Monday, April 20, 2009

Vodka Soaked Tampons: WTF

Ok, so the story goes like this...

TBC (the ball and chain for the new readers) comes home raving about this wild ass story her boss was telling her about over hearing these kids out in the desert shoving vodka soaked tampons up there yams and backs.

I couldn't fuckin' believe it.

Apparently this shit is big in the streets. I had to do a little research and, well, just watch...



Yes. This is real. This is a legitimate phenomenon taking place right here in our country. Young girls have taken to shoving vodka soaked tampons in their most sacred of places to catch a buzz.

Rumor has it, these kids are ingesting booze via their twats and assholes to be able to pass breathalyzers. HAHAHA.

It's these same mouth breathing morons that came up with these ideas of shoving beer bongs in their assholes, and booze drenched tampons in their 'ginas, that would think it would keep them out of hand cuffs when taking a breathalyzer test. As most normal functioning people that have ever had to take a breathalizer would know; breathalyzers don't measure the amount of alcohol on your breath. Rather, they approximate the amount of alcohol flowing through your blood that is passed through the lungs and expelled IN your breath.

For more info, Click Here To Find Out How Stuff Works.

More importantly, I want to address the fact that DUDES ARE STRAIGHT STICKING BEER BONG TUBES UP THERE ASSHOLES. Are you kidding me? Who/What/Where/When/Why/How the fuck was this decision made?

Where was the straight man in this decision making process?

Dude, I can't play along with this anymore. This has got to end. RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

-Ollie

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