NICKELPLATEDBAMA: Valentine's Day: Why?

Friday, February 13, 2009

Valentine's Day: Why?

Being the ice-cold, self-absorbed sonofabitch that I am, it would be reasonable to assume that I am not a fan of this made-up ass holiday.

I don't hate it for the same reasons that most of the bloggers out there do. What reason is that?

They are fucking dorks with no social or romantic life to speak of. Of course they hate the day "for lovers".

I hate it because I have to do something I wouldn't normally do, i.e. be greatful for having a chick and do nice shit for TBC all day.

HAHA, no I'm kidding. TBC knows where she stands with me (10 feet behind me at all times).

This is the day that dudes dread. I mean, if you have a chick and have had her crowned for a while then you're already beatin the skins, and you have gotten comfortable enough with your girl that you don't feel you should have to "do something amazing" in order to keep her locked up. WRONG.

If your chick tells you "it's not a big deal" you are FUCKED.

Heart shaped pizza, a little cut-up, and some LOST sounds great to me. BUT NO, I have to make dinner reservations, then I have to get a card expressing romantic sentiment, then there's the chocolate, and the flowers, and all that other horse shit.

Aren't we in a recession?

Be happy with what you get. AND THAT GOES OUT TO ALL THE FEMALES IN THE WORLD.

TBC, my little peach, always remember:

(For the record, thats not my nutbag...)

Fuck this holiday. I am starting a petition for "National Guy's Day Off". More on that mission later.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA; February 13, 2009 at 1:07 PM
Anonymous said...: I too agree. I don't think its only guys who dislike this holiday...I too hate it, and find it pointless. Why should the man I love only do nice things for me, and I for him once a year? I would rather have a romantic night in or out, any other day than valentines day. This is a day we are told to do nice things, thus they mean nothing! So, i join your mission, but wanted to make the point girls will and should join too.
point: Do something nice because you want to not because you are told to..it means a lot more that way;)

~AZ; February 15, 2009 at 7:28 PM
Anonymous said...: Valentine's Day is just a day for single people to feel more shitty about themselves and for couples to be disappointed that their significant other didn't plan and/or purchase exactly what they wanted. And just out of curiosity, what the hell do you get for your man what's not frilly and pink and gay? I have NEVER had a good V-Day (single or in a relationship). Fuck it. Next year I'm protesting.; February 17, 2009 at 9:34 AM

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What is NickelPlatedBama? What is A Nickel Plated Bama?

Nickelplatedbama is a face-melting social commentary blog written from the perspective of a self absorbed asshole with no shame or morals to speak of. If you're into hip hop music, silky smooth breezys, absurdly opinionated witty banter and reading the rants of an anti-social, overly confident, self absorbed "writer" (for lack of a better word) please continue. NickelPlatedBama is a source for venting and bashing, hating and thrashing, shitting and blasting on everything from bad food to bad music and everything in between. I don't hate everything however. NickelPlatedBama and more importantly Oliver Wrist praise iconic figures such as the ever elusive white girl thickness, mid-'90's hip hop, fashion, graffiti, art, ice cold behavior, celebreality t.v., Chicago Cubs baseball, San Diego Chargers football, College Basketball, Early '90's WWF wrestling, laughing at other peoples misfortunes, and generally acting like a complete type-a sociopath.

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When did NickelPlatedBama get started?

Oliver Wrist has been the other half of my split personality for years. It originally started as my DJ'ing name. My career as a DJ lasted only about as long as it took me to write this BIO. As it turns out, I am an awful DJ. Not because I play bad records, but because I butcher the scratches. My brother, Young Smalls, a.k.a. DJ Fuzzy Badfeet, has taken over the reigns and is now my own personal DJ. Although Smalls refuses to accept the things I have taught him since birth as doctrine, he still gets the Oliver Wrist stamp of approval as a purveyor of all things mixed well. He uses my turntables, my mixer, and my records to do his thug-thizzle, but he is a much better DJ than I could ever be, so I just give him enough shit to remain enthusiastic. Being that my foray into the DJ world went south, I decided to use writing as a tool to express myself creatively. Thus far it has proven somewhat successful. How do I know? Well, you're reading this aren't you?

Where did you come up with NickelPlatedBama?

I have spent so much of my valuable time force-feeding the readers of this blog my personal musical preferences (Read: mid-'90's new york hip hop, ign'ant pimp shit, '90's bay area movement, etc.) and blasting all these idiots that set themselves up for utter failure everytime they open their mouth, or press record on the video camera over the last few months, that I forgot to ever place the credit where the credit was due. Nickel Plated Bama is a reference to a line in a song from the 808 King himself (No not you Kanye). I'm talking about The RZA. a.k.a. Bobby Digital. a.k.a. Bobby Boulders. a.k.a. The Abbot. a.k.a. The head of the Wu-Tang dynasty. When I came up with the idea to start writing a blog, I wanted to name it something that most people wouldn't understand right out of the gate, creating a buzz as a result of the inherent curiousity of the average internet lurker. The result was a line from a Bobby Digital album where RZA says "my head is a like a Nickel Plated Bamma". I guess I should just go ahead and spell it out for you. Instead of using an obvious title such as "The Smoking Gun" (besides, it was already taken) for a blog name, I decided to get creative. So, with this blog title, I pay homage to one of my favorite, not only rappers, but creator of things, and still stay sharper than a sword with the usage of metaphor in describing the gun (my keyboard) i use to roast those i deem indesirable.

See above question titled "What is a Nickel Plated Bama".

Why?

Why not is a better question. I hate alot of shit. I want people to know that I hate aforementioned "shit". This was covered in the above section titled "Who writes Nickel Plated Bama".

How do you pronounce the "BAMA"?

It recently came to my attention while I was in the streets passing out stickers and shamelessly promoting this blog that alot of people were mispronouncing the "BAMA". I will make it very easy for you all.

Think Alabama. Don't think Obama. Are we clear now? I really hope so.

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While most opinions on this site are based in fact, they are merely that, opinions. If you take this shit seriously OR anything that Oliver Wrist has to say personally, than it was definitely directed at you. If you are easily offended, read on, YOU are the target audience. And ladies, Oliver Wrist is the Asshole your mother warned you about. Oliver Wrist is extremely self absorbed and could not care less if your feelings get hurt. If you disagree with anything Oliver Wrist has to say, please make it public, so that Oliver Wrist may be able to roast you publicly.

Sincerely,

The Management

Nickelplatedbama 2008-2009

Friday, February 13, 2009

Valentine's Day: Why?

3 comments:

First Time Here?

Nickel Plated Bama: Who? What? When? Where? Why? and How?

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