Yankees Win!!!

Big fuckin deal. Let the bandwagon riding "I've always been a fan" bitchassness begin. Seriously, how are the Yankees not gonna win? Wasn't like 75% of their roster on the AL all-star team this year? The fuck outta here dude. It was set in stone. I don't like to buy into baseball conspiracy (it's too great of a game), but the Yankees win the World Series, at home in the NEW 80 bazillion dollar replica of former Yankee stadium, first year it's operational? Seems fishy. Farildo. Yankees had this shit wrapped up in Philly more than once, but dump the game(s) to take it home, stretch the series for them commercial dollars, and lock it in AT HOME.

Think about it. How much loot is lost when a series is a 4 game sweep? That air time during the world series doesn't come cheap, and Fox knows this. Especially when you got 2 East Coast teams dueling for the championship. So when the series goes 6, Fox is cleaning up.

For the record, I watched a total of 35 minutes of playoff/world series baseball this year. As soon as the Cubbies mailed it in right around August, baseball lost it's flavor with the quickness. I mean, seriously, all this means to me is that I have to burn yet another cubbies hat and add another year to the neverending story that is "the lovable losers from Chi-town".

Just cause it makes me laugh, I'm gonna run this joint again...



I will not front on A-Rod's ability to change a game with the glove OR the bat at any given time, but my man really needs to tighten up that belt and quit exhibiting so many feminine qualities.

Highlights in your wig piece? Check.

Eyes closed in extasy while a grown ass Asian DUDE is caressing your bare chest? CHIZECK!

Why does this photo exist? I mean really, in what situation did A-Rod's manager/agent/wife/someone who cares allow this to happen? Why is this acceptable behavior? And more importantly, why is this the only photo from the photoshoot? What happened to the rest of the series? What lines were crossed?

Nevermind. Don't answer that.

-O-Rod

Some People's Children...

I thought that since I am preparing for my departure to Huntington Beach for Agenda and don't have much time to write, I would hit the peoples with some classic "ugly people" photos from my personal collection. I am more than sure that most, if not all, of these photos have definitely been seen by the readers, but FUCK IT, they make me laugh and this is my blog so complain to someone who cares.



















You see how giving I am? I could have kept this for myself and posted each one individually on days when I didn't have anything to blog about, but instead I give it to my peoples. All 9 of you (Welcome back Kristen)...

-Olls

Unexpected Tail: Kate Beckinsale??

One of the Bamettes hipped me to this the other day. I never gave this chick a second look. I mean, she's fly, but she wasn't packin heat where it counted. Or was she??



That thigh game is ferocious, but is there a tail back there??



You're damn right there's a tail. Is she the new Jessica Biel?



I can't go that far yet. What I can say is this: I have spent an unreasonable amount of time reviewing these photos and I seriously can't seem to find a single thing wrong with Kate Beckinsale. She is as close to flawless as I can find.

Let's review:

Pretty face? Decent chest plate?



Check. Check. Fierce thighs? Smooth stomach?



Check. Check. Tail?



Chiggity Check. Hot euro accent?



Yep. Look out Nelly Furtado, Kate Beckinsale is coming for that #1 spot.

-Uncle Ollie

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Damn, homey got so played out. He's straight sleepin son.

P.S. did you hear all those bones break? My God.

-Ollie

Question: Is Jessica Biel Losing the Tail??

So I'm making my normal rounds on the web, checking out random celebrity gossip sites when I stumble onto these photos of long time favorite Jessica Biel outside the studios of "The Late Show" or some shit:







What the fuck happened Jessica? I mean seriously, just last year you looked like this:





I am gonna go with bad wardrobe decision on this one, but a memo to J Beezy, homegirl, you better double up on the squats/lunges/thrusts. Just last year you were in the running for baddest white chick in the game and now you're rockin the square tail, pancake spongebob special.

I know the boys Brock and Lake from Us Versus Them will be chiming in on this one.

So what do the rest of the 6 readers of this blog think? Is Jessica losing the tail piece?

-Ollie

Photobombing:

One of the BAMA's informants hipped me to this website this morning. Low brow laughing at other peoples misfortunes.

Peep some gems I picked off from the site:



Peep the gay gangsters. HAHA.



What the hell is that 3 year old doing in Fredrick's of Hollywood?



That guy...

thisisphotobomb.com Check it out. Pretty good stuff over there.

-Olls

Holy Shit:

Yo word niggas - Watch more Funny Videos


I seriously cannot describe the way I am feeling after watching this. I mean, what the fuck dude? What is with my man's beak? His eyes are all pupil. That hair is not doing him any favors niether son. This shit is straight wild.

To address the one post a day issue, I know. I have alot of stuff to write about, but I am working 8 hours a day and my time is a little limited. What can I say man? This bloggin' shit is a struggle. I need a partner.

Want to write a weekly column on the BAMA? Hit me with a comment or e-mail (nickelplatedbama@gmail.com) and lets get it slappin'.

-Ollie

Naked Guy on a Cross

Listen to that commentary.

"naked guy on cross" "naked guy deficates on cross". HAHA.

The real news video footage...



LMAO at him wiping the shit all over the cross. Now that my friends, is sacrelige.

-Ollie

Whooty Who? Laura Dore is a Worker

I know what you're thinking, who? Let me learn ya...



BAM! She is showin it all right out the gate. You see that thin waste that Bruce Leroy jump kicks right into that unreal hip game. I mean god damn, whats that ratio? 24/36? Whew.

Thats a good start, but we need to take a peak at that backyard to see where she makes the money...



And there it is! Holy mother of all things holy, my girl is a hard, HARD worker.

Now that we've established homegirl's credentials, lets just jump head first into the rest of the gratuitous extra curiculur multi-angle photos...



That stomach is just... whew. Yeah, thats the word.



Great arch... but is there more??



That is without a doubt my favorite. I can't explain why, but the glasses are doin it for me. GOOD LAWD.



And one more for good measure...



I see you girl and I'm lovin' that "over the shoulder, peepin my own tail cause it's so crazy" gaze you're throwin at me.

And you know with a name like Laura Dore, you can run with the whole "white girl with a booty" idea.

The airbrushers did my girl some serious justice, but until I see proof otherwise, I am going to assume that she is ab-so-fuckin-lutely flawless.

-Uncle Ollie

Make It Rain On You Hoes

Oh my GOD. If this is real (i.e. not a joke/spoof) this could possibly be the best youtube video to date.

If you punished yourself and didn't watch the video all the way through, go back up and click play. Then go ahead and fast forward to about the 2:27 mark.


ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND CUT! We got it. No more takes. You completely nailed it that time.

You're welcome.

-Ollie

My Prayers Have Been Answered

"The Lawwwwd is good and he knows what I want"...

Big shouts to the boys over at Us Versus Them for gettin the drop on this before I could get my grubby little hands on it.

What am I talkin' about? You're just dyin' right now aren't ya?



Hoopz ya'll, I'm talkin bout Hoopz.

Word hit the streets (internet) a little over 48 hours ago that there is in fact a "Hoopz" SEX TAPE signed, sealed, and waiting to be delivered to the loyal crowd of sinfully degenerate perverts out there.

My man holdin' the keys to said tape is an expert in marketing as well. Peep the screen caps he released to the web as an appetizer.









Man oh man. first Cassie, then Rihanna, and now my all time favorite reality star Hoopz?

Thank you. Whoever you are that is responsible for bringin me this never ending supply of celebrity nip and tail, THANK YOU.

-Uncle Ollie

Am I Seeing Things??

I have touched on my distaste for Lady Gaga on several occasions over the last several months on this blog. I mean, let's be honest, that music of her's is pure trash and this bitch has a schnauz like Gonzo from the fuckin' Muppet Babies...



Is there really any wonder why she is constantly covering that bad boy up with ridiculously large stunna shades?



HAHA. So you can imagine my surprize when I stumbled onto these joints (below) that revealed an AMAZING tail piece hiding behind that hideous face of hers... Oh you don't believe me do you?



I know what you're thinking, she's poking it out. There's no thickness there right? WRONG!



There couldn't possibly be a close up of that hook/arch game could there?



Are you seeing that hook? Good lawwdd!

Who knew that this broad:



Was packing this kind of heat?



Wow. Color me a believer.

It's a damn shame her face looks like a failed wire hanger abortion and she dresses like a short bus rider because that ass is thick.

Let's examine the J's to see if we have a complete package here (sans that face, cause Dr. 90210's entire staff workin' round the clock couldn't save this chick)...



Well, we won't get ahead of ourselves here.

I have to give ol' girl credit on that tail piece, but I think that's where it stops.

She needs several nose reductions, her eyes brought closer together, and a new stylist (cause that knock-off Bjork shit isn't gettin it done) before she gets official stamp of approval from your boy Ollie, but ladies of the world take heed, Gaga is bringin' some serious heat in the backyard so you better double up on your squats and thrusts.

Damn. I can't stop peepin these joints.

-Ollie

Ying Yang Twins Translated:

I caught this little gem over on Warming Glow and I gotta tell you, while it is a bit longer than the average video posted on here(running at a little over 7 minutes), it is worth every second.



HAHAHAHA!

Dude, So many things to point out.

1. The translation's are pure comedy. You can tell that Mr. Wonka (the translator if you didn't get to the end of the video) grows more and more annoyed throughout the video. I think it culminates around the 4:30 mark when he hits the viewers with this gem in reference to the "gator fur" on display...

"The Gator's thick white fur protects it in the winter". LOL.

2. "The Sea Room"? That shit blew me away. They have 3 fucking fish in that tank. 3!! How ghetto does that shit look with the cords just hangin all over the damn place? And how 'bout those paintings? They look like they were purchased from a street vendor in Long Beach on a 3 for $20 special.

3. How broke are these cats? Seriously? At the 3:40 mark, peep that extra official 26" t.v. and the Target "red light clearance" special ghetto blaster.

4. And the whips. Let's ask Lieutenant Worf how he feels about these scrapers...



Are these cats really pumped on the 2003, stepside, extended cab, canary yellow Chevy on Pep Boys' clearance blowout aluminum 19" rims? I know cats in high school that have harder whips.

5. How hard up were the producers of MTV for a celebrity crib to run in this episode? I mean shit, was Corbin Bernsen (of "Major League" fame) all booked up? I would have rather seen a cribs episode on Bill Bellamy...

6. This just goes to show how you can take the homie out the dirty ghetto, but you can't take the dirty ghetto out the homie...

7. Is it just me or does Kaine(?) have a striking resemblance to Mac Dre?




HAHA.

P.S. What ever happened to the Ying Yang Twins?

Crunk is dead. Thank you Hyphy movement. R.I.P. Mr. Furly.

-Ollie the hater

Throwback Thursday BBOTD: Lisa Raye

Everybody remembers Lisa Raye right?



She played "Diamond" in that Ice Cube produced flick "The Player's Club"... Peep some video for recollection purposes only. NSFW.

Lisa Raye - The Players Club
Uploaded by jojoxlt

Sorry... I had to sneak off for a second there... LOL I keeed I keed..

Instead of explaining how dope Lisa Raye was/is I'm gonna let the photos do the talking. Let's get a second angle on that bikini shot...



JEEZUS. Does everyone see that definition between thigh and ass? The inner thigh too... "The lawwwd is my shepid, he know what i wahnt!!"

Yeah, those joints are from the late 90's, so the question we are left asking is: "Does she still got it??"



And the ever so classy "ecentric, self expressing" joint:



CotDamn. That's a bubble. No other way to describe it. The honey bit doesn't do much for me, nor does that awful ass afro, but the thighs line up with that tail so nicely that I can let that bullshit slide.

For the record, Lisa Raye is now 41 and divorced from an abusive husband. Cougar alert. I bet she'd be pretty easy prey after that horrible relationship she just got out of... Food for thought...

-Allofher Wrist