Anybody who knows me personally knows 2 things that are 100% fact:
1. I am completely and totally self absorbed.
2. I am a disgusting pervert.
So when I saw this picture, I was automatically intrigued...
What you are looking at is the sperm collection bank in Shanghai. The girl's actually do the "milking process" for you. You get paid 30 dollars per donation. You can donate 3 times per visit (all hand extracted), and you can visit 4-5 times per month.
Are you kidding me?
I guaranfuckintee that if American fertility clinics started offering handjobs for extraction purposes, dudes would be lining up around the block to donate their time and sperm free of charge every day without hesitation.
Sign me the fuck up, RIGHT NOW.
This would be a huge change from my normal trips to the "collection bank" in which I haggle price with a non engrish speaking immigrant for 30 minutes before ultimately recieving my 45 seconds of "pure satisfaction" that costs me $100.00.
These "nurses" are actually willing to pay $30 bones to tug me? Really?
Fuck this shit, I'm going to Shanghai.
Story courtesy of Ignored Prayers.
-Ollie (feelin a little weird in my khakis right about now)