gigglin hard at will.i.am in that video tho. Homie is straight laughing at being called a "fag" but quite possible the gayest cat in Hollywood.

I want to get serious for a second here though.

The general consensus seems to be that "the situation should have never became violent".

FUCK THAT. Straight up.

I aint no thug, but you better believe somebody gets that sideways with me they aren't walking away that easy. One little scratch under his eye would only be the start. I'm talkin BEAT_DOWN.

Moral of the story? will.i.am disappointed me by not going harder. I hate Perez Hilton and given the chance I would beat 7 shades of shit out of him.

Go hard!!

-Olls

Copywrite Is Back

Copywrite is not a fan of Asher Roth. I am a fan of Copywrite. It's fairly obvious to the masses how I feel about Asher Roth.

Dude is caca.



Just for clarification, that's a follow up to the original Asher Roth diss...



Thank you Copy. Thank you.

-Olls

50 Cent vs. Retarded White Guy??

Oh boy. Everyone wants in on the beef these days. Since "Fiddy" has basically given up on the idea of releasing classic rap albums, and has since decided to just start beefs with every rapper catchin any shine at a particular time in fiddy's world, it is only fair that the slow, dim-witted south park watching Rick Ross stans out there take it to Fiddy on behalf of their beloved favorite rapper(s).

This guy steps it up too. The rhetoric he's kickin is top shelf. Goin' after Fif for hittin the female followers with a fuckin dildo. A FUCKIN DILDO!?!?

For the most part I hate 50's music. But I give this guy uber props for pimpin the entire world for money while he basically does nothin' but create quasi-beefs with half-assed rappers. Take it how you want but know this, 50 doesn't go after the big dogs in the game. He tried to test Jigga, got shut down with one line, left that one alone.

50 seems to pride himself on his ability to "end rapper's careers". i think it's funny that even with all the tomfoolery and corporate thuggin, companies still look to 50 as "that guy" when they want something marketed. It is completely mind-blowing.

I can't call it.