Monday, October 20, 2008

faux hawkin: naddagoodlook pt. 2

"im puttin you on notice bitch" - Willie Dynamite

sorry, im in a 1970's ice cold pimp typa mood, since ive been watchin those old dolemite clips for the last hour straight and gigglin my ass off. Willie Dynamite was another great character from the blaxploitation films of the Dolemite era.

Movin on, i told ya'll last friday that i wasnt going to let you perpetrators of bad fashion get away with this shit without getting blasted so next up in line is this god awful faux hawk craze. THIS SHIT HAS GOT TO GO!!!

Exhibit A: the is that a guy/girl??


cmon now folks... what is going on here?? STRAIGHT UP, if this fool didnt have sideburns and an adams apple (which are only noticeable from the profile view) i couldnt tell if this was a dude or a chick, either way the look is hideous. Its only slightly worse because of the cut of that shirt your boy is rockin.. oh my, just Terrible dude.

Exhibit B: the banny rooster


you know what a banny rooster is right?? well let ollie learn ya. the banny rooster is the hella bitchassed fightin rooster, the one that struts around with his chest poked out like hes really gonna hand out some ass whoopins than gets tossed up quicker than an asthmatics heartrate on crack..
Can you see why this turd is the banny rooster?? aside from the fact that his doo is dyed red, hes doin the james dean look away from the camera while smokin hella cat ass pose (see: cat is a derogatory term used to describe a homosexual typa fella).. note the trend were seeing here with the extremely low cut/unbuttoned exposed neckline. EHHHNT.

Exhibit C: the earmuff


This chick, although extremely pasty, is reasonably cute minus this obvious misuse of scissors on her dome piece.

Exhibit D: the Braux Hawk


This kinda looks like a mugshot, and if it is, you can tell homie is really rethinkin that hairstyle if hes gettin shipped up north!


One more for good measure because i made up the term "braux hawk" (at least as far as im concerned and i really think its high quality, so much so that i go out of my way to explain it to you yuppies). This look here, its just terrible..

Did you also notice how not one of these cat ass muhfuckas is smiling?? know why?? cause the hairstyle goes hand & hand with the "emo" way of life. Yeah, being depressed constantly is now a fashion statement.

Get your shit together folks. If you are a friend of mine and are rockin this awful hair doo and i see it, you will immediately be cut off, no questions asked.

thank you.

And B, if you read this, even though you pissed me off last week, i still wrote this shit for you homeboy. get over it, i am.

-Ollie the hater

No comments: