If you missed day one, Scroll down to the post directly below.
Something alot of people don't know about me: I cannot sleep. I wake up early as fuck on Friday morning, take a hand full of vicodin, wash my ass, get dipped, and then wait around for Sam to get out of bed. You see, at any other time I would have just went without him, but I had to have him to get my badge at ASR.
Its pretty overcast outside. (View from our room):
We mob down to ASR. I, for some dumb ass fucking reason have my camera in my backpack and not around my neck and miss a ton of photo ops in route to the show. No big deal though. We check in, get our badges, mash through the convention center and head over to the Hard Rock for a drink.
1 Samuel Adams and 1 Jack 'N Coke. $18 motherfucking dollars. Don't these cats know I'm ballin on a budget? Fuck it, lets go to AGENDA.
Once we get inside AGENDA, this is when the photo snaps, and the ridiculing really began.
ArtsProjekt by Andy Howell. Unfinished panel.
Never got a chance to see the finished product by the way. If anyone has photos of the finished artsprojekt panel, shoot an e-mail to email@example.com
Andy Howell is a legend. To get acquainted with his artwork, stories, and skateboarding history, you should read his book, “Art, Skateboarding, and Life” by Andy Howell. Homie is a BEAST, and he loves Ollie.
Cruised around and snapped some photos of uninspired, blatant commercial rip-offs being passed off as "designs".
Oh, a reference to pac-man. how (un)original.
Is that a Tecate can? Oh, so you just took the beer can and changed the words on it? I hadn't ever seen that before. Could you have used a dirtier screen? That shit is going to wash off the first time it sees the laundry.
Oh, I get it. You Run Shit. But trust me, the cat that was peddling this gear looks more like he runs from shit.
CARDBOARD ROBOT. Ok, so I mentioned it before I left that I had set up a meeting to talk with the cats at Carboard Robot and that Ryan and Rob were super cool with me over e-mail. Wellllll, I showed up to their booth, without ever having seen the gear these cats are peddling, and, well, this is what they were working with...
How (un)inspired. Anyways, so I was supposed to do an interview with Ryan... here's how it went:
Ollie: "Yo, is Ryan or Rob around?"
Fuckin Burn-out hipster: "Who's askin?"
Ollie: "Oliver Wrist, I write NickelPlatedBama"
Fuckin burn-out hipster: "Oh Oliver Wrist, yeah, I saw your e-mail, get the fuck outta here. (chuckles)"
Ollie: (rage in my eyes) "what the fuck?"
Fuckin burn-out hipster: "i'm just kiddin, maaaaaaan. Ryan's outside, I'm Mason, i'm basically like the boss..."
Ollie: "Good for you, what about Rob, is he around?"
Mason (previously fuckin burn-out hipster): "nope, talk to john right there."
Ollie: "cool. guy."
John looks like this and is lightweight cool:
Ollie: "where/when did the line start?"
John: "oh blah blah, this, that, Mason, designer, gargle on Mason's nuts, blah, blah, slurp"
Ryan walks up, looks like this:
I think to myself, "self, what the fuck have you gotten into, there cant be a bigger collection of fuckheads in the entire city of San Diego..."
In Ryan's defense, he was super cool, very easy going, answered questions honestly, and didn't try to come off like he was too big for my "little blog".
I finish up the interview and the fuckin burn out hipster Mason wants to "walk and talk". I tell him I got shit to do, he just wants to know what I'm going to write.
I tell him "well, its a satire blog"...
"but you're not gonna clown us right? fuck it, i don't care, do whatever you want"
Ollie: "Oh I will... thanks 'BRRRRRROOOO'.."
Moral of the story, Ryan from Cardboard Robot needs a new job. The shit these guys are peddling is straight TRASH, Mason is a fuckin faggot, John was cool, but still a little "cool guy, i run a line, jock me" type, and Ryan was just an overall mellow dude. Somebody hook him up with a decent line to work with, he'll get shit done.
After that catastrophe i stepped to the ZEROFRIENDS booth. This is a collective of artist’s works printed to t-shirts headlined by Alex Pardee. This cat is a fucking bad ass...
Peace to Reez at Thegluttony.com for the above photo. My original didn't take well, too much flash. That is a canvas Alex painted the first day of Agenda. Bummer that I missed it.
Unfortunately, Alex wasn't there. I talked to Sean instead though, and this cat was straight up cool. Some wild shit too, apparently homie had set up the local "Zumies" in Visalia (my home turf, what now) and knew the homie Johnny who manages the place. We talked a bit, he gave me first dibs on the prints he brought down for sale, and I cut.
Lots of other bullshit goin on, I was over it, so we hopped in the limo and mashed it to ASR. I needed to drink, so I got up in the beer garden and started pounding beers. Apparently so did this bird:
cause she was gettin extra wild. Before this picture was taken, she walked by me and I said “hey, have a sticker”. She says “stick it on me”. I oblige and stick it directly over her exposed nipple. She says “I hope you’re prepared for a lawsuit, that’s assault…” I laugh and casually walk away. This bird runs in a circle around the piñata den, and comes back to say “I was just kidding.” I said “well put these stickers over your nipples and let me take a photo…” She says she can’t pull her J’s out in public, so I settled for the above joint. Trust in this, if I wasn’t in a faithful relationship with TBC, I would have pursued a photo shoot back at the telly. . Peep a couple videos I shot of her hi-jinx…
I call this one: wild ass hoe does cartwheel in mini-skirt:
Then she beat the shit out of a pinata:
This broad really needed attention. Badly.
After that fiasco, I walked around and snapped some random photos...
Who has more fun? The Blondes?
Or the brunettes?
I’m a brunette guy myself, and the stomach pieces on these birds were oh so silky smooth.
Or maybe your shirt screams "I NEED ATTENTION". haha. This dude asked me if I was a cop. LOL.
Kareem Campbell in the building:
Casey from "The Captain and Casey Show" fame. If you look closely on the left, that's Jerone Wilson. He was mad cause I asked Casey for a photo and not him.
If this is on his head/neck I can't imagine whats under his shirt:
Look closely in the left corner, NPB reppin over the taillight:
The head muhfucka in charge over at L.R.G. (yellow jacket) One of the coolest cats i've ever met. Big ups to Robert!
This homie was extra smoove in his turtle neck:
On our way back to the room, hella saucy from a day's worth of drinking, I decide it would be a good idea to buy some boos. Remember earlier when I said they don't sell drank after 10:00 p.m. I tell the store clerk to give me a bottle of Patron, realize I don't have any scratch, so I tell Sam to pay for it. He was drunk, so he was like Fuck It. We get back to the room and Sam passes out at like 8:30. I call in an order to Fuddrucker's (that was directly next door to the hotel we were staying at), and ordered an ungodly amount of food. In honor of Reez at Thegluttony.com:
Get your glutt on!
I passed out around 11:00. called it a night.