Myspace Of The Day:

I think its pretty well known that I am a serious pervert. So with that in mind please don't read to deep into why i was there, just know that I was.

I was shamelessly adding famous people to my myspace friends list today when it hit me... Who has more time to spend surfing blogs then perverted middle age men? And where is the best source to find these perverted middle aged men on myspace?? YES!! You guessed it, on young porn star's myspace pages.

So I'm checkin out Bree Olson's myspace (who is extra bad by the way):



and I scroll down to the comments section of her page. Not sure why, but I always, always read comments on peoples myspace pages. The nature of curiousity i suppose.

Anyways, I see this quote right here (taken directly, no changes made):

"Bree Olson
Thanks for adding me and you tail you a lote that you very sexy eyes i wish i wake up them every morning..love you thanks for adding me..
John"

At first I assumed that John was middle-eastern or chinese, or at least mildly retarded, so i went ahead and investigated a little further...

CLICK HERE TO MEET JOHN

As of right now, John has not accepted my friend request so I havent had a chance to see any other photos beside his default. But from the looks of that haircut and those ultra thick coke bottle rims, I assume homie is heavily disturbed.

It just goes to show why myspace is so much better than facebook. There is no elitism on myspace. Anyone can be friends with anyone. And that my loyal subjects (all 8 of you) is something I can get behind (no homo). Keep fighting the good fight Tom. And to you Mark Zuckerberg, don't think because you gave me back my friend requesting priviledges that you are off the list. You are still getting slapped on site.

And because the backshot is now required by NPB law:



Enjoy perverts. Incidentally, if you are anything like most people, you are probably wondering what this PYT (pretty young thang) is workin with in the sack. CLICK HERE for a sneak peek. And yes, that is the first time in the history of the BAMA that I linked to a known porn site. Things are really lookin up.

-Ollie

Facebook = Wack.

I recently got on the facebook bandwagon and was doin my thug thizzel reconnecting with old homies, tryna get my network on, blah blah etc. I sent out requests to a bunch of random folks (you know, tryin to network) and facebook decided to cut me off from being able to add friends. FUCKING RETARDED. Here I am,. shamelessly (self) promoting this blog to create a broader fan base, and these dorks from facebook think they can just give me the axe? yeah I said dorks, and yeah I see you Mark Zuckerberg...



And unfortunately for you, you just made the list of bitch ass muhfuckas that will get slapped on site. Currently it is only you and Norv Turner, but don't worry plenty of other folks will be joining very soon.

**Side Note** Joe Rogan is on the list, but he won't be getting bitch slapped cause there's a pretty good chance he will roll me up with the quickness.***

I'd like to give an extra large shout out to Tom from myspace for keepin shit ultra gutter. I mean, this cat (Tom) lets prostitutes pick up johns on his site. He allows Tila Tequilla to have over a million friends. I need to do that shit, for real. I'm going to send out 100,000 friend requests in the next 6 months (I did the math, that is approx. 555 requests per day, every day for the next 180 days). I figure if I can have 100,000 myspace friends, and each of them visits the site twice a day, hell, I might even be able to turn a profit from this godforesaken blog I've created.

Yep! Doin it bigger than big in '09.

And in case you missed it, Fuck Mark Zuckerberg, cause all I really wanted to do was shoot an add request to the next American Idol Casey Carlson.

Oh, you don't know about Casey, well, she isn't the standard NPB type'a chick (read: thick in the hips and backyard) but she has a super cute face and she's talented. Did I ever mention that talent adds a minimum of 1.5 points to a chick instantly? It's similar to throwin D's on a bitch, which automatically bumps her 2 full points on the rating scale.

Lets review... basic chick, say she is a 3, she goes out and gets dubs thrown on the chest piece, and she can sang?? She becomes a 6.5. Got it?? Good. Back to Casey Carlson...



And the backshot (it's standard here)...



See what I mean. Typical white tail piece. I ain't mad though, she's a solid 8 without dubs or backs. Go get 'em girl. If you want to see more go ahead and CLICK HERE.

As if I needed another reason to watch American Idol. This is seriously becoming a problem.

-Ollie enamored

Things that kill me: revisited

I dont feel like this post got enough love when i posted it back in November, so, Im gonna repost it now. Why am I on such a hatrid mission today? I dont know. I must'a slept wrong or somethin.

This is going to be an ongoing rant/list of things/people that piss me off. I'll just start and keep going. I will include pictures when needed.


1. Joe Rogan.



2. Matching 6 colors on your shirt to 6 colors on your shoes and 6 colors on your hat (you know who you are).



3. The fact that they have made every comic book/cartoon into a movie except for the ones i care about. i.e. Thundercats and G.I. Joe. Seriously.



4. People who make one blog post a day and get 1,000 comments, but I work extra hard to drop (on average) 4 posts a day and only get 1 fuckin’ comment.

5. On the subject of bloggers, I hate that these fakers are getting’ paid.

6. People who make money doing what I do.

7. Kanye West thinkin’ he can sang. Hell Kanye West in general circa 2008 and his awful sunglass collection.



8. All white air force ones costing 85 bones.



9. Fat chicks with tongue rings.



10. K-swiss sneakers (especially in the all white variety).

11. Every person having their own clothing line. I just want to print shirts for advertisement.

12. 250 styles of L.A. Dodgers/Atlanta Braves New Eras and 6 styles of Chicago Cubs.

13. People who owe me money and don’t pay up.

14. Awful colorways of my favorite shoe styles.



15. Waking up at 6:30 on a Saturday.

16. People that throw snowballs.

17. Girls with no ass tryin’ to poke it out.

18. Girls that think coke skinny is sexy.



19. Falling down when im drunk and tearing my ACL.

20. 8 dollar beers.

21. Everyone on Earth owning at least 5 “tapout” shirts.



22. Any clothing company that still incorporates skulls into their designs.



23. Brass Knuckles as a staple of “streetwear” culture.

24. Streetwear being a culture.

25. Tattooed sleeves as a status symbol.

26. Spiked hair.

27. Having to shave.

28. People with 10,000+ friends on myspace.

29. People who think facebook is better than myspace, I cant even figure out how to use facebook.

30. Norv Turner. In fact, the entire San Diego Chargers management. BRING BACK MARTY!!!



31. Body odor. Worse than that the people who don’t realize they smell.

32. Jealousy.

33. Not being able to drink caffeine.



34. Anxiety. Social or other.

35. My chick never being on time.

36. People that smoke cigarettes to be part of the crowd.

37. Girls that wear spandex pants with ultra short dresses, that shit looks awful.

38. Paying for water.



39. People who tell me what I should write about on MY blog without solicitation.

40. Having to work.

41. People who are content with being worthless.

42. Ringtone rap.


(If you dont recognize these maggots they are the shop boyz and are responsible for that god awful joint "party like a rockstar" and are actually perpetrating approx 6 of the things on this list.)

43. People who don’t allow embedding of youtube videos.

44. Perez Hilton.

45. Faux Hawks.

46. Skinny jeans.

47. Flannel makin’ a comeback. That shit is for lumberjacks and pajamas. Period.



48. Akon.



49. T-Pain.

50. Joe Biden.



51. Bitches with 8 kids receiving welfare. Get a job and get fixed you dumb hoe!

52. Soulja Boy.



53. 1 in every 10 people being a rapper and thinking that is a viable source of income.

54. Britney Spears letting herself go. She basically started the thick white chick movement.



55. Fat girls that wear belly shirts.



56. Dumb ass loud bitches tryin to fight dudes.

57. My brother thinkin’ that he owns my turntables.

58. Not being able to slap bitches that deserve it.

59. Chicks that look dead.



60. People that post more than 2 bulletins a day on myspace.

61. Silver spoon little maggots who have never had to work a day in their life and drive around in BMW’s and own the entire LRG fall line, FUCK YOU.

62. Mac Dre fans circa 2006. You weren’t knockin’ that shit in ’98 don’t act like your up on game now.

63. The shit that gets accepted as art these days. My 4 year old nephew could paint that.



64. People who wear sunglasses at night.

65. Extra long “nightgown” white t’s.



66. Dirty white kicks.

67. Pregnant bitches thinking its cute to walk around in a bikini top.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

68. Being perpetually sick from the first of December til the middle of March.

69. Waiting in any sort of line for any amount of time for any particular service.

70. 30 degree weather.

Things that kill me

This is going to be an ongoing rant/list of things/people that piss me off. I'll just start and keep going. I will include pictures when needed.


1. Joe Rogan.



2. Matching 6 colors on your shirt to 6 colors on your shoes and 6 colors on your hat (you know who you are).



3. The fact that they have made every comic book/cartoon into a movie except for the ones i care about. i.e. Thundercats and G.I. Joe. Seriously.



4. People who make one blog post a day and get 1,000 comments, but I work extra hard to drop (on average) 4 posts a day and only get 1 fuckin’ comment.

5. On the subject of bloggers, I hate that these fakers are getting’ paid.

6. People who make money doing what I do.

7. Kanye West thinkin’ he can sang. Hell Kanye West in general circa 2008 and his awful sunglass collection.



8. All white air force ones costing 85 bones.



9. Fat chicks with tongue rings.



10. K-swiss sneakers (especially in the all white variety).

11. Every person having their own clothing line. I just want to print shirts for advertisement.

12. 250 styles of L.A. Dodgers/Atlanta Braves New Eras and 6 styles of Chicago Cubs.

13. People who owe me money and don’t pay up.

14. Awful colorways of my favorite shoe styles.



15. Waking up at 6:30 on a Saturday.

16. People that throw snowballs.

17. Girls with no ass tryin’ to poke it out.

18. Girls that think coke skinny is sexy.



19. Falling down when im drunk and tearing my ACL.

20. 8 dollar beers.

21. Everyone on Earth owning at least 5 “tapout” shirts.



22. Any clothing company that still incorporates skulls into their designs.



23. Brass Knuckles as a staple of “streetwear” culture.

24. Streetwear being a culture.

25. Tattooed sleeves as a status symbol.

26. Spiked hair.

27. Having to shave.

28. People with 10,000+ friends on myspace.

29. People who think facebook is better than myspace, I cant even figure out how to use facebook.

30. Norv Turner. In fact, the entire San Diego Chargers management. BRING BACK MARTY!!!



31. Body odor. Worse than that the people who don’t realize they smell.

32. Jealousy.

33. Not being able to drink caffeine.



34. Anxiety. Social or other.

35. My chick never being on time.

36. People that smoke cigarettes to be part of the crowd.

37. Girls that wear spandex pants with ultra short dresses, that shit looks awful.

38. Paying for water.



39. People who tell me what I should write about on MY blog without solicitation.

40. Having to work.

41. People who are content with being worthless.

42. Ringtone rap.


(If you dont recognize these maggots they are the shop boyz and are responsible for that god awful joint "party like a rockstar" and are actually perpetrating approx 6 of the things on this list.)

43. People who don’t allow embedding of youtube videos.

44. Perez Hilton.

45. Faux Hawks.

46. Skinny jeans.

47. Flannel makin’ a comeback. That shit is for lumberjacks and pajamas. Period.



48. Akon.



49. T-Pain.

50. Joe Biden.



51. Bitches with 8 kids receiving welfare. Get a job and get fixed you dumb hoe!

52. Soulja Boy.



53. 1 in every 10 people being a rapper and thinking that is a viable source of income.

54. Britney Spears letting herself go. She basically started the thick white chick movement.



55. Fat girls that wear belly shirts.



56. Dumb ass loud bitches tryin to fight dudes.

57. My brother thinkin’ that he owns my turntables.

58. Not being able to slap bitches that deserve it.

59. Chicks that look dead.



60. People that post more than 2 bulletins a day on myspace.

61. Silver spoon little maggots who have never had to work a day in their life and drive around in BMW’s and own the entire LRG fall line, FUCK YOU.

62. Mac Dre fans circa 2006. You weren’t knockin’ that shit in ’98 don’t act like your up on game now.

63. The shit that gets accepted as art these days. My 4 year old nephew could paint that.



64. People who wear sunglasses at night.

65. Extra long “nightgown” white t’s.



66. Dirty white kicks.

67. Pregnant bitches thinking its cute to walk around in a bikini top.

This is just a start, i will be adding more as they come to me.

Is there anything that just drives you fuckin bananas?? Hit up the comment board and tell ol' Ollie about it.

-Ollie's off that haterade today!