2 week layover. Your boy has been straight M.I.A. Haven't done anything noteworthy in that time. Unless of course you count allowing ol' what's her name to penetrate the defenses and metaphorically crush my spirit against my will. But that shit is all over and done with now. Brand new day and a brand new lease on life.
If you all remember correctly, back on January 1, 2009 I made a vow to not make any more apologies for any of my actions ever again. That, obviously, did not work out, as I have spent the last 9 months of my life constantly apologizing for shit I can't honestly say I was ever really apologetic for. It's poetic really. Think about it...
It's just what anyone would do. You focus all of your efforts onto a single project, whether it be your blog, your job, or, in this case, my relationship, and then, when it all hits the proverbial "fan" you're left wondering what the fuck just happened?
I guess it goes without saying, but with my inability to leave things left unsaid, I'm gonna jump up here on my soapbox and spit venom in the form of words to any and all that have done me wrong in the last year. What? You thought you were going to get a pass?
First and foremost, the city of San Francisco, and more importantly that certain NOBODY that, to this day, remains nameless. Fuck you and your whole existence. I'd like to blame you for the tumbling of my castle that I once thought was built of indestructable bricks, but recently realized that shit was paper thin, but the sad truth of the matter is that you were just an innocent pawn in someone else's grand facade. Keep livin' that dream.
Next up on the list... Aww Fuck it. It isn't even worth it anymore. I will not give you the satisfaction of knowing any more than you already do, just exactly what you have done.
I teetered on the idea of shutting down this blog due to it's ties monetarily (definitely not emotionally, what, you think you're owed something?) to a certain memory that has long since subsided and passed thru my system like last night's drug binge. And while I am on the subject of drugs...
#2 Fuck drugs. For real. I've made a few comments in the past to let on to my love for certain substances. For legal and medical reasons, I will not be divulging any more details about my past, current, or future struggles with this specific demon. Suffice it to say, if there was any ONE thing to blame for my current lethargic state and utter lack of motivation, you, my little friend(s?) would not be stricken from the list of catalysts.
I have stayed stagnant for far too long. My pessimistic outlook on life, while at times entertaining, has traversed the lines of comedic necessary evil, and entered into the realm of absolute control.
I'm tired tho. Like, for real, tired of being satisfied with mediocrity. Things have always come so easy for me that I have completely forgotten what it was like to struggle. You showed me that. So I guess if there was one thing I could be thankful to you for giving me, that would be it. You showed me what it was like to be miserable again. You showed me what self loathing REALLY is. "All Hail The Heartbreaker" HAHA.
I have slowly made the transition from what I wanted to be, to not even recognizing the person looking back at me in the mirror. I haven't been "happy" (who decides what happy is anymore anyway) for quite some time. With OR without you. I'll tell you where my happiness comes from now... or shit, maybe I won't cause I honestly couldn't tell you anymore. I know what doesn't work for me tho, and that's all that really counts today.
This post isn't all about "THAT" tho. It's also about "THIS"...
Some things that are great...
-Hope. The name says it all and it is quite fitting what that entails.
-Progress. No matter how much I stumble, I will ALWAYS bounce back and be better the next time.
-Freedom. Out from under the thumb of life.
I am absolutely sure that by now you are all just as confused as I was when I started this rant. Just know that that is to be expected. If you get it, then you're on the inside, if this was lost on you, well I'm sure you could check the archives for something a bit more your speed.
If you came here looking for tits and comedy today, all apologies for letting you down. The path back to greatness is long an narrow, but I'm on it, so I'll be keeping my peoples (if you're in, you know it) up on all the hottest shit just as soon as I get my shit situated and my head back facing forward.
Quote of the week "Is this what you call tact? I swear you are as subtle as a brick to the small of my back."
And, were clear.........................
Or are we?
-Kevin "I'm not Ollie when I'm real" Smith
Showing posts with label slippin'. Show all posts
Showing posts with label slippin'. Show all posts
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
Monday Morning News Break: WTF?
I caught this news story over on Bossip this morning and was bugged out. Peep the story:
"NEW YORK – A New York City woman says her father apparently lay dead for weeks in a minivan while police repeatedly left parking tickets on the vehicle.
Jennifer Morales of Manhattan told the Daily News on Thursday that she believes her father, George Morales, died of a heart attack.
Morales said she last heard from her dad in early May. She said she had contacted police, but police say they have no report on record.
A city marshal found the body of George Morales on Wednesday while trying to tow the minivan from beneath the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway overpass.
Parking tickets and dust covered the vehicle."
Alright, so seriously, you don't notice somebody layed out dead in the back seat? You don't smell death in the air? You don't think anything is wrong when you have written like 10 tickets to the same car in the same spot for over a week? You don't think to contact the station, call in the plates, check with missing persons, NOTHING? Seriously, NOTHING???!?
What I really want to know is if this bitch that just blindly issued these tickets is gettin the shaft for being so blatantly oblivious..
Damn son, some people...
"NEW YORK – A New York City woman says her father apparently lay dead for weeks in a minivan while police repeatedly left parking tickets on the vehicle.
Jennifer Morales of Manhattan told the Daily News on Thursday that she believes her father, George Morales, died of a heart attack.
Morales said she last heard from her dad in early May. She said she had contacted police, but police say they have no report on record.
A city marshal found the body of George Morales on Wednesday while trying to tow the minivan from beneath the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway overpass.
Parking tickets and dust covered the vehicle."
Alright, so seriously, you don't notice somebody layed out dead in the back seat? You don't smell death in the air? You don't think anything is wrong when you have written like 10 tickets to the same car in the same spot for over a week? You don't think to contact the station, call in the plates, check with missing persons, NOTHING? Seriously, NOTHING???!?
What I really want to know is if this bitch that just blindly issued these tickets is gettin the shaft for being so blatantly oblivious..
Damn son, some people...
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
I'm Back:
I had a realllllly long weekend up in the sticks.
I know I haven't updated in like 5 days. Like I said, I was in the sticks with limited internet and to be perfectly honest, i needed the time away.
I fished every day and finally got that skunk monkey off of my back. A couple fun little bass got reeled in then released cause I'm a good person like that (FUCK PETA).
I got some good stuff to post on this week, so be patient and like Alcoholics Anonymous "keep coming back".
In hip hop news, Makeshift has officially wrapped on the No Doze mixtape but for some reason hasn't got the links over to me for the download (yeah, if you read this Shift, I'm talkin to you player.) HAHA.
I've been in contact with my old homie Pete Nelson. First person to tell me how the world should/would know Pete in the comments section, gets something real special from this site.
-Olliewood
I know I haven't updated in like 5 days. Like I said, I was in the sticks with limited internet and to be perfectly honest, i needed the time away.
I fished every day and finally got that skunk monkey off of my back. A couple fun little bass got reeled in then released cause I'm a good person like that (FUCK PETA).
I got some good stuff to post on this week, so be patient and like Alcoholics Anonymous "keep coming back".
In hip hop news, Makeshift has officially wrapped on the No Doze mixtape but for some reason hasn't got the links over to me for the download (yeah, if you read this Shift, I'm talkin to you player.) HAHA.
I've been in contact with my old homie Pete Nelson. First person to tell me how the world should/would know Pete in the comments section, gets something real special from this site.
-Olliewood
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
The Search Is Over:
For those that still rely on the BAMA for their news intake, you probably haven’t heard about this. A brief recap:
Several Football players, including Marquis Cooper (formerly of the Raiders), Corey Smith (current free agent), and William Bleakley (South Florida standout) were out on a fishing boat off the coast of Florida over the weekend when their boat capsized due to hazardous weather conditions. Another football player, whose name I forgot was found sometime later clinging to the engine bay of the capsized boat. The rest of the bodies have not been found.
Here’s to hoping that football players, Marquis Cooper, Corey Smith, and William Bleakley (all pictured below) have somehow managed to find the fictional island from LOST and are still awaiting the rescue boats.
Unfortunately, the sad truth of the matter is that these 3 fellas have been considered dead and the search for them has officially been called off.
I can’t speak on the loss to professional sports considering I’ve never heard of any of these cats, but on a personal level, condolences to the families of the men lost at sea.
Just to lighten the mood a little, I thought brothas were afraid of the water, and more importantly the ocean?
R.I.P.
-Ollie
Several Football players, including Marquis Cooper (formerly of the Raiders), Corey Smith (current free agent), and William Bleakley (South Florida standout) were out on a fishing boat off the coast of Florida over the weekend when their boat capsized due to hazardous weather conditions. Another football player, whose name I forgot was found sometime later clinging to the engine bay of the capsized boat. The rest of the bodies have not been found.
Here’s to hoping that football players, Marquis Cooper, Corey Smith, and William Bleakley (all pictured below) have somehow managed to find the fictional island from LOST and are still awaiting the rescue boats.
Unfortunately, the sad truth of the matter is that these 3 fellas have been considered dead and the search for them has officially been called off.
I can’t speak on the loss to professional sports considering I’ve never heard of any of these cats, but on a personal level, condolences to the families of the men lost at sea.
Just to lighten the mood a little, I thought brothas were afraid of the water, and more importantly the ocean?
R.I.P.
-Ollie
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Kanye West: Suspect
CLICK HERE for the story about Kanye West wanting to expand his portfolio from egotistical techno-pop-hop artist to bisexual porn star. Yes, you read that right, Kanye is a wierd ass cat that told KING Magazine that he would be down for a guy/guy/girl scene. WHATTT???
Some people dog.
-Ollie on assignment
Some people dog.
-Ollie on assignment
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Another Month, Another God Awful Reality Show
This time around VH1 has tapped none other than Mr. "Sexy Can I, caught a mic check from Kimmy K, Brandy's lil' brother" Ray-J's bitch ass to act, errrr star in the newest of the "of love" celebreality show. YES!!!
Before I get into the guaranteed trainwreck of a show this is going to be, let me just say this:
I do know that I let the faithful down by not giving the weekly update on "Real Chance of Love". My reason's were simple though, the broads that I thought were going to make for the best T.V. caught the axe on night one, and I knew from jump that Real's bitch ass was gonna pick a white girl, and Chance was gonna ice out whatever hoes he had in the stable. Chance knows how to work reality t.v. And while I didnt report on the sheer goonery that was "Real Chance of Love" you should know that I watched 90% of the episodes and just wasn't excited about it. AT ALL. While I'm on the subject, I dont like the "Rock of Love" series either, and I am 100% convinced that Bret Michael's hair is a wig yo!
Anyways, can we get back to whats important here. The Hoes.
Up first we have "Atomic Bomb"..
First thoughts? She looks like she's got a little yellow streak runnin through. The chest is aight, we don't see an angle 2 (backshot), prolly gonna take the "quiet type" role. She should last about 4-7 episodes if she gets through the first night.
Next is "Cashmere"
Where in the hell do they come up with these names? I must remind the viewers of VH1 the ONLY REASON Flav named the hoes is 'cause his wild ass couldnt remember the broads names. Now I'm assuming here, but shouldn't Ray-J be able to remember these tricks names? anyways. Cashmere. The eyes are sayin somethin, but I'm not sure what that is. She's got the obligatory fake J's, but I'm lookin passed that to the leg/thigh work. She is lookin mighty slim in the thigh game, which leads me to believe that the tail piece just isn't there. And we all know Ray-J is a, shall we say, ass man.
Caviar:
Ol' girl right here looks like a model, but I'm thinkin she's a bit on the tall side, and Ray-J is a straight up midget. Don't think it will work, too bad, she looks pretty silky, but still lackin in the thickness department.
Chardonnay:
First of all, how you gonna name the darkest hoe in the joint chardonnay? Thats a white wine. I think "Merlot" or "Cabernet" would have been a bit more fitting. Second, how the fuck did this DUDE get past the screening test? That is obviously a post-op tranny, hoe looks like "Ms. Jay" from America's Next Top Model. HAHA.
Cocktail:
She's got a cute face, but there is a HUGE problem. Do you see all the slack in those jeans? I hope, for her sake, that is just a bad angle, but I have a sneaking suspicion that ol' girl might just be workin with the "negative ass" as dubbed by the homies over at UVT.
Danger:
The name says it all here. Peep the Tattoo on ol' girl's face and tell me she's comin home to momma. I feel like she's gonna make it a long way on the show cause I get the feeling Ray-J wants to get some cut-up with this one. Call me crazy...
Feisty:
Hoe looks like your typical "Tapout" "UFC" fight gear, ring girl. Peep the fake J's, lack of a tail piece, cooked in the oven leather skin, bleached teeth, Arizona State University "I've been fucked 20,000 times" but I'm not a slut punk ass hoe type'a vibe this bish is portrayin. The funny thing is, I think she'll go far because Ray-J likes the light skinded breezys.
Genuine:
She'll make it for about 3 episodes so as to avoid alienating the "big girl" population. There's just no way Ray-J is going from Kimmy K to Heavy G. Just ain't hat'nin. Clear?
Hot Cocoa:
These pants are just turrible. The hair is bad. I can't get with that mole. She looks extra tall. She gets an "E" for effort for pokin out that hip and tryin to show a player some thickness, but you can tell she is packin' ZERO heat. NEXT!
Lil Hood:
WHAT????!!?! Yeah, the whitest bitch out da burbs gets dubbed "Lil' Hood". OHMAHFUCKINGOD. There isn't even any novelty to the name. She looks like she looks horrible naked. Plus her face looks ALOT like "Sweet D" from "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (**Side note** if you aren't watching that show, you should kill yourself.) I am not a fan of the bottle of bleach blonde. I need a girl that is somewhat natural... Oh what a set up...
Naturalle:
NOPE. She is ugandan dark. Won't last long. Plus she looks like she's wild in the streets, fareal. Did anyone notice how long her fingers are? YUCK. On a positive note, the tittays look like they are sittin on dubs. Can't be mad at that.
Stacks:
OH Hell Nah! Dis Bish looks like Tichina Arnold (you remember Pam from "Martin!" right?). Super horse grill. 80's dress with the awful bra. Bad hair. Ultimately my vote for second to catch the boot.
Stilts:
Props to shawwwty for that extra aggressive hip pivot and chest poke. She's doin errrrythang she can to look right in this photo. The problem is, nothin' looks right. Ok, I get it, you paid for them dubs and you want everyone to know it. But that wig piece? OH LAWD. Thats like the "EMO T-BOZ". HAHA. At first glance, her right thigh looks like it is settin up for some thickness, but then you try to scope the backyard and instantly catch the crease in the jeans. Listen, anytime there is a crease in the jeans when you are that angled out, you know the tail piece is severely lacking. For some reason, I get the feeling she's hangin around a while, even though she is prolly 6'2" or so.
Last but not least, Unique:
Damn, this girl is swirled up like I have never seen before. That hair is pretty wild, but it works for her. Real cute smile. The clothes are doing her no justice makin her look all swollen like that, but the thighs don't lie. She definitely needs to get some dubs, but she's got that "Free" from "106th and Park" thing goin on. I aint mad at that.
Overall, I'm pretty jazzed for the new "of love" show VH1 has put together for us. If they were smart though, they would give "Midget Mac" his own show. Now that fool was icey. "You awwwwwready know!".
-For the love of Ollie
Before I get into the guaranteed trainwreck of a show this is going to be, let me just say this:
I do know that I let the faithful down by not giving the weekly update on "Real Chance of Love". My reason's were simple though, the broads that I thought were going to make for the best T.V. caught the axe on night one, and I knew from jump that Real's bitch ass was gonna pick a white girl, and Chance was gonna ice out whatever hoes he had in the stable. Chance knows how to work reality t.v. And while I didnt report on the sheer goonery that was "Real Chance of Love" you should know that I watched 90% of the episodes and just wasn't excited about it. AT ALL. While I'm on the subject, I dont like the "Rock of Love" series either, and I am 100% convinced that Bret Michael's hair is a wig yo!
Anyways, can we get back to whats important here. The Hoes.
Up first we have "Atomic Bomb"..
First thoughts? She looks like she's got a little yellow streak runnin through. The chest is aight, we don't see an angle 2 (backshot), prolly gonna take the "quiet type" role. She should last about 4-7 episodes if she gets through the first night.
Next is "Cashmere"
Where in the hell do they come up with these names? I must remind the viewers of VH1 the ONLY REASON Flav named the hoes is 'cause his wild ass couldnt remember the broads names. Now I'm assuming here, but shouldn't Ray-J be able to remember these tricks names? anyways. Cashmere. The eyes are sayin somethin, but I'm not sure what that is. She's got the obligatory fake J's, but I'm lookin passed that to the leg/thigh work. She is lookin mighty slim in the thigh game, which leads me to believe that the tail piece just isn't there. And we all know Ray-J is a, shall we say, ass man.
Caviar:
Ol' girl right here looks like a model, but I'm thinkin she's a bit on the tall side, and Ray-J is a straight up midget. Don't think it will work, too bad, she looks pretty silky, but still lackin in the thickness department.
Chardonnay:
First of all, how you gonna name the darkest hoe in the joint chardonnay? Thats a white wine. I think "Merlot" or "Cabernet" would have been a bit more fitting. Second, how the fuck did this DUDE get past the screening test? That is obviously a post-op tranny, hoe looks like "Ms. Jay" from America's Next Top Model. HAHA.
Cocktail:
She's got a cute face, but there is a HUGE problem. Do you see all the slack in those jeans? I hope, for her sake, that is just a bad angle, but I have a sneaking suspicion that ol' girl might just be workin with the "negative ass" as dubbed by the homies over at UVT.
Danger:
The name says it all here. Peep the Tattoo on ol' girl's face and tell me she's comin home to momma. I feel like she's gonna make it a long way on the show cause I get the feeling Ray-J wants to get some cut-up with this one. Call me crazy...
Feisty:
Hoe looks like your typical "Tapout" "UFC" fight gear, ring girl. Peep the fake J's, lack of a tail piece, cooked in the oven leather skin, bleached teeth, Arizona State University "I've been fucked 20,000 times" but I'm not a slut punk ass hoe type'a vibe this bish is portrayin. The funny thing is, I think she'll go far because Ray-J likes the light skinded breezys.
Genuine:
She'll make it for about 3 episodes so as to avoid alienating the "big girl" population. There's just no way Ray-J is going from Kimmy K to Heavy G. Just ain't hat'nin. Clear?
Hot Cocoa:
These pants are just turrible. The hair is bad. I can't get with that mole. She looks extra tall. She gets an "E" for effort for pokin out that hip and tryin to show a player some thickness, but you can tell she is packin' ZERO heat. NEXT!
Lil Hood:
WHAT????!!?! Yeah, the whitest bitch out da burbs gets dubbed "Lil' Hood". OHMAHFUCKINGOD. There isn't even any novelty to the name. She looks like she looks horrible naked. Plus her face looks ALOT like "Sweet D" from "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (**Side note** if you aren't watching that show, you should kill yourself.) I am not a fan of the bottle of bleach blonde. I need a girl that is somewhat natural... Oh what a set up...
Naturalle:
NOPE. She is ugandan dark. Won't last long. Plus she looks like she's wild in the streets, fareal. Did anyone notice how long her fingers are? YUCK. On a positive note, the tittays look like they are sittin on dubs. Can't be mad at that.
Stacks:
OH Hell Nah! Dis Bish looks like Tichina Arnold (you remember Pam from "Martin!" right?). Super horse grill. 80's dress with the awful bra. Bad hair. Ultimately my vote for second to catch the boot.
Stilts:
Props to shawwwty for that extra aggressive hip pivot and chest poke. She's doin errrrythang she can to look right in this photo. The problem is, nothin' looks right. Ok, I get it, you paid for them dubs and you want everyone to know it. But that wig piece? OH LAWD. Thats like the "EMO T-BOZ". HAHA. At first glance, her right thigh looks like it is settin up for some thickness, but then you try to scope the backyard and instantly catch the crease in the jeans. Listen, anytime there is a crease in the jeans when you are that angled out, you know the tail piece is severely lacking. For some reason, I get the feeling she's hangin around a while, even though she is prolly 6'2" or so.
Last but not least, Unique:
Damn, this girl is swirled up like I have never seen before. That hair is pretty wild, but it works for her. Real cute smile. The clothes are doing her no justice makin her look all swollen like that, but the thighs don't lie. She definitely needs to get some dubs, but she's got that "Free" from "106th and Park" thing goin on. I aint mad at that.
Overall, I'm pretty jazzed for the new "of love" show VH1 has put together for us. If they were smart though, they would give "Midget Mac" his own show. Now that fool was icey. "You awwwwwready know!".
-For the love of Ollie
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
30 minutes ago
I was treatin the old lady to a gourmet lunch at Costco (the hot dogs are on point) and your boy Ollie had to get a little sideways on this old man. Look, I hate alot of shit that goes on in this world, and a couple of those things I really hate are as follows:
1. I hate having my back to people (risk of being snuck up on)
2. I hate stupidity
3. I hate stupid people in my area
4. I hate when stupid people who don't know they're stupid stand behind me in my blind spot.
So here's what happened.
I'm sitting at one of those lovely Costco food court picnic tables:
about to indulge in the highest quality snack know to man:
when i start to feel a presence behind me. I turn around to find one of the creepiest looking Costco goers of all time pacing behind me and occasionally glancing over at my chick. I let it go for approximately 2 bites of my hot dog but i just couldnt take it anymore.
The conversation went as follows:
Oliver Wrist: "Excuse me sir, is there a reason you are hangin around behind me"
Old Creepy Guy: no answer
Oliver Wrist: "Hey, do you mind giving me some room to eat my lunch here"
Old Creepy Guy: "HUH??"
Oliver Wrist: "Dude, you are fuckin lurkin and hoverin' over my shoulder, give me some room"
Old Creepy Guy: (Confused look on his face) "uhh, ok?"
Oliver Wrist: "Now would be good".
The ball and chain (my gf): "that was rude"
Oliver Wrist: "Fuck him".
Man, i'm still fuckin annoyed by that shit and its been close to an hour ago. Who the fuck thinks its ok to stand 18 inches away behind my back and stare hella creepy at my chick? Aint happenin on my watch.
-Ollie the old guy intimidator
1. I hate having my back to people (risk of being snuck up on)
2. I hate stupidity
3. I hate stupid people in my area
4. I hate when stupid people who don't know they're stupid stand behind me in my blind spot.
So here's what happened.
I'm sitting at one of those lovely Costco food court picnic tables:
about to indulge in the highest quality snack know to man:
when i start to feel a presence behind me. I turn around to find one of the creepiest looking Costco goers of all time pacing behind me and occasionally glancing over at my chick. I let it go for approximately 2 bites of my hot dog but i just couldnt take it anymore.
The conversation went as follows:
Oliver Wrist: "Excuse me sir, is there a reason you are hangin around behind me"
Old Creepy Guy: no answer
Oliver Wrist: "Hey, do you mind giving me some room to eat my lunch here"
Old Creepy Guy: "HUH??"
Oliver Wrist: "Dude, you are fuckin lurkin and hoverin' over my shoulder, give me some room"
Old Creepy Guy: (Confused look on his face) "uhh, ok?"
Oliver Wrist: "Now would be good".
The ball and chain (my gf): "that was rude"
Oliver Wrist: "Fuck him".
Man, i'm still fuckin annoyed by that shit and its been close to an hour ago. Who the fuck thinks its ok to stand 18 inches away behind my back and stare hella creepy at my chick? Aint happenin on my watch.
-Ollie the old guy intimidator
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
The drought is finally over
After a 3 year hiatus from the winner's circle your favorite blogger, Young Ollie Da Don, finally won the football pool ive been participating in for the last 5 years.
Big ups to Phil Dawson for bangin home that career long 56 yard field goal to put the browns up 2 with under 2 minutes left in the 4th quarter. Yo Phil how did you feel after you punished that football for the 5th time tonight??
I can only imagine Phil...
On the flip side of that coin, Rian Lindell (the Buffalo Bills place-kicker)was not available for questioning after missin the 47 yard-into-the-wind field goal reminiscent of the WIDE RIGHT incident in the 1991 super bowl by now infamous place kicker Scott Norwood.
As for Brady Quinn, aside from being incredibly suspect: (please refer to photo below)
We've all been waiting to see him get some starts and prove once and for all that he is actually a worthy QB. He showed some metal last night in only his second start against a tough, albeit struggling as of late, Buffalo Bills squad. Im not gonna jump on the bandwagon just yet, but the Browns could play a spoiler roll in the AFC north.
In other football news, im calling for the head of Norv Turner. He made some absolutely awful coaching decisions on Sunday and allowed the once heavily favored (to win the Super Bowl) Chargers to fall to a sub-par 4-6 while Denver jumped up to 6-4 with a hard earned victory in Atlanta. If San Diego wins outright they will still turn in their worst record since 2004, and I for one dont get it. Marty Shottenheimer wins 14 games and gets released, only to be replaced by the notoriously bad head coach Norv Turner?? He still has a job when hes lead the Chargers to back-to-back seasons where they started out 3-5 and 4-6 respectively?? I just dont get it.
Chargers, Norv Turner, L.T., and Phillip Rivers especially, you need to step yo' fuckin game up!
Honorable mention to the Eagles and Bengals for puttin up the first tie in 6 years, and an extra special shout out to Donavan McNabb for not knowing that ties were possible...
HAHAHA. this muhfucka!
-Ollie
Big ups to Phil Dawson for bangin home that career long 56 yard field goal to put the browns up 2 with under 2 minutes left in the 4th quarter. Yo Phil how did you feel after you punished that football for the 5th time tonight??
I can only imagine Phil...
On the flip side of that coin, Rian Lindell (the Buffalo Bills place-kicker)was not available for questioning after missin the 47 yard-into-the-wind field goal reminiscent of the WIDE RIGHT incident in the 1991 super bowl by now infamous place kicker Scott Norwood.
As for Brady Quinn, aside from being incredibly suspect: (please refer to photo below)
We've all been waiting to see him get some starts and prove once and for all that he is actually a worthy QB. He showed some metal last night in only his second start against a tough, albeit struggling as of late, Buffalo Bills squad. Im not gonna jump on the bandwagon just yet, but the Browns could play a spoiler roll in the AFC north.
In other football news, im calling for the head of Norv Turner. He made some absolutely awful coaching decisions on Sunday and allowed the once heavily favored (to win the Super Bowl) Chargers to fall to a sub-par 4-6 while Denver jumped up to 6-4 with a hard earned victory in Atlanta. If San Diego wins outright they will still turn in their worst record since 2004, and I for one dont get it. Marty Shottenheimer wins 14 games and gets released, only to be replaced by the notoriously bad head coach Norv Turner?? He still has a job when hes lead the Chargers to back-to-back seasons where they started out 3-5 and 4-6 respectively?? I just dont get it.
Chargers, Norv Turner, L.T., and Phillip Rivers especially, you need to step yo' fuckin game up!
Honorable mention to the Eagles and Bengals for puttin up the first tie in 6 years, and an extra special shout out to Donavan McNabb for not knowing that ties were possible...
HAHAHA. this muhfucka!
-Ollie
Friday, November 14, 2008
This is straight triflin'
According to a website I frequent, Bossip.com, This shit is completely real. Damn, I hope my chick doesnt see this and try to catch me cuttin on the sneaks...LOL.
Im lookin out for my boys (no homo).
-Ollie Turner
Monday, November 10, 2008
Football day(s) in America
This just in:
The AFC west is second only to the NFC west as the weakest division in football.
My beloved Chargers who were billed as the "team to beat" in the AFC this year are under .500 and lookin worse every game.
So as we often do, we went ahead and asked Norv just what the fuck his problem is:
AS usual, he just looked the part of a damned fool.
Moving on...
Brett Favre looked like he was in a 1990's era Green Bay uniform this weekend when he absolutely demolished the punk ass Rams (NFC west stand up!)
Is it just me or does Brett look like hes rockin the first edition of the invisalign franchise braces in this picture??
The Raiders laid an egg and went with Walters ova yo' boyie Jamarcus (what a name btw) and even though Delhomme tried to give the raiders the game by throwing something like 6 picks, the Raiders did as the Raiders do and choked themselves (Joe Rogan take heed).
***note, if you didnt get the reference to Joe Rogan and choking himself you need to do your research and click this link right HERE ***
Tennessee is still undefeated, and with teams like Jacksonville, Detroit, Cleveland, and Houston coming up in the next 4 weeks, they can probably stay that way... Until they find out what Defense is really about and have to play Pittsburgh and Indianapolis respectively to finish the season.
***Isnt that just an awful photo??***
In college news, Texas Tech and Florida have unstoppable offenses, USC is not as great as everyone thought and should not even be mentioned in the national championship game discussion, Alabama squeaks by a mediocre (at best) LSU squad, and Penn State got beat by Iowa, yeah i said it, IOWA!!!
If i forgot to mention your team, its because they don't matter to me in any way, shape, or form...
The AFC west is second only to the NFC west as the weakest division in football.
My beloved Chargers who were billed as the "team to beat" in the AFC this year are under .500 and lookin worse every game.
So as we often do, we went ahead and asked Norv just what the fuck his problem is:
AS usual, he just looked the part of a damned fool.
Moving on...
Brett Favre looked like he was in a 1990's era Green Bay uniform this weekend when he absolutely demolished the punk ass Rams (NFC west stand up!)
Is it just me or does Brett look like hes rockin the first edition of the invisalign franchise braces in this picture??
The Raiders laid an egg and went with Walters ova yo' boyie Jamarcus (what a name btw) and even though Delhomme tried to give the raiders the game by throwing something like 6 picks, the Raiders did as the Raiders do and choked themselves (Joe Rogan take heed).
***note, if you didnt get the reference to Joe Rogan and choking himself you need to do your research and click this link right HERE ***
Tennessee is still undefeated, and with teams like Jacksonville, Detroit, Cleveland, and Houston coming up in the next 4 weeks, they can probably stay that way... Until they find out what Defense is really about and have to play Pittsburgh and Indianapolis respectively to finish the season.
***Isnt that just an awful photo??***
In college news, Texas Tech and Florida have unstoppable offenses, USC is not as great as everyone thought and should not even be mentioned in the national championship game discussion, Alabama squeaks by a mediocre (at best) LSU squad, and Penn State got beat by Iowa, yeah i said it, IOWA!!!
If i forgot to mention your team, its because they don't matter to me in any way, shape, or form...
He was always suspect...
On some real shit, Nick Cannon never even got to hit before he wifed up with Mariah Carey. Nick Cannon yousafool bwoy!
Everyone knows my stance on Nick Cannon's stupidity (see: he used to dick down Christina Milian) but this just tops the list right here.
Its in the eyes folks, and his eyes are screamin' "what have i done"...
Apparently it's a big deal for Mariah Carey to be 40 and have slept with one handful of men (see: 5 or less) including Nick.
I just gotta ask myself, is Nick Cannon really that much of a pimp that he is willin to go without hittin until the honeymoon just to keep Mariah from demanding a prenup??? All respek due to my man Cannon if thats his angle, Thats icier than Dolemite and Bobby Brown put together...
Nick Cannon takin cues from the likes of Webbie and Ollie and makin that hoe wipe him down...
I'll tell you this much, if Mariah Carey's old ass told me i had to wife it 'fo i could hit it... she'd be on the next train smokin, NO QUESTION!
I still can't believe this cat.
-Ollie
Everyone knows my stance on Nick Cannon's stupidity (see: he used to dick down Christina Milian) but this just tops the list right here.
Its in the eyes folks, and his eyes are screamin' "what have i done"...
Apparently it's a big deal for Mariah Carey to be 40 and have slept with one handful of men (see: 5 or less) including Nick.
I just gotta ask myself, is Nick Cannon really that much of a pimp that he is willin to go without hittin until the honeymoon just to keep Mariah from demanding a prenup??? All respek due to my man Cannon if thats his angle, Thats icier than Dolemite and Bobby Brown put together...
Nick Cannon takin cues from the likes of Webbie and Ollie and makin that hoe wipe him down...
I'll tell you this much, if Mariah Carey's old ass told me i had to wife it 'fo i could hit it... she'd be on the next train smokin, NO QUESTION!
I still can't believe this cat.
-Ollie
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
There will be no election talk today!
Yeah Right!!!
Come on folks, its November 4th, 2008. Its election day. Its time to get out there and do the right thing for yourselves (whatever your choice is, just make sure you not only voice it, but actually vote) and for your country.
It is the civic duty of EVERY AMERICAN to take a stance on every issue modern society is facing, MAN THE FUCK UP!!, and get out there and VOTE!
Whats it gonna be America? and more importantly California??
Are we going to piss and moan for the next 4 years about making the wrong decision? Is Barack Obama really going to be the savior of America??
"Lets get real here, As Americans continue to suck on the tit of "CHANGE", it has become more apparent to me that individuals are beginning to see themselves in a different light. Rather than believing that we are adults capable of altering our own situations, we have begun to look to other people to grab the reins and steer us in a different direction (see: Barack Obama)." - Young Smalls
There is NO ONE PERSON that is going to change this country. It takes the entire nation to elect this…ehem… singular figure…we are seeking, and believe it or not folks, even after he is elected, it is still in the hands of Americans to decide what he can and cannot do.
All this “WE NEED CHANGE” and “YES WE CAN” rhetoric is nothing more than a well scripted crowd pleasing chant.
The change comes FROM US, not FOR US. Just remember that.
-Ollie has voted, have you??
P.S. Californian's NO is the way to go.
Come on folks, its November 4th, 2008. Its election day. Its time to get out there and do the right thing for yourselves (whatever your choice is, just make sure you not only voice it, but actually vote) and for your country.
It is the civic duty of EVERY AMERICAN to take a stance on every issue modern society is facing, MAN THE FUCK UP!!, and get out there and VOTE!
Whats it gonna be America? and more importantly California??
Are we going to piss and moan for the next 4 years about making the wrong decision? Is Barack Obama really going to be the savior of America??
"Lets get real here, As Americans continue to suck on the tit of "CHANGE", it has become more apparent to me that individuals are beginning to see themselves in a different light. Rather than believing that we are adults capable of altering our own situations, we have begun to look to other people to grab the reins and steer us in a different direction (see: Barack Obama)." - Young Smalls
There is NO ONE PERSON that is going to change this country. It takes the entire nation to elect this…ehem… singular figure…we are seeking, and believe it or not folks, even after he is elected, it is still in the hands of Americans to decide what he can and cannot do.
All this “WE NEED CHANGE” and “YES WE CAN” rhetoric is nothing more than a well scripted crowd pleasing chant.
The change comes FROM US, not FOR US. Just remember that.
-Ollie has voted, have you??
P.S. Californian's NO is the way to go.
Monday, October 27, 2008
As promised: More tomfoolery
Now, I know that most people revel in the fact that athletes, musicians, and celebrities are shaping our world and being added to lists of influential people, but can we please get real here?? I started this rant last week, but due to a severe sinus infection, i was unwilling to add any more pressure to my head by continuing with the list of "the worlds top 49 most influential men in the world" as compiled by Askmen.com until i was physically capable of accepting the head trauma that stems from the rage i feel when reviewing this list.
I digress. #'s 49-39 have already been bashed and can be found HERE
#38 Jacquez Herzog
Aside from the fact that he looks like a definite candidate for AIDS, i got no problem with his spot on the list. He's some Euro architect, and makes pretty dope buildings from what ive seen. Google him and see for yourself... If you care..
#37 J.J. Abrams
Is it just me or is this guy a cross between this guy:
Johnny Galecki (pussy ass David, Darlene's boyfriend on Roseanne) and this guy:
(that annoying Verizon Wireless guy)..
Anyways, aside from his uncanny resemblance to these two annoying Z-listers I aint mad at J.J. for making this list. He is changing up T.V. as the creator of LOST, a show I admit I have never watched, but have heard nothing but good things. In my defense, I watch way too much celebreality/sportscenter to be able to add LOST to my must-see list.
#36 Andrew Farrah
WHO?? exactly, but he's a really big deal. This is the guy behind the development of Chevrolet's new plug in electric car slated for release sometime in 2010. I'm down with this pick but seriously, Developing a fully electric vehicle should win Nobel prizes but he gets the #36 spot on influential men's listing, sharing the 30's with Rafael Nadal and David Beckham... ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING...
#35 Sam Houser
Yeah, he's the developer of the video game series Rock Band. Video Games are a big deal to alot of people, but i seriously have no use for any video game outside of Madden 2006 period. This series of games allows the less-than-musically-inclined crowd a chance to be the rockstar they always wanted to be in the comfort of their own home, further helping the cause of social phobia. Jeezus Christ.
#34 Tiesto
With a name like Tiesto and a gaze like that you gotta know homie is playin for the pink team despite the fact that he's engaged to this fine piece:
So, basically he's a really huge DJ over in Europe known for his 4 hour spin sessions. Who gives a fuck?? Granted, thats a long time to spin for anyone, but when you're ridin the white horse and Etarded, the time just flys. As for me, I have never been into house/trip hop/rave/techno/acid jazz or any other form of that garbage ass music hes spinning, but its big in the gamer world, so i guess those internet nerds are the majority of voters for this list.
#33 Brad Pitt
Exactly why is he on this list?? 5 years ago he was the man. Why you ask? He was ice cold on Aniston (who is completely looney since he left, a definite sign of his ice cold pimperishness), He wasn't a philanthropic environmentally adopt-happy hot mess of celebrity. I'll tell you this, Angelina Jolie was bad about 8-10 years ago (see: Gia) and she could have called the shots in the relationship with anyone then, but now she is straight used up. Need I remind you 'dis bitch used to wear a vile of Billy Bob Thornton's blood around her neck? Damn Brad, you gotta step yo game up homie. You're Brad Pitt, you could literally put the screws to ANY woman on the planet and you want to take looney ass Angelina? Well anyways i guess he makes the list because he does so much good for this world... HAHAHA. Truly believing in a cause and being led around by the nose are 2 completely different things and Brad, im sorry to report, is a subject of the latter.
#32 Harvey Levin
No doubt this guy influences pop culture and is highly deserving of his spot on the list. He is the developer of TMZ.com and TMZ tv. If you arent familiar with TMZ, you must have been been in a coma for the last several years. TMZ is basically the biggest collection of paparazzi's on the planet and they are in full effect everyday. They really work hard to bring us our celebrity news.
#31 Judd Apatow
Judd is the prducer/director of some of the funniest movies in the last 4 years. His catalog includes 40 year old virgin, Superbad, Knocked Up, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and PLENTY of other great raunchy comedies. He is personally responsible for making Seth Rogan relevant (thank you for that by the way, Seth is funny as hell).
#30 Rafael Nadal
WHAT?!? Dude plays tennis, THATS IT! OK, hes really dominant in tennis, he basically owns Roger Federer, but other than that, I cant even say that ive ever even heard him speak. How in the fuck is he on this list, and not only that but higher on the list than Andrew Farrah (for those of you who are prone to use of the greenery thus forgetful, he's the developer of Chevy's electric vehicle). Dude constantly rocks a bandana, has greeeeeezy ass hurr (see: hair) and wheres ultra long shorts in a sport that requires complete mobility of the legs. I dunno about you, but this sickens me.
#29 Junot Diaz
WHO?? yeah, my sentiments exactly. He's an author with a New York Times' bestseller. Great. The majority of people in this new techno-crazed world do their reading online now, so you have to sell something like 10,000 copies to become a bestseller. That shits weak
#28 Arnold Schwarzenegger
Really? why? Lets get this straight right now, Arnold does NOTHING as the governor of California. NOTHING. he is told by advisors and economy experts and speech writers what to do, say, make, think, etc. Im not entirely convince Arnie isn't a robot. I mean, peep that speech patern.. Ya'll saw Terminator right?? LOL. jokes.
#27 Liu Peng
Liu was/is the chairman of the 2008 Olympic games in Beijing. I aint mad at this pick and don't have much to say about it except that he allowed those 12 year old chinese girls to compete and ruled there wasn't sufficient evidence that they were too young (see: not 16) to participate. Whatever though, the chinese had the gymnastics sewn up anyways.
#26 Jimmy Kimmel
You mean the less funny/unoriginal partner to Adam Corrola (who didn't make this list, more on that later)? You mean the guy that every comedian in the world takes a shot at for having no talent and somehow managing to maintain a spot on late night television with top shelf guests? You mean the guy whos girlfriend (see: Sarah Silverman) makes her living making dick and fart jokes? Yup, thats him. Congrats Jimmy, you have given the rest of the comedic world more reason to resent you for being places you dont deserve to be.
#25 David Beckham
Whew. Look, in general im a fan of Beckham. The guy is ice cold. He's not half the soccer player he was...even...3 years ago, but somehow manages to trick every soccer team in the world into having a bidding war for his services. He straight pimped L.A. when they signed him for like 60 million and he didnt even play the first 5 or 6 games. HAHA. I love that type of iceyness, but other than that, the fact that he is a master of marketing himself, he doesnt do much for me. He's married to Posh, who i'll admit is fly, but Dog, your David Beckham, you're on that Brad Pitt fix (see: can have any bitch in the world). And can i please address the faux hawk. We all know my feelings on the faux hawk, and if you dont just click HERE and get caught up.
Im gonna stop here for now, but have no fear, im back on the warpath tomorrow.
I digress. #'s 49-39 have already been bashed and can be found HERE
#38 Jacquez Herzog
Aside from the fact that he looks like a definite candidate for AIDS, i got no problem with his spot on the list. He's some Euro architect, and makes pretty dope buildings from what ive seen. Google him and see for yourself... If you care..
#37 J.J. Abrams
Is it just me or is this guy a cross between this guy:
Johnny Galecki (pussy ass David, Darlene's boyfriend on Roseanne) and this guy:
(that annoying Verizon Wireless guy)..
Anyways, aside from his uncanny resemblance to these two annoying Z-listers I aint mad at J.J. for making this list. He is changing up T.V. as the creator of LOST, a show I admit I have never watched, but have heard nothing but good things. In my defense, I watch way too much celebreality/sportscenter to be able to add LOST to my must-see list.
#36 Andrew Farrah
WHO?? exactly, but he's a really big deal. This is the guy behind the development of Chevrolet's new plug in electric car slated for release sometime in 2010. I'm down with this pick but seriously, Developing a fully electric vehicle should win Nobel prizes but he gets the #36 spot on influential men's listing, sharing the 30's with Rafael Nadal and David Beckham... ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING...
#35 Sam Houser
Yeah, he's the developer of the video game series Rock Band. Video Games are a big deal to alot of people, but i seriously have no use for any video game outside of Madden 2006 period. This series of games allows the less-than-musically-inclined crowd a chance to be the rockstar they always wanted to be in the comfort of their own home, further helping the cause of social phobia. Jeezus Christ.
#34 Tiesto
With a name like Tiesto and a gaze like that you gotta know homie is playin for the pink team despite the fact that he's engaged to this fine piece:
So, basically he's a really huge DJ over in Europe known for his 4 hour spin sessions. Who gives a fuck?? Granted, thats a long time to spin for anyone, but when you're ridin the white horse and Etarded, the time just flys. As for me, I have never been into house/trip hop/rave/techno/acid jazz or any other form of that garbage ass music hes spinning, but its big in the gamer world, so i guess those internet nerds are the majority of voters for this list.
#33 Brad Pitt
Exactly why is he on this list?? 5 years ago he was the man. Why you ask? He was ice cold on Aniston (who is completely looney since he left, a definite sign of his ice cold pimperishness), He wasn't a philanthropic environmentally adopt-happy hot mess of celebrity. I'll tell you this, Angelina Jolie was bad about 8-10 years ago (see: Gia) and she could have called the shots in the relationship with anyone then, but now she is straight used up. Need I remind you 'dis bitch used to wear a vile of Billy Bob Thornton's blood around her neck? Damn Brad, you gotta step yo game up homie. You're Brad Pitt, you could literally put the screws to ANY woman on the planet and you want to take looney ass Angelina? Well anyways i guess he makes the list because he does so much good for this world... HAHAHA. Truly believing in a cause and being led around by the nose are 2 completely different things and Brad, im sorry to report, is a subject of the latter.
#32 Harvey Levin
No doubt this guy influences pop culture and is highly deserving of his spot on the list. He is the developer of TMZ.com and TMZ tv. If you arent familiar with TMZ, you must have been been in a coma for the last several years. TMZ is basically the biggest collection of paparazzi's on the planet and they are in full effect everyday. They really work hard to bring us our celebrity news.
#31 Judd Apatow
Judd is the prducer/director of some of the funniest movies in the last 4 years. His catalog includes 40 year old virgin, Superbad, Knocked Up, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and PLENTY of other great raunchy comedies. He is personally responsible for making Seth Rogan relevant (thank you for that by the way, Seth is funny as hell).
#30 Rafael Nadal
WHAT?!? Dude plays tennis, THATS IT! OK, hes really dominant in tennis, he basically owns Roger Federer, but other than that, I cant even say that ive ever even heard him speak. How in the fuck is he on this list, and not only that but higher on the list than Andrew Farrah (for those of you who are prone to use of the greenery thus forgetful, he's the developer of Chevy's electric vehicle). Dude constantly rocks a bandana, has greeeeeezy ass hurr (see: hair) and wheres ultra long shorts in a sport that requires complete mobility of the legs. I dunno about you, but this sickens me.
#29 Junot Diaz
WHO?? yeah, my sentiments exactly. He's an author with a New York Times' bestseller. Great. The majority of people in this new techno-crazed world do their reading online now, so you have to sell something like 10,000 copies to become a bestseller. That shits weak
#28 Arnold Schwarzenegger
Really? why? Lets get this straight right now, Arnold does NOTHING as the governor of California. NOTHING. he is told by advisors and economy experts and speech writers what to do, say, make, think, etc. Im not entirely convince Arnie isn't a robot. I mean, peep that speech patern.. Ya'll saw Terminator right?? LOL. jokes.
#27 Liu Peng
Liu was/is the chairman of the 2008 Olympic games in Beijing. I aint mad at this pick and don't have much to say about it except that he allowed those 12 year old chinese girls to compete and ruled there wasn't sufficient evidence that they were too young (see: not 16) to participate. Whatever though, the chinese had the gymnastics sewn up anyways.
#26 Jimmy Kimmel
You mean the less funny/unoriginal partner to Adam Corrola (who didn't make this list, more on that later)? You mean the guy that every comedian in the world takes a shot at for having no talent and somehow managing to maintain a spot on late night television with top shelf guests? You mean the guy whos girlfriend (see: Sarah Silverman) makes her living making dick and fart jokes? Yup, thats him. Congrats Jimmy, you have given the rest of the comedic world more reason to resent you for being places you dont deserve to be.
#25 David Beckham
Whew. Look, in general im a fan of Beckham. The guy is ice cold. He's not half the soccer player he was...even...3 years ago, but somehow manages to trick every soccer team in the world into having a bidding war for his services. He straight pimped L.A. when they signed him for like 60 million and he didnt even play the first 5 or 6 games. HAHA. I love that type of iceyness, but other than that, the fact that he is a master of marketing himself, he doesnt do much for me. He's married to Posh, who i'll admit is fly, but Dog, your David Beckham, you're on that Brad Pitt fix (see: can have any bitch in the world). And can i please address the faux hawk. We all know my feelings on the faux hawk, and if you dont just click HERE and get caught up.
Im gonna stop here for now, but have no fear, im back on the warpath tomorrow.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
These cats cant be serious!
In my quest to become the greatest blogger i can be, I am forced to traverse through some pretty rough terrain to bring you, the valued readers, strictly the best of the best out there on the interweb. Now i know i miss some obvious stuff. But, thats just it, its obvious, therefore i wont waste your time (or mine!) bloggin about this trivial shit that perpetually surrounds you and I alike (like everything i blog about isnt trivial, but im just sayin)...
Moving on now, yesterday i stumbled across the Askmen.com top 49 most influential men of 2008. It wouldnt be enough for me to link you to the site, no, you know your ol' boy Ollie is going to break down each individual, so that you, again the loyal reader of this blog, will not have to waste your time reading the opinions of the collective 200,000 men (see: idiots) that voted to compile this list..
Instead you will get my opinion and my opinion only...
The list itself will prolly be broken down into sections of 10-15 guys at a time as i dont want you spending your entire day reading one post, and I will prolly be so mad by the end of the first section of these cats that i will want to throw the keyboard through the monitor...
So without further ado, the list begins with...
#49 Kevin Rose
I know what youre thinkin... WHO?? yeah, thats exactly where i was until i researched a little. Basically, this guy started the website Digg.com, its like a college humor on consumption junction where you get your daily dose of funny, news, gossip, etc... (basically nickelplatedbama??) anywho, it was rumored that google was going to pay this dude 200 million for rights to the site but he held out, the market fell out, and well now, lets just say hes rebuilding without that long google loot. Dumb bastard... I ask now what/who did he influence to make this list?? I mean sure he runs a cool website (obviously not that cool, ive never been to it or even heard of it until yesterday), but what else does he do? Hes a nerd. he doesnt even do his own research or write his own text, he just steals it from everyone else. Bottom line, he does not deserve to be on this list.
#48 Lil Wayne
That Lil Wayne? really? the one that got caught tryin to smuggle kilos of that white, bricks of that green, still sippin on that purple drank, gun totin, vocoder swagger jackin Lil Wayne? that Lil Wayne, really?? GOOD LORD.
Alright lets get real for a minute, im a weezy fan, there i said it, but there is no way on earth he should ever make a list of most influential men in the WORLD. Granted, Weezy is one of the most influential in the rap game without question, but other than that rap what has he given us?? He has inspired a slew of garbage ass rappers gettin deals while every A&R in the business is quickly lookin to find the next Weezy. He has shown young black Americans how NOT to dress:
He has shown young black Americans how to drink sizzurp and act a damn fool, he has inspired the world to take pills and get into "slow flow" mode, but has he done a damn thing to help ANYONE besides himself to get better?? HELL NAH. Weezy i love you dog (no homo) but you do not deserve to be on this list, EVER.
#47 Criss Angel
Alright i gotta be real here, I actually like this cat's illusions/stunts whathaveyou, but who does he influence outside of young magicians (are there even any out there, magic is kinda dead isnt it?) I sure hope its not his fashion sense, or hairstyles that are influencing folks, cause we will seriously be a fugayzee ass society if we start takin our cues from this cat. NEXT!
#46 Alex Rodriguez
Ok, I admit that i've been waiting for a chance to use that picture of A-Rod being super cat-like lettin that ol chinamen rub on his chest plate (also dude, chinamen is not the preferred nomenclature, asian american please)..back to your regularly scheduled rant... So A-Rod plays baseball, steps out on his wife, blackballs the yankees, holds out on contracts, breaks down for a half a season, and still makes this list over other baseball standouts, like i dont know, Derek Jeter for instance?? A-Rod has been recently gettin alot of play in the media for alledgedly havin a sex tape with Madonna... isnt that bitch like 60 bro?? STEP YO GAME UP A-Rod, when you start pullin top notch tail like Meagan Good, hell even Vida Guerra, then you might crack the top 50 next year. until then, youre CUT!
#45 Sidney Crosby
Who? well unless youre an avid sportsfan and watch sportscenter 3 hours a night, you wouldnt have a clue. He's a pro hockey player and is supposed to represent the next coming of new blood to the NHL. Like anyone gives a fuck about hockey. There is no reason he should be on this list, period.
#44 Ryan Seacrest
I can get behind Ryan Seacrest (no homo) makin this list. Dude hosts a morning talk show, hosts an afternoon T.V. show, and hosts American Idol during its season. He definitely influences pop culture (see: influence). Aside from the fact that he is blatantly gay, ridiculously smug, and generally carries an ora of sheer assholeness (which i aint mad at) Seacrest deserves to be on this list.
#43 Thom Browne
OH you mean Kanye's new stylist... EEHHNNNTTT. NO, im bullshittin, nah this cat is a designer that used to be down with Armani but as with most designers decided his creative control was lackin so he was going to start his own line... Like you are really fuckin with Armani dollars homie? puhlease. Anyways he makes clothes that are way too small and encourages people to wear that garbage, so no, i dont like him and he has no business on this list.
#42 David Simon/Ed Burns
These guys are responsible for bringin us the wire.
If youre not up on the Wire, i cant even fuck witcha. ITS THAT SIMPLE. The Wire is quite possibly the best television series of all time, "yeah i said it, NOW WHAT YOU GON' DO??"
No doubt they deserve to be on this list and in my opinion (which is the only one that counts here) they should be much higher on this list.
#41 Lewis Hamilton
Yeah he's a brotha. Yeah he's young. Yeah he drives a formula one race car. So what? So does Danica Patrick and shes a chick. Bottom line fuck Lewis Hamilton, homie drives go-karts. BEAT IT!!
#40 Brett Favre
Ol gray bush himself made the list?? oh well, im not really mad at this pick. He's keepin hope alive for the average man over 40 thinkin that its all downhill (and for most of you it is, sorry) from here. Good work Brett, but you still look stupid in a Jets jersey and you should have stayed your punk ass at home.
#39 Heath Ledger
Ok, now i know its prolly completely morally wrong to go hard on someone thats dead, but i have a reputation to uphold and not even death gives you a pass on your tomfoolery.
I have openly admitted to having "10 things I hate about you" in my top 50 movies of all time. What can i say, im a big fan of teenage angst ridden comedies, plus that kid David krumholtz is wild as fuck!
With that said, Heath Ledger has only made one flick that i have refused to watch and just like Voldermort (for you Harry Potter nerds) the name of that film shall not be mentioned. I havent seen "The Dark Knight" (I know, don't start) but i hear homie was the real deal in that joint. So, ultimately Heath Ledger falls into that category of live fast, die young, hollywood fatalities and its a shame that even though his best roll ever (from what i hear) was "The Joker" he will always be remembered for backin down Jake Gyllenhall. YUCK.
Ok, ive had enough for now. I may be back a little later this afternoon to touch on this subject again, but i gotta get my wits back about me. Im so mad i could spit nails. I can only stand behind two of these 10 men (no homo) picked thus far.
What is this world coming to??? Im seriously getting worried about this country, if the list continues like this (which you know it will) i'm going to lose it.
Moving on now, yesterday i stumbled across the Askmen.com top 49 most influential men of 2008. It wouldnt be enough for me to link you to the site, no, you know your ol' boy Ollie is going to break down each individual, so that you, again the loyal reader of this blog, will not have to waste your time reading the opinions of the collective 200,000 men (see: idiots) that voted to compile this list..
Instead you will get my opinion and my opinion only...
The list itself will prolly be broken down into sections of 10-15 guys at a time as i dont want you spending your entire day reading one post, and I will prolly be so mad by the end of the first section of these cats that i will want to throw the keyboard through the monitor...
So without further ado, the list begins with...
#49 Kevin Rose
I know what youre thinkin... WHO?? yeah, thats exactly where i was until i researched a little. Basically, this guy started the website Digg.com, its like a college humor on consumption junction where you get your daily dose of funny, news, gossip, etc... (basically nickelplatedbama??) anywho, it was rumored that google was going to pay this dude 200 million for rights to the site but he held out, the market fell out, and well now, lets just say hes rebuilding without that long google loot. Dumb bastard... I ask now what/who did he influence to make this list?? I mean sure he runs a cool website (obviously not that cool, ive never been to it or even heard of it until yesterday), but what else does he do? Hes a nerd. he doesnt even do his own research or write his own text, he just steals it from everyone else. Bottom line, he does not deserve to be on this list.
#48 Lil Wayne
That Lil Wayne? really? the one that got caught tryin to smuggle kilos of that white, bricks of that green, still sippin on that purple drank, gun totin, vocoder swagger jackin Lil Wayne? that Lil Wayne, really?? GOOD LORD.
Alright lets get real for a minute, im a weezy fan, there i said it, but there is no way on earth he should ever make a list of most influential men in the WORLD. Granted, Weezy is one of the most influential in the rap game without question, but other than that rap what has he given us?? He has inspired a slew of garbage ass rappers gettin deals while every A&R in the business is quickly lookin to find the next Weezy. He has shown young black Americans how NOT to dress:
He has shown young black Americans how to drink sizzurp and act a damn fool, he has inspired the world to take pills and get into "slow flow" mode, but has he done a damn thing to help ANYONE besides himself to get better?? HELL NAH. Weezy i love you dog (no homo) but you do not deserve to be on this list, EVER.
#47 Criss Angel
Alright i gotta be real here, I actually like this cat's illusions/stunts whathaveyou, but who does he influence outside of young magicians (are there even any out there, magic is kinda dead isnt it?) I sure hope its not his fashion sense, or hairstyles that are influencing folks, cause we will seriously be a fugayzee ass society if we start takin our cues from this cat. NEXT!
#46 Alex Rodriguez
Ok, I admit that i've been waiting for a chance to use that picture of A-Rod being super cat-like lettin that ol chinamen rub on his chest plate (also dude, chinamen is not the preferred nomenclature, asian american please)..back to your regularly scheduled rant... So A-Rod plays baseball, steps out on his wife, blackballs the yankees, holds out on contracts, breaks down for a half a season, and still makes this list over other baseball standouts, like i dont know, Derek Jeter for instance?? A-Rod has been recently gettin alot of play in the media for alledgedly havin a sex tape with Madonna... isnt that bitch like 60 bro?? STEP YO GAME UP A-Rod, when you start pullin top notch tail like Meagan Good, hell even Vida Guerra, then you might crack the top 50 next year. until then, youre CUT!
#45 Sidney Crosby
Who? well unless youre an avid sportsfan and watch sportscenter 3 hours a night, you wouldnt have a clue. He's a pro hockey player and is supposed to represent the next coming of new blood to the NHL. Like anyone gives a fuck about hockey. There is no reason he should be on this list, period.
#44 Ryan Seacrest
I can get behind Ryan Seacrest (no homo) makin this list. Dude hosts a morning talk show, hosts an afternoon T.V. show, and hosts American Idol during its season. He definitely influences pop culture (see: influence). Aside from the fact that he is blatantly gay, ridiculously smug, and generally carries an ora of sheer assholeness (which i aint mad at) Seacrest deserves to be on this list.
#43 Thom Browne
OH you mean Kanye's new stylist... EEHHNNNTTT. NO, im bullshittin, nah this cat is a designer that used to be down with Armani but as with most designers decided his creative control was lackin so he was going to start his own line... Like you are really fuckin with Armani dollars homie? puhlease. Anyways he makes clothes that are way too small and encourages people to wear that garbage, so no, i dont like him and he has no business on this list.
#42 David Simon/Ed Burns
These guys are responsible for bringin us the wire.
If youre not up on the Wire, i cant even fuck witcha. ITS THAT SIMPLE. The Wire is quite possibly the best television series of all time, "yeah i said it, NOW WHAT YOU GON' DO??"
No doubt they deserve to be on this list and in my opinion (which is the only one that counts here) they should be much higher on this list.
#41 Lewis Hamilton
Yeah he's a brotha. Yeah he's young. Yeah he drives a formula one race car. So what? So does Danica Patrick and shes a chick. Bottom line fuck Lewis Hamilton, homie drives go-karts. BEAT IT!!
#40 Brett Favre
Ol gray bush himself made the list?? oh well, im not really mad at this pick. He's keepin hope alive for the average man over 40 thinkin that its all downhill (and for most of you it is, sorry) from here. Good work Brett, but you still look stupid in a Jets jersey and you should have stayed your punk ass at home.
#39 Heath Ledger
Ok, now i know its prolly completely morally wrong to go hard on someone thats dead, but i have a reputation to uphold and not even death gives you a pass on your tomfoolery.
I have openly admitted to having "10 things I hate about you" in my top 50 movies of all time. What can i say, im a big fan of teenage angst ridden comedies, plus that kid David krumholtz is wild as fuck!
With that said, Heath Ledger has only made one flick that i have refused to watch and just like Voldermort (for you Harry Potter nerds) the name of that film shall not be mentioned. I havent seen "The Dark Knight" (I know, don't start) but i hear homie was the real deal in that joint. So, ultimately Heath Ledger falls into that category of live fast, die young, hollywood fatalities and its a shame that even though his best roll ever (from what i hear) was "The Joker" he will always be remembered for backin down Jake Gyllenhall. YUCK.
Ok, ive had enough for now. I may be back a little later this afternoon to touch on this subject again, but i gotta get my wits back about me. Im so mad i could spit nails. I can only stand behind two of these 10 men (no homo) picked thus far.
What is this world coming to??? Im seriously getting worried about this country, if the list continues like this (which you know it will) i'm going to lose it.
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