NICKELPLATEDBAMA: myspace of the day

Showing posts with label myspace of the day. Show all posts

Friday, August 14, 2009

Big Hardcore Mean Azz Wyte Boi

I recently got a friend request from your boi on myspace and I am quite literally blown away by this cat.

From Young Cohod’s "about me" section:

"I GREW UP IN HALEYVILLE ALABAMA LIVED HERE MOST OF MY LIFE. JUST A SOUTHERN ARTIST ON DA MOVE BOUNCING TO DA NEW GROVE IF YOU FEEL ME LET ME KNOW IF YOU DON'T I WILL HELP PUT U IN THE HOLE, WIT DA REST OF THEM HATERS!!!!!!!!!!"

Yep. That's the real deal right there. I do appreciate that he sites my main man Haystack as one of his biggest influences. If you aren't familiar with the greatness that is Haystack, let Ollie learn ya:

Yessir! Haystack turned his wedding video into a music video for his "hit single" "Bonnie & Clyde".

Enough about Haystack, back to Young Cohod. I can't find any embed or html codes to put his music up directly so do yourself a favor and go peep his Myspace Page RIGHT HERE. This kid is the definition of Hillbilly, country as all hell, inbred white-boy rap. It is so bad it almost feels like it's supposed to be comedy. I mean, this shit is just pure trash.

Do your thing Young Cohod, and please, for the love of all things holy, don't ever stop makin' these hits and "puttin these haters in a hole".

Ign'ant..

-Ollie the Scholar

Monday, April 6, 2009

Myspace Of The Day: Jamie O'brien

Cruisin' around on myspace and stumbled onto this chick:

OK, do I have your attention now?

Miss O'brien here is "not a model" she is a "singer". I don't care what she calls herself. She's a slim irish chick (O'brien) and is packin some heat in that backyard.

That's some serious hook and arch game for how slim homegirl is.

I guess it runs in the family:

For someone who isn't a "model" she sure poses alot eh?

Whew. She's doin some work, and thats a work ethic I could get behind.

Meet Jamie O'brien HERE.

-Ollie

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Myspace Of The Day:

I think its pretty well known that I am a serious pervert. So with that in mind please don't read to deep into why i was there, just know that I was.

I was shamelessly adding famous people to my myspace friends list today when it hit me... Who has more time to spend surfing blogs then perverted middle age men? And where is the best source to find these perverted middle aged men on myspace?? YES!! You guessed it, on young porn star's myspace pages.

So I'm checkin out Bree Olson's myspace (who is extra bad by the way):

and I scroll down to the comments section of her page. Not sure why, but I always, always read comments on peoples myspace pages. The nature of curiousity i suppose.

Anyways, I see this quote right here (taken directly, no changes made):

"Bree Olson
Thanks for adding me and you tail you a lote that you very sexy eyes i wish i wake up them every morning..love you thanks for adding me..
John"

At first I assumed that John was middle-eastern or chinese, or at least mildly retarded, so i went ahead and investigated a little further...

CLICK HERE TO MEET JOHN

As of right now, John has not accepted my friend request so I havent had a chance to see any other photos beside his default. But from the looks of that haircut and those ultra thick coke bottle rims, I assume homie is heavily disturbed.

It just goes to show why myspace is so much better than facebook. There is no elitism on myspace. Anyone can be friends with anyone. And that my loyal subjects (all 8 of you) is something I can get behind (no homo). Keep fighting the good fight Tom. And to you Mark Zuckerberg, don't think because you gave me back my friend requesting priviledges that you are off the list. You are still getting slapped on site.

And because the backshot is now required by NPB law:

Enjoy perverts. Incidentally, if you are anything like most people, you are probably wondering what this PYT (pretty young thang) is workin with in the sack. CLICK HERE for a sneak peek. And yes, that is the first time in the history of the BAMA that I linked to a known porn site. Things are really lookin up.

-Ollie

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Do You Urinate When You Cough or Sneeze?

If you remember in day one of the ASR/AGENDA trip I talked about that sign I saw that asked the question from the title.

This is a message I got in my inbox on myspace. The writer of said message wished to remain anonymous. It is written exactly as I received it.

"so what if i wake up every morning and read your blog before i have a coffee. thats dedication. but you see i usually do pee and little when i cough or sneeze. especially sneeze. the problem is dont pee when i should i always wait for the last minute before theres an explosion in my body then i go. i just figure if i have full bladder it can get me out of most sticky situations. all i have to do is pee my pants."

HAHA. Pure dedication. Feel free to take a guess as to who wrote this.

-Ollie the Kingpin

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Myspace profile of the day

I was just thumbin through some random myspace profiles and came across this gem right here...

CLICK HERE

I think i've made it abundantly clear how i feel about 90% of white rappers, hell most rappers in general but this kid, well, he may just take the cake.

If you're lazy and choose not to click the link, here's some motivation for ya...

Taken directly from his "my photos" section on myspace...

Judging from that haircut alone one would have to assume he was from some podunk midwest state, i.e. Iowa, Kansas, etc. But no, he's a left coaster folks. I cant make this shit up. His name is "Mista C" and his grill stays shinin...

HAHA. Damn pimpin, youz cold on these hoes..

-Ollie the provider

First Time Here?

If this is your first time stopping by NickelPlatedBama, I would suggest getting a feel for the blog by going through the archives. There have been too many classic posts to count. If you disagree with an opinion here on the site, make it public. The writer of this blog suffers from a rare condition that allows him to feel absolutely zero remorse when attacking a person's character or, in most cases, lack there of. Please feel free to enjoy, hate, participate, tell a friend to tell 2 friends, but always, ALWAYS stop back here again tomorrow, as you never know what this looney bastard might say next...

Directly below this box you will find an interview with Oliver Wrist by Oliver Wrist that should serve as an FAQ. Anything else you want to know, Oliver will literally answer any and all questions you may have, so don't be shy, shoot an email to Oliver Wrist at: nickelplatedbamadotcom@gmail.com

Nickel Plated Bama: Who? What? When? Where? Why? and How?

Who writes NickelPlatedBama?

Oliver Wrist writes, edits, designs, takes photos, and publishes NickelPlatedBama personally Monday-Friday. Oliver Wrist is an alter ego that I created as a means of getting things off of my chest. Ollie is irrational and flagrant. Once boos are introduced, the hillarity ensues. Rather than feel bad, Oliver chooses to embrace his lunacy and use his shamelessness for a greater good. Oliver's travels and opinions are documented on an almost daily basis. I say almost daily because I don't work on weekends.

What is NickelPlatedBama? What is A Nickel Plated Bama?

Nickelplatedbama is a face-melting social commentary blog written from the perspective of a self absorbed asshole with no shame or morals to speak of. If you're into hip hop music, silky smooth breezys, absurdly opinionated witty banter and reading the rants of an anti-social, overly confident, self absorbed "writer" (for lack of a better word) please continue. NickelPlatedBama is a source for venting and bashing, hating and thrashing, shitting and blasting on everything from bad food to bad music and everything in between. I don't hate everything however. NickelPlatedBama and more importantly Oliver Wrist praise iconic figures such as the ever elusive white girl thickness, mid-'90's hip hop, fashion, graffiti, art, ice cold behavior, celebreality t.v., Chicago Cubs baseball, San Diego Chargers football, College Basketball, Early '90's WWF wrestling, laughing at other peoples misfortunes, and generally acting like a complete type-a sociopath.

Nickel Plated Bama is extra gutter street slang for a nickel (the precious metal) plated hand cannon. You know, a burner, a strap, a gat, a tre pound, a whistle, or for the uninitiated a gun.

When did NickelPlatedBama get started?

Oliver Wrist has been the other half of my split personality for years. It originally started as my DJ'ing name. My career as a DJ lasted only about as long as it took me to write this BIO. As it turns out, I am an awful DJ. Not because I play bad records, but because I butcher the scratches. My brother, Young Smalls, a.k.a. DJ Fuzzy Badfeet, has taken over the reigns and is now my own personal DJ. Although Smalls refuses to accept the things I have taught him since birth as doctrine, he still gets the Oliver Wrist stamp of approval as a purveyor of all things mixed well. He uses my turntables, my mixer, and my records to do his thug-thizzle, but he is a much better DJ than I could ever be, so I just give him enough shit to remain enthusiastic. Being that my foray into the DJ world went south, I decided to use writing as a tool to express myself creatively. Thus far it has proven somewhat successful. How do I know? Well, you're reading this aren't you?

Where did you come up with NickelPlatedBama?

I have spent so much of my valuable time force-feeding the readers of this blog my personal musical preferences (Read: mid-'90's new york hip hop, ign'ant pimp shit, '90's bay area movement, etc.) and blasting all these idiots that set themselves up for utter failure everytime they open their mouth, or press record on the video camera over the last few months, that I forgot to ever place the credit where the credit was due. Nickel Plated Bama is a reference to a line in a song from the 808 King himself (No not you Kanye). I'm talking about The RZA. a.k.a. Bobby Digital. a.k.a. Bobby Boulders. a.k.a. The Abbot. a.k.a. The head of the Wu-Tang dynasty. When I came up with the idea to start writing a blog, I wanted to name it something that most people wouldn't understand right out of the gate, creating a buzz as a result of the inherent curiousity of the average internet lurker. The result was a line from a Bobby Digital album where RZA says "my head is a like a Nickel Plated Bamma". I guess I should just go ahead and spell it out for you. Instead of using an obvious title such as "The Smoking Gun" (besides, it was already taken) for a blog name, I decided to get creative. So, with this blog title, I pay homage to one of my favorite, not only rappers, but creator of things, and still stay sharper than a sword with the usage of metaphor in describing the gun (my keyboard) i use to roast those i deem indesirable.

See above question titled "What is a Nickel Plated Bama".

Why?

Why not is a better question. I hate alot of shit. I want people to know that I hate aforementioned "shit". This was covered in the above section titled "Who writes Nickel Plated Bama".

How do you pronounce the "BAMA"?

It recently came to my attention while I was in the streets passing out stickers and shamelessly promoting this blog that alot of people were mispronouncing the "BAMA". I will make it very easy for you all.

Think Alabama. Don't think Obama. Are we clear now? I really hope so.

Disclaimer:

While most opinions on this site are based in fact, they are merely that, opinions. If you take this shit seriously OR anything that Oliver Wrist has to say personally, than it was definitely directed at you. If you are easily offended, read on, YOU are the target audience. And ladies, Oliver Wrist is the Asshole your mother warned you about. Oliver Wrist is extremely self absorbed and could not care less if your feelings get hurt. If you disagree with anything Oliver Wrist has to say, please make it public, so that Oliver Wrist may be able to roast you publicly.

Sincerely,

The Management

Nickelplatedbama 2008-2009