Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Now That's A Big Bitch!

Fucking white people!

This shit is pure comedy. First of all, did you notice that this cat-ass D-bag is the only white dude in the spot?

Contestant #1: girl did a little work. whatever. I give her a 4 for looks and shear size, and a 4 for the work, for a total of 8 out of a possible 20. She gets a 5 point bonus for taking those ridiculously aggressive pelvic thrusts from your boy though. LMAO at dude pumpin hard with his hands behind his back. Look at ol' girl's eyes at the :26-:28 second mark. HAHA.


Contestant #2: Silky smooth stomach piece? Check. Wild ass hair piece ala natural from love of Ray J? Check. Grindin so hard on homie that he turns into the incredible hulk? LOL check. Seriously, peep homie's roid rage start at the :39 second mark and culminate into pure HULKAMANIA at :46 seconds. OHMYJAH!! Back to shawty, she gets a 6 for looks (the body is right, but that grill is snaggled), and she gets a SOLID 8 for the work, for a grand total of 14 out of a possible 20.


Contestant #3: Thick, but on the verge of obesity. She could still get it, but give her a week's worth of big mac's and it's a wrap. So far she had the prettiest face, the thighs look on swoll, but I'm disappointed in the fact that she is hiding those J's rather than displaying 'em. The work she's doin is weak sauce. I give her a 6 for looks and a 4 for the work. 10 out of 20.


Contestant #4: OH HELL NAH. The look on dude's face tells the whole story. Homegirl gets an automatic 5 bonus points for having the nerve to step to the stage in a booty shakin' contest. I give her a 2 in the looks department (I've definitely seen worse) and a 4 for the work. She was tryin but dude kept runnin' away.

The final verdict? Contestant #2 takes it down, but of course I'm biased to a smooth stomach and hip game. If #3 would have let the J's breathe a little she would have walked away with the win. Stupid girls and their need to cover up their titties.

Props to my white brethren for lookin like Dane Cook's retarted stunt double but hangin tough when Andre The Giant stepped to him (twice). HAHA.


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