Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Jerk-off in Express Line

So I was at the local Save Mart this afternoon to pick up a little lunch. I'm walking up to the express lane with my bag of chips and soda (2 items), when this fuckin maggot starts speed walking to get in front of me. I think nothing of it, and kindly take my place behind him in line. It was only when he started to empty out his cart that I noticed that not only did this jack-off just cut in front of me, but he was also over the limit of items allowed in the express check out line. Strikes 1 and 2 right there. I counted 19 items. THEN, even though it is written in plain english AND spanish on the fucking register that express line is reserved for Cash or ATM only, this scum-bag has the nerve to pull out his check book. GRRRRRRRRRR. When the young lady at the register let him know that checks werent allowed, he went for the credit card and explained that he didnt have any cash. This is when I lost my shit.

Our conversation went like this:

Ollie - "You have got to be fuckin' kiddin' me",

Scum-bag - "huh?".

Ollie - "you damn near broke your hip speed walkin to cut in front of me, you are over the allowed limit of items, and you are paying by credit card, you don't see a problem here?"

Scum-bag - (Turning away) "Oh sorry bout that..."

Ollie - "You did notice that I only have these 2 items and cash in my hand right?"

Scum-bag - "Yeah, but I'm in a hurry.."

Ollie - "Alot of good rushing did you, now I get to wait for YOU"

Scum-bag - "Can I just have plastic please?"

The confrontation ended there. When I stepped up to pay for my shit, the lady at the register was giggling like a school girl. I asked what was funny and she said "most people wouldn't have said anything, you really made him unconfortable." "Good" I said, and walked out.

When I got outside I look across the parking lot (searchin' for scum-bag) and catch a glimpse of this:

Photobucket

I had to drive around to double check what I was seeing, but yes, all suspicions were confirmed, that is indeed a truck bed welded to the back of a pontiac van with 6 tires. Thats what I call mexican ingenuity or mexicanuity if you will. HAHA.

-Ollie the Confrontationalist

4 comments:

Kristen said...

This infuriates me. Are people really walking around with their heads so far up their asses that they can't see signs and follow simple instructions or is it that they are so inconsiderate and self-centered as to think that the rules don't apply to them?

oliver wrist said...

well, to be honest Kristen, I am guilty of being self-centered and thinking the rules dont apply to me, but that's only fair considering...

T motha fuckin money said...

hahahaha fuckin best story ive heard in awhile. i hate douches like that

kusserow, michael said...

i have always wanted to say something to that asshole thatd put the move on me like that. after hearing that story i now know that theres a three strikes law in everything. once uve crossed the line not twice but three times its a legit reason to blow up on a niggas face. thanks fro the wonderful story and advice ollie.