NICKELPLATEDBAMA: Don't Even Be Lookin' At My Girl: Cassie Gets Naked

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Don't Even Be Lookin' At My Girl: Cassie Gets Naked

Do I have your attention now? Yes, that Cassie. The same one that Mr. Diddy himself was cuttin' up on the side, the same one who was responsible for creating one of the most hated songs of my entire life:

Can't even try to hate on those dance moves though, damn shorty knows what she's doin' with those hips. I feel like Hawk from the Legion of Doom right now...

"ohhhhhhhh What a Rush..."

Suffice it to say, I have had WAY MORE than a crush on this young bitty for quite some time now. That is, until she pulled this awful stunt:

What the fuck were you thinkin' homegirl? You literally were one hit away from "top 5 in the game" and you go and pull a stunt like that.

And just when I think you can make anything any worse for yourself, you go and pull a stunt like this...

...and totally redeem yourself!!!!

The NSFW (yes, full on hacked computer pics, titties fully on blast) joints can be found right Here and Here.

Cassie took to her Twitter page this morning to address the situation. And I quote:

"IT SEEMS THAT SOMEONE HAS HACKED INTO MY COMPUTER...THAT'S REAL FOUL AND EVIL. NOW STOP ACTING LIKE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN A TITTY BEFORE."about 9 hours ago from web

Nice job Cass. You really played it off, as if you weren't the one who leaked these photos to begin with. I am literally on the edge of my seat just waiting for the sex tape.

Normally, I don't watch the sex tapes of celebrities (yeah fuckin' right) but in this case I will not only make an exception, I will pay for it.

That's right, I will actually pay money for the sex tape rather than just jackin' it (pun completely intended and used well I might add) from the web.

Thank you Cassie. I will act like any man who has ever "seen a titty before" and continue to stare at these joints for the rest of the day.

You know what they say... "If you've seen one titty, you want to see 'em all".

Church.

Shout to Tyler Durden for the scoop.

Today is going to be a great day.

-Ollie the Provider

---------------------UPDATE-------------------------------------------

I just recieved this email, and I quote:

"I am writing from Bad Boy Entertainment in regards to the photos of Cassie that you posted on your web site at:

http://nickelplatedbama.blogspot.com/2009/05/dont-even-be-lookin-at-my-girl-cassie.html

These photos are the property of Bad Boy Entertainment/Cassie and need to be removed immediately to prevent legal action. Please confirm with me when they have been taken down. Thank you for your cooperation.
Bad Boy Entertainment | Digital Marketing
Email:"

My response, and I quote:

"I posted links to photos. Other photos of Cassie were found via google image searches."

****So BAMA nation, do I take the links down or fight the power?***

-Uncle Ollie

1 comment:

Anonymous said...: Wow, you're a wanted man. I should post those links on my blog.; May 7, 2009 at 7:50 PM

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If this is your first time stopping by NickelPlatedBama, I would suggest getting a feel for the blog by going through the archives. There have been too many classic posts to count. If you disagree with an opinion here on the site, make it public. The writer of this blog suffers from a rare condition that allows him to feel absolutely zero remorse when attacking a person's character or, in most cases, lack there of. Please feel free to enjoy, hate, participate, tell a friend to tell 2 friends, but always, ALWAYS stop back here again tomorrow, as you never know what this looney bastard might say next...

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Nickel Plated Bama: Who? What? When? Where? Why? and How?

Who writes NickelPlatedBama?

Oliver Wrist writes, edits, designs, takes photos, and publishes NickelPlatedBama personally Monday-Friday. Oliver Wrist is an alter ego that I created as a means of getting things off of my chest. Ollie is irrational and flagrant. Once boos are introduced, the hillarity ensues. Rather than feel bad, Oliver chooses to embrace his lunacy and use his shamelessness for a greater good. Oliver's travels and opinions are documented on an almost daily basis. I say almost daily because I don't work on weekends.

What is NickelPlatedBama? What is A Nickel Plated Bama?

Nickelplatedbama is a face-melting social commentary blog written from the perspective of a self absorbed asshole with no shame or morals to speak of. If you're into hip hop music, silky smooth breezys, absurdly opinionated witty banter and reading the rants of an anti-social, overly confident, self absorbed "writer" (for lack of a better word) please continue. NickelPlatedBama is a source for venting and bashing, hating and thrashing, shitting and blasting on everything from bad food to bad music and everything in between. I don't hate everything however. NickelPlatedBama and more importantly Oliver Wrist praise iconic figures such as the ever elusive white girl thickness, mid-'90's hip hop, fashion, graffiti, art, ice cold behavior, celebreality t.v., Chicago Cubs baseball, San Diego Chargers football, College Basketball, Early '90's WWF wrestling, laughing at other peoples misfortunes, and generally acting like a complete type-a sociopath.

Nickel Plated Bama is extra gutter street slang for a nickel (the precious metal) plated hand cannon. You know, a burner, a strap, a gat, a tre pound, a whistle, or for the uninitiated a gun.

When did NickelPlatedBama get started?

Oliver Wrist has been the other half of my split personality for years. It originally started as my DJ'ing name. My career as a DJ lasted only about as long as it took me to write this BIO. As it turns out, I am an awful DJ. Not because I play bad records, but because I butcher the scratches. My brother, Young Smalls, a.k.a. DJ Fuzzy Badfeet, has taken over the reigns and is now my own personal DJ. Although Smalls refuses to accept the things I have taught him since birth as doctrine, he still gets the Oliver Wrist stamp of approval as a purveyor of all things mixed well. He uses my turntables, my mixer, and my records to do his thug-thizzle, but he is a much better DJ than I could ever be, so I just give him enough shit to remain enthusiastic. Being that my foray into the DJ world went south, I decided to use writing as a tool to express myself creatively. Thus far it has proven somewhat successful. How do I know? Well, you're reading this aren't you?

Where did you come up with NickelPlatedBama?

I have spent so much of my valuable time force-feeding the readers of this blog my personal musical preferences (Read: mid-'90's new york hip hop, ign'ant pimp shit, '90's bay area movement, etc.) and blasting all these idiots that set themselves up for utter failure everytime they open their mouth, or press record on the video camera over the last few months, that I forgot to ever place the credit where the credit was due. Nickel Plated Bama is a reference to a line in a song from the 808 King himself (No not you Kanye). I'm talking about The RZA. a.k.a. Bobby Digital. a.k.a. Bobby Boulders. a.k.a. The Abbot. a.k.a. The head of the Wu-Tang dynasty. When I came up with the idea to start writing a blog, I wanted to name it something that most people wouldn't understand right out of the gate, creating a buzz as a result of the inherent curiousity of the average internet lurker. The result was a line from a Bobby Digital album where RZA says "my head is a like a Nickel Plated Bamma". I guess I should just go ahead and spell it out for you. Instead of using an obvious title such as "The Smoking Gun" (besides, it was already taken) for a blog name, I decided to get creative. So, with this blog title, I pay homage to one of my favorite, not only rappers, but creator of things, and still stay sharper than a sword with the usage of metaphor in describing the gun (my keyboard) i use to roast those i deem indesirable.

See above question titled "What is a Nickel Plated Bama".

Why?

Why not is a better question. I hate alot of shit. I want people to know that I hate aforementioned "shit". This was covered in the above section titled "Who writes Nickel Plated Bama".

How do you pronounce the "BAMA"?

It recently came to my attention while I was in the streets passing out stickers and shamelessly promoting this blog that alot of people were mispronouncing the "BAMA". I will make it very easy for you all.

Think Alabama. Don't think Obama. Are we clear now? I really hope so.

Disclaimer:

While most opinions on this site are based in fact, they are merely that, opinions. If you take this shit seriously OR anything that Oliver Wrist has to say personally, than it was definitely directed at you. If you are easily offended, read on, YOU are the target audience. And ladies, Oliver Wrist is the Asshole your mother warned you about. Oliver Wrist is extremely self absorbed and could not care less if your feelings get hurt. If you disagree with anything Oliver Wrist has to say, please make it public, so that Oliver Wrist may be able to roast you publicly.

Sincerely,

The Management

Nickelplatedbama 2008-2009

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Don't Even Be Lookin' At My Girl: Cassie Gets Naked

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