NICKELPLATEDBAMA: Florida Wins BCS Title Game: The World Stays Mad

Friday, January 9, 2009

Florida Wins BCS Title Game: The World Stays Mad

Florida comes out and hands a firm ass-whoopin' on both sides of the ball to the #1 ranked Oklahoma Sooners, and were still hearin' all this boo-hooin from the rest of the nation about how "their" respective teams should have had a chance in the BCS title game.

I will first address USC. You may damn well be the best team in the nation, but when you take an ass-whoopin like you did against Oregon State (the weaker of the Oregon schools btw) you lose all claim to a title shot. PERIOD. I will say this though, I absolutely LOVE Ray Maulauga for this shit right here...

HAHA. ICE COLD.

Next contestant on "we should have had a shot" is UTAH. OK, Utah goes undefeated and never gets a chance at a BCS title shot. They beat up on Alabama and BYU, but in all seriousness, who else did they beat? TCU was the only other real game they had. Respect is due for what they did, I mean these cats ran the table, but the bottom line is this, they play in the Mountain West Conference. Sorry, that will not get it done. EVER.

Texas had a valid complaint, but honestly I'm not on the Colt McCoy bandwagon so they will get no more shine here.

Now, back to the reason for this post..

Florida Gators are national champions for the 2nd time in 3 years...

Tim Tebow is still the man pullin top notch tail...

Sam Bradford is still young, a sophomore if I'm not mistaken, and he won the heisman. If I'm him, I'm stayin for another year and one more shot at the BCS... I mean, if this guy...

...does what everyone thinks he will do (Read: go to the NFL) then Sam Bradford will actually have a chance to win.

Unfortunately for the rest of the college football world, Tim Tebow is only gonna be better when he, yes this is my prediction, comes back for a senior year and one more national championship.

Lets face it, its hard out there for anyone other than Florida, but at least Oklahoma has some pretty solid tail hangin around campus...

AND at the stadium...

Do yourself a favor Sammy boy (Bradford) get your little swirl on with these triflin' ass hoes while you still can, I'll take a nice little tail piece and a firm chest plate as a consolation prize.

-Young Ollie the BOSS!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...: Colt McCoy not getting any love? Dude has the best name in football not to mention the flyest girl. I know you saw her. They wouldn't quit cutting to her in the crowd. Winning; January 10, 2009 at 8:49 AM
oliver wrist said...: he's skinny. I just can't get behind him right now. The kid is an amazing quarterback, Texas is the real deal, and I just hate him for no real reason. Dont ask me to justify cause I cant. HAHA.; January 10, 2009 at 9:01 AM

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Oliver Wrist writes, edits, designs, takes photos, and publishes NickelPlatedBama personally Monday-Friday. Oliver Wrist is an alter ego that I created as a means of getting things off of my chest. Ollie is irrational and flagrant. Once boos are introduced, the hillarity ensues. Rather than feel bad, Oliver chooses to embrace his lunacy and use his shamelessness for a greater good. Oliver's travels and opinions are documented on an almost daily basis. I say almost daily because I don't work on weekends.

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Nickelplatedbama is a face-melting social commentary blog written from the perspective of a self absorbed asshole with no shame or morals to speak of. If you're into hip hop music, silky smooth breezys, absurdly opinionated witty banter and reading the rants of an anti-social, overly confident, self absorbed "writer" (for lack of a better word) please continue. NickelPlatedBama is a source for venting and bashing, hating and thrashing, shitting and blasting on everything from bad food to bad music and everything in between. I don't hate everything however. NickelPlatedBama and more importantly Oliver Wrist praise iconic figures such as the ever elusive white girl thickness, mid-'90's hip hop, fashion, graffiti, art, ice cold behavior, celebreality t.v., Chicago Cubs baseball, San Diego Chargers football, College Basketball, Early '90's WWF wrestling, laughing at other peoples misfortunes, and generally acting like a complete type-a sociopath.

Nickel Plated Bama is extra gutter street slang for a nickel (the precious metal) plated hand cannon. You know, a burner, a strap, a gat, a tre pound, a whistle, or for the uninitiated a gun.

When did NickelPlatedBama get started?

Oliver Wrist has been the other half of my split personality for years. It originally started as my DJ'ing name. My career as a DJ lasted only about as long as it took me to write this BIO. As it turns out, I am an awful DJ. Not because I play bad records, but because I butcher the scratches. My brother, Young Smalls, a.k.a. DJ Fuzzy Badfeet, has taken over the reigns and is now my own personal DJ. Although Smalls refuses to accept the things I have taught him since birth as doctrine, he still gets the Oliver Wrist stamp of approval as a purveyor of all things mixed well. He uses my turntables, my mixer, and my records to do his thug-thizzle, but he is a much better DJ than I could ever be, so I just give him enough shit to remain enthusiastic. Being that my foray into the DJ world went south, I decided to use writing as a tool to express myself creatively. Thus far it has proven somewhat successful. How do I know? Well, you're reading this aren't you?

Where did you come up with NickelPlatedBama?

I have spent so much of my valuable time force-feeding the readers of this blog my personal musical preferences (Read: mid-'90's new york hip hop, ign'ant pimp shit, '90's bay area movement, etc.) and blasting all these idiots that set themselves up for utter failure everytime they open their mouth, or press record on the video camera over the last few months, that I forgot to ever place the credit where the credit was due. Nickel Plated Bama is a reference to a line in a song from the 808 King himself (No not you Kanye). I'm talking about The RZA. a.k.a. Bobby Digital. a.k.a. Bobby Boulders. a.k.a. The Abbot. a.k.a. The head of the Wu-Tang dynasty. When I came up with the idea to start writing a blog, I wanted to name it something that most people wouldn't understand right out of the gate, creating a buzz as a result of the inherent curiousity of the average internet lurker. The result was a line from a Bobby Digital album where RZA says "my head is a like a Nickel Plated Bamma". I guess I should just go ahead and spell it out for you. Instead of using an obvious title such as "The Smoking Gun" (besides, it was already taken) for a blog name, I decided to get creative. So, with this blog title, I pay homage to one of my favorite, not only rappers, but creator of things, and still stay sharper than a sword with the usage of metaphor in describing the gun (my keyboard) i use to roast those i deem indesirable.

See above question titled "What is a Nickel Plated Bama".

Why?

Why not is a better question. I hate alot of shit. I want people to know that I hate aforementioned "shit". This was covered in the above section titled "Who writes Nickel Plated Bama".

How do you pronounce the "BAMA"?

It recently came to my attention while I was in the streets passing out stickers and shamelessly promoting this blog that alot of people were mispronouncing the "BAMA". I will make it very easy for you all.

Think Alabama. Don't think Obama. Are we clear now? I really hope so.

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While most opinions on this site are based in fact, they are merely that, opinions. If you take this shit seriously OR anything that Oliver Wrist has to say personally, than it was definitely directed at you. If you are easily offended, read on, YOU are the target audience. And ladies, Oliver Wrist is the Asshole your mother warned you about. Oliver Wrist is extremely self absorbed and could not care less if your feelings get hurt. If you disagree with anything Oliver Wrist has to say, please make it public, so that Oliver Wrist may be able to roast you publicly.

Sincerely,

The Management

Nickelplatedbama 2008-2009

Friday, January 9, 2009

Florida Wins BCS Title Game: The World Stays Mad

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