Monday, February 9, 2009

2009 Grammy Review: RANT!

This just in, the grammy's fuckin suck. I could care less about which media darling takes home any award from any genre of music.

That said, I didn't watch the grammys. Call me crazy, but I recently acquired the first 3 seasons of LOST and I am flat out hooked. The shit is like crack, no games, no jokes.

There will be no pictures in this post.

Some things I guess are worth mentioning:

- Lil Wayne wins 3 grammy's this year (he had 8 nominations?).

- Kanye wins one grammy as a guest feature on that hideous "American Boy" joint.

- Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin) comes back from the dead (Mickey Rourke style) and cleans house. The guy did a duet with the queen of duets herself (Alison Kraus, whose voice I enjoy, but only when it is paired with a make counterpart) and together they won like 6 grammy's or something. Outrageous.

- Coldplay still sucks and is the most over-rated musical group since Blink-182.

- Blink-182 is back together?? Who the fuck cares?

- Al Green (the last surviving ultra smoove player from his era) showed up and let Mr. Funky white boy himself, Justin Timberlake get on a track with him.


Chris Brown and Rihanna didn't show up to the grammy's because word on the street is that:

Chris Brown slapped the shit of out Princess Rihanna!


That is the best headline I've read in months.

In general, I am a fan of pimp-like behavior, and while 80% of the time I do not condone slappin these hoes, if there is any one bitch on this planet that needed a reality check, it was, you guessed it, Rihanna.

Straight the fuck up. Homegirl has been gettin out of pocket for months gettin wreckless tryna run Breezy's life.

Lets get this straight right now, I am not a fan of Chris Brown. AT ALL. But, the boy showed me somethin over the weekend when he decided that he has had enough of Rihanna playin that superstar role, frontin like her shit don't stink.

This sounds wrong, and the 2 female readers of this blog are prolly gonna get extra pissed, but sometimes a dumb female needs to be taken down a peg, and that is exactly what Mr. Brown did for Rihanna.

Yes I said "did FOR her". You already know what is going to come from this. The power couple are going to get more publicity (like they really need it), Rihanna is going to fall even harder for Chris Brown, who, in turn, will start really goin Ike Turner, lyin, cheatin, sneakin, and beatin all on the lows.

The female support for Rihanna will result in increased album sales, while the once pussified Chris Brown now all of a sudden has street cred.

Gentlemen, take my advice, if your hoe's gettin out of pocket, check her. That doesn't neccessarily mean you gotta hit the bitch niether. In fact, you can put a chick in her place by simply givin her a time out...

It works on children, why not the grown up version of a child, a.k.a. Females?

I'm just sayin...

Oh, and I heard the performances were mediocre at best. All the more reason I am glad that I didn't care enough to even set the DVR.

Get it right for 2009, prediction from Ollie...

Chris Brown/Rihanna blow up even bigger than before...

-Oliver Wrist

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