Thursday, January 8, 2009

Brendan Fraser: How is he still getting roles??

And he's not just getting roles, he's gettin' fuckin' blockbusters (OR what should be blockbusters, but because he's in them they are mediocre at best.)

And while I'm on the subject, why is every single role he's been in for the last 10 years been a fuckin' fantasy film or it's awful sequel??

Lets take a look at his catalog since 1999...

1. 1999 - The Mummy. TRASH! Check this video of his "comedic" timing.


2. Sinbad: Beyond the Veil of Mists. He's a god damn cartoon character.


3. Monkeybone. If anyone saw this bomb (you know i did) you know how fuckin awful this dude is in comedic roles. The last time he was funny was "Encino Man"..


4. The Mummy Returns. The powers that be decided the first adventure wasn't bad enough so they went ahead and made another one of these awful flicks.


5. Looney Tunes: Back in Action. Did he not learn from MJ??


6. Journey to the Center of the Earth. This was one of my favorite books as a kid, but honestly BF ruined it for me.


7. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. Jet Li is a fuckin bad ass but other than that more awful punchlines screamed by none other than Rick O'Connell a.k.a. Brendan Fraser.


8. InkHeart (yet to be released). From IMDB "A young girl discovers her father has an amazing talent to bring characters out of their books and must try to stop a freed villain from destroying them all, with the help of her father, her aunt, and a storybook's hero".


Obviously he's had some roles in between, but you can see where I'm going with this. Why is this guy, "That Guy" when it comes to casting a male lead in the fantasy book remake movies?? He is flat out awful and it seriously makes me want to watch "School Ties" again, you know the movie where he's a jew gettin beat down on the daily by all those tough guy ivy-leaguers?? HAHA. Not, I repeat NOT, for the racism, but strictly to see him gettin to' up.

Moral of the story?? This guy is an awful actor and I cant, for the life of me, figure out why he's still getting BIG roles.

P.S. It's been rumored that this fuck is going to show up in the live action version of G.I. Joe. Great, ruin one of the only things i was looking forward to this year.

-Oliver Wrist


Kristen said...

Encino Man was funny because he wasn't allowed to talk

oliver wrist said...

Well played Kristen. Well Played.